Chanukah 5770/2009 - Jewish Infertility

The Best of A TIME 

A Compilation of Inspirational 

Chanukah Articles 

lssue 62/Chanukah 2009

THE COMMITTEE FOR 

H ALACHA & TECHNOLOGY 

W HAT EVERY 

C OUPLE 

E XPERIENCING 

I NFERTILITY 

S HOULD KNOW. 

I N Q U I R E 

about the level of Hashgacha 

allowed in the IVF Center 

of your choice. 

(Inquiries must be made by 

each couple.) 

A Project of A TIME 

Under the Leadership of: 

R’ Benyamin Landau | R’ Hershel Ausch 

R’ Shmuel Meir Katz | R’ Shmuel Feurst 

This program is under the supervision of 

R’ Aron Shmuel Jacobowitz 

Director of Medical Affairs for A TIME. 

Please call 212.260.0790 to set up Hashgacha 

REQUEST 

to have Hashgacha at the 

IVF center must be made by 

the couple. 

N O T I F Y 

the Machon in a timely 

fashion and keep the 

Machon updated about all 

progress. 

The leading Rabbonim with expertise in all halachic issues pertaining to infertility and reproductive medicine are available 

to you through The Committee for Halacha and Technology. These Rabbonim have been educated by the Rabbonim of our 

Machon and by top medical physicians regarding all aspects of fertility treatments and can answer all your halachic inquiries. 

The Committee provides Hashgacha in all major IVF Centers. Under the leadership of R’ Hershel Ausch, R’ Benyamin Landau, 

R’ Shmuel Meir Katz, R’ Shmuel Feurst and R’ Mechel Shteinmetz, these services are available exclusively through The 

Committee. The Committee has done extensive research and has arranged with various specialists to obtain permission for 

Hashgacha during IVF and IUI procedures. It is imperative that each couple call The Committee for Halacha and Technology 

for full details before beginning an IVF or IUI procedure.

Letter from the Editor 

SHAAREI TIKVAH/ CHANUKAH 2009 

3 

Dear Friends, 

We are happy to present “Shaarei Tikvah: Chanukah”, a compilation 

of inspirational articles featured in our magazine. 

Since the inception of A TIME sixteen years ago our mission has 

remained the same; to dispel darkness and bring light into your lives. 

Just as the founding of A TIME was a flicker of light in complete 

darkness, so too every one of our services and programs is designed 

to illuminate and shorten your journey. 

The Institute of Halacha and Technology offers a bright light in 

the world of infertility. Rabbonim can now address the most complex 

medical shailos with complete understanding of the latest technology. 

Mandating insurance coverage for fertility treatments was the result 

of extensive lobbying and hard work. Today, it is B”H yet another 

beacon of light in the darkness. 

Beautiful Shabbatons, mashgichos in the leading medical centers, 

support groups, libraries, get-togethers, and medical events are all 

shining lights; all made possible by a group of individuals who had 

experienced the darkness, but hoped to light the way for others. 

Our experienced helpline staff, devoted volunteers, chapter 

founders and directors, medical staff, caring physicians… every 

member who joins the A TIME family broadens the circle of light. 

We are here for you…with A TIME you are never alone. 

In this issue we have included many of our favorite pieces, with 

the hope that they will brighten your Chanukah. 

This year, as we light the Chanukah candles, may the warmth and 

glow of the flames illuminate our lives. Bayamim Hahem Bazman 

Hazeh. May we all very soon experience our own personal miracles. 

A Freilichen Chanukah, 

Rabbi Rosen 

Founder and President


4 

Main Office: 

1310 48th Street, Suite 406 Brooklyn, NY 11219 

Phone: (718) 686-8912 • Fax: (718) 686-8927 

Helpline: 718.686.8912 Prompt 1 

Email: admin@atime.org 

Hashgacha: 212-260-0790 

Menorah Adoption Project: 1-888-7-MENORA 

www.ATIME.org 

Mid-Atlantic Region: 

Tel : (443) 220-2702 

Email: midatlantic@atime.org 

• Baltimore 

• Washington 

•Virginia 

•Delaware 

Florida 

Email: florida@atime.org 

Jackie Horowitz 

Midwest Chicago 

Email: midwest@atime.org 

Chaya Spil/773-459-2505 

Lakewood 

Tel: (732) 534-0734 

110 Hillside Blvd., #8 

Lakewood, NJ 08701 

Monsey: 

25 Robert Pitt Dr 

Monsey NY, 10952 

Tel: (845) 517-4347 

Monsey@atime.org 

Canada: 

Tel: (416) 638-4618/Fax: (416) 789-5340 

Email: contact@atime.ca 

127 Laurelcrest Avenue, Suite B 

Toronto, ON M3H 2B4 

England: 

Tel: (797) 328-6827 

Email: atime.london@gmail.com 

79 Fairholt Road, London, N165EW 

Israel: 

Tel: 0523-770-444 

Email: israel@atime.org 

List of Extensions for Main Office: 

Membership/111 

Insurance Advocacy/112 

Pregnancy Loss/113 

IVF Failure Survival /113 

Shabbos Near the Hospital Program/114 

Shabbos Courier Services /114 

Adoption/116 

Rabbi Chaim Aron Unger/Private Consultation/117 

Rabbi Mordechai Koenig/Medical Consultant/175 

Mrs. Chanie Blumenberg/Office Manager/200 

Mrs. Chaya Fleischman/bookkeeper/201 

Mrs. Ruchy Reinman/Accounts Receivable/ 202 

Rabbi Shaul Rosen/Founder and President/204 

Mrs. Miriam Fishoff/Events Coordinator /205 

Mrs. Frady Oshry/Secretary/206 

Rebetzin Mindy Landau/Helpline Director/207 

Mrs. Vivienne Moskowitz/Medical Consultant/208 

Mrs. Shaindy Blau/Libraries Director/209 

Mr. Lazer Mermelstein/CFO Office Controller/ 210 

Mr. Chanoch Glick/Graphic Designer/ 211 

Mrs. Brany Rosen/Director of Member Services/212 

Rabbi Chaim Heller/Fundraiser/214 

Mrs. Faly Roth/Supervision Hashgocha/280 

Helpline and Guidance/501 

A TIME, a non-profit organization that supports and educates those in the Jewish 

community experiencing infertility, publishes this newsletter 4 times annually (April, 

June, September, and December). A TIME does not assume responsibility for the 

kashruth or reliability of any product or establishment advertised in its pages. We 

reserve the right to reject any advertising for any reason. We shall not be held liable 

for non-publication of any submitted advertisements. 

Office: A TIME, 1310 48th Street, Suite 406, Brooklyn, NY 11219. 

A TIME welcomes your signed letters, articles and poems. All suggestions, 

comments and constructive criticisms are welcome. All submissions become the 

property of A TIME and may be edited for length and clarity. Articles and letters 

published in A TIME express the views of the individual writers and may not 

necessarily represent the views of A TIME. Please address all correspondence to: 

A TIME 1310 48th Street, Suite 406, Brooklyn, NY 11219 

or email: admin@atime.org 

Services 

24 Hour Hotline • A TIME Publications • Book & Audio Libraries• 

Committee for Halacha & Technology • Family Builder Program• 

Helpline • Individual Therapy • Insurance Advocacy & Support• 

Medical Referrals & Research • Menorah Adoption Project• 

National Medical Conferences • Online Support Network• 

Peer Support • Pregnancy-Loss Support Program• 

Refuah Network • Seminars/Educational Events• 

Shabbos Near The Hospital • Support Groups • Website• 

Weekend Retreats 

Founder & President/Rabbi Shaul Rosen 

CFO/Lazer Mermelstein 

Executive Director of Operations/Rabbi Chaim Heller 

Director of Member Services/Brany Rosen 

Director of Referral Services/Rebbitzen Mindy Landau 

Board of Directors 

Moshe Blum • Naftali Einhorn • Yechiel Eisenstadt • Benyamin Feit• 

Shabsi Fuchs • Rabbi Aron Grossman • Avi Hager • David Jacobowitz • Alter Katz • Rabbi Dovid 

Lefkowitz • Rabbi Sendy Ornstein • Moshe Dov Stern• Rabbi Aron Twersky 

• Rabbi Naftuli Weiss • Shmuel Zafir 

Rabbinical Dean 

Rabbi Binyomin Landau 

Rabbinical Directors 

Rabbi Tzvi Ausch • Rabbi Shmuel Fuerst • Rabbi Shmuel Meir Katz 

Medical Advisory Board 

Samuel Bender, M.D •.Alan Berkeley, M.D. •Jessica Brown, M.D. • Natan Bar-Chama, M.D. • Jerome 

Check, M.D. • Matthew Cohen • Owen Davis, M.D. • Dan Goldschlag, M.D. • Marc Goldstein, M.D. 

•Richard Grazi, M.D. • Victor Grazi, M.D. • Jamie Grifo, M.D. • Lawrence Grunfeld, M.D. • Joshua 

Hurwitz, M.D, • Peter McGover, M.D. • Nachum Katlowitz, M.D. •Harvey Kleinman, M.D. • Zalmen 

Levine, M.D. • Harry J. Lieman • Prof. Bruno Lunenfeld • Ellyn Modell, M.D. • Steven Palter, M.D. • 

Darius Paduch, M.D. •Andrei Rebarber, M.D. • Zev Rosenwaks, M.D. • Carolyn Salafia, M.D. •Daniel 

Salzman, M.D. • Mark V. Sauer, M.D. • Geoffrey Sher, M.D. •Jonathan Schiff, M.D. • Peter Schlegel, 

M.D. • Sherman Silber, M.D. •Michael Silverstein, M.D. • Daniel Stein, M.D. • Andrei Vidali, M.D. 

•Aaron Weinreb, M.D. Michael Zinger, M.D. 

Support Services Advisory Board 

Sara Barris, Ph.D. • Joy Stimmel, CSW • Myriam Kalchstein, CSW 

Wendy Wasserman, CSW • Chana M. Juravel, LMSW 

Staff 

Staff Advisor/Blimy Steinberg 

Shabbos Near the Hospital Program Coordinators/Chaya Kar, Vivienne Moskowitz 

Pregnancy-Loss Program Coordinator/Malkie Klaristenfeld 

Director of Community Outreach/Linda Franco 

Director of Volunteers/Reizy Eigner, Chevy Jacobs 

Director of Gemach Services/Chaya Kar 

Director of Community Affairs/Alter Katz 

Medical Consultant/Vivienne Moskowitz 

Secretary/Frady Oshry 

Office Manager/Chanie Blumenberg 

Bookkeeper/Chaya Fleischman 

Administrative Assistant/Ruchy Reinman 

Event Coordinator/Miriam Fishoff 

Insurance Advocacy/Zissy Neustadt 

Hashgocha/Rabbinical Supervision Coordinator/Faly Roth 

Mailing Coordinator/Gitty Green 

Library Coordinator/Shaindy Blau 

PCOS Events & Services Coordinator/Sara Selengut 

Peer Support Coordinator/Goldie Glauber 

Development Associates/Levi Y. Silverstein 

Graphic Designer/Chanoch Glick 

Helpline Staff 

Helpline Director: Rebbetzin Landau 

Helpline Coordinator: Esty Zafir 

• Esty Bernstein •Shaindy Blau • Goldie Blum • Raizy Eigner 

• Shani Feit • Goldie Glauber • Yehudis Grunwald- Chevy Jacobs • Chaya Kar • Malky Klaristenfeld 

• Devoiry Langsam • Elky Miller • Vivienne Moskowitz •Chaya Gitty Nissin - Feigy Schneid 

• Faigy Singer, RN • Miriam Tisser • Rivky Wezberger 

• Rabbi Mordechai Koenig • Rabbi Chaim Aron Unger 

Magazine & Publications 

Editor-In-Chief/Malkie Klaristenfeld Editor/Malky Levitansky Assistant Editor/Devoiry Langsam 

Hebrew/ Yiddish Editor/Yitzchok Ekstein Graphic Design/Chanoch Glick

Table of Content 

Table of Content 

Editorial 

Letter from the Editor 3 

Mailbox 6 

Chizuk 

Making the Impossible….Possible 10 

The G-d Factor 12 

Valuable Lessons From Chanukah 16 

Golah Or Geulah 17 

The Essence of Chanukah 18 

Message of Hope From 

The Eighth Chanukah Light 22 

Chanukah: Flickers of Faith 24 

Reflections on Chanukah 26 

The Age of Illumination 28 

Lights 32 

Chanukah Reflections 34 

To Light in Delight 36 

Lights at the End of the Tunnel 40 

The ABC’s of IF 46 

From C (Conception) To A (Adoption) 48 

An Egg’straordinary Story 50 

No, I’m Not a Mommy (Yet) 54 

Chanukah Infertility Style 56 

Rays of Light 60 

Light of Miracles 64 

Chanukah Infertility Style 70 

18 

93 

6 

72 


5 

Medical 

Listings 72-79 

Yiddish Section 

A Collection of Inspirational 

Chanukah articles Back-82 

A Time was founded in memory of: 

rw hrnhw c”r tvri g”v • rw nrsfh g”v c”r tprho ruzi b”h

Editorial 

Mail Box 

Sitting on a worn grey chair, 

Brooding over my pregnancy losses of this past year, 

Waiting for the nurse to come fetch me, 

So the doctor can proceed with the D & C, 

Feeling lonely, surrounded by fifty odd faces, 

Of people from all different races. 

And then….our cell did ring, 

Ah…what warmth and comfort it did bring, 

For at the other end of the line, 

Was a volunteer of our precious A TIME. 

Relief flooded our tired minds, 

The voice was soothing, and oh so kind, 

Making sure my every need was met, 

Before being whisked off the operating bed. 

Awakening from the Anesthesia induced sleep, 

My tears flowed, the pain still raw and deep, 

And yet, through the haze of it all, 

Lingered the warmth of that kindly phone call 

Mi Keamcha Yisroel!? 

SHAAREI TIKVAH/ FALL 2009 

Back home on my sofa, in the darkness of night, 

Hunched over despairingly, in misery and fright, 

I pleaded with Hashem, to show me the light, 

A soft knock on my door, my answer from above, 

In the form of a very special package of sympathy and love. 

There’s light at the end of each tunnel, the articles read. 

And with renewed hope, I went to bed 

No, the pain didn’t magically disappear, 

But it felt good to know that you truly care. 

Thank You! Thank You! Is all we can say. 

May Hashem repay you tenfold in every which way! 

R.G. 

6

To the most Wonderful A TIME FAMILY, 

There is hope! 

Although the tunnel seems dark 

And possibilities stark 


When the going gets rough, 

We just want to say enough. 


When things look down 

Going in circles around & around 


Another Simcha to attend 

Of my very best friend 

I only want to hide 

And stay inside 

But there is hope! 

It arrives in the mail 

When I feel so small & frail 

A major boost to my soul 

It’s value I can never extol 

Yes! Your ATIME MAGAZINE! 

You should all be blessed 

With only happiness 

Mazal, Brocha, & everything good, 

Hashem should repay you 

As only He could! 

With much appreciation, 

E.M. 

Dearest A TIME 

We have just completed an IVF cycle and although it 

wasn’t successful, the experience was so much easier with 

A TIME on our side. Chaya Kar was fantastic in helping us arrange 

a place to stay for Shabbos. We had delicious food sent to our door; 

the reimbursement was mailed to us a few days after our stay. Everything 

was so simple and uncomplicated, which was so amazing considering 

the hectic schedule we were under. Chanie helped us with 

a mashgicha- she came three times and it just set the right tone for 

each procedure. I feel very fortunate to have had A TIME through 

this experience and I am tremendously grateful for everything 

they’ve done for us. Thank you to this wonderful organization. 

TSB 

Dear friends, 

When the Yidden went into the Bais Hamikdash to 

search for the jars of oil, they only found one jar that was 

still untouched by the Yevanim. This jar of oil still had the original 

seal of the Kohan Godol. 

They were sure that this one jar of oil would not last for more 

than one day. But, Hashem showed them that he is in charge. He 

made a miracle and that one clean jar of oil lasted for eight days. 

How can this be connected to people going through IF? 

We sometimes feel that things are not so great in this world. 

People often say hurtful comments. Some people don't think before 

they talk and others are simply clueless. 

But, Hashem made a miracle; He gave us one AMAZING organization. 

This miracle organization is called A TIME. 

Their main office is in the heart of Boro Park. 

One organization but their kindness and good deeds are 

stamped all around the world. Their hearts reach out to all in 

need. 

A TIME; their lights will forever shine! 

Thank You, A TIME, for being that big miracle for those in need. 

Molly 

I faced my doctor with a numb mind and a bleeding heart, 

trying hard to process what he was telling me. I simply couldn't 

accept it. Here I was, a young, perfectly healthy woman, 

being told not to have any more children because of post-partum 

hemorrhaging issues. 

"Just go home and enjoy what you already have," the doctor admonished. 

"There are countless women out there who spend years 

of pain, money, and heartache trying to have even one child, let 

alone a family the size of yours. Just let it go." 

But I couldn't. And I was thrown into further confusion when, 

two years later, the doctor retracted his words and said it wouldn't 

be too dangerous for me to try again. What and who to believe 

now? And who would be willing to help me? An infertility organization 

might have the resources to refer me to the right people, but 

would they want to spend time on me? Did I dare contact them? 

It's not like I don't have any children at all. I was basically a needy 

case without the case. 

In the end, I procured the moxie and contacted A TIME. Not 

only didn't you sideline me, but Rebbitzen Landau returned every 

single one of my phone calls and listened to me for ages and brought 

me answers from Rabbi Landau. 

The end of my story isn't important. What counts is that A TIME 

exists to help all women with reproductive concerns. 

Thank you, and may Hashem give you the strength to continue 

your wonderful work. 

AM 


7

Chizuk 


Dear A TIME, 

There are no words to express our thanks to your organization, 

which has helped us for over 6 years. After unfortunately 

experiencing 3 miscarriages and 1 stillborn baby, who we 

named Menuach, b”h we have the zechus of sharing the wonderful 

news that we were blessed with a beautiful baby boy a few months 

ago. 

A TIME has played a tremendous and vital role in our journey. 

We have benefited from many of your services. From an inspiring 

Shabbaton where we made friends with whom we still keep in touch 

today, to the hotline where we received valuable advice; your website 

where we felt comfortable venting, and realized many other couples 

were experiencing similar challenges; informative medical conferences; 

Rabbi Jacobowitz’s services; the amazing Baltimore branch 

leaders, as well as the A TIME Magazine; and we could go on and 

on… 

The bottom line is throughout this journey time and time again 

we turned to A TIME!! 

How fortunate klal Yisroel is to have such an organization and 

resource. 

Dear Chaya, Vivienne and the entire staff of A TIME, 

THANK YOU! The meals for Shabbos, the assistance 

with the hotel bills, your care and time, your suggestions and ideas, 

and your chizuk were all so appreciated! You made the treatment 

so much easier! Tizku Lemitzvos. May you be benched with gezunt, 

simchos, nachas, bracha, hatzlocha and kol tuv! 

HS 

LF 

To the wonderful staff of A TIME: 

We just wanted to share with you our wonderful news: In 

February of 2008, I gave birth to twins (girl & boy) after 5 ½ 

years of marriage! 

During those years of infertility, as we went for treatments and experienced 

those ups and downs, we always knew that we had A TIME 

to lean on. 

Your magazines are so special, so beautiful, and so inspiring. I awaited 

their arrival with great anticipation and read them (and sometimes 

reread them) from cover to cover. When my younger sister-in-law gave 

birth before us, I opened an old magazine on the topic and found article 

that gave me so much chizuk. I really admire you, Miriam Lieberman. 

Your warmth & embracing heart comes through in all your editorials. 

Your wholesomeness and love of nature and beauty are so refreshing! 

We attended our first Shabbaton two years ago at Ocean Plaza Resort. 

We were so awed! We really felt “part of an elite club,” as Brany says. 

All those details; the welcome package, newspapers, amazing food, entertainment, 

workshops, inspiring speeches…We reminisced about the 

Shabbaton all year long. We listened to those CDs over and over again. 

The inspiration and fun really carried us along. 

My husband came to the Shabbaton with a couple of friends. I got 

to know their wives and developed such close relationships with them. 

One of them remains one of my closest friends today! 

For a while it felt like we had a lot of people who were “all in it together.” 

When BH many of them had a yeshua, I suddenly felt so lost 

and alone. As everyone was moving on, it seemed like our case was getting 

more complicated. One morning I was feeling very down. The tears 

just wouldn’t stop flowing and I had to leave work. I tried to call the 

helpline and was waiting for a call back. In the meantime I tried some 

non-Jewish helpline that supposedly offered support. Nothing doing. 

I hung up feeling uncomforted. Later when I spoke to Vivienne, the 

contrast was so stark. She empathized, validated and encouraged me. 

Every time I spoke to Vivienne thereafter, whether for info, or to 

help arrange a hotel…she was always so warm, so loving, and so supportive. 

Thank you Vivienne! There is something in your voice that is 

so soothing! When I compared the two calls, all I could say is Mi Ke’amcha 

Yisroel!!! 

The women who did hashgacha for us at RMA of NY were so special. 

They were discreet and really put us at ease. 

BH when we got the positive pregnancy test we were so excited! 

We finally reached our dream. At the same time, I felt the emotional 

transition to be challenging. I remember crying and thinking, “so if not 

for ATIME, who will support us now?” 

You really meant so much to me. I’ve had numerous dreams of 

being at ATIME functions, speeches, or Shabbatons. BH Hashem 

blessed us. BH we’re not invited anymore, but just know that you’re 

embedded in my heart. 

As we experience the joys of being Totti and Mommy, we know 

that you are truly messengers of Hashem. Your love, support, and information 

carried us through till these joyous times of parenthood. 

With heartfelt gratitude, 

SRW 

Dear Chany, 

Thank you so much for making sure that I had proper 

hashgacha for the retrieval and transfer! I forgot to keep 

calling and you made sure to be in touch with me… I apologize for 

my negligence; I appreciate your involvement. Your patience, care 

and concern, your soft spoken words and understanding, made the 

treatment more pleasant. Thank You! 

FL 

8

Dear A TIME, 

I sit alone, although many are around me 

My lips smile, my heart tries to follow 

The conversation flows around the table 

I listen, and dare to dream 

That in the near future, I will be the one 

To recount with nachas, 

Words from a sweet toddler 

One I can call my own. 

My eyes are open 

Yet they don’t see those nearby 

Only distant times and faraway places 

Once again I have a vision 

Of my hands cradling 

And my heart giving love 

An image that gives me chizuk 

To continue swimming 

In a storming sea, whose port is out of sight. 

A friend smiles to me from across the table 

She understands, her heart too, is longing 

Her eyes express words of encouragement 

Words that embrace my heart 

Another powerful wave is on the horizon 

We hold hands, duck our heads 

And my friend declares 

“Let us brave this challenge together” 

And now I am no longer alone. 

J.H. 


9 

Cristina Matera, MD 

Maureen O’Brien Moomjy, MD 

Jessica Rosenberg Brown, MD 

50 East 77th Street 

New York, NY 10075 

161 Fort Washington Avenue 


T: 212.639.9122 F: 212.639.9413 

madisonwomenshealthandfertility.com

Chizuk 

Making the Impossible... 

Possible 

By Rabbi Yechiel Spero 


When we examine the word Chanukah, we discover 

many secrets which help us understand 

this Yom Tov. A well-knows observation teaches that 

Chanukah stands for “chanu chaf heh,” “They rested on the 

25th.” This refers to the fact that, after a battle with the 

Yevanim (Greeks), the Chashmona’im were victorious, and 

this is why we celebrate. However, we will find that there are 

other messages to be found within the word “Chanukah.” 

Some find within the term Chanukah two words – chein 

and koh. The term chein means “grace” or “favour.” When we 

speak of finding chein, favour, in someone’s eyes, this implies 

that the individual has not done anything to actually merit 

the favour. We find such a concept in the story of Noach 

about whom it is said, Matza chein be’einei Hashem, “He 

found favour in the eyes of the Al-mighty.” In Yiddish we also 

use this expression when we refer to someone as being 

ba’cheint. That is, they possess a certain charm which makes 

them quite likeable. 

On the other hand, when the term koh is mentioned in 

the Torah it implies that one has gone beyond their natural 

capabilities. We find that Avrohom tells Eliezer to remain behind 

in the story of Akeidas Yitzchok. Va’ani ve’hanaar nelcha 

ad koh, “While I and the lad will go until ‘there’.” The Meforshim 

explain that in essence Avrohom is stating that we are 

going to attempt to reach the levels that are seemingly unattainable. 

Who can possibly sacrifice his own child? But we 

hope – we hope to achieve greatness. We are striving and 

yearning for koh. 

Earlier, in Parshas Lech Lecho, the posuk tell us, “Va’yomer 

Hashem el Avrohom, “And Hashem says to Avrohom, ‘… 

count the stars’.” The possuk continues, “Vayomer,” “And He 

said to him,” “Koh yihiyeh zaracha,” “So too will your children 

be.” 

Rav Meir Shapiro notes that the term Va’yomer is used 

twice in the same sentence. Why the repetition? What hap- 

10


11 

They too will face seemingly insurmountable nisyonos, 

but they will preserve. 

pened in between? He answers that the Al-mighty told Avrohom 

to go outside and count the stars, even though that is 

completely beyond Avrohom’s or any other human being’s 

ability. But if the Al-mighty asked of him to do it, then Avrohom 

set out to achieve the impossible. For that is his Master’s 

request. On that the Al-mighty declared, Koh yihyeh 

zarecha, “So too will your children be.” They too will attempt 

to achieve the impossible. They too will face seemingly 

insurmountable nisyonos, but they will preserve. They 

will attempt to reach the level of koh. 

