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DON JUAN: Kingston - Phil Willmott

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a state more appropriate to a Spanish nobleman and the<br />

world’s greatest lover.<br />

LEPORELLO: This is no joke I’m afraid, that’s what I’ve<br />

been told to tell you. She’s fed up with you. She says<br />

you’re a lazy, selfish parasite and it’s time you were<br />

taught a lesson.<br />

<strong>DON</strong> <strong>JUAN</strong>: She didn’t say parasite.<br />

LEPORELLO: No that bit was me… but she’s not been<br />

impressed with the way you’ve been behaving lately –<br />

you’ve been neglecting her. Not a very good idea.<br />

<strong>DON</strong> <strong>JUAN</strong>: But I would do anything for her, Leporello.<br />

Her beauty captivates my poor, weary heart, yet it soars<br />

again at the thought that she might cast but a glance in<br />

my –<br />

LEPORELLO: Yeh, all right. Give it a rest. This is your<br />

trusty servant you’re talking to, remember. I’ve heard you<br />

giving the same horse do-do to women the length and<br />

breadth of Spain.<br />

<strong>DON</strong> <strong>JUAN</strong>: What can I do to appease her?<br />

LEPORELLO: An honest day’s work or rather seven. She<br />

says if you can make a success of this wine bar in a week<br />

then you can return to your old life as a Spanish<br />

Nobleman. But if you’re lazy and this place remains empty<br />

then you’ll be stuck here for good.<br />

<strong>DON</strong> <strong>JUAN</strong>: I must serve grog to peasants in this grey<br />

little tavern or I can not go home?<br />

LEPORELLO: More than that master I’m afraid, it’s got to<br />

be full by the end of the week or Toadsville’s your<br />

permanent address. (HE LOOKS AROUND) Looks like<br />

you’ve got your work cut out.<br />

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