"Self- Portrait" – A Study of the 'Self':

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Prologue "Look in the mirror And deeply engrave the picture in your memory. This is you. Your ugliness nakedness, pain. Look at yourself And keep the pictures in your heart. Do not lose the slight hold on truth, The truth about yourself, ugly, a mask, hurt, naked, wrapped in iron, the iron of protection" (Portrait, Yahav Or) •••• The immortal line of the mother queen "Mirror, mirror on the wall…" entered my world straight from fairy tales. I was a new student in the Department of Art, without any experience or knowledge in drawing, but keen, inquisitive and full of a passion to create. Relations between me and the mirror, or rather between me and myself, were complex. The mirror just stood as an empty mediator which filled up whenever I approached it, with charcoal, paint and enormous curiosity. Then the lecturer set us the exercise of "drawing a self-portrait" and told me: "You will love this ". I did not understand why he said so and later, when I found myself spending days and nights painting self-portraits, I still could not explain how he had known. Later I met him when I was already an experienced artist and he was on the staff of the art school I headed. I summoned my courage and asked him: How on earth could you know? Painting self-portraits became a subject that fascinated me more than any other. My first solo exhibition (1987), My environment and myself, consisted of numerous self-portraits. Whenever I could I would stand in front of the studio mirror and challenge myself "to succeed in painting myself correctly and well". What is ‘correct’? What is ‘well’? What does it mean ‘to succeed’? I thought it meant simply 'to draw someone resembling myself', 'like in real life', to be able to tell myself I am a good painter. To create for myself the image of a skilled artist. Sometimes I took a hard line and chose a monastic pencil and VI • http://stage.co.il/Stories/308001
diligent work. Sometimes, sick and tired of this, the painting erupted in a variety of colours and materials. Always my displeasure with the final product led me to the next work, with the hidden wish that "maybe this time it will come out better". Over the years I have had various jobs. I have taught, taken part in different art projects, founded an art department at the College, produced art works on different subjects and distanced myself from the personal intimate work in the studio. Yet, in my heart I carried a constant longing, to return to the studio and finally succeed in painting myself properly. Perhaps I longed to meet myself. When I chose to combine research and creative work I knew already that to paint myself in front of a mirror was to investigate the inner self. I understood it was a form of research. I also understood that all this studio work, over and again in front of a mirror, deciding with each painting that the task was not yet done, was a concrete metaphor of the process of self-investigation. Later I realised that this investigation would not be complete until I could feel satisfied with a self-portrait. My discontent turned out to be a blessing. Looking at myself in the mirror, the story of Narcissus echoed in my mind. I knew that some would say that this was the sin of self-love, and I was prepared to face those who raised their eyebrows about my obsessive self-preoccupation. All I was asking was: "Mirror, mirror, tell me who I am". In other words, "What kind of painter am I?" In every painting I re-discovered myself and still the work remained unfinished. Every painting presented me with another aspect of all my faces. The excuse I gave myself for going on was always ― you must paint better, more correctly, the real you. Sometimes I thought I would not succeed until I knew who I was. Only then would I not need this tool any more. In the meantime, I stand in front of the mirror and every time this concrete metaphor re-echoes the question – Who am I? And if it is not allowed to say so aloud, then I ask it with paint, paper and brush. And so, slowly, the picture clarifies: I am investigating my 'self', and every painting is the outcome of that day’s and that occasion’s research. And the answers pile up. Another portrait and another, every one an answer to the question silently put to the mirror: "Who am I? What is my story?" As an art lecturer and a working artist I had fairly clear ideas about what constituted a good picture, as I also knew that ‘resemblance’ is not necessarily a good outcome. But I was in two minds. On the one hand, professional knowledge and on the other, the irritating challenge― to paint a self-portrait that looked like me. It was as if the camera had never been invented and that Expressionist artists and their like had never existed. But the dissatisfaction of an unsolved dilemma drove me to do it again and again. That lecturer had said, "You will love this", but I knew that I had never loved the outcome, but only longed for the next attempt to succeed. VII
Page 1 and 2: Anglia Ruskin University "Self- Por
Page 3 and 4: Chapter 4: The Language of Art 4.1
Page 5 and 6: Chapter 12: Summary and conclusions
Page 7 and 8: List A - Diagrams and Tables Part I
Page 9 and 10: Number ILS. 1: ILS. 2: ILS. 3: ILS.