When the Kohanim bentch the nation, the instruction 

is given as “Koh sevarchu”, “So you shall bless them.” I once 

heard said in the name of Rav Moshe Sherer, zt”l, that when 

our eyes are open, we can see only a limited amount. But 

when our eyes are closed, then our vision becomes infinite. 

Thus, when a woman bentches licht she closes her eyes, 

dreaming the impossible. She asks for anything and everything 

that her mind can imagine. The same holds true for 

birchas Kohanim. When the Kohanim bentch us, we close 

our eyes and are forbidden to look at them. WE want to be 

blessed with the hopes and dreams that we thought before 

were impossible to achieve. The Kohanim bless us and we 

“keep our eyes closed,” dreaming for the impossible to happen, 

hoping for Hashem to make our dreams come true. 

Isn’t it remarkable that the prayer we daven for when the 

Kohanim are singing is one about our dreams? What more 

appropriate time could there be for our dreams to be realized 

and interpreted for the best?! 

This is the essence of Chanukah. It is a fine balance between 

the two. On the one hand the Yidden were not simply 

handed a miracle. We fought valiantly to overcome 

enormous odds to defeat the Hellenistic forces. We stood 

by our convictions, desperately tying not to fall into the 

trap which so many Misyavnim fell into. In esoteric terms, 

there was an isarusa de’lasata, an awakening from below. 

This was the koh. But it was only because we were given 

the opportunity. Hashem loved us – we did nothing to derive 

the victory. The vast majority of the Jews had assimilated 

with the Yevanim, but we were lifted up and given 

the chance to achieve the impossible. The isarusa de’le’aila, 

awakening from Above, enabled it to happen. 

This can be better explained by a beautify story about 

the great Reb Dovid of Tolna. It was moments before lighting 

of the Chanukah menorah and the Chassidim gathered 

around Reb Dovid. They waited and waited for him to 

begin lighting but nothing was happening. Suddenly the 

Rebbe called over Moshe, a young man who was clearly the 

tallest of his Chassidim. Reb Dovid asked Moshe, “How is it 

possible for you to kiss your little child? You are so tall and 

he is so small!” Moshe explained that eh merely bends all 

the way down and his child stands on his tiptoes. 

Reb Dovid smiled and then lit the menorah. Later he 

told his puzzled Chassidim what that simple conversation 

had to do wit the lighting of the menorah. He explained 

that the Al-might is very great and tall and we are very 

small. But because He loves us so very much, He bends all 

the way down and we stand on our tiptoes and He then 

gives us a kiss. 

The same can be said about the Yom Tov of Chanukah. 

We were in a sorry state, so very small, lost in a sea of assimilation. 

We then stood on our toes, reached deep down 

inside of our neshamos and found the koh hidden inside. 

Seeing our efforts, the Al-mighty saw how very ba’cheint we 

are. He bent all the way down and lifted us up to victory. That 

combination of chein and koh is what enables us to feel this 

“Kiss of Heaven.” 

May we only merit to continue to feel it throughout our 

lives.

Chizuk 

The G-D Factor 

By Sara Rigler 


your age have a 5% chance of becoming 

pregnant using In Vitro Fertiliza- 

“Women 

tion,” Dr. C. was telling me as I sat opposite her in a leading 

Israeli I.V.F. clinic. I was 45 years old and, since the birth of 

my first child at the age of 40, had been trying to conceive a 

second baby using every spiritual, medical, and alternative 

means available. Dr. C. continued, “Of those 5%, only half 

carry through to term and deliver a live baby. Thus, you have 

2.5% chance of succeeding.” 

I stared at the good doctor. I was thinking: “God runs the 

world. If God wants me to have a second child, I will. And if 

God doesn’t want, I won’t. It’s my job to exert maximum effort, 

which I.V.F. is. Whether or not I succeed is up to God.” 

To Dr. C. I said: “In any case, I would like to try.” 

The first time I did IVF, I failed. The clinic offered two tries 

for the same price. I tried again. This involved getting two 

shots of powerful fertility drugs every day for two weeks in 

order to generate as many eggs as possible; a minimum of 

three eggs was required to continue with the process. Then 

the doctor would surgically extract the eggs from the ovary, 

fertilize them, and reinsert them into the womb. 

The day before my scheduled extraction, I had an ultrasound 

to determine the number of eggs. The ultrasound 

doctor informed me sadly that I had only two eggs, not 

enough to even bother with the extraction. After all the effort, 

the drugs, the cost … Tearfully, I begged him to fudge 

the results and write that there were three eggs. “If God 

wants me to get pregnant,” I thought, “He can do it with just 

12


13 

My non-religious doctor looked me straight in the eye 

and uttered a single word: “Pray.” 

two eggs.” The ultrasound doctor consented. 

When Dr. C. performed the extraction the next day, she 

found only one egg. 

My chances of success slid from 2.5% to zilch. 

Since I was already on the operating table, Dr. C. humored 

me. She extracted and fertilized the single egg. Two days 

later, as she reinserted it, my non-religious doctor looked me 

straight in the eye and uttered a single word: “Pray.” I prayed 

and cried and made a vow to God. Two weeks later, I got a 

positive pregnancy test. 

The next day I saw Dr. C. in the clinic. I was jubilant. She 

was skeptical. Ever the meticulous scientist, she knew that a 

woman can’t get pregnant with IVF using only one egg. “I’ll 

believe you’re pregnant,” she told me, “when I see an ultrasound 

with a heartbeat.” 

Three weeks later I ecstatically waved in front of her an 

ultrasound with a heartbeat. 

At the end of nine months, at the age of 46, I gave birth 

to a healthy baby boy, may he live and be well, b’li ayin hara. 

Experts And Predictions 

Ever since Sept. 11, my email has been full of predictions 

by experts regarding every possible aspect of war, bio-terror, 

and chemical warfare: 

How many Americans would die in a smallpox epidemic 

launched by bio-terrorists. 

What percentage of Israelis would survive if Saddam Hussein 

hit us with chemical warheads loaded with VX, an advanced 

chemical agent? 

Why it is impossible to win a war in the rough terrain of 

Afghanistan – this before America’s allies ousted the Taliban. 

All of these predictions, however, leave out one factor, 

which is the most crucial factor: God runs the world. Any 

equation which does not take into account the God factor 

is bound to come up with the wrong conclusion. 

In 1967, as Egypt’s Gamal Abdul Nasser was proclaiming 

the imminent destruction of the State of Israel, both political 

pundits and military strategists predicted Israel’s defeat. The 

figures were formidable. The 19-year-old state was up 

against the impending combined attack of Egypt, Syria, Jordan, 

and Iraq. The four Arab armies together boasted 810 

airplanes against Israel’s 350; 2,880 tanks against Israel’s 800; 

and 465,000 troops against Israel’s 265,000. So convinced 

were the Israelis themselves of an inevitable blood bath that 

the Rabbinate officially designated all of Jerusalem’s parks as 

cemeteries. 

Apparently, God had a different idea. Instead of defeat, 

Israel experienced a surprise victory. In just six days, Israel 

not only pushed back the Arab forces, but recaptured all of 

the major Jewish holy sites, including the Temple Mount, the 

Western Wall, the Cave of the Patriarchs in Hebron, and the 

Tomb of Rachel in Bethlehem. The experts were left stammering. 

My cousin Phil is a retired corporate executive, a 

highly intelligent, savvy pragmatist who keeps himself wellinformed 

and draws clear-headed conclusions from the facts. 

In the 1980s, he predicted that the State of Israel would cease 

to exist by the year 2013. At first, this doomsday forecast 

was based on the demographic threat: the Arab birthrate on 

both sides of the Green Line was staggeringly greater than 

the Jewish birthrate. The numbers were incontestable; by 

2013 the Jewish state would have a majority of Arab inhabitants. 

Barring the God factor, that is. In the Torah God clearly 

states His intention to bring the Jews back to Israel from the 

far corners of the earth. In 1990, the Soviet Union collapsed,

Chizuk 

The story of Chanukah comes to teach us how history can take the 

most unlikely turns and produce the most improbable victors. 


almost overnight, and through the tattered Iron Curtain 

450,000 Jews exited to Israel. Within a decade, the Jewish 

population of Israel had swelled by a booming 10%, and all 

mention of the demographic threat disappeared from the 

media. 

Now Phil, who dearly loves Israel, is convinced that we 

will commit political suicide. After the failure of Oslo and 

the near-fatal offers at Camp David, pro-Israel columnists in 

American media warned that if the U.S. and Europe continue 

to push Israel into dangerous concessions, the map of the 

Middle East which appears in Palestinian textbooks – with 

Israel totally absent – may yet prove accurate. Agreeing with 

them, Phil opines that Israel’s leaders lack the political will to 

take the steps necessary to disempower the Palestinian Authority. 

Without such blatant measures, Israel’s future is 

bleak. 

I cannot argue with Phil’s facts and figures, but I know 

that God is not bound by them. The story of Chanukah 

comes to teach us how history can take the most unlikely 

turns and produce the most improbable victors. 

Chanukah 

What would the experts of 167 B.C.E. have said about the 

chances of the old priest Mattathias and his family and 

friends defeating the mighty army of the Syrian Greek empire? 

I can see their pronouncements now: 

“An ultra-Orthodox priest and his reactionary compatriots 

have raised the banner of revolt against not only the prevailing 

rule of the Seleucid Empire, but also against all of 

modern Greek culture and enlightenment. This motley band 

of guerrilla fighters is outnumbered more than 4-1 by the Seleucid 

army, which boasts some 40,000 professional troops 

equipped with the cutting edge of military technology, as 

well as the ultimate weapon – a herd of elephants trained 

for battle, against which no warriors can stand. 

“The Maccabees, as this reactionary rebel force is called, 

are opposed not only by the considerable Greek population 

on the coastal plain, but also by a large proportion of the 

Jewish inhabitants, who have, over the last century and a half, 

adapted to the world-wide hegemony of Greek language, 

culture, and religion. Thus, the Maccabees have initiated a 

civil war, targeted at their own progressive fellow Jews, who 

are called Hellenists. As the Hellenists comprise the wealthiest 

and influential segments of Jewish society, the effort to 

unseat them is nothing less than preposterous. 

“In short, the attempt of the Maccabees to score a military 

victory, overthrew the progressive culture which dominates 

the whole world, and re-establish their antiquated 

religion on the soil of Judea is futile.” 

The pundits would have been accurate in their analysis. 

After all, who could have predicted that three years after issuing 

his rallying cry, “Follow me, all of you who are for God’s 

law and stand by the covenant,” Mattathias’s followers would 

reconquer Jerusalem, purify the Temple of its pagan desecrations, 

and reinstitute the Temple service? Although the 

total victory was hard-won – taking over twenty years and 

costing the lives of four out of five of Mattathias’s sons, the 

Maccabees ultimately triumphed over the Greeks. 

14


So, when you go to light your Chanukah candles, instead of 

thinking you are enacting a quaint custom of Jewish tradition, 

realize that you are fulfilling a mitzvah 

15 

The prayer to God we add during the eight days of 

Chanukah emphasizes the unlikelihood of the Jewish victory: 

“You delivered the strong into the hands of the weak, the 

many into the hands of the few ….” 

Chanukah celebrates the victory of the unlikely, the improbable, 

the virtually impossible. It is the antithesis of the 

still-prevailing Greek worldview which adulates logic and the 

laws of nature as absolute. Chanukah proves that in a world 

run by God, miracles can happen. 

Maximum Effort 

Judaism forbids relying on miracles. A Jew must always 

exert maximum effort according to reason to affect desired 

results. The Maccabees did not sit back and wait for a miracle 

to happen. But neither were they cowed by the odds 

nor discouraged by daunting prospects. 

The rule of thumb in Jewish history has always been that 

when we are threatened spiritually, as we were by the Greeks, 

who wanted to exterminate our religion, not our lives, we 

fight back physically, as the Maccabees did. And when we 

are threatened physically, as we were during the events leading 

up to Purim, when Haman wanted to exterminate every 

Jew, we fight back spiritually, just as the Jews of Shushan, at 

Mordechai’s and Esther’s behest did tshuva. Since we are 

today threatened physically, we must – in addition to the Israeli 

army’s self-defensive measures – fight back spiritually. 

The spears of the Maccabees are the mitzvot of today. Every 

time a Jew commits to keeping Shabbat or reaches out in 

friendship to a Jew of a different stripe, a spiritual force is produced 

which could cause a terrorist bomb placed on a 

Jerusalem street to fail to detonate. (The vast majority of terrorist 

bombs in Israel miraculously fail to detonate, or blow 

up on busy thoroughfares without injuring anyone.) 

My cousin Phil accuses me of being passive. In truth, I am 

a spiritual warrior. I know that God will come through for 

Israel if I exert myself beyond my comfort zone to keep the 

mitzvot that aren’t easy for me, and if other Jews do the 

same. If I overcome my urge to take revenge against my obnoxious 

neighbor, I have launched a projectile powerful 

enough to bring down Saddam Hussein’s most deadly missiles. 

The time has come to wage a spiritual war against our enemies. 

Every mitzvah is an infinitely more powerful weapon 

than anything Bin Laden has in his arsenal. 

So, when you go to light your Chanukah candles, instead 

of thinking you are enacting a quaint custom of Jewish tradition, 

realize that you are fulfilling a mitzvah, and mitzvot 

are the spiritual antidote to whatever chemicals the bio-terrorists 

are brewing in their nefarious laboratories. God, who 

runs the world, expects us to exert maximum effort in doing 

mitzvot. 

The victory in this war, as in the Maccabean war we are 

commemorating, will come from Him. 

––––––––––––––––––––––– 

Sara Yoheved Levinsky Rigler graduated from Brandeis University 

magna cum laude. For fifteen years she practiced and 

taught Vedanta philosophy and meditation. She is the author 

of A Bridge of Dreams and Holy Woman. She presently resides 

in the Old City of Jerusalem with her husband and two children 

working as a book editor and writer.

Chizuk 

Valuable Lessons From 



In the Al-Hanisim prayer which we say on Chanukah, we 

recite the following ‘And You with Your great mercy gave 

the strong into the hands of the weak, the many into the 

hands of the few…’ Rabbi Yissachar Frand asks “Why 

doesn’t it say ‘weaker’? Why the ‘weak’” Rabbi Frand’s response 

– ‘Gymnastics and athletic pursuits were major 

elements within the religion and culture of the Greeks. 

Since Jews were forbidden to worship as the Greeks did, 

they could not participate in any form of physical exercise, 

and they were truly weak, not merely weaker”. 

After hearing the Dvar Torah, I spent some time 

thinking about it. It is most probable that recognition 

of their inherent weakness compelled the Jews to rely 

on G-d alone. It was this ‘strength’ that assured their victory. 

The Greeks, who concentrated on their body building, 

aspiring to great physical strength, lacked a 

fundamental characteristic. In their egocentric world, 

they were unable to acknowledge that there does exist 

Someone much stronger than themselves, Whom they 

should be serving. 

The Jews stood diametrically opposed to the Greeks. 

Given the circumstances, they could have absolutely no 

faith in their own physical prowess. They relied totally 

on G-d to help them. When we are placed in a situation 

where we must rely totally on Hashem, we are given a 

unique opportunity to recognize and acknowledge our 

own frailty and weakness and thus, to develop trust in 

Him. Although we must always do our share and put in 

our efforts, ultimately, we acknowledge that Hashem is 

in charge. We must pray to Hashem – not 

to our thermometers, or opks, or hpts; they are powerless. 

Rather, we must appreciate that Hashem is with 

us constantly and it is with His help alone, that we finally, 

at long last, will win our battles. 

16


17 

Golah Or Geulah 

By Rabbi Moshe Sherer/Excerpted from Season of the Soul 

In contrast to all other Yomim Tovim where there is a specific 

mitzvah of Simcha, a command to rejoice, we find no such mitzvah 

with regard to Chanukah. Should not the victories and miracles 

of Chanukah also be marked with the same degree of joy 

as in all other holidays? 

A great Rabbi once game this explanation. The battle of 

Chanukah, although blessed with temporary victory in the days 

of the Chashmonaim, never really ended. It continues to this 

very day. It was essentially a struggle against the forces that they 

had set as their goal Lehashkicham Torasecha U’lehaviram 

Mechukei Retzonecha – to make the Torah a museum – piece 

and to assimilate the Jewish masses by subterfuge and internal 

subversion. This battle to confuse and betray true Judaism still 

rages in our times. While engulfed in the smoke of battle, one 

does not pause to rejoice. In such a continuing crisis, one must 

concentrate with greater vigor towards the Geulah goal; total 

Torah commitment must replace tokenism; complete consecration 

must replace crippling compromise.

Chizuk 

The Essence 

of Chanukah 

By Estie Perlman 


The Talmud relates a tragic occurrence that happened 

in approximately 30 BCE (3728). The last princess of 

the famous Chashmonaim family committed suicide rather 

than become the wife of King Herod, the tyrannical despot 

of the Jewish nation. After her death, no longer could anyone 

claim to be a descendent of the Chashmonaim. How 

could such a calamity befall a family that had been so instrumental 

in saving our people from the Greek oppression? 

The Ramban refers to Matisyahu and his family as pious 

people of highest order. Yet they made one fatal mistake. 

Our forefather Yaakov bequeathed the rights of monarchy 

to the tribe of Yehudah when he blessed his twelve sons; 

“The scepter shall not depart from Yehudah.” The grandchildren 

of Matisyahu transgressed this directive by assuming 

the role of the king and subsequently were severely 

punished with extermination. 

Furthermore, Matisyahu and his descendents were 

priests and they were obligated to attend to their duties in 

the temple. They forsook their actual responsibilities by becoming 

involved in activities extraneous to their purpose as 

priests when they undertook the mantle of kingdom. 

Everyone is charged with a certain objective in life, an 

objective that is fundamental to the purpose of his or her 

unique soul. We must each learn to build upon our personal 

foundation and not seek foreign approaches to enhance our 

relationship with Hashem. 

Perhaps the very mitzvah of Chanukah alludes to this 

concept. The essence of the mitzvah is to kindle one candle 

per household each night. However, the Sages instituted 

that we should enhance the basic fulfillment of this mitzvah 

by adding an extra candle each night and also including 

other members of the household in this illuminating mitzvah 

with each person lighting his or her own menorah. 

By each person kindling his own distinctive light in life, 

the Chanukah menorah instructs one to strengthen and establish 

his persona utilizing his skills and capabilities, not 

seeking fulfillment in areas of achievement alien to his 

propensity. 

The K’sav Sofer explains that Yaakov’s blessings to his 

18


19 

children were not to create new talents not already existing. 

Rather, the blessing was that they should develop their inner 

strength and proficiencies to realize their potential in life 

both as individuals and as the future building blocks of the 

Jewish Nation. The Chashmonaim sacrificed their lives to 

preserve the integrity of the traditions, ultimately suffering 

the tragic calamity that befall their noble family. We must 

recognize their flaw, as well as their greatness, and endeavor 

to maintain our religious ideals in their most pristine form. 

Sparks of Torah by R’ Dovid Nussbaum 

We are now in the month of Kislev, the time that 

Hashem performed miracles of our popele on 

the 25th of Kislev in the time of the Chashmonaim. It is a 

“mazeldike” month in which we have the extra zechus to 

receive miracles from Hashem-for individuals, for families 

and for our people. 

Every Yom Tov reveals an aspect which re-occurs each 

year and spiritually manifests itself again, as it did the first 

time when it actually occurred and was experienced, but 

not in the same original way. In other words, the potential 

for miracles that occurred on the first Chanukah, can manifest 

itself in other forms on Chanukah, this year and every 

year. 

So let’s take advantage of this phenomena and tap into 

the potential of bringing on miracles. Chanukah is a time 

we can beseech Hashem to give us what seems beyond 

Tevah. Remember, the laws of nature do not govern a Jew. 

Hashem controls and directs whatever occurs. There is no 

power besides him. This truth is clearly illustrated by the 

miracles of Chanukah. 

BY Reb. Phyllis Weinberg A”H 

AAlthough the history of Chanukah commemorates 

a later event in the Jewish history and is not Biblical 

origin, its spiritual message is particularly important. 

Chanukah mark the rededication of the Temple after the 

stunning military triumph of the Maccabeans, and we celebrate 

Chanukah not by the commemoration of the military 

conquest, but rather by lighting the Chanukah candles, 

to remind us of the miracle of the oil, whereby one day’s 

supply lit brightly for eight days. The priority given to the 

miracle of oil over the miraculous triumph of a mere handful 

of inadequately supplied warriors against the overwhelmingly 

superior forces of the Syrian army indicates 

where the emphasis of Judaism lies. As Scripture says, “Not 

by might and not by force, but by spirit, said Hashem” 

(Zechariah 4; 6). The military triumph is mentioned in our 

prayers only to express our gratitude to Hashem for this miracle, 

but the message of Chanukah that was intended for 

posterity was that of the oil. 

We might ask: Why is it the miracle of Chanukah is perpetuated 

in an annual celebration, while such marvelous occurrences 

such as Joshua’s stopping the sun and moon into 

their orbits (Joshua 10; 13) are not commemorated? The 

answer is that we commemorate only those miracles, which 

convey a message that is oaf practical value of today. Miracles 

that are of historical significance only, regardless how 

Remember, the laws of nature do not govern a Jew. 

Hashem controls and directs whatever occurs.

Chizuk 

We often create difficulties for ourselves when we try to 

deal with tomorrow’s problems today. 


great, are not celebrated. The message of the miracle of the 

oil has many implications. Firstly, it conveys the concept 

of the menorah, a service that we emulate on Shabbos 

and Yom Tov by lighting candles. If one lights a candle 

oneself, one makes the room brighter fro everyone else. 

If one lights a candle for another person, one benefits 

from the light as well. Lighting the candles remind us that 

no one is an island, We are all in this world together, and 

no one can stand alone, 

Secondly, the episode of the menorah characterizes 

the resolve of the Maccabeans, a principle that should 

guide us throughout our lives. When the Temple was liberated, 

all the vials of oil had been rendered unfit for the 

menorah because they had been defiled by use in pagan 

rights. A single vial was found that was untouched, but it 

could last for only one day, whereas it would be eight days 

before a fresh supply of oil could be procured. 

No doubt that there were some who were resigned ti 

using defiled oil, arguing that it was futile to insist on 

using the single vial of uncontaminated oil, since the 

other oils would have to be used eventually. Better judgment 

prevailed, however, and it was decided to do the 

best one can do today, and to leave tomorrow’s worries 

for tomorrow. The Maccabeans championed the concept 

on “One day at a time,” and it was the message that the 

Sages of the Sanhedrin wish to perpetuate. 

We often create difficulties for ourselves when we try 

to deal with tomorrow’s problems today. There are many 

times when we must do things to prepare for the future, 

but this is appropriate only when our doing something 

today is constructive. Too often we worry about problems 

about which we can do nothing, and we anticipate the 

worst when it is just as likely that the best will occur. For 

such situations the message of Chanukah serves as a true 

beacon of light. “Do your very utmost with what you 

have, and pray for Divine help for whatever is beyond 

your ability to control.” 

Chanukah is a very spiritual holiday, and appropriately 

enough, we celebrate it by beginning with one light on 

the first day, and adding to it each day. This is the way 

spirituality should develop. We may begin with just a small 

nucleus of brightness, but we must add to it each day of our 

lives. 

Bondage of Freedom by Rabbi A. J. Twerski 

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Chizuk 

Message of Hope 

From The Eighth 


Light 

By Gitti Goldstein 


Iwas fashioned carefully by an honest, hardworking 

smithy, along with seven others just like me. He worked 

hard and long until we each looked no different than the 

other. Finally he attaches us one by one to a main stem. 

Truly, we are a work of art. My place is to the far left at the 

very end. The smithy inspects us carefully and then lovingly 

places us into a box and off we go. 

Before I know it, I am blinded by a brilliant sunlight. 

Warm fingers gently run over our surface while a pair of 

brown eyes studies each of us carefully. The man seems 

pleased. Some money changes hands and once again we are 

off, this time to a beautiful home. We are placed on a windowsill 

facing a busy thoroughfare. We wait in anticipation. 

What next? We do not have long to wait. At nightfall those 

same brown eyes looked lovingly at us and again those gentle, 

warm fingers run over our surface. The man busies himself, 

rolling some cotton and pouring oil into my friend’s cup 

at the far right. Children run about and there is excitement 

in the air. I feel so content and happy. I wait in eager anticipation 

for my cup to fill. Instead I only hear voices chanting 

and singing. I am patient. Maybe after this part of the ceremony 

he will continue plying the cotton. 

I realize the sad truth when the voices die down and the 

footsteps fade in the distance. We are left alone in the dark 

22


23 

We are left alone in the dark room, shadows from the 

lone flame dancing eerily into the night. “What about 

me?!” I silently beg in my misery. 

room, shadows from the lone flame dancing eerily into the 

night. “What about me?!” I silently beg in my misery. I know 

there are six others sharing my fate but that doesn’t help or 

console me. 

Morning dawns and the day passes without action. My 

life stretches unbearably before me with no respite in sight. 

But, what is this I hear? Familiar voices, the same warm 

touch, those brown eyes. Oh, salvation has come! I can see 

him plying the cotton, one, and then another and then 

surely he will do more. The two cups at the far right are filled 

with cotton and then some oil. There is singing and then 

the sad reality that once again I am not to be lit. The other 

five branches sharing my fate seem strong and silent but I 

cannot relax. The next evening, number three at the right 

is also kindled and the other branches follow as the days 

pass. I notice the routine; evening time is kindling time. Each 

time I hope for my turn to come and I am repeatedly disappointed. 

Now it is only branch number seven and myself left. 

