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"Self- Portrait" – A Study of the 'Self':

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3.1 Why a Painting <strong>of</strong> a <strong>Self</strong> - Portrait <strong>–</strong> Why I<br />

On <strong>the</strong> axis <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> "self" I am <strong>the</strong> artist/researcher who continuously paints a self - portrait. I started <strong>the</strong><br />

above discussion by presenting some <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> greatest artists who are identified as those who painted self<br />

- portraits. I have chosen to present <strong>the</strong>m as background and basis <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> investigated phenomenon. I<br />

do not intend in this research to compare myself with <strong>the</strong>se giants, or to place myself as an equal. They<br />

were presented as a model <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> phenomenon and through <strong>the</strong>m I wished to describe some <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong><br />

outstanding characteristics <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> phenomenon. As an active painter who works in this genre, I embody<br />

in a practical and real manner <strong>the</strong> phenomenon that has been defined here as human behaviour. This<br />

enabled me to establish and form a research situation and define it as a case-study.<br />

In her article Auto/biography as Performative PhD Thesis, Sally Berridge (2008) describes her research.<br />

She investigates and creates an autobiography while being occupied with memories and creating an<br />

identity. Her research is carried out as a work <strong>of</strong> art. She defines her overall investigative work as<br />

bricolage and presents a visual object that she defines as an 'Artist - Book' (Livre d'artiste) as <strong>the</strong><br />

dominant part <strong>of</strong> her doctoral <strong>the</strong>sis. In her article Art- based research and creative PhD (2007) she<br />

presents herself as a researcher and artist and explains that though she presents a work <strong>of</strong> art as a<br />

researched work for her doctoral <strong>the</strong>sis, she does not consider it as 'great art' "but as <strong>the</strong> 'ordinary'<br />

generic art that has not yet been 'discovered', but may be explored in a creative doctorate"(ibid.).<br />

I join her statements and wish to point out that I do not place my portraits in <strong>the</strong> honoured pan<strong>the</strong>on <strong>of</strong><br />

<strong>the</strong> masters as an artistic phenomenon, but closely examine <strong>the</strong> phenomenon which I have defined as<br />

human behaviour as a research case. In o<strong>the</strong>r words, in this research and via this phenomenon I wish<br />

to push both forward and onward <strong>the</strong> borders <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> investigation <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> 'self', <strong>the</strong> possibilities and<br />

processes <strong>of</strong> this research.<br />

From both <strong>the</strong> phenomenon and its products (<strong>the</strong> paintings) reverberates <strong>the</strong> subject's question <strong>of</strong> 'who<br />

am I?', and demonstrates obedience to <strong>the</strong> Socratic statement 'know thyself'. Repeating this action<br />

again and again points to <strong>the</strong> fact that <strong>the</strong> question is disturbing, and raises <strong>the</strong> assumption that<br />

perhaps <strong>the</strong> answer is <strong>the</strong> actual preoccupation with <strong>the</strong> question. To ask and to paint, and again to ask<br />

and to paint. I can identify a closed circle here. Every time <strong>the</strong> question arises and disturbs, <strong>the</strong> painter<br />

creates a painting, receives an answer, <strong>the</strong> answer does not satisfy him and <strong>the</strong>n he returns and paints.<br />

It is a closed circle which here, with <strong>the</strong> help <strong>of</strong> qualitative research tools, I wish to open.<br />

Winnicott (1971) explains that <strong>the</strong> soul leads us astray and plays hide-and-seek with us. On <strong>the</strong> one<br />

hand, it strives to be seen, and on <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r hand it hides. He is <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> opinion that <strong>the</strong> artist's work<br />

demonstrates and expresses this. The artist bares and exposes via <strong>the</strong> painting, while at <strong>the</strong> same time<br />

he hides inside <strong>the</strong> painting. In o<strong>the</strong>r words, <strong>the</strong> painting and <strong>the</strong> language <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> painting are able to<br />

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