THE DIARY OF A YOUNG GIRL : THE DEFINITIVE EDITION ... - Fidele

us.
Anne
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 29, 1943
I was very sad again last night. Grandma and Hanneli came to me once more.
Grandma, oh, my sweet Grandma. How little we understood what she suffered, how
kind she always was and what an interest she took in everything that concerned us.
And to think that all that time she was carefully guarding her terrible secret. *
[*Anne's grandmother was terminally ill.]
Grandma was always so loyal and good. She would never have let any of us down.
Whatever happened, no matter how much I misbehaved, Grandma always stuck up for
me. Grandma, did you love me, or did you not understand me either? I don't know.
How lonely Grandma must have been, in spite of us. You can be lonely even when
you're loved by many people, since you're still not bd'"dI" any 0 y s one an only.
And Hanneli? Is she still alive? What's she doing? Dear God, watch over her and
bring her back to us. Hanneli, you're a reminder of what my fate might have been.
I keep seeing myself in your place. So why am I often miserable about what goes on
here? Shouldn't I be happy, contented and glad, except when I'm thinking of
Hanneli and those suffering along with her? I'm selfish and cowardly. Why do I
always think and dream the most awful things and want to scream in terror?
Because, in spite of everything, I still don't have enough faith in God. He's
given me so much, which I don't deserve, and yet each day I make so many mistakes!
Thinking about the suffering of those you hold dear can reduce you to tears; in
fact, you could spend the whole day crying. The most you can do is pray for God to
perform a miracle and save at least some of them. And I hope I'm doing enough of
that!
Anne
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 30, 1943
Dearest Kitty,
Since the last raging quarrels, things have settled down here, not only between
ourselves, Dussel and "upstairs," but also between Mr. and Mrs. van D.
Nevertheless, a few dark thunderclouds are heading this way, and all because of .
. . food. Mrs. van D. came up with the ridiculous idea of frying fewer potatoes in
the morning and saving them for later in the day. Mother and Dussel and the rest
of us didn't agree with her, so now we're dividing up the potatoes as well. It
seems the fats and oils aren't being doled out fairly, and Mother's going to have
to put a stop to it. I'll let you know if there are any interesting developments.
For the last few months now we've been splitting up the meat (theirs with fat,
ours without), the soup (they eat it, we don't), the potatoes (theirs peeled, ours
not), the extras and now the fried potatoes too.
If only we could split up completely!
Yours, Anne
P.S. Bep had a picture postcard of the entire Royal Family copied for me. Juliana
looks very young, and so does the Queen. The three little girls are adorable. It
was incredibly nice of Bep, don't you think?