Evening comes around and I wait with trepidation as the 

man rolls the cotton. I count as he does each one. He stops 

after seven. Surely the kind man would not forget me 

tonight. Surely he will put an end to my unbearable wait. I 

hold my breath as I watch. One by one a length of cotton is 

placed into my fellow branches. The suspense is almost too 

much to bear. Would tonight be the night? I stare aghast as 

he stops one short of my branch and then starts pouring 

the oil. Couldn’t he have taken the time to make just one 

more wick? Would my salvation ever come? How can I bear 

the shame all alone? 

Engulfed in my misery I barely hear their beautiful songs 

as they watch the flames. I feel shame and envy. Outside, 

passerby stopped briefly to look. Surely they are seeing my 

emptiness. How I wish I could break away from the stem 

and hide. The seven flames dance happily together as I look 

enviously on. 

Before long a new day dawns, but for me all seems dark. 

When evening comes, I turn back to the man as he busies 

himself with the ritual I have become familiar with. Better 

not to look and save myself the agony, I think bitterly. I hear 

childish voices mingling with the sounds of preparation. 

Nothing matters anymore. Wait! What is this I feel? A warm 

touch, a swirl of cotton tickling my cup… Could it be? I dare 

myself to look and there it is neatly in my cup, the cotton 

and the golden oil. It doesn’t take long before my flame is 

lit and I realize that my salvation has finally come. This night 

the kind man and his family sing and dance with us longer 

than any other night. Now, as passerby stop at our window, 

they look even longer at our display, “How beautiful you 

look,” their eyes seem to be saying to us. “Now you look 

complete with all your flames burning.” 

And I know that it is my flame which makes it so. 

We are proudly proclaiming in unison that Hashem is 

our Savior and for each Jew who is waiting, a light will surely 

soon be lit!

Chizuk 

Chanukah: 

Flickers of Faith 

By Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky/From Parsha Parables 


Under the gleeful eye of innocents, it twirls upon the 

floor. Its headless neck points upwards and after a 

few moments, in a drunken hobble, it begins to teeter. Each 

of its four sides bears a distinct message, which, unless read 

in its entirety, is meaningless. “Nes gadol hoya shom – A 

great miracle happened there.” Each side of the dreidel contains 

only a part of this message, yet lying on its side only 

one letter appears. Still, the children understand. 

A spinning dreidel and a nation in turmoil. It seems that 

the whole story of Chanukah is embodied in that spinning 

dreidel. After all, the tale of triumph that accompanies the 

holiday seems a strange victory. True, the Hasmoneans defeated 

the Syrians and returned to the Temple. But, the nation 

was in turmoil. The Kohanim had displaced the tribe 

of Judah as the kings and leaders of Israel. There were still 

pockets of Hellenist influence that impacted upon the 

24


25 

It tells us that although when the dreidel falls we may only 

see one side, nevertheless, there are more victories than 

meet the eye. 

sanctity of Jerusalem. Bribes were offered for the position 

of High Priesthood. Yet we still celebrate. Why? 

Why would the sages have future generations commemorate 

an event that has so many ends left untied? 

Yaffa Eliach in “Chassidic Tales of the Holocaust,” relates 

the following story. During World War Two, from the shadows 

of destitution, a small light emerged. In the freezing 

air of Bergen-Belsen, a small group of prisoners gathered 

around the Bulzhever Rebbe. With a shoe clog as a menorah, 

the poor souls stood in the valley of death, assembled 

to see their beloved Rebbe about to perform the mitzvah 

of lighting. The lookout shuffled nervously as the Rebbe 

swayed with a small fire in hand. He began to recite the 

blessings. “Blessed art Thou, Creator of the Universe, Who 

has commanded us to light the Chanukah candles.” The 

Rebbe recited the second blessing and then stopped. He 

looked toward two other Rabbis who stood not far from 

the piles of Jewish corpses and pursed his lips pensively. 

Noticing the group of bewildered yet faithful Jews who 

were eagerly anticipating the lighting, he continued with 

the final blessing. 

“Blessed art Though, Creator of the Universe, Who has 

kept us and sustained us, and brought us to this day.” 

After the lighting, one of the leaders of the Warsaw 

Bund approached the Bluzhever Rebbe, Rabbi Spira. 

“Spira,” the man said scornfully, “I understand that you 

felt compelled to light the menorah – even here at Bergen- 

Belsen. I even understand the first two blessings. But how 

in Heavens name can you praise the L-rd for “keeping us 

alive to this day?” 

“The truth is, you are right,” answered the Rebbe. 

“When I recited the third blessing, I actually hesitated and 

asked myself that question. I turned my head to ask the 

other Rabbis standing near me if I should recite it, and then 

I noticed something remarkable.” 

“Despite the death and destruction wreaking havoc on 

every fiber of our existence, there was still a throng of Jews 

waiting enthusiastically to perform the mitzvah. It is for 

that sight that I bless Hashem for sustaining me until this 

day.” 

Chanukah is encapsulated in that incident. The small 

amount of pure oil found in the Holy Temple was only a 

meagre manifestation of our victory, yet its significance 

transcends quantity. Chanukah, set in the dead of winter, 

when the night is the longest and the sun shines least, gives 

us the inspiration to go on. 

It tells us that we may only see a small part of the victory 

to come, but we must revel even in its tiniest part. It tells 

us that although when the dreidel falls we may only see one 

side, nevertheless, there are more victories than meet the 

eye. 

If we celebrate the drops of oil that can last only a fleeting 

moment, one day we will celebrate the glow of the Ner 

Tamid (Eternal Light) in the Beis Hamikdash (Holy Temple).

Chizuk 

Reflections 

on Chanukah 

SEASONS OF THE SOUL /Mesorah Press 


The springtime, summer and autumn of the Jewish nation 

are in Pesach, Shavous, Succos. The winter of its 

suffering and the oppressive heat of its defeats are preserved 

in the Four Fast Days. And its triumphs over tyrannical 

circumstances are found in the solstice of 

Chanukah, and the heady blossoming of the Purim victory. 

Indeed, as we continue to endure the Galus (Diaspora), 

this frigid winter of our peoplehood, we may find 

greater affinity with the Galus festivals, and find them 

more conducive to incisive comment. But even Pesach, 

the festival of liberation, has its Yom Tov Sheini shel Galus 

– its second day of rabbinic origin, celebrated only in the 

Diaspora. It is our task to heighten our sensitivity to all 

the special days and their sacred emanations. 

It was the practice of Rabbi Nachum of Chernobyl to 

light candles in his Chanukah menorah. “But Rebbe,” one 

of the Chasidim questions, “don’t many authorities consider 

olive oil preferable for the menorah?” “Yes,” the 

Rebbe replied. “But after a candle has burned out,” he 

added, pointing to the drippings on his window sill, “it 

leaves an impression.” 

With the flames of all festivals and fast days – some 

leaping high, some flickering, some burning low – 

shadow may abound, obstacle obstruct; but after they 

have passed, the impressions are still there. 

26


27 

While even our best and most sincere efforts do not necessarily 

bring about miracles, the teaching is nevertheless valid. 

FROM OUR PRAYERS 

An excerpt from “Growing each day – Kislev” by Rabbi A.J. Twersky 

They established these eight days of Chanukah to give 

thanks and praise to Your great Name (Al Hanisim). 

Jewish history is replete with miracles that transcend 

the miracle of the Menorah. Why is the latter so prominently 

celebrated while the others are relegated to relative 

obscurity? 

Perhaps the reason is that most other miracles were 

Divinely initiated; i.e. G-d intervened to suspend the laws 

of nature in order to save His people from calamity. 

The miracle of the Menorah was something different. 

Having defeated the Seleucid Greek invaders, the triumphant 

Jews entered the Sanctuary. There they found 

that they could light the Menorah for only one day, due to 

lack of undefiled oil. Further, they had no chance of replenishing 

the supply for eight days. They did light the Menorah 

anyway, reasoning that it was the best way to do what was 

within their ability to do and to postpone worrying about 

the next day until such worry was appropriate. This decision 

elicited a Divine response and the Menorah stayed lit 

for that day and for seven more. 

This miracle was thus initiated by the Jews themselves, 

and the incident was set down as a teaching for all future 

generations: Concentrate your efforts on what you can do 

and do it! Leave the rest to G-d. 

While even our best and most sincere efforts do not 

necessarily bring about miracles, the teaching is nevertheless 

valid. Even the likelihood of failure in the future should 

not discourage us from any constructive action that we can 

take now.

Chizuk 

The Age 

of Illumination 

Some Thoughts and Introspection 

on the Nature of the Chanukah Lights 

Rabbi Avrohom Chaim Feuer 

– Reprinted from Seasons of the Soul, Mesorah Publications 

in conjunction with Agudath Israel of America. 


Our progressive age, by virtue of its countless advances 

and discoveries, has been endowed with 

a great variety of names: the Space Age, the Atomic Age, 

the Jet Age – to name but a few. May we suggest yet another 

descriptive label: the Age of Illumination. 

For many, many centuries man was actually halfblinded. 

Daylight allowed his curious eyes the liberty of 

roaming at will, but come night, man’s free vision was limited 

by a blinding darkness. Candles, oil and wood fires 

were among the only means of dispersing the enveloping 

gloom. These were costly, hazardous, steady, malodorous, 

dim, short-lived, or all of these. In those days, wax meant 

wealth, and adequate light was a luxury reserved for the 

privileged. Many a mastermind developed, and many a 

masterpiece was painstakingly created by the meager light 

of pale moonbeams. 

Only recently – barely a hundred years have elapsed 

since the invention of the light bulb – did the genius of a 

man transform the bleak situation. Today, mankind’s blindness 

is banished by billions of powerful and enduring bulbs. 

28


29 

Those who have experienced the inner glow know that its 

radiance is very real, very meaningful… it comes in flashes 

of truth and self knowledge. 

Artificial light has become so economically feasible that 

even the poorest can afford to squander it. Everything 

glows in the Age of Illumination. 

One tends to take the abundance of light for granted, 

for even if one were to seriously evaluate the impact of light 

in its bountiful supply on the lifestyle of modern man, it 

would probably be measured in terms of convenience. In 

truth, universal illumination is far more than a pleasant 

fringe benefit of modern technology. It is a phenomenon 

that has a profound effect on the mentality of today’s man. 

The genie of the lamp has indeed performed a wondrous 

magical feat in which it has altered the nature of man decisively. 

Modern man is under constant distraction. Endless illumination 

has given him the opportunity to become intensely 

aware of his surroundings. A result of this is an 

absorbing fascination with the world around him, accompanied 

by oblivion to the complex cosmos within him. 

Modern man is pitifully neglected, for while he has scrutinized, 

analyzed and categorized every fragment of his environment, 

he has ignored himself. Modern man suffers a 

self-imposed loneliness. 

Early man, the man in the dark, was sheltered from a 

great many distractions. The absence of technological sophistication 

was a handicap, but it brought rewards in 

other ways. Deprived of the ability to view the world without, 

man in the dark was afforded the opportunity and incentive 

to focus his undivided attention on the world 

within. In the unlit hours he had nothing else to do but 

think, and so he thought for himself and developed his own 

unique identify and opinion. He was not condemned to endure 

the pains of loneliness, but rather was blessed with 

the rich pleasures of solitude. 

Finding the Light of Man’s Soul 

If one would look deeply enough into the dark one will 

see the light. It is the inner light, the soul of man. 

“The candle of the L-rd is the soul of man, exploring all 

of the inner chambers” (Mishlei 20:27). 

This is not meant as fanciful poetry or empty words. 

Those who have experienced the inner glow know that its 

radiance is very real, very meaningful… it comes in flashes 

of truth and self-knowledge. And it is indeed a very splendid 

thing. 

Our codifiers also recognize the validity of flashes in the 

dark. The Rambam teaches (Hilchos Talmud Torah) that 

although one is obligated to study the Torah at all times, 

the major portion of a person’s wisdom is acquired in the 

still of the night. Torah study is among other things, an exercise 

in self-discovery and improvement, and it should be 

studied in undisturbed nocturnal atmosphere. This inner 

light is very sensitive and must be carefully preserved: “A 

hasty step reduces the light of a person’s eyes… this light 

may be regained at the Kiddush” (Shabbos 113a). 

The man who is engrossed in the frantic pursuit of all 

that he sees around him is doomed to lose sight of the candle 

that burns within him. Only the serene sanctity of the 

Shabbos, its tranquil cessation of activity and hot pursuit, 

can restore to man his awareness of the precious inner light 

of his vision and his soul. 

There is yet another period in the Sabbath day that is 

especially suited for regaining the awareness of the inner 

light. 

“One hour of repentance and good deeds in this world 

is more precious than all of the World to Come” (Avos 

4:22). The Rebbe of Kotzk explained: “This refers to the very

Chizuk 

One may wonder-if it was destined for concealment why did G-d 

ever create this advanced form of light? 


last hour of the Shabbos when all of the feeble candles have 

long died out. In the grip of the inescapable darkness one 

is finally confronted with the grim reality of one’s self. The 

man who knows himself cannot fail to repent.” 

Anyone who has partaken of a shalosh seudos meal 

without artificial lighting – in a twilight fading into an enveloping 

blackness – has also experienced the pinpointing 

stab of inner light that the Kotzker Rebbe describes. 

The Light of Thirty-Six 

No Jewish holiday so lends itself to the challenges of the 

Age of Illumination as does the holiday of Chanukah, the 

festival of lights. If in doubt as to which lights are being celebrated, 

the outer or the inner – one need only to consult 

our sacred literature and find that these eight days are dedicated 

specifically to these latter lights, the internal illumination 

that brightens the soul. 

The Rokeah, Rabbi Eliezer of Worms, a noted medieval 

scholar and authority, pointed out that a total of thirty-six 

candles are lit on the eight days of Chanukah. This corresponds 

to the first thirty-six hours of creation when a special 

unearthly radiance lit the universe. The spiritual light 

was quite different form any light we know now. But its potency 

was too intense to serve man’s everyday, earthly 

needs and G-d hid it from view. Yet that light still exists – 

in the Torah. And it is for this reason that the Aramaic term 

for Torah is Oraisa – source of light. 

One may wonder – if it was destined for concealment 

why did G-d ever create this advanced form of light? The 

answer to this is classically Jewish – better a hidden light 

than no light at all, for even though it was hidden, the light 

does exist and can be revealed to anyone who sincerely 

strives to find it. Those few who have succeeded in perceiving 

this light are the legendary lamed-vavniks, the thirtysix 

righteous men concealed from recognition in every generation. 

Actually, one need not be a lamed-vavnik to uncover at 

least a portion of this hidden light, for anyone who studies 

Torah with sincerity may discover its splendor. 

The Chasam Sofer made the following observation: “The 

two brachos that precede the recital of the morning Shema 

seem to be totally unrelated. First, in the blessing of “Yotzer 

HaMeoros” we praise the creator of the Heavenly lights. 

Then we proceed to an entirely different theme and in the 

blessing of “Ahava Rabbah” we thank Hashem for giving us 

the Torah. There is significance in the juxtaposition, for 

nothing illustrates a point as vividly as comparison. Torah 

is a source of light, and so are the heavenly bodies. In the 

bracha of “Yotzer HaMeoros” we observe the limited external 

lights. It is then that we can truly appreciate the penetrating 

and revealing inner light of the Torah, which lights 

up our eyes and instills within us a deeper awareness of the 

concealed dimensions of reality. “Light up our eyes with 

Your Torah,” we plead. External light and secular analysis 

at best can only illuminate the object being studied. Torah 

by contrast, lights up one’s very eyes. 

Eye Appeal 

All of this, of course, is related to the Chanukah theme. 

But in dealing with Chanukah, we must begin with the 

threat that brought about the entire Chanukah chapter in 

our history – the Greeks and their mighty civilization 

Yavan. The prototypical Greek was the son of Yefes, whose 

province was yofi – aesthetics and eye-appealing beauty. 

(Bereishis 9:27). Hashem endowed Yefes with an extraordinary 

genius for visual arts and skilfully executed forms. 

However, the passage concludes, “but He will dwell in the 

30

Rashi comments: “the eyes see and the heart desires…” 

man’s heart is caught up in an eternal tug-of-war: the eyes 

against the soul, the outer light against the inner light. 


31 

tents of Shem.” Graceful shapes are only superficial, so 

Hashem has selected the inner chambers of the humble 

tents of Shem for his place of dwelling. 

The contours and shapes of things fascinated the early 

Greeks. The exquisite curves and smoothly sculpted flesh 

of the human form were especially dear to their appreciative 

sense of beauty. They were exhilarated by the contemplation 

of precise geometric forms and angles, and 

symmetrical architectural colossi left them breathless. They 

also relished verbal beauty. Flowing rhetoric art, impressive 

sophistry enjoyed great popularity. In short, appearance 

and form counted far more than inner content. The package 

prevailed over the product. And when Socrates started 

to search for substance he was treated to a cup of deadly 

hemlock. 

The Greeks followed their eyes. The Jews followed their 

soul. The Torah warns: “and you shall not stray after your 

hearts and after your eyes” (Bamidbar 15:39) Rashi comments: 

“the eyes see and the he heart desires…” man's heart 

is caught up in an eternal tug-of war: the eyes against the 

soul, the outer light against the inner light. Their eyes breed 

desire while the soul fosters content. Each element seeks 

to overwhelm the other. And this is the Kulturkapmf Yefes 

versus Shem, Greek versus Jew. 

The Inward Focus 

There was a time when it seemed as if Greek conquerors 

of Judea were going to be victorious in the fierce ideology 

struggle. Suddenly, the Chashmonaim, priestly guardians of 

the inner sanctity entered the struggle and overcame the 

Greeks. The festival of Chanukah commemorates their renovation 

and rededication of the Bais HaMikdash. But in 

truth their main objective was to renovate and rededicate 

the Jewish heart. They had to rip the Jew’s attention away 

from the oil lights and focus it once again on the inner glow. 

They fashioned a new menorah, not out of the customary 

metal, gold, but rather out of plain iron rods (Rosh 

Hashanah 24b). Aesthetics have a very prominent place in 

Torah philosophy, but only as long as the external ornament 

serves to enhance the inner spirit. The Greeks had 

taught the Jews to appreciate adornment purely for its own 

sake, to accept beauty as an independent value. The Chashmonaim 

sought to refute that doctrine by practicing a rigid 

simplicity. 

But why did they select the menorah for emphasis? Actually 

the Talmud (Shabbos 22b) questions the very necessity 

of a menorah in the Bais HaMikdash: Did they need it 

for light? (They had ample light form natural sources.) 

Rather, the light of the menorah was a testimony to all the 

people of the world that Hashem’s presence dwelt inside 

the sanctuary.” 

Centuries ago, prior to the Age of Illumination, people 

did not waste light. A fire with no function was promptly 

extinguished, and the fuel was carefully hoarded. If the 

flames of the menorah burned constantly without any apparent 

function, it must have been that this was not light 

made to shed external illumination, but rather to symbolize 

the inner glory associated with G-dliness. 

For this reason, it is prohibited to use the Chanukah 

candles as illumination for any ordinary activities. Such utility 

would strip the candles of their essential message – that 

there is more than one kind of light, that of the soul besides 

for that of the eyes. 

“The time for lighting the Chanukah candles is from 

sunset until the time that all traffic ceases in the marketplace.” 

(Shabbos 21b) 

As long as men are involved in the affairs of the marketplace, 

as long as they are engaged in the pursuit and purchase 

of all that their eyes see and their hearts desire – then 

they are still in need of the lesson of the Chanukah menorah. 

No doubt, our era is the age of the eye and the age of 

the market. This is so self-evident it does not require much 

elaboration. When else in history has the consumer been 

flooded with so staggering an array of tempting products 

wrapped in billions of dollars worth of “eye-catching” advertisement? 

When before has the human eye been so constantly 

exposed to the distracting sights of the stage, screen 

and street? In the Age of Illumination, the outer lights have 

all but successfully blotted out the inner lights. 

It is time to gather around the thirty-six candles of the 

menorah and give the inner lights the opportunity to convey 

their soft, subtle, penetrating message.

LIGHTS 

By Rabbi Moshe Weinberger/ Jewish Action 


One year, the great Hassidic master, R’ Dovid of 

Talne waited for what seemed like hours to light 

the Hanukkah candles. He seemed bewildered holding the 

lit shammash as hundreds of Hassidim stood watching and 

waiting. Finally the Rebbe called the name of a certain Hassid 

and asked that he step forward. The fellow who fearfully 

approached the Rebbe was unusually tall and thin and an 

honest, God fearing Jew. The Rebbe said, “Brother, I have an 

unusual question to ask you, and everything depends on 

your answer.” Everyone was at a loss as to what the Rebbe 

could stand to gain from the simple man before him. “Do 

you ever tell your wife a secret, something that you would 

never say to anyone else?” Dumbfounded the Hassid meekly 

replied, “Yes, sometimes.” “What do you do when you tell 

her a secret?” People began to giggle since everyone in the 

town knew that the man’s wife was a petite woman. “I bend 

down to tell her.” “Is that all? Aren’t you forgetting something?” 

“My wife stands on tiptoes.” Upon hearing this, the 

Rebbe joyfully lit the candles with ecstatic fervor, unusual 

even for him. Later that evening the Hassidim approached 

a member of the Rebbe’s family, the great R’ Mordechai Dov 

of Hornsteipl and asked him to explain the Rebbe’s strange 

behavior during candle lighting. The tzaddik said, “Every 

Jew, even a Rebbe can’t help but wonder – “How important 

could every action of mine be in God’s eyes? Why would 

God be so concerned with my little mitzvah, my candle?” 

The Rebbe wanted to demonstrate that when you love 

someone and have a secret to share, no matter how tall you 

are you’ll bend down and whisper the words into the 

beloved’s ear.” Generally the Shechinah does not descend 

beneath ten tefachim. God loves each Jew and bends down 

from infinity to share His secrets with him. All He asks is that 

he stands on tiptoes. 

This is the essence of Chanukah; the Yom Tov of man 

yearning for God, of candles ignited by the spark of human 

creativity. It celebrates an encounter in the night exile, a secret 

shared in the darkness. The lights of Chanukah burn 

steadily until and beyond “that day which will be neither 

day nor night,” until the time when “the light of the moon 

shall be as the light of the sun and the light of the sun shall 

be sevenfold.” (Isaish 30:20) All He asks is that we stand on 

our tiptoes. 

32

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The leading Rabbonim with expertise in all halachic issues pertaining to infertility and reproductive medicine are available 

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Chizuk 

Chanuka 

Reflections 


Tonight is the first of Chanukah. I hurry to make it 

home by Z'man Maariv so that my husband can 

‏.ליכטל בזמנו light the first 

My ride drops me off a few blocks from my house. As 

I begin to walk home, I find myself caught up in the Yom 

Tov spirit around me. The groceries and Seforim stores 

bulge with customers doing their last minute shopping. 

I spot an elderly woman schlepping a milk crate, her 

make-shift menorah stand. The children cheerfully tote 

bags filled with gifts for mommy, sweets for school 

parties, and of course olive oil and wicks. 

My husband arrives home earlier than usual, and the 

preparations begin! We remove the sterling silver tray 

and menorah from the showcase where it's been waiting 

patiently to be used once again. 

After the brachos are recited, I sit back and enjoy the 

serene Chanukah lights. 

Then it all comes back to me. I am jolted by the 

memory of last Chanuka. 

Flashback! A flood of memories overwhelms me as 

each thought scrambles for the front seat. 

Reluctantly, my mind's eye turns the clock back a year. 

I see myself sitting next to the menorah, watching its 

flickering lights and listening to my husband sing the 

אנא traditional Chanukah songs. He sang the words of 

softly, repeating each word. I heard a hint of בכח 

pleading in his voice. 

Chanukah has always been an introspective time. A 

time known בעטן פאר גוטע קינדער ‏.צו A time for 

34


35 

I spoke of the many plans we’d already made. Plans which 

would never come to fruition, I kissed my beautiful angel 

good bye, before I ever had a chance to welcome him. 

special requests from our Father in Heaven. A request 

that we soon be father and mother to our own children. 

Our prayers were ב"ה answered. After trying years of 

infertility, our baby was obviously on its way. The songs 

took a new dimension, as we envisioned Chanukah a year 

from now. We imagined our immaculate dining room 

strewn with toys. The quietness disturbed by happy 

gurgling and squealing. We continued to sing filled with 

hope and yearning. We were anxiously awaiting our own 

‏.נס חנוכה 

We concentrated on giving the baby opportunities 

before birth to hear Torah thoughts, tefillos, and at this 

time Chanukah songs. This was the beginning of what 

‏.חינוך הבנים we expected to be a long hard road of 

Chanukah had a special agenda. I attended the last 

Lamaze class and got "the suitcase" ready. The hospital 

tour for soon to be parents couldn't be missed. The 

selection of a competent pediatrician had to be finalized. 

These chores were completed with joy and increasing 

anticipation for our long awaited precious baby. 

Our baby was born right on schedule. Everything 

seemed to click. A competent group of doctors were at 

my side. My baby who had been vigorously kicking since 

the twentieth week of gestation was not kicking at birth. 

He had stopped breathing. He was not born alive. It was 

not באשערט for us to take home our beautiful baby boy. 

I held my first born son in my arms lovingly. My heart 

torn, my dreams shattered. Hot tears flowed freely. I 

talked to him, although I knew he couldn't hear me. I 

told him of all the love we already felt for him. I spoke 

of the many plans we'd already made. Plans which would 

never come to fruition. I kissed my beautiful angel good 

bye, before I ever had a chance to welcome him. 

Our baby changed our lives in these recent months, 

elevating us to heights of happiness, and now again a 

change. He changed our lives forever. 