Page 11 and 12: List C - Figures of the Findings Nu
Page 13 and 14: Fig. 23: 6 Paintings - Black and Wh
Page 15 and 16: Fig. 57(a, b, c): 18 Items - Detail
Page 17: Abstract The research proposes a mo
Page 21 and 22: PART I INTRODUCTORY: THE 'SELF' AND
Page 23 and 24: Bruce, 1999; Lurie, 2006). Rembrand
Page 25 and 26: Artists who chose painting self - p
Page 27 and 28: aise hidden entities from the inner
Page 29 and 30: esearcher, leads this approach and
Page 31 and 32: Introduction; Chapter 3 - Designing
Page 33 and 34: definition of Hohenstein 'art knowl
Page 35 and 36: individuals. This phenomenon appear
Page 37 and 38: and it will be what the interpreter
Page 39 and 40: treating the patient but as part of
Page 41 and 42: taking place. This study researches
Page 43 and 44: Chadwick 1998, 2001; West, 2004). T
Page 45 and 46: self-portrait, therefore I investig
Page 47 and 48: 2.5 Creation and Investigation 2.5.
Page 49 and 50: Primary thought processes exert a d
Page 51 and 52: I have chosen an approach that allo
Page 53 and 54: 2. Keeping doing this consistently
Page 55 and 56: Diagram 1: The Disciplines involved
Page 57 and 58: through a work of art, about a work
Page 59 and 60: 3. Subject investigates object (fil
Page 61 and 62: 3.4.3 The Research Object In painti
Page 63 and 64: 'What' is the methodology needed to
Page 65 and 66: In this chapter: 4.1 Origins 4.2 Fo
Page 67 and 68: that grants a tangible shape to fee
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Extending this understanding of the
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Mukarovsky (1983) explains that sur
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4.2.3 Single, Primary Artistic Mean
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Other single artistic means, omitte
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McNiff (1998), an art therapist, cr
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In this chapter: Chapter 5: METHODO
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My creative activity developed in a
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Dilthey is the most prominent repre
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5.2.3 Supplementary Research Approa
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designate the boundaries of time, p
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2. Meetings and conversations with
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Table 1: Data Classification into O
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5.4.2 Intertextuality Intertextuali
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need translocations and metaphors.
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Para-textuality - Table 2: The Comp
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5.5 Truth, Validity and Reliability
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5.5.3 Reliability and Validity The
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process. The limits of the research
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Is it appropriate for a researcher
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classified and managed. I discuss i
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PART Il THE INQUIRY: THE PORTRAIT A
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Diagram 8a (1): Style and Genre - G
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Diagram 8b (3): Visual Values - Org
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How the Findings (Paintings) are di
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In this chapter: 6.1 Super-Finding:
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3 1 99 2 4
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6.2 The Artist's 'Act of Choice' Th
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the researcher to identify these co
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people perceived the thundering and
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say that the artist chooses water a
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6.5 Extra-Textual Affinity - Conver
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Fig. 3: 4 Items - 'Object - Book' -
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(c) From Object to Installation - S
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115
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This installation was created from
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hundreds, and all these together cr
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1 1 3 121 2 2 Installation Exhibiti
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123
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Summary The study’s single 'case
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In this chapter: 7.1 Image and Writ
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3 1 129 2 4
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7.2 Image and Writing in Art The en
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When the artist was occupied with h
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(a) Encounter - "One on One, One ne
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Fig.8 (1) reinforces this for one e
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The random two sentences marked by
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These findings present several situ
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7.4.1 Dialogue - Texts Developing f
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7.5 Images with Handwriting text on
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. 1 2 147
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1 2 The researcher differentiates b
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5 1 9 2 6 10 In these images newspa
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Summary Ils 4: Image with Headings
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In this chapter: Introductory Summa
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Introductory Summary Having in Chap
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1 13 5 2 6 159 3 15 7 4
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1 4 1 2 5 161 2 3 6
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enewal. Netzer (2004) points at the
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The strategy of the artist to keep
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1 1 1 2 2 167 3 3
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The penetration of this colour symb
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The colours infiltrating the black
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Fig. 27, shows the use of a variety
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The image of the bird that appeared
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8.4.1 Findings Kandinsky considered
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1 3 1 1 179 2 4 3 2
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8.5 Dominant Colour - Red ILS. 12:
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1 5 13 9 2 14 3 6 7 10 183 15 11 4
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8.5.2 Red - Symbol and Significance
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8.6.1 The Findings Fig. 42: 7 Paint
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8.6.2. Yellow - Symbol and signific
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Regarding the dialogue between colo
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sounds. The two colours polarity of
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In the encounter of the elementary
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Red & Green 1 3 1 2 5 2 197 1 3 6 4
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is expressed in a number of finding
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In this chapter: 9.1 Drawing in Cha
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The use of this technique and these
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The dialogue between line and Tone
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8 Line encounters Tone of Colour in
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1 5 1 2 209 4
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lurred everything. I painted thin,
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A repeating pattern is a form of ex
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At first glance such patterns (Fig.
