Dean Amory - techniques for coaching

3.26 CONFRONTATION
Confrontation does not have to be negative. It is the currency of the
realm for effective coaching. Here are seven steps to help coaches
develop effective confrontation skills:
I. Listen very carefully to what the person you are coaching truly
wants to accomplish: his values, beliefs, and aspirations. This is the
foundation of authentic coaching. Take the time to truly
understand.
“What I’m hearing is you truly believe that the only way to make a
dent in your department’s productivity is to implement an effective
quality improvement program. You really want to make that
happen. Have I got that right?”
II. Intervene directly and clearly when you discover self-sabotage
(When the person is looking at things in distorted or defensive
ways that block achievement of her aspirations and goals.)
“You keep telling war stories about why TQM efforts failed in other
operations and how top managers are cynical about quality
improvement programs. I wonder if, at some level, you’re worrying
about outside reactions and are reluctant to go against the grain –
using that as an excuse for not doing what you believe in?”
III. Help the person discover the destructive nature of negative
internal self-talk or external rationalization).
“Do you realize that if you give up, you automatically forfeit your
ability to create the future that you want or the difference you want
to make?
610