As I watch the eight dancing flames this Chanukah, 

I take pride. While pain and sorrow were choking us, 

we did not give in to despair. We felt our אמונה being 

tested each day. Questions remained unanswered as 

we continued to pray. We encouraged each other in 

those difficult times. It was not easy for us as we tried 

to stand tall and accept the challenge. Coping with 

one day at a time made our life more bearable. With 

survived. in mind, we זה היום עשה ה'‏ נגילה ונשמחה 

One year later a scar remained. But, it is healing, as 

we strive to grow from it. Our marriage has become 

stronger for having lived through such a heart wrenching 

experience together. Inner strengths were discovered 

along the road. After all, struggles have a way of making 

us grow. 

סייעתה דשמיא We pray to Hashem Yisburach to grant us 

and הרחבת הדעת that we be able to overcome the 

nisyonos He sends our way. That we grow from these 

nisyonos by helping ourselves and others. 

We sing the last songs and ask for continued strength. 

Editor's note: They are now ב"ה the proud parents of 

a beautiful 2 month old daughter.

Chizuk 

"To Light In Delight" 


It is Erev Chanuka. I have just taken out the silver 

menorah and the fragile glass box that will protect it 

from wind and rain when it stands lit outside on the 

window ledge. A bottle of olive oil, the small glass oil 

cups, some matches, tapers and other Chanuka 

accessories lie scattered around. The silver polish has 

done its job well, and the beautiful menorah with its 

delicate little jug glisten and sparkle. Perhaps it’s a strange 

custom, that has no real origins, but just as my husband 

prepares the oil and wicks for the Shabbos lights that I 

kindle, I prepare the oil and wicks for the menorah that 

he lights. 

Chanuka always conjures up warm memories. While I 

roll the wicks between my fingers, I fondly recall the 

menorahs of my father and brothers from years ago, and 

the songs we sang then. I can still savor the taste of the 

delicious oily foods and treats that my mother so lovingly 

prepared for us. I cherish the memories of those Chanuka 

evenings, the originals games we played together, and the 

quality family time we enjoyed and spent together. As we 

sat clustered together on those long, cold dark, winter 

nights, we felt only the warmth of family unity. All 

darkness was dispelled as we watched the flames flicker 

and glow. 

Now as I have only one menorah to prepare, I remind 

myself that the mitzvah is אחד איש וביתו ‏.נר One 

menorah, even one light, per household is adequate, and 

anything more is hiddur mitzvah, an embellishment. 

With just our one lone menorah it seems more difficult 

to duplicate that love, warmth and family unity, but the 

light he will kindle tonight will assure us and 

demonstrate that it is possible. There is an unusual 

quality to light. No matter what the volume of darkness 

is in proportion to the light, even one small flame has the 

power to eliminate darkness and illuminate a large area 

‏.מעט מן האור דוחה הרבה מן החושך 

I love Chanuka, I love this message and all the other 

lessons that Chanuka imparts. I love the brachos that 

36


37 

my husband melodiously sings, not just the tunes, but 

their words brings warmth, comfort, belief and hope. On 

the first night there is also the extra bracha that I love, 

‏.שהחינו וקימנו והגיענו לזמן הזה 

••• 

On a freezing night in Bergen-Belsen, a small group of 

starved, beaten prisoners gathered around the Bluzhever 

Rebbe. It was the first night of Chanuka and they had 

secretly assembled to see their beloved Rebbe perform 

the mitzva of lighting the menorah. There was obviously 

not even a tiny tin menorah, and there was certainly no 

olive oil. The prisoners wore wooden clogs that were 

dyed black. They took one of these 

clogs and used it as there menorah. 

Some flammable wax dye that had 

been smuggled out of the camp 

factory served in place of the oil. They 

lacked only a wick, but that was easily 

obtained. Every prisoner longed to be 

the one to pull threads from his 

already threadbare clothing to provide 

a wick for the menorah. They all knew 

the danger of being discovered, but 

this did not deter them. The group 

huddled together nervously as the 

Rebbe swayed with a small flame in his 

hand. He joyfully recited the brachos 

לאבותינו and ‏.להדליק נר של חנוכה 

He then briefly ‏.שעשה ניסים 

hesitated and looked around before 

‏.שהחינו reciting the final bracha of 

There in the camps in the valley of death a menorah was 

lit. A flame was ignited and flickered, shedding light on 

the darkest of nights. 

After the lighting, while they stood there mesmerized 

by the pure glow of the flickering flame, someone 

approached the Bluzhever Rebbe with a question. "I 

understand that you wanted to perform this mitzvah 

and felt compelled to light a menorah despite the 

hazards involved. I can comprehend that you could say 

the first two brachos, but how could you bring yourself 

I love the brachos 

that my husband 

melodiously sings, 

not just the tunes, 

but their words 

bring warmth, 

comfort, belief 

and hope. 

to utter the bracha of ‏?שהחינו There are dead bodies 

lying all around. Death is staring us in the face daily. How 

could you praise Hashem for allowing us to live through 

this terrible time of death and torture and starvation?" 

The Bluzhever Rebbe put his arm around this 

disheartened, shattered Yid and admitted that he had 

wondered the same thing, and therefore hesitated before 

saying ‏.שהחינו He then explained, "In that moment of 

hesitation, I looked around and I saw not death and 

destruction, but something entirely different and quite 

remarkable. I saw a crowd of Jews who have every right 

to give up hope, but instead they were waiting 

enthusiastically to perform the mitzva. It is for that sight, 

for that privilege to be alive and see the strength, 

greatness and courage of our people, that I can bless 

Hashem. He has kept us alive, given 

us the strength to endure and has 

sustained us." 

In our daily tefillos every 

morning, we say Pesuke D'zimra, 

sing Hashem's praises, and focus on 

how His glory can be seen in the 

magnificent world that He created. 

It is interesting to note that between 

the very first words of praise in the 

first lines of Baruch She'amar we say 

‏.ברוך גוזר ומקיים the words 

Wouldn't it be more of an 

appropriate praise to say that He 

annuls decrees, rather than He 

sustains and fulfills the decrees. In 

these words,though, we are actually 

proclaiming great praise of Hashem. 

While at times He issues decrees, He 

always gives us the strength and wherewithal to endure. 

We laud Hashem that even in the face of hardship, He 

sustains us. He gives us the courage for the most trying 

and difficult of circumstances. We praise Him for keeping 

us alive and sustaining us just as we do in the bracha of 

No matter what the circumstances may be, even ‏.שהחינו 

when He issues a גוזר ומקיים-‏decree ‏.ברוך He grants us 

the ability to stand and withstand even under the 

crushing burdens of our troubles and challenges.

Chizuk 


Allow me to share another שהחינו story, another 

incident of Jewish faith and endurance. It was an ordinary 

day in the high summer season when she went out, 

hoping to purchase a new fruit over which they could 

recite ‏.שהחינו Plums, apricots, mangos, cherries and 

lychees-they had already enjoyed these and many more 

fruits this season. Rosh Hashana was not approaching 

just yet, but she needed a new fruit and was determined 

to find one. An onlooker may have found it absurd, 

especially in Israel where it is difficult to find exotic fruits 

out of season. She, however, did not give up until finally 

after searching at a number of supermarkets and 

greengrocers, she spotted a sabra-fruit. She took her 

precious find home. 

Only now with the fruit in hand were they ready to 

go for their appointment. Medical forms, blood test 

results, medications and all the relevant paperwork were 

packed into the bag that they then 

took to the hospital. Many long 

hours later when they were 

physically and emotionally aching 

and exhausted, they looked through 

their bag. The medical papers no 

longer held any importance, the 

syringes no longer had any use, and 

the tiny vials of devastating words 

had shattered their last remnants of 

hope. There in the bag only one 

thing still offered them reassurancethe 

sabra-fruit that she had bought. 

העץ brachos: They each recited two 

והגיענו לזמן הזה and בורא פרי 

It is Hashem who ‏.שהחינו וקימנו 

creates fruits, both the fruits of the 

tree and the fruits of the womb. If in 

this instance He had decreed not to 

create fruits, He would certainly 

endow them with the strength and 

the ability to accept His decree 

faithfully and courageously. They 

already imagined and envisioned promising news, news 

that would warrant the bracha of ‏.שהחינו Now the 

situation had changed, but the bracha was still as relevant. 

It was acknowledgement of all Hashem's support in the 

past, and a prayer of hope for his continued help, support 

and assistance that they'd be able to endure in the 

עד הנה עזרונו רחמיך ולא עזבונו חסדיך.‏future 

(Nishmas). . ואל תטשנו ה'‏ אלקינו לנצח 

How appropriate that of all fruits she had found a 

sabra. Just as the sabra-fruit has a thick, thistly, thorny 

exterior skin, but inside its flesh is sweet, luscious and 

juicy, so too at times situations sting, look and feel 

thorny. When we realize, though, that even the painful 

situations are from our loving Father Above, then there 

When we realize, 

though, that even 

the painful situations 

are from our 

loving Father 

Above, then there 

must be sweetness 

within, for He 

wants only our 

good. 

must be sweetness within, for He wants only our good. 

While it is true that the hardships experienced today 

don't come close in comparison to the tortures or 

שהחינו persecution of the Holocaust, nevertheless, this 

recited at that hour was no less of a victory and 

declaration of Jewish faith. Hashem is always with us, 

encouraging us to stand firm. He does not want us to 

grope in the darkness. He Himself lights the way for us, 

gives us the tools to face life with courage and fortitude, 

and to accept our challenges with equanimity. 

This is one of the lessons of Chanuka. Yidden are 

compared to olives. Only when an olive is pressed, 

crushed and beaten, it's superior oily liquid can be 

extracted. So too, Yidden of faith can be hard-pressed, 

crushed, beaten and challenged, but it will only bring out 

and produce an even stronger faith and firmer belief in 

Hashem, Just as oil doesn't blend with any other 

liquidbut rises and floats to the top, 

so too Hashem's chosen people, with 

willpower and determination, can 

always overcome formidable 

obstacles and can rise to any 

challenge. Both as a nation and as 

individuals, we have proven time after 

time, again and again, that we don't 

give up-we rise up! 

••• 

A humorous story is told of two 

small frogs that accidentally jumped 

into a butter churn filled with milk. 

They were convinced that there was 

no way out of the churn, or out of 

their predicament. They could not 

scale the smooth, high walls of the 

churn, there was far too much liquid 

in it for them to drink, and for how 

long could they "tread milk"? These 

two frogs had very different personalities. One was a 

pessimist, so after quickly surveying the situation and 

finding no escape from the liquid that threatened to 

drown them, he surrendered to his fate. He quickly sank 

to the bottom of the churn and drowned. The second 

was an optimist, always full of hope and vision. He was 

determined not to give up the fight. No matter how bad 

the situation appeared to be, he refused to surrender. He 

would only go down fighting, and so he kicked and flailed 

his limbs without respite, causing the milk to solidify and 

turn into butter. The optimistic frog was thus saved! 

This story reflects and describes the fighting spirit of 

the Jewish nation. We don't quit when we reach an 

38

impasse, even if there appears to be no escape or way out. 

While our enemies try to drown us, we fight for our 

survival in the turbulent waters. We refuse to surrender to 

the waves that wash over us. We don't give up and against 

all odds גיבורים ביד חלשים רבים ביד מעטים with our 

‏.להודות ולהלל לשמך הגדול emuna intact we rise up 

After the Greeks defiled the 

heilige Bais Hamikdash and left it in 

shambles with all its sanctity 

profaned, the grief-stricken, 

brokenhearted Yidden did not 

despair. They didn't give up; they 

knew that even from such 

destruction there can-and must-be 

hope. Despite the deep pain and 

anguish they felt when they saw their 

beloved Bais Hamikdash left in ruins 

and defiled, they persevered and 

looked for purity. Within the ruins 

they found one flask of sealed, pure 

oil, only enough for one day, but it 

burnt for eight days. It provided enough light to brighten 

even the bleakest of moments and blackest of nights. 

Chanuka is in the middle of winter when the days 

are coldest and the nights are longest. We all go through 

periods of darkness and cold in our lives. The future is at 

times frightening. We face adversity and uncertainty, and 

the light at the end of the tunnel is not always visible. 

Chanuka, however, teaches us that just as they had to 

search to find that one flask of oil ההם ‏,בימים we can 

also persevere, search, and find Hashem's sealed promise, 

the light He provides בזמן הזה that will sustain us in our 

We all go 

through periods 

of darkness and 

cold in our lives. 

The future is at 

times frightening. 

own dark times. No matter what life brings, Hashem 

propels us to march on forward like brave soldiers, like 

עמדת להם בעת צרתם,‏ then, the Chashmonaim, just as 

so too now, whatever He thrust on our path, we walk 

hand in hand and face it together. 

••• 

It is the first night of Chanuka. 

Our menorah has just been lit. I 

watch the one small flame. It appears 

to be dancing as it flickers and sheds 

light. Its bright glow warms our 

hearts and dispels all darkness. As my 

husband finishes singing all the 

traditional Chanuka songs, before he 

shares his Chanuka insights and 

before I serve the Chanuka delicacies, 

I ask him to sing just one more song 

for this first night of Chanuka. His 

powerful voice rises in song. He sings with feeling and 

fervor. He sings a solo. No voice accompanies his with the 

harmony, but his rich voice sings in complete harmony 

with Hashem. Tonight with just one light on our one 

menorah, we create our own unique family unity and 

bond with our one father in Heaven. We celebrate the 

miracles and victories of בימים ההם and we marvel at 

the triumphs and victories הזה ‏.בזמן This extra song, 

these words that he so fervently sings, is our song of 

gratitude for the past, a prayer and supplication for the 

. שהחינו וקימנו והגיענו לזמן הזה-‏future 


39

Chizuk 

Lights 

at the end 

of the tunnel 


By the time I reached my early thirties, I felt my biological 

clock pounding away as I searched for a suitable 

husband. 

I was so relieved to get married at the age of 36, and assumed 

that I would get pregnant almost immediately. After 

all, my doctor had assured me that I was very fertile. As 

month after months passed without my getting pregnant, 

I began to feel panicked. Finally, I got pregnant, more than 

a year after we got married. We were elated that our prayers 

had finally been answered with a resounding “yes, now it’s 

time for you to have a child.” No lottery winner could have 

felt more grateful than us when we saw the fetal heartbeat 

on the sonogram at eight weeks. 

We had never considered the possibility that when I 

went back to the doctor the following week, we would see 

no heartbeat. The fetus died, and so did a small part of me 

when I heard the terrible news. My husband was inconsolable. 

We began consulting fertility specialists who assured us 

that all was fine, but that a little assistance would help 

speed thing along. We dutifully sought interventions every 

month, some of which required us to turn our lives upside 

down. One month, we needed to walk four miles each way 

to a hospital on the Sabbath. Another month, the doctor 

inserted an assortment of instruments into my reproductive 

system, left the room and forgot to return for 45 min- 

40


We had never considered the possibility that when I went 

back to the doctor the following week, we would see 

no heartbeat. 

utes. No one heard my screams in this back-room office 

while telephone calls and lunch break distracted her. Another 

month, we were recommended to a fertility specialist 

whose recommendation we faithfully followed. We found 

out later that his exorbitant fees were exceeded only by his 

willingness to subject women to procedures that had been 

scientifically proven to be ineffective. Finally, we went to 

one of the top fertility specialist at a well-known hospital 

where we were put at the end of a one-and-a-half year long 

waiting list. 

A year after my miscarriage, I got pregnant again during 

a trip to Israel. I attributed it to my endless prayers at the 

graves of saints and at the Western Wall. My husband and 

I were delightfully astounded, and awaited the birth of this 

child with great anticipation. A few weeks later, I gave a lecture 

at a community Sabbath lunch. The topic was, “Why 

Bad Things Happen to Good People.” One of my patients, 

who had suffered tremendously, insisted that a good friend 

of hers come to listen to me. The friend was trying to come 

to terms with a host of tribulations and challenges that she 

was facing, and my patient assured her that my word would 

help her find her way. Two minutes before I was to start 

speaking, I felt the familiar sensations of a miscarriage. 

I felt as if a messenger had come to tell me that I was 

not the rightful winner of the lottery whose prize I had already 

mentally banked. It had all been a mistake. 

I gave my talk, with its uplifting message that nothing 

happens by accident. Everything we undergo is a divinely 

engineered circumstance that is tailored to help our soul 

develop its maximal beauty and connection to its source. 

When I finished, my patient’s friend came over to tell me 

how deeply my words had touched her. When the crowd 

left, I sadly walked back to the rabbi’s house where I was 

staying. In private, I sobbed, feeling physical pain that reflected 

the emotional torment of my tragedy, even as my 

intellect told me that Hashem was embracing me, and it 

was all for an ultimately good purpose. 

Three months later, I got a telephone call from the hospital’s 

fertility center. The nurse told me that she found a 

way to get me into treatment in only six months instead of 

18. I jumped at the opportunity. I underwent yet another 

fertility workup from scratch, the fifth in two years. This 

time, though, the news was not encouraging. I was nearly 

39 years old, and the tests showed that I might have 

reached the end of my fertile years. I would have to get 

monthly blood tests to determine in any given month if I 

would be fertile that cycle. If I was not for three or four 

months in a row, there would be no point in subjecting me 

to any more fertility interventions. 

Every month we waited with bated breath for the results 

to come back, and the first two months we were crushed. 

My hormone levels were so high they were off the chart, 

indicating that I could not get pregnant those cycles. The 

third month, a miracle occurred. The levels were borderline, 

and the program accepted me for in-vitro fertilization. I had 

to inject myself with massive doses of fertility hormones 

for about a week, get multiple blood tests and sonograms. 

Then, at the ideal time, I would be anesthetized and have 

my (hopefully fertile) eggs removed so that they could be 

fertilized and later re-implanted. For the first time in two 

years, I had strong hopes that I would actually have a 

healthy pregnancy. 

I dutifully got my blood test the day before egg retrieval 

was planned. My husband and I were looking forward to 

having dinner that evening with friends who had finally had 

a baby using our hospital’s program. That afternoon, we received 

a terrible phone call. It seemed that my hormones 

had already surged, and that the chances that I would get 

pregnant if the eggs were retrieved the next day were not 

great. The doctor never said it, but he botched the timing. 

Based on what he told me, I had the surgery the next day, 

and a few days later one or two embryos implanted. Nearly 

two weeks later, with every day seeming an eternity, I discovered 

that I was still not pregnant. 

We endured several more months of torture, as I went 

for blood tests, only to be told that my numbers were off 

the chart. Finally, one freezing, windy evening, we heard the 

unlikely news on our answering machine. My numbers 

41

Chizuk 

I felt that Hashem was smiling down on me, and would 

finally give me my heart’s deepest desire. 


were good, they were within normal range, and I should 

start injections that evening. 

We were floating. It was Friday night – Shabbos. The 

nearest pharmacy was over a mile away. It was 21 degrees 

outside, with a 20 mind an hour wind blowing. We would 

have to walk at least a half hour each way to get the drugs 

that I needed. We couldn’t take money or credit cards with 

us, and we couldn’t use the telephone since it was Shabbos. 

What would we do if we got there and the pharmacist said 

the he didn’t have the medication; that he wouldn’t believe 

that we would come back the next day and pay him $1400 

for the three boxes of drugs? 

When we arrived at the pharmacy, huffing and puffing, 

with beet red cheeks the pharmacist told us that he had 

the medication, and he would trust us to pay for it. Once 

again, we were at the top of the roller coaster. 

Everything went along without a hitch. When the doctor 

implanted three embryos, they looked very healthy. As 

I rested afterward and recited Tehillim, I felt that Hashem 

was smiling down on me, and would finally give me my 

heart’s deepest desire. 

Less than two weeks later, my pregnancy test confirmed 

that I was, at long last pregnant. It was June, the flowers 

were blooming, the warm spring air caressed me, and all 

seemed right with the world. My unrelenting ordeal of the 

past two-and-a-half years seemed finally finished. I waited, 

with perverse longing, for the familiar, all day morning sickness 

to arrive. 

A few weeks later, while writing one of my books, I suddenly 

felt those sickening sensations. A scream welled up 

inside me. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me for 

a third time. Hadn’t I suffered enough? “Almighty Hashem,” 

I beseeched, “please make me a miracle and save this child. 

Please.” 

I had to wait until the next day to get a sonogram. I was 

bleeding massively, yet the fetus was still alive. I saw the tiny 

heart beating, a light in the midst of my otherwise dark tunnel. 

The doctor reassured me that it was possible to still 

have a healthy pregnancy and that I should go to my local 

obstetrician for any future care. 

When my obstetrician saw the sonogram in his office 

the next day, he showed me that the fetus was dead. “No, 

it can’t be,” I challenged him. He showed me why it was, I 

told him why it wasn’t. 

“Listen,” he said nonchalantly, “if you don’t believe me, 

you can get another sonogram across the street.” 

I did. Two hours later, my third sonogram in two days 

showed that I was right. The fetal heart was still beating at 

a healthy 140 beats a minute. “Thank you, Hashem,” I exclaimed, 

hoping that this baby’s will to live might persevere. 

The radiologist was not optimistic. 

“Look,” he cautioned, “the heartbeat is still good, but 

you have a huge amount of blood in your uterus.” He 

would say no more about prognosis. 

The fetus died a week later. “Okay, Hashem,” I resolved, 

“I’m not sure what you want me to do with this. Whatever 

it is, You’re in charge, and I hope that it will affect me so 

that I can be close to You and do Your will, whatever it is.” 

In the midst of recovering, a woman whom I had never 

met called and asked if I would speak to a group of singles 

in her home about how to find a marriage partner. “No 

problem,” I agreed. She had gotten my name from a mutual 

42

As I drove home in the wee hours of the morning, I fled exhausted 

and cautiously optimistic. After all, I had learned 

from hard experience that there are a few bona fide mystics 

in the world today. 

friend whose home I had spoken in the previous year. 

The next night, this woman, Sharon called again. “I don’t 

know anything about you,” she admitted, “but there is a 

rabbi who is coming to my house tomorrow night. He looks 

at people’s kesubos (Jewish wedding contracts) and helps 

them improve their lives. Would you like to come? 

“When will he see me?” I questioned, wary of consulting 

any miracle men. Unknown to Sharon, I had already consulted 

a host of them in my desperation to have a baby, 

“After midnight?” 

“Well after,” she confirmed. 

“Thanks, but no thanks,” I retorted. “I have already seen 

many rabbis. I have prayed at the burial places of more Jewish 

saints than I can count. Nothing ever helped,” I told her. 

“Look, I don’t know you and I don’t know what you’ve 

sought help for,” Sharon pressed, “but this rabbi is really 

very special. If you come, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.” 

Feeling that I had nothing left to lose, except for a few 

more hours of sleep, I went to Sharon’s house after midnight, 

the following evening. Her living room was filled with 

people I knew, including the woman who had given her my 

name. She and her husband were still childless after six 

years of marriage. 

I waited impatiently to see this rabbi. When I finally saw 

him at 1:30am, he looked more exhausted than I felt. I 

wordlessly put my marriage document in front of him and 

he studied it for a few moments. 

“Your husband is like a dead man,” he said, as he studied 

that paper further. “This document should be rewritten. 

Come and see me in three weeks and I will give you another 

kesubah.” 

I was dumbfounded. My husband had lost his desire to 

live since my first miscarriage, and for more than two years 

he had been profoundly depressed. “How do you know 

that?” I managed. 

“It’s all here in the kesubah,” he explained. “Part of the 

Jewish couple’s blessing comes via their Jewish marriage 

contract. The contract creates and defines the spiritual 

channel. When it has a flaw, the full blessing cannot come. 

In your case, your husband’s father was deceased when you 

got married and your kesubah was written with your husband’s 

name, son of his father’s name, followed by the abbreviation, 

“May his memory be for a blessing.” It is best for 

that abbreviation not to be in a wedding document. Many 

believe that it can cause misfortune. You need your document 

rewritten and everything will be okay. 

As I drove home in the wee hours of the morning, I felt 

exhausted and cautiously optimistic. After all, I had learned 

from hard experience that there are a few bona fide mystics 

in the world today. Prerequisites for being one are that a 

person is scrupulously observant and a Torah scholar and 

few such mystics make themselves known to the public. 

People today are desperate to find miracle workers who 

through magical means can give others what they want. I 

had already met my share of charlatans. I had only met a 

few who had truly helped others. Had Hashem put this 

rabbi in my path as a conduit for greater holiness to come 

into my life, or to test whether I would stop hoping for intermediaries 

like rabbis and doctors to provide me with the 

child that I so urgently wanted? I decided to pray that I had 

undergone whatever personal changes I needed to make 

and the change in the kesubah would allow me to be the 

person that Hashem deemed was ready to receive a child. 

Convincing my husband to get a new kesubah was not 

easy. Not only had he given up hope that we would have a 

baby, he was not receptive to the idea that changing a kesubah 

could alter the spiritual reality of our lives. 

Three weeks later, my husband got the new kesubah 

from the rabbi and gave in to me in front of two valid Jewish 

witnesses. After I took the document, the rabbi said, 

“Please Hashem, you should have a baby within a year.” I 

hoped that his prayer would go to the Almighty and be responded 

to in the way that I hoped. On the other hand, it 

was hard to imagine that after so much yearning and praying 

that my dream would come true. 

The next month, my body finally returned to normal, 

and I called the fertility doctor. “Should I come in for blood 

tests this month?” I asked. 

In an avuncular voice he responded, “Don’t bother. 


43

Chizuk 

Loving Hashem even when He doesn’t give us what 

we want is a true relationship. 


