FREE Download - Jan Johnson

family is free of sinful tendencies? As people search their souls, the Spirit reveals what they
need to know. It's important to be open to God to reveal the issues He wants disclosed.
Blaming parents is futile because most parents are well meaning in their attempts to nurture
children. Parents were affected by their own sin nature, culture and upbringing. Many parents
have made heroic attempts to filter out these influences and they have passed on much less of the
denial, blame, isolation and anger. As a result, our struggle is not as severe as it might have been.
Q AREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO FORGET WHAT LIES BEHIND AND STRAIN TOWARD
WHAT LIES AHEAD (Phil. 3:13)?
A This passage is not talking about burying past hurts, but about how Paul put his glorious past
as an elite Hebrew leader behind him and learned to be a humble disciple. He even dared to
become an outcast in religious politics -- you might say he was no longer interested in being a
"looking-good kid."
Denying that someone hurt us is not the same as forgiving a hurt, although many prefer to
substitute denial for forgiveness. To forgive someone, we must know the offense. Forgiveness
is part of the healing process, described by the prophet Jeremiah: "You can't heal a wound by
saying it's not there!" (Jer. 6:14, LB).
Q WHEN IS ANGER APPROPRIATE?
A The sin is not anger, but bitterness and actions that grow out of uncontrolled anger. When we
let the sun go down on our wrath, we have not presented our anger to God. In His presence, we
can sort out whether our anger comes from an appropriate source (others' hardheartedness, for
example, Mark 3:5) or inappropriate source (our jealousy, for example, Gen. 4:1-8). Then we
look at how we express anger. Being harsh, especially with those who are not involved, is
inappropriate. We can learn to appropriately express our anger and to ventilate it using the tools
mentioned in chapter 15.
Q ISN'T GOD POWERFUL ENOUGH TO HEAL US WITHOUT DREDGING UP OUR
PAST?
A Yes, God is the powerful healer of our afflictions and diseases. In some cases He may choose
to do so instantly, but more often He works with us, teaching us and transforming us into His
likeness through a slower process. This latter approach benefits us because the experience
teaches us to know Christ better and to practice the skills of forgiveness.
FOR PERSONAL REFLECTION
Answer these questions as honestly as possible. Take a minute to quiet yourself before
answering them and ask God to reveal to you anything that you need to know.
o What topics did your family avoiding talking about when you were growing up?
o Which person in your house did you trust most? Distrust the most?
o What feelings was your family uncomfortable with?