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The technique of aquarelle is based
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This technique introduces the subje
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The terms 'collage' and 'assemblage
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When the artist chooses a book as t
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225
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Chapter 10: STRUCTURE AND ORGANISAT
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10.1.1 Findings and Interpretation
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Fig. 75 (a, b): 6 Paintings - Part
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This finding shows a partial face.
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9 8 235 10
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Here, disassembly takes another for
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Zemach (1992) summarises it thus: "
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SUMMARY TO THE INQUIRY 1 The chapte
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I did not look for one absolute, un
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Foreword This research study has tw
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Diag.11 The 'Chain of Observations'
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11.1 Split 1: Unification and Separ
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The split that occurs at the 'mirro
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hint or as Lacan (in Vanier, 2003)
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The 'subject' is the person facing
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profane ('Book Object', Readymade',
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Lacan (in Vanier, 2003) defines it
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Diag. 14: Split 3: ' Ego' and 'Self
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'Ego' and 'self' join and collabora
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history in a continuous process of
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differentiates between the individu
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11.7 Ego Designs a Portrait-Myth Ar
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Chapter 12: THESIS SUMMARY Conclusi
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4. My research broadens the concept
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Chapter 13: IMPLEMENTATION AND VALI
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interdisciplinary intersubjective,
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As a creator and researcher I went
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the potential of the 'ego'. In my r
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13.2.2 The 'Artistic - Activity' Th
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In this way he gives meaning to the
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The participants in the workshop ha
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the human being (Frankl, 1981). The
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create works of art of universal va
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My journals divulge that there were
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During the course of the research I
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References Abraham, A. (1989) The V
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At: http://www.qualitative-research
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Diamant, A. ( 2005) The Red Tent. (
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Environment Journal. (Vol.5 22-24).
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Klein, M. (1975) The Writings of Me
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McNiff, S. (1998) Art-Based Researc
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Reinhart, T. (2000) From Cubism to
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Shoshani, A. (2002) Experience and
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Van Gogh, V. (1992) Letters to Theo
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App. No List D - Table of Appendice
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2. To develop a method of analysis
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The complete process has been docum
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The research to examine the hidden
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paintbrush for a painting that will
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The research examines their signifi
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This sentence can serve as a headin
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1 2 Again, Dadaism peeks out of the
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The words and sentences randomly ma
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And the fisherman’s heart beats.
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formative struggle takes place betw
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Fig. 13(b): - 1 item - Handwriting
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is hinting about reflection, self o
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Here, too, the curled and uniform w
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directing decision. Naturally, some
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8 1 3 6 9 30 4 7 2 5
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Fig. 12(c): 1 Item - Letters and Bi
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Thus, handwriting has led the reade
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ecomes a work of art about self-por
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Here too the artist uses greyish: n
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According to ancient beliefs, a lun
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Appendix 3 8.1 Black and White PART
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But maybe a lot of power is hiding
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suddenly, I understand that these a
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The artist has discussed the issue
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everything. Nothing interests me [
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he came near the sun and the water
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Lips are sensual organs that transm
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In her journal the artist writes: "
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Fig. 40 combines two strong symbols
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Athena `represent "independence and
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this work through. The yellow expre
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. Fig. 36: 1 Detail - Finding from
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5 The dialogue sharpens and now the
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13 12 1 71 14
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The word leaf appears in different
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constrictions and work freely and t
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(A2 (a) 8.8.04). On both sides of t
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parts (images, shapes, parts of the
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16 Fig. 55 shows some of the portra
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The assumption is that when the art
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drawing process, as part of the act
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A phenomenon of an eye poking out a
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Avrahami leads and guides: “As op
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The study pointed at the situations
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Elsewhere the study represents each
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dipped into the 'dying lake', dived
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of this study ― a core and key fi
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Fig. 59 (4) depicts a figure reflec
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101
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Appendix 5 Chapter 10: ORGANISATION
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The above three findings describe a
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In an analogy to Jung's approach (1
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The findings from group 2D - from t
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Fig. 83: 4 Paintings - Dismantling
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Fig. 85: 6 Paintings - Transformati
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Fig. 87: 6 Paintings -Transformatio
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Glossary 1 Act of Separation: A cri
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Single, Primary Formative artistic
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