You’ve already spent almost three years and over $50,000 

trying to have a baby, and nothing has worked. We know 

why you keep having miscarriages or don’t get pregnant in 

the first place. You have no good eggs left. Some women 

reach menopause earlier, some later. You are no longer fertile. 

If you still want to have a baby, either adopt or go to a 

donor egg program.” 

I was crushed, and agreed with him that it was futile for 

me to go back to the hospital. On the other hand, I believed 

that Hashem wanted me to have a child, but not through 

that avenue. How He would make it happen, I had no idea. 

Two weeks later, my husband and I visited Israel for the 

Jewish Holidays. We prayed at the Kosel, stayed in Yerushalayim, 

and absorbed the holiness of our land. Two weeks 

after we came back to the United States, I discovered that 

I was pregnant. Our daughter was born on a Friday night 

in June, the first day of summer. It was ten months after the 

rabbi changed our kesubah. 

When I saw her for the first time, I was not prepared for 

what a newborn baby looks like. I had expected a Gerber 

baby. My child looked like a combination of Popeye and a 

Cone head covered in mayonnaise and ketchup. 

“Isn’t she the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?” My 

husband gushed, his eyes blinded by love. Indeed, when I 

saw her after she was cleaned up a few hours later, she was. 

A few months later, the rabbi visited our town, and I 

brought my baby to see him. “This is the baby that you told 

us we were going to have,” I reported. 

He looked at her, smiled, and then looked at me. “You’re 

going to have another one,” he said confidently. 

I nearly fell off my chair. I was already 40 years old, and 

the doctors had told me that I couldn’t even have the baby 

that was already born. I was going to have another one?! I 

was too stunned to reply, but my husband asked, “When?” 

“Soon,” the rabbi smiled. 

Over the next six months, my husband urged me to stop 

nursing our baby so that I would have a chance of getting 

pregnant again. I spoke to two top fertility specialists and 

they both agreed that in the best of circumstances, nursing 

would drastically reduce the possibility of conceiving again. 

Finally, I compromised; I would stop nursing when our baby 

was a year old if I still had not conceived by then. 

Twice every day, I prayed that I should get pregnant 

again and not have to stop nursing. When our daughter 

was eleven months old, we went to Australia together. 

When our daughter was one week shy of a year, my husband 

told me, “Look, our daughter will be over a year old 

by the time we get back to the States. You need to start 

getting used to the idea of weaning her.” She was happily 

nursing about eight times a day at the time. I said nothing, 

just intensified my prayers to get pregnant. 

Three days later, on the eve of Shavous, I discovered that 

I was pregnant. 

My experiences taught me many things. First, many of 

us spend our lives trying to get and achieve what we want. 

It is easy to think that it is up to us to make our agenda happen. 

I learned that trying to mold what we want to fit 

Hashem’s agenda is what life is all about. The utter helplessness 

that I felt trying to have a baby made me understand 

that I first needed to feel utterly dependent on 

Hashem before I could properly raise a child who would be 

utterly dependent on me. 

The Almighty uses pregnancy, giving birth, and raising 

children as opportunities for us to continually turn to Him 

and recognize that we always need Him. He wants us to 

talk to, and relate, to Him not only when we need something, 

but because we love Him and want to be close to 

Him. Love that is dependent on getting what we want is 

not real love. Loving Hashem even when He doesn’t give us 

44

While we are not supposed to rely on miracles and have to do 

everything that is normaly required in order to achieve results 


45 

what we want is a true relationship. I learned to love and 

trust Hashem even when I was very disappointed that He 

wouldn’t give me what I wanted. 

Second, I realized that sometimes the only way that 

Hashem can get us to do what He needs is to prevent us 

from having what we want. I realized after having a baby 

that there is no way that I could have written so many 

books on Judaism if I had had children when I was younger. 

Raising children requires so much of my energy that I simply 

didn’t have enough left over to write books for years. 

Obviously, Hashem wanted me to have children, but not 

on my timetable. He needed certain spiritual accomplishments 

to occur before it was time for me to be a mother. 

Even though I prayed a lot, gave extra tzedakah, and did 

other spiritually beneficial acts that didn’t result in my having 

a baby, I realized in retrospect that these were not 

wasted. No good deed is ever wasted, even if it doesn’t get 

us the results or object that we want. Maybe Hashem 

specifically made me unable to have children for many 

years so that I would deepen my relationship with Him 

through prayer and help others by giving extra tzedakah. 

Without having this impetus, I would not have done either. 

Third, I learned what it feels like to be infertile. I have 

helped many other infertile people as a result by giving 

them medical, spiritual and emotional counseling. I learned 

how insensitive people could be to those who are not 

blessed with children. 

If I looked at my ordeals only as barriers to my getting 

what I wanted, I would have missed much of the point of 

life’s challenges. They are supposed to transform us, make 

us into more giving, caring individuals. I believe I have been 

able to use the suffering that I underwent to make other 

people’s lives easier when they are in the same boat. 

Fourth, I learned firsthand that Hashem controls nature. 

While we are not supposed to rely on miracles, and have 

to do everything that is normally required in order to 

achieve results, I was privileged to experience how the 

Almighty overturns nature when it suits His purposes. 

We are often misled into believing that what doctors 

tell us is the truth and that life and death are in their hands. 

We need to remember that doctors are only Hashem’s 

agents and He is the ultimate Healer and Giver of Life. 

When we believe only in what is rational or natural, we limit 

our lives. When we attach ourselves to our Creator, and to 

His constant providence, miracles can, and do, occur. 

Fifth, I realized the importance of doing Jewish rituals 

correctly. Life is in the details. Does it really matter if I perform 

a commandment this way or that way, or observe it 

only in my heart? The answer is yes. Just as there are prescribed 

dosed of medication to take when a person is sick, 

or specific ways of wiring a house so that machines there 

will function properly, spiritual matters must also be done 

with attention to details. Within six months of having my 

kesubah changed, two other infertile friends of mine had 

theirs changed as well. (It doesn’t take a mystic to do this, 

only a rabbi who is properly versed in how to write a Jewish 

marriage document.) Each couple had been unable to have 

children for seven years. One couple now has three and the 

other has two children. The women got pregnant within a 

few months of having their kesubahs changed. 

Finally, I learned the power of prayer. We sometimes 

think that we should only pray as a last resort, and then 

when we don’t get the results we want, we don’t do it again 

for a long time. 

Learning Torah is the way that we hear Hashem talking to 

us. Praying is the way that we talk to Him. Every relationship 

requires communication with our Creator. We may not 

necessarily get the things that we want, but we can always 

have the relationship that we want. Being close to Hashem 

can change us so drastically that we become people who 

are worthy of getting blessings that are out of this world. I 

will forever be grateful that I got both. 

————————————————— 

Dr. Aiken is the co-author of the Art of Jewish Prayer and 

What Your Unborn Baby Wants You To Know. She is the 

author of To Be A Jewish Woman, Why Me, G-d? A Jewish 

Guide to Coping with Suffering, Beyond Bashert: A Guide 

to Dating and Marriage Enrichment, and The Hidden 

Beauty of the Shema. Her books have been reprinted numerous 

times, received popular acclaim and have been distributed 

worldwide in English-speaking countries and Israel. 

To Be A Jewish Woman has also been translated into Spanish 

and The Art of Jewish Prayer has been translated into 

Portuguese. Lisa’s latest book, Guide for the Romantically 

Perplexed (Devora Press) is now available. She is available 

for speaking engagements.

Chizuk 

ABC's of IF 

By Ayelet 


I guess I was born too early. 

I don't mean to age myself here, but I'm probably old 

enough to be the mother of most of you. That is, had I been 

able to get pregnant then. (Not likely.) And way back in those 

olden days, infertility- I mean IF-- was, well, not so cutesy. 

No cute abbreviations. Infertility was-infertility. Childlessness. 

Etc. (What would 'childlessness' be? CN) I had no dh. I 

mean I had a husband, a true darling, but DH to me was Duncan 

Hines. (It was all pareve back then.) Maybe there was IUI, 

IVF and also GIFT and ZIFT (Are those still around?). But nothing 

fun. I had sisters-in-law and a mother-in-law, but no SILs 

and MILs. Infertility was loooooong. REALLY long. No way 

to shorten it at all. As I've described it before, it was "one long 

word that ends with a 'Y' (Why!?)." 

But I kind of like this shortening stuff. (Duncan Hines? 

Shortening? Do I have a theme here?) I think we need some 

more cutesies. OK it may be too late for me. My PIT's (postinfertility-twins) 

are in school already. I can even say that now 

BE"H I am a mother for longer that I was an IFP (infertility patient)! 

Gee, I never thought of that interesting concept. But 

I'd never know it though. Infertility was so loooooong. RE- 

ALLY long. (Didn't I say that already?) And those years have 

46


47 

Infertility was looooong. REALLY long. No way to shorten it 

all. As I’ve described it before, it was “one long word the ends 

with a ‘Y’ (Why?!)” 

left their mark on me. 

Even then I had to put up with plenty of TC's (tactless comments). 

I guess some things never change, eh? Oh come ON, 

I know you can all use that abbreviation. "My SIL made the 

most ridiculous TC last week. She said that we're lucky we 

don't have kids yet because we can go wherever we want...) It 

could also be a HC (hurtful comment) or SC (stupid comment.) 

"Can you imagine the SC I got last week? Someone 

asked me what I was doing at the local yeshiva Melave Malka?," 

AC (annoying comment). 

Who loves being kvater? Me neither. Here goes: "Oh 

brother, I was just asked to do another KD next week. Should 

I do it?" Huh? You didn't get that? Kvater duty, you sillies!! 

And the answer---"Uh oh. Can you put up with all those 

IBY's?" (If you can't figure that's “IY'H by you," don't even 

bother reading the rest of this.) 

Social events? "Oh I am NOT going to the shul tea. Way 

too much PT." (OK, try! Think! Did you get it yet? "Pregnancy 

talk.") "Oh you are so right. And don't forget the BT too." (I 

know you all got 'Baby Talk" for that one.) And, as a nurse 

who's seen plenty alcoholics almost getting the 'shakes' in the 

Emergency Room, from alcohol withdrawal, I'd get a kick out 

of using DT's for Diaper Talk. Listen to this!!! --- "The DT's" is 

a very dangerous condition experienced by alcoholics in withdrawal. 

While its most famous symptom is "the shakes," heywow- 

look at this description of it! "... an episode of delirium 

tremens is usually preceded by disturbed sleep and irritability...... 

sweating and increases in heart rate...... can be treated, 

and even prevented, by the injection...” Hey that sounds familiar! 

Disturbed sleep, irritability, that sweating and increased 

heart rate could be before, during, or after a 

procedure or pregnancy test... and of course, Injection! OK. 

Fine. So I abridged the description a bit, took out a few words, 

I mean sentences here and there, but otherwise, "The DT's" is 

the best one yet! "Can't go to shower tonight, I might get the 

DT's." 

Personally, I was an antisocial hermit all those years because 

all of the above. Mordechai Ben David, I extend my apologies 

but... I never went anywhere because I could not handle the 

whole MBD (Motherhood and Babyhood Discussions) scene. 

It was also hard not to notice those GOP's (Glances of Pity). 

The ones that often came with the IBY's. 

Our poor husbands. I mean DH's. They have to put up 

with our annoying HMS's (hormonal mood swings). (Can't 

use "MS" because that's already taken, used by a very agonizing 

disease.) 

Is Yom Tov and/ or family reunion time hard for you? All 

those NAN's (nieces and nephews) you wish you could hug 

and fuss over but the pain is too unbearable? And really, why 

is everyone so DUM! He/she/they just Don't Understand Me! 

And the rest of the AR's (annoying relatives). "So when are you 

going to the doctor next?" 

"Gotta go," you tell your friend. "Sorry, this is IT (injection 

time.) How many segulos have you been told of and/or tried? 

"Oh brother.... a neighbor called my mother and gave her GAS 

(Gave Another Segula). Personally, I think we can have our 

own language. No one ever understands us anyway. 

Let's see, "Iffy" is already taken. ("I'm not sure I need another 

shot/ ultrasound/ blood test tomorrow. It's still kind of iffy.") 

Let's do........ Iffish. 

Well, I gotta go. Time for exercise. Gotta work on these 

extra pounds, because I'm getting way too much GABbing. 

And I've had enough of that already!

Chizuk 

From C (Conception) 

To A (Adoption) 

One Couple’s Journey to Resolution 

By Rachel Chana Bas Sarah 


We know that Hashem has a plan for each of us. 

But, like a good mystery novel, we are often left 

in suspense as to what it is. We pray for answers and when 

the mystery persists, it may seem as though Hashem isn’t 

answering us. But, actually He is. One night years ago, when 

I discovered that I wasn’t pregnant again, I clutched my belly 

and cried to my husband, “Hashem is telling us His plan. 

Each month it’s the same. He might as well skywrite it over 

our apartment windows. And His message would spell, 

ADOPT!” But, it took us several more years – until our 10th 

wedding anniversary – to hear, accept and embrace this 

message. 

During most of our aggressive medical treatment, I 

prayed to Hashem, “Please let us conceive this month.” We 

knew adoption would give us the family we so desperately 

wanted, but it was steeped in layers of loss, pain and failure. 

We said we wouldn’t adopt until we could open our hearts 

to love through adoption. We would never put our children 

at risk by not being able to accept and love them completely. 

Friends would say, “You will wake up one morning and 

feel differently. You will be ready to take action. You will feel 

resolved.” Perhaps this happened to others, but to us? In the 

meantime, over a period of a few years, I telephoned adoptive 

parents for their attorneys, approaches and feelings 

about adoption. Were they happy that they had adopted? 

The answer was a resounding “yes.” 

“You mean,” I’d persevere, “you don’t feel any differently 

about this child than you would have had he or she been 

48


49 

conceived?” Or, “you mean you don’t feel any differently 

about this child than you do about his sibling whom you 

did conceive?” Everyone expressed joy, acceptance, even 

gratitude. I looked for the cracks in this yellow brick road. 

“Do you think,” I’d ask my husband, “that there’s some 

kind of conspiracy? They’re enthusiastic because they 

want more members in their club?” 

We stayed in treatment, and 

waited for this phenomenon called 

“resolution” to occur. We decided to 

honor the time it was taking us, for 

there may be good reason for it. We 

weren’t simply procrastinating. We returned 

to prayer. During those early 

years, I felt Hashem had lost track of 

us – we felt beyond His reach, forgotten, 

and overlooked. Now we had to 

put our faith back in Him. We had to 

believe that He had a plan for us and 

that we just had to ride it out to learn 

what it was. We cried. We read. We 

thought. We prayed. A rabbi once 

told us that changes are usually made 

when the status quo is more painful 

than the change. I began to pray for 

the courage to make a change. Suddenly my Shabbos 

prayers shifted: “Please help us realize Your way. Help us 

have the courage to make new choices, if that’s what You 

want, with dignity and a smile on our faces.” I prayed for 

the strength to literally cross the street, from the side of 

infertility treatment and the focus on conceiving a child, 

to the other side where there are other wonderful options 

for building a family. Looking back, this was a time 

of growth and healing and renewal. 

We knew adoption 

would give 

us the family we 

so desperately 

wanted, but it 

was stepped in 

layers of loss, pain 

and failure. 

While vacationing, I casually mentioned to a relative 

who is a college professor that if he ever encountered a 

pregnant student, to consider us because we were planning 

to adopt. Later, I realized that I had said it without 

an overriding emotion. I had ‘stood tall’ behind the 

statement, not shrunk from it. It was, finally something 

that I clearly wanted, something that I could yell from 

the rooftops. “Hooray, we’re adopting. 

We’re so happy to be adopting. 

Help us to adopt.” My husband, who 

had said he was ready a few months 

before, was delighted to hear I had 

also shifted. In those early months, 

we took our first sure but unsteady 

steps, as we charted our adoption 

plan and I continued to experience 

the fear and excitement of that shift. 

I prayed for the courage to stay this 

course. It seemed a miraculous shift 

then, and there were still certain 

moments of doubt and fear. But, 

looking back, it was less miraculous 

than a product of hard work, prayer 

and pure desire to be happy in the 

choice we make before we actually 

made it. 

And, are we happy? We are today the parents – oh 

my gosh, did I say parents? – of a six month old gorgeous, 

joyful, healthy and strong willed child, exactly 

the child we always envisioned. And thank G-d for him. 

We know he was meant for us and we were meant for 

him. He was what we were being prepared for all along. 

And may you, dear reader, also realize your dreams in 

the blink of an eye.

Chizuk 

An 

Egg’straordinary 

Story 


There is a well known parable describing a person who 

sees the back of a tapestry. Horrified by the mess of 

strings and knots, he wonders why the artist has spent so 

many hours on the production of this eyesore. The artist 

quietly leads the onlooker around to the front of the tapestry, 

where he is shown the exquisite colors, the striking 

design and the beautiful image that is now clear. The onlooker 

gasps and exclaims to the artist, “Now I understand! 

I was looking at the tapestry from the wrong side.” 

This poignant mashal depicts our lives beautifully. During 

difficult times, we see life in tangles. Knots and loose 

strings are difficult to understand, and we sometimes wonder 

at the purpose of it all. We must remember that our 

perspective is limited. We see only the back of the tapestry. 

The Master Artist is creating a beautiful design that we, 

with our limited vision, just cannot fathom. 

Some people know from the outset that they may have 

problems conceiving and bearing children; for others this 

realization is a slow process, only dawning on them after 

waiting for seemingly endless months. These people then 

have to decide what to do and where to turn. We belonged 

to the second category. Our infertility was like a dripping 

tap, as slowly but surely, we realized that there was indeed 

a problem and that we should really be doing something 

50


After many years of enduring different treatments and testing, 

we decided that a new approach was needed. 

51 

about it. With this realization came confusion and the feeling 

of isolation. We felt so alone. 

And so, we embarked upon our journey into the unknown. 

Our path led us through difficult and treacherous 

topography, its valleys as deep and dark as its mountains 

were high and exhilarating. There was no clear map for us 

to follow and our journey led us to many different cities in 

pursuit of our goal. 

After many years of enduring different treatments and 

testing, we decided that a new approach was needed. To 

that end, we decided to ask a Rov if a particular form of 

spiritual effort would be a good idea. He wasn’t keen on 

our idea but did send us to Israel to daven at the gravesite 

of R’ Shimon Bar Yochai. He encouraged us to daven that 

we should merit children and that we should name our 

miracle son Shimon after this great Tanna. 

Calling the travel agent and booking the last tickets 

available on the plane, changing our summer plans and 

packing, kept us busy for the next few days until we set of 

in earnest. Armed with our Tehillim and a sense of mission 

we went to fulfill our assignment. All in all, we were in Israel 

for three days. The first day, we went to the Kosel and davened. 

The second day we got up at the crack of dawn and 

drove to Meron. Although the day was hot, inside the 

building the air was cool. Tears welled up in my throat as I 

became conscious of how much depended on my prayers 

in this place. I sobbed as never before and poured my heart 

out in prayer. I felt at one with all the people who had shed 

tears at this holy site. 

From Meron, we went up the narrow, winding roads to 

Tzefat, to daven there at the ancient burial ground of some 

of our most famous Tzaddikim. Once again, my wife and I 

felt overwhelmed by emotion as we stood at these holy 

sites. Again and again, we begged Hashem to give us children, 

to allow us the privilege of becoming parents. Tears 

that we had stored for years now found an escape through 

our heartfelt prayers. We davened here not only for ourselves, 

but also for couples we knew, for those who have 

been on this difficult journey for longer than we have and 

for those who unfortunately were just starting. We prayed 

that all our tefillos should be answered. 

On the third day of our trip, we were utterly exhausted. 

All we could do was relax in the flat in which we were staying 

and try to appreciate the atmosphere of Eretz Yisroel. 

Returning home, we tried to carry on our lives as before. 

Did we have children nine months later, or even within a 

year? The answer to that is no. But we did implement 

some major life changes, especially in the realms of infertility. 

After spending many years at our local clinic, we were 

advised to move to a new location. Anyone who has been 

in this position will know that one doesn’t change clinics 

easily. After all, this clinic knew our history, and just as importantly, 

we knew them. My wife knew which nurse 

would smile at her despite the early morning rush, she 

knew which of the sonographers were more competent, 

and we were comfortable with the system. Starting in a 

new clinic would be a scary proposition. But clearly, it was 

time to move on. 

Our evenings became intense and pressured. I continued 

my evening learning program whilst my wife had to 

prepare for teaching the next day, do a myriad of other 

household tasks that never seemed to get finished, pack 

up breakfast for the early morning trip, fit in her injections 

and make sure to go to bed early. We would have to be up 

at four thirty the next morning in order to be at the clinic 

for scanning and blood tests. 

We did the early morning clinic trips for almost ten 

months. We traveled on dark rainy mornings and through 

glorious sunrises. We drove and drove. We made a routine 

for ourselves and it became familiar. We made sure that 

our journeys were productive – even if the outcome of our 

trips was not. We listened to shiurim and talked about 

things that we never seemed to have time for before. My 

wife decided that even if she was not used to being a 

‘morning person,’ these are times when you have to change 

and be in a good mood because grumpiness would only 

have increased the difficulty. Shabbos and Yomim Tovim, 

guests and work – all scheduled around cycles at the clinic. 

Phone calls and injections, blood test and treatments became 

part or our private lives that no one had any idea

Chizuk 

Since this verse discusses taking the children for oneself, performing 

this mitzvah is a known segulah for having children. 


about. There were times though, when our privacy had to 

be breached, like when we ran out of needles and syringes 

on Sunday and have to beg for some from the local Jewish 

GP. Then there was the time when we forgot to assemble 

the syringe and needles before Shabbos and got stuck. We 

had to find a non-Jew to do this seemingly easy, but obscure 

job all the while wondering whether to laugh or to 

cry at such a bizarre situation. 

The trips to this clinic were new, although our journey 

was taking us along a well-trodden path. We had gotten 

used to embarrassing questions from all the different people, 

like the houseguests who asked why we had pharmacy 

bags in the fridge. We even learned to deal with the conversations 

that didn’t have answers – “Sorry. I didn’t get 

your phone message. No, I’m not trying to avoid you but I 

wasn’t here when you phoned. I know it doesn’t seem early 

to be out of the house at 7:00am. No, we didn’t go on holiday.” 

On Erev Shabbos I met a friend on his way home. He 

had been out walking and had found a nest with eggs in it 

and he wanted us to participate in the mitzvah of shiluach 

hakan. This mitzvah is particularly special for those who 

have not yet been blessed with children, as the posuk tells 

us: Shaleach tishlach haem v’es habanim tekach lach. Since 

this verse discusses taking the children for oneself, performing 

this mitzvah is a known segulah for having children. 

The particulars of this mitzvah are quite complicated; 

you have to ensure that the nest is in a public place, you 

have to send away the mother bird and not the male who 

sits on the nest during the day and you need to shoo away 

the bird via your hand (a stick is OK as its is like an extension 

of your hand) – you can’t do it by making a noise. 

We carefully reviewed these laws over Shabbos, and on 

Sunday evening we were rearing and ready to go. My friend, 

my wife and I all drove to the nearby retail park where the 

nest was located. We pulled into a small car park that was 

surrounded by trees on three sides. We all got out quietly, 

my friend with his torch, me with a stick with which to 

shake the nest and my wife with her camera and trusted 

Tehillim. My friend looked for the tree with the nest, but 

it seemed to have disappeared into thin air. We just 

couldn’t find it. Not being one to give up easily, he decided 

to come back the next day, in the light, to see if he could 

find it again. 

The next afternoon, we got a phone call. My friend had 

found the nest and had marked it by tying a red balloon 

around the tree. That way, we would be sure to locate the 

nest when we would go back that evening. 

Off we went to try again. Driving into the car park, we 

left the car headlights on so that we could locate the balloon 

and the nest. Lo and behold, there was the balloon. I 

crept into the undergrowth and looked up. There, right 

above me was the nest. I could see the bird sitting on her 

eggs but there was no way I could reach it. Have no fear – 

my friend had come prepared! He brought out his kitchen 

stool from the back of his car and we pushed it up against 

the tree. Cautiously, I climbed up and reaching out, I could 

see the nest clearly but there was no way that I could reach 

the eggs. The kitchen stool was just not tall enough. Off 

we went, home again. 

‘If at first you don’t succeed, try again.’ As veterans of 

the infertility world, we had learnt by now that not all 

things work out as planned the first time, or even the second 

or third time! Not being easily discouraged, off we 

went for a third attempt. This time we were joined by a 

very long ladder, a long stick and a new friend who we 

thought may be able to help. Once again, we drove into 

the car park, located ‘our’ tree, set up the ladder so that I 

could climb up, and shoo away the mother bird with my 

stick. We were so intent on our task that we didn’t take 

onto account the noise. We looked up the nest just in time 

to see that mother bird fly off. Maybe this wasn’t supposed 

to be. Ever the optimist, my friend decided that we would 

52

My friend’s wife gave birth to a healthy baby girl. A few 

weeks after that, my other friend who had joined us also 

had a baby daughter. And a couple of weeks later, 

we became the proud parents to twin boys. 

leave everything in place for our next attempt. Leaving the 

ladder and a stick, carefully positioned in the trees in a public 

car park may seem odd to some, but if you think about 

some of the weird and wonderful things that we did in 

order to have children, then you’ll just add this to the everincreasing 

list. 

My friend spent the journey home persuading us that 

we were going to come back the next night and that this 

time, we would manage to chase the bird away according 

to the halacha. 

