Dean Amory - techniques for coaching

3.12. SAYING “NO”
Do you have difficulty saying “no”? Are you always trying to be nice to
others at the expense of yourself?
Well, you’re not alone. Lots op people are not good at saying “no”,
because they do not want to hurt the other person’s feelings.
Whenever they get requests for help, they attend to them even though
they have important work to do. Sometimes, at the end of the day,
forcing them to forgo sleep to catch up on their work.
Mostly, they realize that all these times of not saying “no” (when they
should) are not helping them at all. They are spending a lot of time and
energy for other people and not spending nearly as much time for
themselves. This is so frustrating, especially since they bring it upon
themselves.
Realities of NOT Saying No
While saying yes seems like an easy answer for the reasons above, it’s
not necessary the best answer all the time.
Just like saying no has its implications, NOT saying no *has*
implications too. Every time we say yes to something, we’re actually
saying no to something else. Think about it:
When you say yes to something you don’t enjoy, you say no to
things that you love
When you say yes to a job you don’t love, you say no to your dreams
When you say yes to someone you don’t like, you say no to a
fulfilling relationship
When you say yes to working overtime, you say no to your social life
When you say yes to Quadrant 3/4 tasks, you say no to your
Quadrant 2, high value activities
To learn to say “No”, we have to first understand what’s resisting us
about it. Below are common reasons why people find it hard to say no:
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