Allowing ourselves to be persuaded, the next night off 

we went once again, my two friends and my wife. This time 

we were going to succeed. Into the car park we drove, as 

slowly and quietly as we could. We all got out of the car, 

determination written on our faces. Bu there was another 

car in the car park! They must have been rather puzzled as 

to what exactly we were trying to do and we walked nonchalantly 

around the car park until our uninvited guests 

left the site. Softly, I crept into the undergrowth and 

climbed up the ladder. Yes, it was still there! Pushing the 

stick against the nest, the startled mother bird flew off. I 

had done it! Carefully, I removed the eggs from the nest 

and as I climbed down the ladder, I handed them to my 

friend who held onto them carefully. Once down on the 

safe ground, we all took a look at our special souvenir. 

There were four small speckled eggs, two pairs. These were 

our Mitzvah eggs and my wife used them in her challah 

dough that week. As a thank you, we went sent Challos to 

our two friends who helped perform this special mitzvah. 

Later, we found out that pigeons, whose eggs we had 

taken, always lay eggs in pairs. These pairs of eggs hatch. 

Each pair always consists of one male and one female. The 

pair then mate and remain loyal to each other for life, creating 

the perfect analogy for us. Just as we remain faithful 

to Hashem through out turbulent times, so Hashem remains 

faithful to us, no matter what. 

The next summer, there were three friends wearing maternity. 

My friends’ wives were all expecting, as was my 

wife. Although this was not a first child for either of them, 

for us it was a long awaited pregnancy after many years of 

childlessness. 

My friend’s wife gave birth to a healthy baby girl. A few 

weeks after that, my other friend who had joined us also 

had a baby daughter. And a couple of weeks later, we became 

the proud parents to twin boys. We were three 

friends who had all joined together to do an extraordinary, 

unusual Mitzvah. 


53

Chizuk 

No, I'm Not a 

Mommy (Yet) 

by Lisa Compart 


Yet another friend is pregnant. I had promised myself 

I would never wish this on anyone else. I swore 

I would never want to look away when I saw a baby. I love 

babies. I love my preschoolers. My 12 children "all the same 

age," as I love to say. Kissing the tops of their heads fills me. 

They sit on my lap, warming my outsides and insides simultaneously. 

Rubbing their backs calms me. I intentionally call 

them the wrong name just to hear them giggle. I get on my 

knees to speak to them eye to eye, gently but firmly, with a 

sense of peacefulness and purpose. 

But babies are too close. And pregnancy is even closer. 

My emotions feel poked and scraped by every new announcement, 

every round belly. Others' joy used to bring 

me joy. It's crazy, too, how I have a relative-envy meter. The 

woman who waited over ten years to be married deserves 

her baby right away. My friend, who traversed this infertility 

54


55 

The wonder in my little ones' eyes will continue 

to fill my spirit 

minefield herself for over five years before having her first, 

deserves her second. For them I can be warm and excited 

(most of the time). 

I can even handle a few of those regular-folk pregnancies. 

Right now, though, they have me surrounded. Up the 

hill and to the right, two babies are on their way in a matter 

of months. Up the hill in the opposite direction another 

one's brewing. Down the hill just announced it over Shabbos, 

and one block away is due in six weeks. It's a good 

thing there's a parking lot behind our apartment building, 

or they would truly have me on all sides. 

In my classroom the outside world disappears. We rush 

from snack serving to potty training to coat zipping-- 

thanking God for the "yummy crackers" with a bracha 

[blessing], congratulating a little one on her first success on 

the toilet, giving a hug along with the coat. I am a conflict 

resolution expert, cuddler, nurse, waitress, and actress. My 

day is a whirlwind of caretaking and loving, wonderfully distracting. 

Their toddlerhood in my classroom is a safe distance 

from the babyhood I long for in my home. 

My work life and my home life feel like such opposites. 

Teaching brings forth potential. Infertility is potential 

thwarted. It's a flower trying to sprout with a rock on top 

of it, a bunch of ingredients trying to will themselves into 

a cake. The classroom has hope and growth and change 

moment by moment. My life feels stuck. Hope is scary because 

disappointment hurts too much. But lack of hope 

hurts more. Seeing babies or moms-to-be smacks me with 

the reality of still broken dreams. 

During the first year or two of trying, other people’s joy 

didn't hurt very much. Maybe because I wasn't yet so obviously 

an object of pity. Now there's no doubt. I see people 

adjust their balance as our conversation unfolds. 

"Do you have children?" they innocently ask. 

"No, not yet," I respond as nonchalantly as possible. 

"How long are you married?" 

"Three years," I answer, mustering up even more nonchalance. 

Then it happens. The slight moment of computation of 

years and emotions. I'm convinced I know their thoughts. 

The dramatic "Oh," followed by "There must be a problem." 

Yet the response comes almost immediately: "Everything 

in the right time," or "God should bless you soon," or 

other plastic sounding responses. 

I don't want to feel like I'm hearing fingernails on a 

blackboard whenever I hear a woman is expecting a baby. 

I don't blame them. In their shoes, my reaction would 

be identical. Yet since I repeatedly view the same scene, the 

tone is different. It's like watching and re-watching the same 

scene of a movie, or when you try to spell a word like "from" 

and all of a sudden it looks weird. If you saw the scene once, 

or spelled the word without thinking about it, all seems 

normal. I want normal back. I don't want people to have 

to contemplate a response when hearing about my life. I 

don't want my reproduction to involve a doctor's office. 

And I don't want to feel like I'm hearing fingernails on a 

blackboard whenever I hear a woman is expecting a baby. 

I want to cry and cry and crawl into God and be comforted. 

I want to throw the pain into my prayers and beg 

God to have mercy on us -- to bless us with a child when 

He knows the time is right. 

And until then, I'll keep kissing heads of fluffy curls, and 

teaching tiny neshamos [souls] to be kind and listen and 

hug. I'll help make towers from primary-colored plastic 

blocks, and shape challah from bright orange play-dough 

on Friday mornings. The wonder in my little ones' eyes will 

continue to fill my spirit. Pregnancy announcements and 

double strollers will still jar my insides. But until that time 

comes when God kisses our dreams and sends them to us 

in a tiny bundle, I will continue to love my borrowed neshamos, 

rehearsing the role of full-time guide and cuddler. 

Practicing -- and praying -- to be called Mommy. 

Editor's note: After this article was published in 2005, 

the author has been blessed with a son.

Chizuk 

Chanukah Infertility Style 

A conversation with Sarah l. Berga 

By Randi Hutter Epstein, M.D. 


What images does the word "Chanukah" conjure 

in your mind? What emotions does this loaded 

term evoke in you? For many it is the fragrant aroma of 

hot sizzling latkes and doughnuts; cold snowy streets illuminated 

by pinpricks of candlelight on windowsills; lively 

family gatherings replete with laughter and merriment; 

lazily spinning dreidels and piles of small change. 

But for those of us struggling with infertility, Chanukah 

is all of the above, plus one additional element: a mixture 

of sadness, longing, and yearning. For the sight of that one 

lone menorah, dusted off and polished year after year, 

bravely flickering all by itself, arouses a painful ache that is 

valiantly hidden out of sight with the absence of tangible 

reminders. 

Boruch Hashem, I have been zoche to enter the magical 

world of motherhood after close to a decade of hoping, 

praying, longing and waiting. That seemingly endless period 

of suspended animation was not easy by any stretch 

of the imagination. The pain was magnified in thousand 

fold whenever Yom Tov rolled around. Cherubic faces 

dancing on proud shoulders threw zingers on Simchas 

Torah. Costumed revelers of all shapes and sizes were a 

sight to avoid on Purim. Giggly afikomen-stealers and 

round-eyed mah-nishtana chanters were studiously ignored 

on Seder nights. Every Yom Tov basically centers 

around children. It was a hard pill to swallow, and a test of 

difficult proportions to survive a Yom Tov and emerge from 

those family get-togethers intact. Somehow, I always found 

ways to feel needed and important on those days when my 

56


57 

lap was empty and my heart even emptier. I would visit 

the nursing home on Simchas Torah, deliver shalach monos 

for my parents on Purim, and piously peruse varied commentaries 

in the hagadah on Pesach – anything to cover 

up the layers of pain in my heart whenever a child was the 

center of attention on a Yom Tov. 

But Chanukah…Chanukah was impossible to avoid. I 

couldn't lock myself in a room during the duration of family 

parties. I couldn't absorb myself in the food on my plate, 

or engage in a fascinating conversation on a mundane, neutral 

topic no one was interested in. On Chanukah I found 

myself at a loss- and lost. 

Bli ayin hora, my in-laws have several 

dozen grandchildren. The first couple 

of years into my marriage, those kids 

were relatively young and well behaved. 

But as the family multiplied and the 

ages grew, so did the noise level and 

whiny demands. It came to a point 

where the adults couldn't hear themselves 

think, much less speak. 

Chanukah gelt was distributed; raucous 

games of dreidel were played, with 

beaming parents cheering on their 

prodigy. Sisters-in-law compared their 

babies' weights, eating habits and clothing 

purchases, while I silently wished I 

were elsewhere. It wasn't unusual for 

four of them to spread out on the 

couch feeding their infants, while I studied my fingernails 

with great interest. 

We had good 

laughs when we 

opened our personal 

envelopes 

and found just 

what we had 

needed. 

What was a not-yet-blessed woman like me to do? 

Enter my Chanukah coping strategies. 

For starters, I am blessed with the most wonderful inlaws 

a person can find. While they understandably could 

not control the rowdiness or cuteness of their grandchildren, 

nor could they continuously steer the child –centered 

conversation into more neutral venues, they were ingenious 

when it came to gift giving. I did not have to sit 

through ten minutes of noisy unwrapping of twenty-something 

toys. I did not have to sit silently, achingly by, while 

my siblings-in-law received mega Lego towers while I had 

to make do with a sweater or a scarf. Instead, all of their 

children, myself included, received matching, thoughtful 

gifts. It was always something practical like a robe, a nightgown, 

a set of hand-sewn linen or a cleverly devised gift certificate 

for something each of us individually enjoyed. 

While Sister-In-Law A received a certificate for a "Move in 

Shabbos" and SIL B was awarded a piece of paper offering 

3 nights of babysitting and 3 hot meals, I was treated to a 

paid subscription to my favorite quarterly bookazine, Horizons. 

We had good laughs when we opened our personal 

envelopes and found just what we had 

needed. Towards the end of the festivities 

when Kiddie Krankiness had just 

about reached its zenith, and the frazzled 

parents began frantically pushing 

arms into coat sleeves and legs into 

boots, my sweet mother-in-law's hand 

would surreptitiously dart into the 

room-sized walk-in closet. As the families 

trooped out with calls of "goodnight" 

and see ya", they would receive a bulky 

shopping bag with invisible contents. 

Those were the gifts for the grandchildren, 

to be opened at home, far out of 

my sight. I cannot express how much I 

appreciated that quiet, inconspicuous 

gesture of sensitivity. The level of pain 

and discomfort I could have experienced had I been present 

during the gleeful gift opening was completely avoided. 

My in-laws truly went out of their way to try to make me 

feel part of the festivities without overtly displaying their 

empathy and turning this into a pity party. 

Of course, when it comes to infertility, every individual 

deals with such situations in their own unique way. Some 

people rather like to be part of the fray and do not mind 

being in the center of the kiddie bruhaha. I'm sure there 

are those who would feel offended if their mother-in-law 

would employ such a stealth tactic; they'd rather be treated 

like everyone else. Since I had made it clear throughout

Chizuk 


several earlier Chanukahs how difficult it was for me to be 

part of a child-blessed family with empty arms of my own, 

my in-laws devised this clever tactic to accomplish both 

sides of their complicated tasks; to be devoted grandparents 

to their fast multiplying brood 

while not stepping on the painful 

bunion on my toe. 

There were some Chanukahs where 

the conversations were so one track 

minded and too boring-slashuncomfortable 

for me to be around. At 

such times I would simply leave the dining 

room where the adults were chattering 

and singing, and joined the very 

children whose presence were tugging 

at my heart. There, I became a kid 

again, dancing and singing and swinging 

and conversing with anyone age twelve 

and down. I felt important; I felt 

needed; I was the aunt who lowered 

herself to their level, instead of the parent 

who was glad she was getting a 

break. 

In another attempt to feel involved 

in the party, I was usually unofficially in 

charge of the evening's entertainment. 

It was no easy feat. Eventually after 

much brain-wracking I would manage 

to come up with some form of madlibs or guess-the-name 

picture game with computer printouts. 

Oddly enough, at my parents' home, I felt quite the opposite. 

The grandchildren on my side of the family, in those 

Suddenly the 

topics of conversation 

were 

bearable, 

productive, and 

riveting. Everyone 

was in on 

the "in" jokes, no 

one had their 

midsection 

stared at 

days, could be counted on the fingers of one hand. It was 

not necessary to make a grand production of hiding the 

gifts, since there were so few gifts. One year I devised a plan 

of my own to feel more involved: I purchased inexpensive 

trinkets and gave my nieces and 

nephews little present of my own. Unfortunately 

some of them feel flat, as I 

wasn't all that up to speed on the fads of 

the current generation, and many a 

niece pouted at the "worthless" gadgets 

she had gotten…. 

After all was said and done, and I had 

survived the family parties intact, there 

was one more beacon of light beckoning 

in the distance, a thin thread of rope to 

hang onto. A brave A T.I.M.E. soul quietly 

scheduled a Chanukah gathering at 

the home of the compatriot. A bunch of 

us got together, and there we sang, 

played fun games, and kidded around. 

Suddenly the topics of conversation 

were bearable, productive, and riveting. 

Everyone was in on the "in" jokes, no one 

had their midsection stared at, and all of 

us were equally successfully putting our 

pain aside for one night. It was 

Chanukah after all, and the candles were 

flickering brightly. Thank you A TIME 

for making Chanukah easier on all of us and always being 

there when we need a place to call home. 

May we all be zocheh to see light, and may this year be 

the easiest Chanukah ever for all of us! 

58

Chizuk 

Rays 

of 

Light 


The light of Chanukah is the light beyond the sun. It is the light 

beyond nature, the light of miracles. 

Illuminated by the light of the Chanukah menorah, we see that 

anything is possible. 

Imagine for a moment that you have walked into a magic store, 

where they are selling special flashlights equipped with magic lights 

of different kinds. You can buy the light of science; when you point 

that flashlight at your hand, you see not a hand, but cells and blood 

vessels and tendons and ligaments. Or you can buy the light of art, 

which when you shine on your hand illuminates it as if it were a 

painting by Leonardo Da Vinci – you see form, color and texture. 

You’re thoroughly enjoying trying out the different flashlights, 

and then you see one labeled “the light of Chanukah.” Your curiosity 

is piqued. What will you see in that light? 

60


61 

It is interesting that according to Jewish law, when we light the 

Chanukah menorah we are prohibited from using its light – from 

reading by it, or doing some other task by it. Instead, we are commanded 

to simply look at the light. All year long we use the light 

around us to help us see, but on Chanukah we focus on seeing the 

light itself. We are to fill our eyes with the light of Chanukah so 

when Chanukah is over, we will continue to see our lives in this special 

light. 

When Shlomo Hamelech wrote: “There is nothing new under 

the sun,” that refers to the light of nature. 

The Zohar, however, teaches that everything is new when seen 

in the light beyond the sun. 

The light of Chanukah is the light beyond the sun. It is the light 

beyond nature, the light of miracles. In the light of nature, to which 

Shlomo Hamelech was referring, nothing is new. But in the light of 

miracles everything is new and novel. 

When I point the light of science at my hand I see cells and 

veins. When I point the light of art at my hand I see form, shape 

and color. But when I point the light of Chanukah, I see a miracle. 

We fill our eyes with the light of Chanukah for eight days, so that 

when the holiday is over, we see that everything, even nature, is actually 

a miracle. 

Albert Einstein once said: “There are two ways of looking at 

the world – either you see nothing as a miracle or you see everything 

as a miracle.” 

Greek Tragedy 

The Jews see everything as a miracle. The Yevonim saw nothing 

as a miracle. To the Yevonim, a miracle was an absurdity. To them 

only that which is reasonable, logical, and rational can be real. Miracles 

are illogical and therefore not possible. 

The Yevonim could never access the light of Chanukah, the light 

of miracles, because they only believed in the light of reason. To 

them the world always existed; it was never created. History was 

an inevitable process, the present linked to the past and the necessary 

outcome of the past. Nothing unusual can happen; history 

will march on, each event a mere consequence of its predecessors. 

Similarly, their view of G-d (or rather gods), was as super-beings 

detached from the world, contemplating themselves. Their gods 

didn’t care about man. For the Yevonim, nothing is new under the 

sun, what was always will be. Thus miracles are impossible. 

The light of Chanukah is the 

light beyond the sun. It is the 

light beyond nature, the light 

of miracles 

This explains why the Yevonim were so irritated by Yiddishkeit 

that they decided to wipe it out. Judaism professes that Hashem 

created the world, cares about man, and invites man to be his partner 

in making history and perfecting the world. The Yevonim assumed 

that the world was perfect already. Everything was as it 

should be. The world was eternal, history was inevitable, G-d was 

impersonal. No expectations of miracles, no hope. Life is a Greek 

tragedy. 

Rabbi Joseph Solovetichik explained that the difference between 

the jewish perspective of history and the world’s perspective 

of history is that the world generally sees history as unfolding out 

of the past, as if the past is pushing history forward. But Yiddishkeit 

believes the opposite, viewing history from the perspective that 

the future is the impetus for current events. We believe that all is 

planned, and any single happening was orchestrated precisely with 

the intent of pulling us closer to the desired endpoint. 

Light Of Hope 

If history veers from the predestined road, as it is sometimes 

prone to do with man as a partner in determining the course of 

events, then Hashem might interfere for the sake of the future, preventing 

the natural transition from past into present. The present 

will not be determined by the past, but by the necessary future. 

That’s when miracles happen. 

One example of this is the survival of the Jewish people, which 

historians have puzzled over for centuries. The Yidden should not 

be here. We broke all the historical rules. No other nation has survived 

under such conditions. We are a people of miracles who believe 

in Hashem of miracles. And if Hashem wills it, something 

radical and new can happen at any moment. We always have reason 

to be hopeful. 

This is why we light candles on Chanukah, and bring that special 

light into our lives each year.

Chizuk 


Because the ultimate expression 

of love and kindness 

is not in doing what I have to 

do, but in doing what I don’t 

have to do. 

In fact, it is only because the Maccabees had the light of miracles 

already in their souls that they attempted to accomplish the impossible. 

A small group of weaklings stood up against the warriors 

of Greece and won! But they knew it was possible because Hashem 

created the world and is free to do as He pleases. 

Their victory was a miracle itself, so why perform the additional 

nes of keeping the menorah miraculously lit for eight days? It seems 

most unnecessary. Okay, the Maccabees reclaimed the Bais Hamikdash 

in Yerushalayim from the Greeks and when they went to light 

the Menorah there was only enough oil for one day. And yes, unbelievable 

that oil lasted for eight days until more oil could be pressed 

and brought in. But this doesn’t seem like a very important miracle. 

If they hadn’t been able to light that Menorah they would not have 

fallen apart. They’d have to wait another eight days, and would that 

have been so terrible? 

That is the definition of miracle, however, it is unnecessary. Natural 

phenomena are necessary. If I put a drop of ink into water, it 

will necessarily dissolve. That’s nature. But a miracle is just the opposite. 

It doesn’t have to be. Indeed, in the light of nature it shouldn’t 

be. But it is because Hashem wants it to be. Hashem needs no reason 

to make a miracle. Hashem wants to, and Hashem does it. That’s 

why Chanukah is such an incredible holiday of miracle, because it is 

the holiday which celebrates the essence of miracle, the essence of 

the unnecessary. 

When you look at the world in the light of Chanukah, you realize 

that everything in the world is unnecessary; that even you are unnecessary. 

And yet the world is here and you are here. Celebrating 

the unnecessary is really the celebration of love. Because the ultimate 

expression of love and kindness is not in doing what I have to 

do, but in doing what I don’t have to do. If I dent your car and then 

offer to pay for it, that is not an act of love. That is the law. But if 

one day I spontaneously decide to wash your car, that is an act of 

love. 

Judaism believes that we are here because Hashem, in His infinite 

love, created us. It is a miracle that we are here, and on Chanukah, 

more than at any other time of the year, we marvel at that. We see 

ourselves in the light of miracles, in the light of hope. 

In the light of science and in the light of art we see aspects, and 

only some aspects, of what exists. But in the light of Chanukah, in 

the light of miracles, we see that anything is possible. We see the 

triumph of Hashem’s love. 


On the first night of Chanukah all eight candle holders stand before 

you. Yet, you light only one. Tomorrow night you will light two. 

You know that eventually, you will light all eight. From this we learn 

a powerful lesson: 

Move step by step in life. 

Take things on at a pace you can handle. 

Always grow. 

Always keep moving ahead. 

If you did one good deed yesterday, do two today. 

Your ultimate achievement is always one step ahead. 

62

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Chizuk 

Light of Miracles 


The student’s orientation 

A university professor challenged his students with this 

question. “Did God create everything that exists?” A student 

bravely replied, “Yes”, He did! 

“God created everything?” the professor asked. “Yes, sir,” 

the student replied. 

The professor answered, “If God created everything, 

then god created evil, since evil exists. And according to the 

principal that our works define who we are, then God is 

evil.” The student became quiet before such an answer. 

The professor was quite pleased with himself, and 

boasted to the students that he had proven once more that 

the faith in God is a myth. 

Another student raised his hand and said, “Can I ask you 

a question, professor?” “Of course,” replied the professor. 

The student stood up and asked, “Professor, does cold 

exist?” 

“What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have 

you never been cold?” The students snickered at the young 

man’s question. 

The young man replied, “In fact, sir, cold does not exist 

according to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is, 

in reality, the absence of heat. Every body or object is susceptible 

to study when it has or transmits energy. Absolute 

zero (-460 degrees F) is the total absence of heat. All matter 

becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. 

Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe 

hoe we feel if we have no heat. 

The student continued. “Professor, does darkness exist?” 

The professor responded, “Of course it does.” 

The student replied, “Once again you are wrong, sir. 

Darkness does not exist either. Darkness is, in reality, the 

absence of light. We can study light, but not darkness. In 

fact, we can use Newton’s prism to break white light into 

many colors and study the various wave lengths of each 

color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light 

64


G-d, therefore, sends us snow; contemplating snow’s profound 

meaning helps feel connected to Him once again. 

65 

can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How 

can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure 

the amount of light present. Isn’t this correct? Darkness is 

a term used by man to describe what happens when there 

is no light present.” 

Finally, the young man asked the professor, “Sir, does evil 

exist?” Now uncertain, the professor responded, “Of course, 

as I have already said. We see it everyday. It is in the daily 

example of man’s inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude 

of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations 

are nothing else but evil.” 

To this the student replied, “Evil dose not exist, sir, or at 

least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence 

of God. It is just like darkness and cold – a word that man 

has created to describe the absence of God. God did not 

create evil. Evil is not like faith, or love, that exist just as does 

light and heat. Evil is the result of what happens when man 

does not have God’s love present in his heart. It’s like the 

cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that 

comes when there is no light.” 

The professor sat down. The young student’s name was 

Albert Einstein. 

The Mystical White Snow 

R’ Baruch Leff/aish.com 

Few experiences in life compare with waking up in the 

morning after a snowfall and looking outside. The sight is 

stunning, the landscape glorious and beautiful, and the 

feeling one has is nothing less than sublime. Only after 

modernity with its high-powered engines, tampers with 

winters wonder, does the snow become filthy and unpleasant. 

Where does this feeling of awe come from? What is this 

unique creation - snow – that only appears in the winter? 

First, another question. Why are all the biblical holidays 

crowded into the spring and summer? Wouldn’t it 

have made more sense to space the holidays more evenly 

throughout the calendar year? 

The Maharal, The great 16th Century philosopher, 

comments that the Jewish calendar can be divided into 

two sections. Half of the year, from Passover until Sukkoth 

(spring through summer), has the force of spiritual Ohr 

(light) as its primary power, while choshech (darkness) 

rules the fall and winter months. 

The implications are clear. The season for spiritual 

Light is the spring/summer and it is only then that one 

can actualize the greatest amount of spiritual energy. 

Fall/winter is a time for Spiritual Darkness and is not ideal 

for tremendous spiritual growth. In fact, the Maharal actually 

describes the winter as being “outside of the realm 

of time.” This is because winter does not offer growth, neither 

agriculturally nor spiritually, thus in a certain sense 

the winter cannot be acknowledged as being part of any 

“real existence” due to its lack of spiritual developmental 

value. 

We can now understand the uneven arrangement of 

the biblical calendar. The holidays mentioned in the Torah 

all take place during the spring/summer months, because 

it is then that the potential for a real, profound, spiritual 

growth exists due to the power of ohr (light). G-d wanted 

us to actualize growth during the summer and then to 

maintain that growth during the winter. 

The Maharal describes snow as being an illuminating 

force that is tantamount to spiritual Light. People on 

earth need to be reminded of God’s involvement in man’s 

affairs. In the winter we do not experience biblical holidays. 

It is our lowest point of spiritual inspiration. 

G-d, therefore, sends us snow; contemplating snow’s 

profound meaning helps feel connected to Him once 

again. Snow descends and covers the ground as if to 

shout, “Remember that it is G-d that is constantly “covering” 

the ground and providing everything in our live. 

Draw closer to Him!” 

So the next time it snows, Instead of being upset that 

you’re going to be late for work, be reminded of the deeper 

truths of this world. It is wintertime; time to bask in the 

glory of G-d, as reflected in the pure, white snow.

Chizuk 

These elements of Chanukah – the eight flickering flames, the 

miracle of the oil, the light shining into the dark street – beckon 

us to connect to the power of our soul. 


Listen to the Flames 

www.meaningfullife.com 

If we look closely at the details of Chanukah – the 

Menorah, the history, the number of flames – they can reveal 

the nature of our soul. 

As the sun sets and the shadow of night descend, we 

kindle the Menorah, creating light in the darkness. Listen 

carefully to the flames and they will tell you a story, a story 

that will empower you to live a more profound, meaningful 

life, enabling you to rise up toward challenge and overcome 

difficulty. Sit near the flames and study them quietly. 

“The flame of G-d is the soul of a human being,” says the 

Torah. As flames warm and illuminate their environment, 

so too you can use your soul to infuse life with warmth and 

light. Unlike all other physical entities that are drawn earthward, 

the dancing flames flicker upward defying gravity. 

Likewise your soul, not satisfied with mere physical comforts, 

aspires up toward something beyond. 

Chanukah is not just about lighting up our own lives. By 

placing the Menorah in the window of your home or at you 

doorpost, you allow the light to radiate into the dark street, 

illuminating your surroundings. Chanukah reminds us of 

our ability and responsibility to affect the world around us 

and prompts us to shine light into the lives of others with 

daily acts of goodness and kindness. Just as a flame lights 

another without diminishing itself, so too by sharing yourself 

you become enhanced rather than diminished. Every 

day we must increase the illumination of ourselves and our 

environment, each day adding another good deed, lighting 

an additional flame. 

Chanukah tells yet a deeper story, a story that penetrates 

the darker shadows of our lives. The Menorah shines 

a tunnel back through time to the aftermath of a great victory 

in which a small band of Jews defeated the might of 

the Greek Empire. Amongst the debris of the desecrated 

Temple, the Macabeem searched ceaselessly until they 

found a single sealed jar of oil that miraculously lasted for 

eight days. When you feel defeated, when your inner Temple 

has desecrated and there is no oil to be found, you have 

the power to reach deeper inside and discover light. The 

soul always remains intact like a ‘pilot light’. When you light 

your Menorah under such difficult circumstances, creating 

light in the darkest moment, that light can never be extinguished. 

The light that has dealt with challenge, that has 

transformed pain into growth, is a light that transcends nature 

and transforms darkness into light. 

This power to transform darkness must come from a 

place beyond the conventional. We therefore light eight 

candles; the mystical number of transcendence and infinity, 

one beyond the number seven that represents the natural 

cycle. In order to pierce darkness with light, you can’t just 

rely on the natural, you need to reach a deeper resourced 

which is the eighth dimension. 

These elements of Chanukah – the eight flickering 

flames, the miracle of the oil, the light shining into the dark 

street – beckon us to connect to the power of our soul. 

Our soul rises like a flame toward that which transcends itself, 

not only repelling darkness as is the nature of all light, 

but transforming the darkness into light. 

Eternal lights 

adapted from ‘Touched by a Story’ 

Yechiel Spero 

Candle lighting time appeared at the bottom of The 

New York Times front page, from the mid ‘90s till June ’99, 

sponsored by a philanthropist for $1800 per week. The year 

2000 had three special millennium issues. The New York 

Times ran three different front pages; January 1st, 1900, January 

1st, 2000, anj January 1st, 2100. Candle lighting time 

appeared on the front page of the January 1st, 2100, Friday 

newspaper. The production manager was asked about this 

inclusion. 

“We don’t know what will happen in the year 2100. It is 

impossible 

to predict the future. But of one thing you can be certain, 

that in the year 

2100, Jewish women will be lighting Shabbas candles!” 

66

Explore the phenomenon of light. To the prisoner in a dungeon, light is the bare bulb hanging over his head. To the 

craftsman, it is the lamp illuminating his work. To the vacationer, it is the brilliant sun. To the scholar, it is the wisdom 

of the Torah. Which is the true light? We may well say that the answer is relative, or that the true light is the sun, and the 

others are either approximations or allegories. But that is not true. The spiritual person knows that the only true light is 

Torah – G-d’s wisdom. All the others are material representations, just as a child’s mathematics beads and blocks are but 

symbols of real numbers and more mature concepts. 

Excerpt from the Artscroll Mesorah Series on Rosh Hashana.

Lingo Guide for Beginners 

2ww = Two week wait after ovulation 

AF = Aunt Flo (flow) A.K.A., your period 

AI = Artificial Insemination 

AO = Anovulation 

ART = Assisted Reproductive Technology 

ASA = Anti-Sperm Antibody 

BB = Bulletin Board 

BBT = Basal Body Temperature 

BCP = Birth Control Pills 

B/W = Bloodwork 

CD = Cycle day 

CM = Cervical Mucus 

DPO = Days Post-Ovulation 

Dx = Diagnosis 

E2 = Estradiol (Estrogen) 

EPT = Early Pregnancy Test 

ET = Embryo Transfer (IVF) 

FET = Frozen Embryo Transfer 

FSH = Follicle Stimulating Hormone 

HPT = Home Pregnancy Test 

IF = Infertility 

IUI = Intrauterine Insemination 

IVF = In Vitro Fertilization 

LAP = Laparoscopy 

LH = Luteinizing Hormone 

LP = Luteal Phase 

LPD = Luteal Phase Defect 

MC or m/c = Miscarriage 

O or OV = Ovulation 

OPT = Ovulation Predictor Test 

OTC = Over the Counter 

PCOS = Polycystic Ovary Syndrome 

PCT = Postcoital Test 

PI = Primary Infertility 

RE = Reproductive Endocrinologist 

SA = Semen Analysis 

SI = Secondary Infertility 

TMI = Too much information! 

TTC = Trying to Conceive 

UR = Urologist 

US or u/s = Ultrasound 

917-783-9514

Chizuk 

FORUM 


Mindy 

Oct 12 2003, 01:11 PM 

Mrs. Kahan passed away on Yom Tov. She was 96 years old. 

Mrs. Kahan lost 7 children in the war. She remarried after the 

war, but never had more children. She founded the acclaimed 

Satmar bikur cholim out of her own kitchen. Today, this amazing 

organization delivers food to several hundred patients a day in 

dozens of Manhattan hospitals. She didn’t leave behind any 

children, but left behind tons of mitzvos to call her own. Her 

husband's son related this amazing story during the levaya: that 

when Mr. Kahan passed away 10 years ago, he left behind a clause 

in his will instructing his sons, in the eventuality of their 

stepmother's death, to keep her yahrzeit as if it were their real 

mother. Ironically and stunningly, SHE PASSED AWAY ON HER 

HUSBAND'S YAHRZEIT -- and therefore of course, her yahrzeit will 

be kept. 

My question to you is as follows; not everyone is cut out to be 

a Mrs. Kahan. Or a Sarah Schenierer. Not everyone is made of the 

stuff to head organizations, to make a real difference in the world. 

Not everyone is made to volunteer with the sick, with children, or 

whatever. How many times do people even on this A TIME site 

write in essence that people without children are meant to 

accomplish big things and can leave their mark in this world, a la 

Sarah Schenierer. What about those of us who don't have the skills, 

stamina, money, or where-with-all to do any of this? What are we 

here for, and what will we be remembered for? 

Rochel A 

Oct 12 2003, 01:46 PM 

You must have something that you can contribute that would 

make you smile - when we give, we really receive so much more. 

Not everything has to be full of glamour and yichus. Think what 

you, with your life could do i.e.: teach kallahs, cook for older 

people.. (especially out of town i.e. out of Brooklyn), every 

organization needs people for so many things that make a 

difference. Calling for the chevra kaddisha, etc etc etc. It is so 

fulfilling, you must try. It also helps take your mind off things. I 

know after a 'situation' it is good not to have the time to sit and 

cry for too long. It's part of what Hashem wants from us: to be 

functioning human beings. 

70


71 

Yanky 

Oct 12 2003, 03:27 PM 

Let me take issue with one part of your post; no one who 

accomplished anything started out with the skills, stamina, and 

money at first. All that came later - especially the money. Asking 

"show me the money" up front is a copout. 

Life’sgreat 

Oct 12 2003, 07:07 PM 

You could do little things. You don't have to be remembered 

by the 'big' people, or have a name that will be on everyone's lips. 

You can have a name among your family, with your nieces and 

nephews. I know that my nieces and nephews know that they 

always have a place with me. They all have a special place in my 

heart, and they feel it. As they grow older, they feel more and more 

that they can come to me. And IY"H when they hit the teens, and 

life becomes confusing, they will feel comfy enough to come to 

me, and TALK. That's a real good feeling. You can have a good 

name with your neighbors. You're right, not everyone has the 

money, and all the rest of the stuff, but not everyone is meant to 

BE a Mrs. Kahan!! Not everyone is meant to be a Sara Shenirer. 

Some people are meant to simply overcome their nisyonas in life, 

in their private life. In their family life.... 

My grandmother founded the Bikur Cholim in Miami, Florida, 

and she had all the reasons to say I can't. She was there with a sick 

husband, after two heart attacks, and no money... Little kids back 

home in NY. Yet she did it. She did a LOT over there... No one starts 

big. But then again, as I said- Not everyone's tafkid is to be 'big'!! 

Mee 

Oct 13 2003, 01:33 AM 

Everyone has the strength to do GREAT things- I just don't 

think we look that deep inside ourselves and find it but it is in 

there. 

Even small things are Big things-- don't ever underestimate the 

'small' things you do. 

Just recently there was a column in the Hamodia as well as a 

website and a tape I just received from AJOP (if anyone is 

interested please let me know- I have many extra copies of this 

tape) of stories of "SMALL" things people have done but have a 

"BIG" affect on people. 

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF KINDNESS!!!!! 

BTW- Just a small plug for something 'small' I like to let people 

know they can do that has such a "BIG" effect on people - Partners 

in Torah-------It's learning something you want on your own time 

with someone who does not know as much (or nothing at all). - If 

anyone wants more info on this please let me know or go to 

www.partnersintorah.com. BTW - I know first hand stories of how 

much learning with someone can do "BIG" things for someone.

Medical 

Rabbincal Guidance 

Institute of Halacha and Technology 

A project of A TIME 

Available to you exclusively through A TIME, the Institute of Halacha and Technology provides complete Rabbinical guidance to all 

who seek advice and authority on issues pertaining to gynecology, reproductive medicine, high-risk obstetrics and related medical 

procedures. Under the auspices of Rabbi Binyomin Landau, Rabbi Ausch, Rabbi Shmuel Fuerst and Rabbi Shmuel Meyer Katz, a team of the 

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72

Medical 

Nurses 

Specialty nurses provided by A TIME are available to administer injections when necessary. As a member, you are welcome 

to make use of this inimitable service. 

The following nurses are available to give injections: 

CALIFORNIA: 

Encino Farzaneh Tabibian, RN (818) 906-8586 NF 

Sacramento Judy Weinstein, RN (917) 488-3603 Fee 

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(410) 363-3158 

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74

Nurses 

Chana R. Rubinfeld, RN 

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75 

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(347) 439-4244 

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Esty Caplan, RN (732) 367-5415 

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Tziporah Joseph, RN 

Adina Kalmanowitz, RN 

Ahuva Kleinman, RN 

(732) 363-5883 NF 

(732) 367-4433 NF 

(732) 901-7350 NF 

Esther Pernikoff, RN (732) 901-4412 

Chana Tropper, RN 

Libby Weiss, RN 

(732) 730-0808 NF 

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Long Branch Jacqueline Gemal, RN (732) 229-3292 D/O 

Passaic Shalva Hirsch, RN 973) 202-8969 NF 

Goldy Malek 

Yossi Malek (for Male) 

Sarah Schiffman, RN 

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Bronx 

Bronx Linda Torres, RN (A/S) (718) 513-0116 Fee 

Riverdale Sarah Adelson, RN (347) 275-6166 NF 

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Sandra Goodman, NP (718) 543-6809 

Gila Weinstein, MD (718) 207-0862

Medical 

Nurses 

Yonkers Rina Ginat, RN (914) 562-4433 NF 


Brooklyn 

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(718) 837-2970 

Boro Park 

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Call 8:30AM or 5:00pm (takes insurance coverage) 

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LONG ISLAND: 

76

Nurses 

Cedarhurst Toni Dittus, RN (516) 612-2160 NF 

Great Neck Betty Bandary, RN (516) 773-6174 

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Lawrence Rivky Fischer, CNA,CPT (516) 239-0219 NF 

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77 

MANHATTAN: 

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QUEENS: 

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Rochel Lieberman, CM Pager (718) 206-6081 NF #16460

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79 

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nptbh uutx vty grphbsi sh ngfyhdg prtdrto ph/sh/g;//// 

tz sh gxi ztk zhhi far/// 

"vadjv"/ 

muo anhhfkgi/// 

vkuuth uugi thl vtc gpgx cgxgr mu ztdi' bgo ti nhhi 

crfv tz ztkxy vtci t haugv ceruc/ 

thr uuhhytd tui shr btr njze zhhi th"v/ 

tuhxanugxi nhy shhi uuhhc shhbg aygrubdgi' uugxyu zgi uuh 

dkhekhl zh uugy zhhi shr mu vgkpi' tui zh uugy uuhhbhdgr rgsi pui 

gy. strpxy dhhi tuhpwi rhfyhdi pkt./ gx thz duy ztkxy 

vtci ngbyai zhl surfmurgsi/ tuhc phkxyu tz su egbxy gx 

kgcyx muztngi' 

••• 

yrtfy trhhi' uutky thr ctaukshdy thhgr uuhhc' tuhc zh 

uutky dguugi sh prtckgo? tuusth bhay/ dgsgbey' gy. 

••• 

har fj nr, p/ ptr gx trhhbahei 

muuhh uuhfyhdg hubdgkhhy vtci muuhai zhl dganugxy thcgr t shbgr pui "thh yhho"' tui sh anugx vty zhl ptreuuhgry 

thcgr "thbpgryhkgryh ctvtbskubdgi"/ uuhhzbshd zhhgrg egbygbhxi thi sgo pgks' thz thhbgr nxchr ptr muuhhyi sh ngfyhdehhy 

pui sh yhhgrg prtdrto uutx sh etpkx bumi' uutx thz xpgmhgk shzhhby ptr sh muuge' tuhxmurgfbgi uugi ngi ztk 

bgngi atyx tui ngshmhbgi' tui neuv egkgbsgr/ sgr yhhgrg prtdrto vhhxy thh/ uuh/ g;/ gx vty dgntfy sh zgkcg et- 

bgci nhr zgbgi dgzhmi muuhh pruhgi' vgr thl uuh thhbgr prgdy sgo muuhhyi: ptruutx strpi ngi vtci "vadjv"? gbypgry 

sgr muuhhygr' uutx vhhxy? vtxy stl prhgr dgvgry' tz ngi thz "ac, thi vtxphytk" str; ngi vtci t dgvgrhdg vadjv' 

zh vty tuhxdgrgfby muuhai zhhgrg xgruuhxgx' stx muaygki "ac, bgci sh vtxphytk" uutx "gh/ yhho" vgkpy truhx ptr 

uugr gx strpi gx bumi/ apgygr vty zh tuhl tuhxdgrfby tz "gh/ yhho" vty t xpgmhgkg etnhyg' uutx dhy zhl tp nhy 

chho "yahhbhz teagi" pui gh/ yhho" thi ctrt ptre' muuhai s yuhzgbygr thbgo dgpteyi ztk "gyr, jh" chi thl dgzhmi 

tui tuhxdgvgry sh rgsg pui "nr, rtzgi" ,jhw/ thbnhyi thrg uugrygr vty zh nxchr dguugi sh tuhpyugi pui "gh/ yhho" tui 

thl uutubya thhl phk vmkjv' tui ztkxy ceruc dgvtkpi 

th"v uugri nhy tkgo duyi/ 

chhsg"/ uutx t jhkue uungbx auks gx thz' t stbe tz su 

bgnxy gx tuh; shhbg pkhhmgx tui bhay tuh; nhhbg//// 

thz sh napjv bhay tzuh abgk dguutexi/ hgsg ntk uutx stx 

ptxhry ztd thl tho: tz gx gx thz ctagry dguugi "ptr tubz 

chz vhhby' btfsgo uutx nhr zgbgi auhi dgvtkpi dguutri 

cjxsh vao' egi nhhi nti vtci akgfyg dgphki' tz mukhc tho 

vtci trtpdgarhci sh dgahfyg thbgo "ngbgx 

etrbgr""egbxy pui stry agpi txtl jhzue th"v/ 

tk. t uuhhc pui t nti uutx vty tuhl dgvty t prtckgho' 

tcgr c"v tubz vtci nhr auhi dgzgi sh gbsg pubgo yubgk/ nhr 

jhzue 


82

muyrtdi tuh; t ahhbg pkt./ 

uugi thl zg nhhi uuhhcx mucrtfbehhy' aphr tz thl uuhk thr ztdi' 

tz zh ztk yrgpi tzt thhbgo uutx egi zhhi t ytyg ptr ehbsgr! 

tch zh ztk uugri vgph! thl uuhk thr tkgx yui thr muprhsi 

muaygki' bhytntk ehhi uutetmhg egi thl nhl grkuhci thr 

gx ctsgry nhr ngr' tz nhhi uuhhc thz tzuh mucrtfi' tsgr nhhi 

nmc/ thl uuhk nhl bgngi arhhgi pui mucrtfbehhy! txtl ntk 

thl uuhk dgci ptr nhhi uuhhc tkgx duyx uutx ngi egi btr 

dgci' tcgr thl chi tuhxdgktpi sgrpui/ thl uuhhx bhay uutx 

thl uuhhygr stuugbgi? thl arhhc sh uugrygr nhy yrgri thi 

nhhbg tuhdi' gx thz nhr stl tzuh auugr! 

stx mu txtl ntk' uuh tzuh egi thl yteg ntfi tz thl ztk 

bhay ptrkhri nhhi tnubv? nhy tzt ptrkuhrbehhy' uuh tzuh egi 

thl cgy gbe crjnho' hgsg gmv uutky nhr dguugi t dguutkshdg 

vhk;/ thl uuhhx tz vah", egi tkgx yui' thl vgr auhi 

tbsgrg gmu,/ vehmur' thl chi ptrkuhri/ 

aygbshd truo/ vkuuth tz thl uugk egbgi thhbgo tstpyhri' 

tcgr thl vtc pauy bhay sh dgky sgrmu/ nhhi uuhhc uuhk yui 

2( thl vtc t khhshd ktl thi nhhi vtr.' uutu thl aphr ti 

tunctarhhckhfgr uuhhytd' tui t nuvyktzg dhhxy bgny nhl 

njze mu zhhi/ thl uuhhx tz vao h,crl vty zhhi uugd' tcgr uuh 

tzuh egi thl tuhpvgri thr uuhhytd?/ 

1( uugi nhhi uuhhc uuhhby mu nhr' tuh; nhhbg pkhhmgx' phk thl 

uuh gx thz yrgri pui ckuy/ thl vtc dtrbhay nhy uutx thr 

thl dhh surl "pgryhkgyh" auhi ptr phr htr' thl vtc gpgx 

t prtckgo tui nhhi uuhhytd thz uuh ptkdgbs: 

dgvty mu tho/ sgrptr thz uuhfyhd tz su ztkxy uuhxi' tz tphku 

shhi uuhhc rgsy zhl tp nhy uuhhytd' nhhby gx bhay tz zh ctaukshdy 

thhl/ thl chi zhfgr sgrhi/ 

bhay - tphku ptr t xgeubsg - ctaukshdy nhhi nti' gr vty 

bhay dgvty ehhi tvbud uutx ptrt nhykhhs dgphki thl vtc 

thl vtc bhay dgyrtfy tz gr phky tz thl ctaukshdy tho' 

tui tz gr gxy zhl tuh; thbuuhhbhd/ ctn, vtc thl ehhbntk 

thl uuhk tz su ztkxy uuhxi' tz shhi uuhhc ctaukshdy bhay 

shl ptr thr uuhhytd/ thl pkgd tuhl uuhhbgi ptr nhhi nti' tui 

euso fk' nhhi vtr. dhhy tuhx ptr shr' gx thz zhhgr vtr. 

rhhxhhbsg uugrygr uutx su vtxy dgarhci/ 

st vgkpi/ 

tbyaukshdy ptrwi trhhbeungi st' tcgr uuh ctks thl chi 

t pruh mu t nti nhy sh zgkcg prtckgo' phk thl tz thl egi 

••• 

bhay/ thl vt; uugxy yrgpi ti truhxdtbd pubgo auugr ptrpktbygryi 

uugd ceruc/ 

thl chi zhhgr thcgrdgbungi pui shhi mgr uutx su dhhxy tk. 

surl' gx yuy nhr uuhh sh auugrg nmcho nhy uutx su nuzy vtbskgi/ 

vkuuth uugi thl vtc uugi gpgx t crhkhtby uutry shr 

mu ztdi' uutx uutky shl dgntfy cgxgr aphri/ tcgr thl vtc 

••• 


83 

בין אדם 

לחבירו 

איבערגעזעצט פונעם ענגלישן פארום

jhzue 

ahey vapgu, yucu,/ 

thi vnmc uugi gx ptry bhay thi kgci tkgx tzuh dktyhd/ 

sh vtr. uugry uuh ptraytpy tui ptrektpy' ngi zhfy uuh tzuh 

stx kgrby tubz t yhpi khnus' tz thi tkg mhhyi tui tunaygbsi 

str; t ths truhx zufi sh chxgkg khfy thi sh phbxygrg 

jafu,' tui kuhci sh tuhcgraygr sgrptr/uugi tkgx truo 

zgvy tuhx auutr.' ngi kgfyxy tui uutry ptr t haugv ztk 

mu strfcrgfi yuhgri' tui ngi zgvy bhay ehhi tuhxuugd truhx 

pubgo ekgo sr; t ths tuhxyrgpi tuh; 

ngi zhfi tphku wuuh nhy khfyw tuh; uutx mu kuhci sh ctagpgr; 

ptr dgzuby- hgsgx tcr ctzubsgr uutx 

uutx mu stbei sgrbtl egi ngi cgyi tuh; 

uuhhygr/ 

pubemhtbhry' prbxv' jcru,t' t pkti 

uutx vty zl duy tuhxdgtrcy' gxi mu 

tui tuhc dgsgbey 

ngi yteg aygbshd 

nhr zgvi stl uuh sus vnkl ztdy thi 

,vhkho )etphyk dw' pxue tw( "nznur ksus 

stx zgy t/t/uu/ )uugi ngi zufy yrgpy 

ngi gbsktz' uuhhk sgr tuhcgraygr thz 

neur vjxs(/ 

ccrju npbh tcakuo cbu"- t dgztbd uugi 

gr thz tbktpi pi zhhi zui tcakuo' prgdi 

ktnhr tuhxbhmi sh khfyhdg ygd' zumbshd 

chh sh vtpgbubdxpukg jbufv kgfy' 

jz"k sh eaht; uutx thz stx dgztbd thi 

tzt g, mrv? btr sgr tuhcgraygr vty 

mu kuhci tui stbegi sgo tuhcgrayi ptr 

zhhi phk duyx muo fkk tui muo pry tui 

mu kuhci' yuvy sgr 

ctagpgr zhl sgrctrgngi 

tui ahey 

vapgu, yucu,/ 

dgvty dgztdy ptrtuhx ptr sus tz thhbgr 

pui zhhi ayuc uugy nurs zhhi thi tho 

czfu, sgo ztk sgr druhxgr ctagpgr 

gpgbgi sh euutk pui vapgu, yucu, tz 

tui sus vnkl vty nurt dgvty tz stx 

uugy zhhi t ebgfy uutx uugy zhhi 

nhr ztki tho uuhhygr egbgi kuhci tuh; 

tpgbg jxsho tui haugu, / 

ragu,wshd mu tho' uugi gr vty dgzgvi 

tz gx thz zhhi zuvi vty gr dgpubgi t phbygkg yrhhxy thi zhhi 

sh jz"k crgbdgi tui nxf, ac, s; f"d uugr gx ntfy 

ahhbg ebuhyi uugy vtci ehbsgr ,knhsh jfnho/ ra"h th stx 

druhxg mrv' tz ptry vty t zui gpgx rjnbu, tuh; t ytyi' 

uugy sh nrhsv zhhi gyuutx khhfygr p tr tho/ btl sh tuhcbsgrntbyg 

kuhc uugrygr' zgvy ngi uuh sus vnkl arhhy muo 

tuhcgrayi; "vw nv rcu mrh "-gr thz n,pkk tuh; zhhbg mru,/// 

npra tz stx dhhy truh; tuh; ac, khfy tui jbufv khfy gx 

thz t mhhy nxudk tuhxmucgyi duyg ehbsgr/ 

Aaron Weinreb, MD 

Board Certified in Obstetrics and Gynecology 

Specializing in Minimally 

Invasive Laparoscopic Surgery, Including: 

Laparoscopic Ovarian Cystectomy 

Laparoscopic Hysterectomy 

Laproscopic and Hysteroscopic Myomectomy 

Solo-practitioner offering personalized 

and individualized Obstetrical Care. 

NYM Associates 

1309 Ave J Brooklyn, NY 11230 718-677-1710 

Most Insurances Accepted 

Including HMO Medicaid

ufv thz t mhhy pui haugu,' thi t mhhy uutx thz 

ctayhny dguutri mu kuhci tuh; sh pukg bhxho ptr 

vesuaho uuh tzuh mu gruugei sh jxsho pui tuhcgrayi- surfi 

kuhci tui stbegi ngi stbey; "gs vbv gzrhbu rjnhl ukt gzchbu 

thi mudtc mu tnubv tui cyjui kgrbgi tubz sh xprho 

sh ycg/ 

vgfgr tui nzk sh vgfgr ayhhy ths tzt uuhk' gr tzuh 

sgr tuhcgraygr uutx vty dgyuvi thi yuvy nhy tubz tui tkg 

mhhyi/ 

jxshl" – chz hgmy vtxyu tubz dgvtkpi nhy shhi rjnbu,' tui 

shhi jxs vty tubz bhay ptrktzy/// "utk ,yahbu tkuehbu 

kbmj"- tui ztkxy tubz bhay ptrktzi aygbshd / ngi thz nesho 

nhy t kuhc sgrbtl cgy ngi tuh; uuhhygr/ 

sgr bx pui jbufv kgrby tubz tz sti uugi gx thz tzuh pubxygr 

sgr nmc' ngi zgvy bhay ehhi uugd truhx csrl vycg ' 

tuhc ektngry ngi zhi tcgr nhy tnubv tui cyjui thi tubzgr 

ytyg thi vhnk yuy sgr tuhcgraygr thi thhi rdg nabv zhhi 

gx thz dkhhl mu t buhygrctstrpbshdgr trhnti uutx str; 

tbeungi mu yucu, pui t dchr' uugi gr uugy eungi mu tho t 

sh ycg mu vgkpi thshag ehbsgr/ 

muuhhyg ntk uugy gr tho kuhci tui stbegi tiuh; zhhi prhgrshdg 

jxsho ptr gr cgy tho uuhsgrntk mu gpgbi zhhi vtr. ptr 

fk zni uutx ngi ptrzhfgry zhi thi sh btyur tui ngi nhhby 

tz stx thz sh thhbmhdg tuhxuugd phry sgr tuhcgraygr uuhhygr 

tho/ stx thz t uuhreztng nhyk tuhl mu bhmi mu gpgbgi stx 

vtr.' fchfuk' pui ytygi thi vhnk uugi nhr euei tuhx mu zhhbg 

kuhyi btyur/ tcgr chh t ths uutx dkhhcy ctnubv akhnv tz sh 

vhhkhdg ctagpgr thz sgr curt tui nbvhd tui gr phry uutu 

jxsho/ uuh sh puxeho crgbdgi t ygo ptruutx ngi ztdy crfu, 

tubsgrprh' stx thz sgrptr uuhhk ngi ytr dtrbhay bvbv zhhi 

ptri stbegi sgo tuhcgrayi tui tuhc dgsgbey ngi yteg 

aygbshd mu kuhci' yuvy sgr ctagpgr zhl sgrctrgngi tui 


85 

על הניסים...‏ 

ועל הפורקן...ועל הגבורות...‏ ועל התשועות...‏ 

וקבעו שמונת ימי חנוכה להודות ולהלל...‏ 

ח

METRO DRUGS IS A FULL-SERVICE PHARMACY OFFERING COMPREHENSIVE FERTILITY CARE NATIONWIDE. 

Our Mission 

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We offer accurate, professional & personalized care 

while keeping patients' best interests at heart. 

WE OFFER OUR PATIENTS: 

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• Customer service center 

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The neighborhood pharmacy 

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13 East 8th Street, NY, NY 10003 / 888-258-4460 

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5027 New Utrecht Ave., Brooklyn, NY 11219 / 718-431-8000 

For Pharmacy Orders Call: 888-258-0106 

Patient Helpline Only: 888-475-2388

agbey zhh ehbsgr uugri zhh sgrvuhci tui tuhxdgdrtsy/ stx 

zgkcg thz sh pay thi pxue xunl vw kfk vbupkho uzue; kfk 

tsurfdgaprhhzy sgo ho tui dgvtkpi dguutri' ngi str; stbei 

vah", tuh; zhhbg uutubsgr/ 

vfpupho' vec"v thz sgr uutx vtky tubygr sh uutx zgbgi 

thhbdgptki tui muztndgcrtfi mukhc sh hxurho uutx zhh ntfi 

ngi str; bgngi tuh; sh njacu, thhbg pui sh erucho tsgr 

ctetbyg uutx vtci nhywi tuhcgraybx vhk; zufv dguugi mu 

nhy vtci ehbsgr' tui vah", vgkpy zhh nhy ehbsgr tui gr 

vhhcy zhh tuh; tui gr dkhhfy zhh tuhx/ 

t dgzuby ehbs tui sgrkgcy mu zgi bj, pui zhhgr kgci tui 

sgruh; stbei vah", nhywi dtbmwi vtr./ zgkcxyptraygbskhl 

sgr nsra kgrby tubz sgr rhfyhdgr tpyhhya pui sgo 

pxue uutx nhr ztdi tzuhphk ntk' nhr vtci 

tz sh uutx vtci auhi dgvty grptkd nhy thhi tsgr gykhfg 

ehbsgr tui uutryi tui cgyi nhy sh 

vgby muo vhnk tuh; dgbtsg' sh 

strpi zhfgr tfy dgci bhay mu zhhi 

gx khdy t juc mu 

kuhci tui stbei 

ehhbntk ehhi gexygr dguuhfy dgkhhdy tuh; 

sh uugrygr' tcgr tmhbs vty gx dtr ti tbsgrg 

ctshhy' gx khdy sgrhi t kuhc mu 

vec"v tz gr thz sgr uutx vgkpy sh 

ehhi fpuh yucv' btr fxsr guxe zhhi 

cahru, u,acju, tuh; sh kgfyhdg 

mgcrtfgbg thsi uutx nuyabgi zhl nhy zrg 

ak ehhnt' gr thz sgr uutx ctdkhhy sh 

turu, uutx zhh vtci grvtkyi nhy 

sh tuhxgrduugbkhfg vhk; pui sgo 

vah", tuh; hgsg 

ayhek haugv tui 

mgcrtfgbg tui thhbdgcuhdgbg cg, zhhgr phhi 

tui mgr tui sgrbtl vhhcy gr zhh tuh; tui 

rca"g' tui btr tzuh egi ngi zhl 

uutdi mu cgyi tuh; uuhhygr/ 

gr drts zhh tuhx nhy t kgfyhdg haugv/ 

sgrkhhfygrubd uutx 

ngi kgcy tsurl' tui 

gx khdy t juc mu kuhci tui stbei vah", 

tuh; hgsg ayhek haugv tui sgrkhhfygrubd 

tui mudtc mu sh kuhc uugrygr 

euny btl mu - uuh nhr vtci grekgry 

thi tbvuhc - t vhhxg ,pkv 

uutx ngi egi mukhhdi thi sh mhhy 

uutx ngi kgcy tsurl' tui tuhl tuh; hgsgx 

ntk uutx gr dhy sh fuj zhl mu njze zhhi' 

tuhl tuh; hgsgx ntk 

uutx gr dhy sh fuj 

uutx ngi stbey vah", tui gx vty 

ti xpgmhgki tpgey' gx uugry 

uutruo stx thz stl tuhl btr zhhi fuj' tui 

sgr pxue wxunl vw kfk vbupkhow thz zhhgr 

zhl mu njze zhhi' 

mudgptxy ptr sgo/ 

b,eck crjnho ucrmui ti sh aygr 

pui sh neyrhdho/ gx thz zhfgr tz 

kpuo mgrt tdrt uuh auugr gx euny 

ti uugy sh afr zhhi drgxgr' tui sh 

tui stx zgkcg thz nhy sh muuhhyg vtkc 

pubgo pxue wuzue; kfk vfpuphow' st thz auhi 

,pku, uugki yrtdi dtr t vgrkhl pbho uugi gx euny nhy t 

auugrg hdhgv uutx pgky zhl tuhx zhl mu egbgi etbmgyrhri 

tchxk auugrgr tcgr gx kuhby/ ngi str; zhl muztnbgngi sh 

njacu, tui tpdgci t acj uvustv ptrwi ctagpgr ptr sh 

thi mhhy pui buhy mu kuhci tuh; sh yucu, uutx vah", yuy nhy 

tubz tuh; yrhy tui arhy/ 

rmv v"t cgnl hartk uk,pk,o agv/ 

tkg thsi uutx zgbgi auhi dgvtkpi dguutri surl zhhi vhk;' xhh 

tuh; sh uutx vtci c"v ehhbntk bhay dguutuxy pui ehhi prtckgngi' 

tui stx ehbsgr vtci thz chh zhh uuh btyurkhl; tui xhh 

tuh; sh uutx vtci zhl ht dgnuyay tcgr nhy xhhg,t sanht 


87

hgsi ytd thz ptrzhfgry nhy guko vct' tui thi sh xprho 

uugry grekgry tz gx thz btr ptr sgr uutx vty thbzhi stx 

sgr etphyk pui wtarhw vty zhl ptrahsgbg thhdbtryhdg 

xduku,' mc"a sh dnrt ztdy tz uugr gx ztdy gx srhh ntk 

tui gx ztdi hgsi thhbmhdi ytd bhay uuhhbhdgr uuh srhh ntk/ 

uuh tarh huachw/// tui bhay tunzhbxy vty zhl gx eubv ao dguugi' 

btr gx thz t shrgeyg rgzukyty pui gx fxsr thcgrwjzrwi 

xhnctkhzhry yteg thi sh thshag aprtl tkx sudnv pui t 

nubskhfg dgakhpbehhy' t ayhhdgr wgr egi sgo ckty dnrt 

ehbsuuhhz ti thz gx sh grayg etphyk nhy uutx sh ehbsgr 

druhxi zhl tz zhh egbgi gx auhi ztdi tuh; tuhxgbuuhhbhd/ tui gx 

sgr etphyk uutx thz chh tkgngi stx ngrxyg ctetby' 

thz ckh auo xpe sgr etphyk pui tarh huach ch,l/ auhi pui 

sh xtctytza pui sh neyrdho/ 

nhr uugki zhl tmhbs tpaygki chh thhi 

pui sh xytbmhgx tuutu gx thz fsth mumukhhdi 

etp chh sgo pxue tui trhhbuutrpi t vhhxg ceav muo 

curt fk guknho cag, ngi kuhcy tho' tui st surl tuhxnhhsi 

sh crfv pui njhv n,ho uutx ngi ztdy 

ac, tuhl/ 

akhnv prhgr uuh thi sh uutfgshdg anubv 

garv' ngi egi cgyi "urupt jukho" chh 

stx cgyi tuh; t rputv vty dtr t cgptrmud' 

ngi egi cgyi tuh; t rputv 

garv sh tkg crfu, thi uutx ngi cgy fk 

nhbh ceau,’ tcgr urputv erucv kcut - 

vec"v tuh; thhdgbg vmyrfu,wi' tui 

sgrhcgr ztdy ngi bhay thi sh anubv 

sgrnhy vtci msheho dgyhhyay sh ntnr vdnrt "ac, vht 

nkzgue urputv erucv kct" - ac, ytr ngi bhay arhhgi mu 

jukho' sgrhcgr uugry zhhi ,pkv b,eck crjnho surl sh thbygruugb. 

pui zhhi acj ptrwi ctagpgr/ 

tzuh truo egbgi bhay sh nktfho neyrd zhhi tuh; zhhi ,pkv' 

uutruo zhh egbgi bhay ztdi tz vah", thz bhay sgr rupt 

sgo jukv chh sh uugrygr uuh gr crgbdy truhx sh druhxehhy 

pui vah", tz gr vhhky sh ertbeg/ sgr xdukv sgrpui thz tz 

tuh; sgo gbhi pui rputv/ thi sh crfv pui njhv n,ho kuhcy 

ngi vah", "urupt jukho"' sti ztk sgr ngbya thbzhi vtci 

gr uuhk n,pkk zhhi tuh; t ertbei k"g' ztk gr thbzhi vtci tz 

sgr jukv ztk tuhxdgvhhky uugri uugi gr kuhcy sgo ctagpgr 

zhhi ,pkv' 

vv"s uhrt vw fh abutv ktv/ 

egbgi bhay sh nktfho 

neyrd zhhi tuh; 

sgr xdukv sgrpui 

thz tz tzuh truo 

stx dhhy truh; tuh; sh ehbsgrktzg uutx zhmi thhbdgaptry 

tui ptragny thbsgrvhho' tui uuhctks vah", vgkpy zhh tui 

thi thshag thcgzgmubd: rw cbhnhi ci kuh kgrby pay thi 

sgo pxue tz vah", ptragny bhay sh thhbdgaptryg' tz 

c,hvo uzue; kfk vfpupho fhui avec"v puesi ccbho vi bzepu, 

,sg kl afi ktv abut, vch, vh,v ufhui apesv vec"v bzepv 

apesv vec"v bzepv vv"s uhrt vw fh abutv ktv: s"t xunl 

vw kfk vbupkho )ao env( tku vgeru, avo bupkhi c,ul 

vgeru, avi txuru, c,ul c,hvi ugkucu, ufhui avec"v puesi 

ccbho vi bzepu, ,sg kl afi ktv abut, vch, vh,v ufhui 

abutv ktv uduw: "fh aung tk tchubho vw ut, txhrhu kt czv' 

),vkho xy( t"r cbhnhi ci kuh ufuw ut, txhrhu kt czv' tku 

tui tuh; sgo stzhdi pxue uuhki nhr zhl tpaygki/ sgr nsra 

thi pra, uhmt )prav g"t( ztdy tuh; sgo pxue uhrt vw fh 

vhhcy tuh; sh dgptkgbg tui drts tuhx sh thhbdgcuhdgbg/ 

tuh; stx dgptkbehhy pui sh tu, bw' tui 

uuh sgr pxue ztdy yteg tz vah", 

kfk vbupkho uzue; kfk vfpuphow/ sgr 

bu"i pui sgo pxue grzgmy tui vhhcy 

vty tho ctmtky sgrptr thi sgo eungbshdi 

tu, xw' uutx khhby zhl wxunl vw 

sh dnrt grekgry uuhhygr tz ngi 

thz sgo bu"i bhay aukshd dgckhcgi ngi 

vnkl bhay dguutky trhhbkhhdgi sgo 

tu, bw thi sgo etphyk pui tarh huach/ 

hartk"' uutx vhhcy zhl ti nhy sgo tu, bu"i' tui uuhctks tz 

thi sgr pxue uugry truhxdgcrgbdy ayrt; rhhs tui sgrntrkhzhryg 

uugrygr ptrwi fkk hartk 

cg,wi jurci chvn"e' sgrhcgr vty sus 

sh dnrt thi crfu, grekgry sh xhcv sgrmu' mukhc sgo uutx 

gx thz ptrti t pxue )gnux v( "bpkv' kt ,uxh; euo c,uk, 

ty sgr etphyk thz tuhxdgaygky tuh; sh xsr pui sh tk; 

ch,/ xhhsi sgr tu, bw uutx grahhby bhay thi sgr etphyk' uuh 

nhr tbsgei btl t xdukv bpktv uutx thz ctvtkyi thi sgo 

etphyk/ 

zhhi tuh; prbxv' tui dguuhx khhdy hgsgr mu sh rhfyhdg fuubv tz 

vah", ztk tho muahei sh prbxv crhuj ucbhek/ thmy uugki 

uutx gr ztdy thi sgo etphyk/ uuh tuhl sgr pxue pu,j t, 

hshl unachg kfk jh rmui' vty t xpgmhgkg xdukv mu n,pkk 

jhzue 


88

hi sh ptrdtbdgbg zungr-tuhxdtcg vtci nhr 

tuhxdganugxy tui crhhy trundgrgsy thcgr sh 

yhhk str; ngi mu uuhxi tz gx khdy ctvtkyi t druhxg fj tui 

dtr t xl egi ngi tuhxwpugkwi chh sh ahru, u,acju,/ 

fuubu, tui sh yhpzhbhdg ,phku, uutx khdy tubygr sh crfv pui 

rptbu' tmhbs uugki nhr dhhi t yrhy uuhhygr tui nhr uugki zhl 

thi xpr ec ubeh ayhhy tz uugi t ngbya uuhk cgyi muo 

ctagpgr tui gr vty nurt tz sh neyrdho uugki neyrd zhhi 

etbmgyrhri tuh; t pxue uutx grahhby thbgo xhsur thi sgo 

jke pui stuugbgi uuh ngi kuhcy vah", thi sh cjhbv pui kguko 

tuh; zhhi ,pkv' ztk gr thbzhi vtci zhhi ceav cag, gr kuhcy 

sgo ctagpgr tuh; sh ztl thi uutx gr bhhyhdy zhl/ mc"a uugi 

hxsr tso acju ak vec"v utjr fl h,pkk/ tcgr tuhl thi sgo 


89 

שערי תפלה 

סומך ה'‏ לכל הנופלים 

וזוקף לכל הכפופים 

א

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&

jhzue 

hz hgmy yhhgrg thsi gx thz dgkgdbvhhy nhhi pkhfy 

tui zfhv nhy thhl nhyyhhki uutx sh nuxs thz/ thi t 

cjhbv pui thi jfo fcr bxhui thl uugk bhay ndzo zhhi tuhc thl 

uugk ztdi tz gx thz bhay ngdkhl mu ptrayhhi tzt nmc tcgr 

pyur ckt fkuo th tpar/ thl uugk gx btr trtp khhdi uuh tzuh 

thl vtc dgaphry thhi htr rta vabv chh ,pk, nux;/ thl str; 

thhl bhay ztdi' uugi gx euny jusa tkuk nwpruchry zhl mumdrhhyi 

mu sh vhhkhdg ygd' nwvtpy tkgx duyx tuhxmucgyi' nwpruchry 

zhl njze mu zhhi 'mto mubgni sh fuju, thbgo stuugbgi' 

chho khhbgi uvw pes t, arv' sh vpyurv sh ngav pui jbv' 

sh ehbsgr' tuxvgri sh ehbsgr' kgrbi nhy sh ehbsgr/ fh nhsh 

scru cu hgsgx ntk nwvgry t dgaprgl pui t ehbs mu zhhi ytyg 

,ehg, aupr' tui tzuh uuhhygr' tcgr khhsgr khhsgr nwthz tzuh 

mucrtfi nwthz tzuh bhay chh zhl' gx ekuhcy zhl auugr mto' zhl 

zfur tzfrbu gus uugey gx tuh; sh uuhhytd' aphky gx tuh; sh 

dgphki' gk fi vnu ngh ku rjo trjnbu vtc auhi rcua"g 

mu egbgi tuhxuuhhbgi chho ytyi thi vhnk/ 

rjnbu,/ fh nhsh scru cu hgsg btfy c"v thz st ehg"v thhi tsgr 

muuhh uutl btfy mgykgl tuhpi yhr' hgsi muprh t crh,' tsgr ti 

uugi gx thz tcgr dgeungi mu ayhkg anu"g pui nux;' sh 

pxueh nkfhu,' zfrubu,' thl vtc tbdgvuhcgi sgo pxue vci hehr 

tpagri' tui ptrayhhy zhl tz sgr thbdgrnti thz bhay tuo 

zgvshd' tui thz bhay tuhxdgaktxi' tui gr str; tuhl tpdgci 

kh tprho go hks agaugho uuh tzuh vec"v srhey zhl tuhx' tz 

fkk hartk thz tho tzt yhhgr ctkhcy ehbs uutx gr 

sh nzk yuc' tui uugi gr dhhy mu tui nwuutubay go ti th"v chh 

shr tuh; anju,' thz gx uuhsgr t cjhbv pui fh nhsh scru cu zfur 

yatyayeg zhl nhy tho fh nhsh scru cu uutx uugi thl rgsy 

pui go zfur tzfrbu gus ztdy sgr thhcgaygr sgrnti thl zhl 

btl thi-tho' gk fi vnu ngh ku/ 

tzfrbu gus' stx uugey stl tuh; zhhi chz hgmyhdi mucrtfbehhy 

gk fi vnu ngh ku/ tsgr ac, muprh uugi gr dhhy btr tsurl sh 

uugi thl vtc sh uugrygr btr truhx dgztdy vtc thl zhl tzuh 

chygrkhl mu uuhhby/ rca"g su vtxy tzt yhhgrg ctkhcy ehbs' 

jcrv ,vkho' tui sh zhxg ekhbdgshdg ayhng pui sh vubsgrygr 

ehbsgrkhl ehg"v ekhbdy nhy tzt v,kvcu,' tsgr uugi t thbdgrnti 

srhhy zhl truo chh aka xgusu, tui sh yhhgrg ehbsgrkgl 

zhbdgi tzuh ahhi uzfhbu krtu, cbho' - sh vtr. dhhy stl tuhx nhy 

uuhpk pui shhbg yhhgrg ctkhcyg ehbsgr euegi truhx cfkhui 

ghbho' tz zhh ztki tuhl zufv zhhi mu t hks agaugho' zhh ztki tuhl 

tzgkfg dgdhgui tz sh crfv ztk auhi neuhho uugri chh tho tuhl/ 

tsgr num"a uugi t thbdgrnti srhhy zhl truo chh tcu, ucbho' 

vtci t ehbs nhy uugo zhl mu yatayegbgi/ fh nhsh scru cu uuhpgk 

zhh vgri btr rgsi pui ehbsgr zfur tzfrbu gus sgrntby gx 

tui zhhbg jcrho zhmi thi chvn"s tui gykhfg ehbsgr zhmi truo 

go tui erhdi zhl uugo sh ytyg ztk euso ptrvgri' thz stl 

btl ngr sh ptrpgkegr' sh aytreg dgdhgui uutx zhh vtci mu t 

kgfyhd ehbs/ fh nhsh scru cu uuhpk vgri zhh t dtbmi ytd tui t 

uuhsgr zfur tzfrbu gus uugey stl tuh; zhhbg vtrmhdg dgphki' 

rjo trjnbu rcua"g vtc auhi tuh; tubz rjnbu,/ 

dtbmg btfy' tui chvn"s' tui fukk' tui chh sh trcgy' uutx thz 

tkgntk sh anugx uutx zhh vgri/ pui ehbsgrkhl' pui ptrvgri 

יואל וויינבערגער 


91 

אין חכם 

כבר נסיון 

א

jhzue 

gr yteg dgeungi stuugbgi chh tubz thi auk' thl vtc vbtv 

dgvty tz gx euny mu btl t n,pkk/ thl vtc dguutky gr 

hgsgr nusv zhhi' tz thhbg pui sh auugrxyg jkeho' thz dhhi mu 

tbsgrg anju,/ gx thz bhay uuhhk gx aygry tz hgbgr ntfy 

ztk zhl aphri cteuugo' vtc thl tho tuhpdgbungi zhhgr ahhi' 

nhy t crhhyi akuo gkhfo' tho tbdguuhzi t cwfcuswhdi zh.' tzuh 

t anjv' btr ptregry' tsrcv ngi vty vbtv' tui ngi 

vtpy tz anju, uugy naphg zhhi btl anju,/ sgr prtckgho 

uuh gx ptxy/ 

thz stx tbuutubyai/ 

tcgr mu nhhi tbyuhabd' thz stx dguugi stx kgmyg ntk 

uutx gr vty thcgrdgyrgyi stx auugk pui tubzgr auk/ gx 

vty nhr zhhgr dgctsgry' tz thl ptrkhr 

t n,pkk/ zhhgbshd btby nhy thhbg pui 

ztk sgr cgk anjv murhe uutubyai "th"v chh shr tuh; 

anju," zgbgi st dtr txtl uutx ztdi tz stx thz dtr gnpgbskhl' 

gx thz fthku ngi uuhhzy tz zhh 

zgbgi t rjnbu,/ pui sgr tbsgrg zhhy 

phry sgr rc tuhx ptruuhhytdy: 

ufsunw/ pkt. t nhy dguugi 

uutx thz zhfgr 

dgckhci muuhai tubz' 

zhhbg ehbsgr' vtc thl tho dgprgdy pay 

sgrpui/ zhhi zui vty nhr dguutuxy mu 

ztk ngi bhay uutubyai' uugy ngi zhl 

tuhl ctkhhshdi' tui ngi uugy ztdi tz 

gbypgri' tz gx vty zhhgr bhay 

dgangey ptr zhhi ytyg sh tuhpbtng' 

hgbgr vty auhi ehbsgr' tui nhhi nmc 

thbygrxhry tho uuh sgr ptrhgrhdi 

abhh/ 

tz ceruc dhhgi nhr 

tkg th"v dgvtkpi 

gx vty tho tuhxdgeuey zhhgr jbhpvwshd' 

nhhi ytyg vty gx tbdgeuey uuh 

t cgk anjv ayhhy thi sh zgkcg 

shkgnt' pubey uuh hgbgr rc pubgo ch, 

thhbgr uuhk zhl kgei mu tho' gr vty 

bhay khc tzt auk/// 

vnsra/// 

uugri' tui tubzgr 

prtckgho pui vgri 

vtc thl ptraytbgi tz bgexyg 

ntk' uutx t dtxy ptky trhhi thi auk' 

uutubyai' uugy thcgrdgsrhhy 

uugri uuh 

str; thl tho bhay tuhpbgngi mu ahhi' 

gx thz dgbud t ckuhzgr "duy ac,"/ 

tzuh mu uutubyai/// 

stx zgkcg thz pui tubzgr eue uuhbek' 

uuh tzuh tui uutx nhr ztki uutubyai? 

ztdy ngi "nzk yuc" nhy t 

aytreg euugya thi sh vgby' ptrayhhy 

auhi dkhhl sgr cgk anjv tz thl 

ntl gx duy' tcgr thi tn, prhh thl 

sh uutl thz t prhagr n,pkk bhay 

tbdgeungi' uugi thl vtc nhl btfdgprgdy' 

vtc thl cteungi ti gbypgr' 

tcgr pubey ptregry' tz gr vty zhl 

zhl bhay mu zhhi anjv/// ztk ngi dgci 

t khhfyg atek nhy sh vgby' thz stl 

zhhgr ctkhhshdy' tz sh rc vty tho bhay tuhpdgbungi uuh gx 

ptxy' gr vty tho btr dgdgci akuo gkhfo' tui bhay nfcs 

bhay st ehhi drgxgrg rthw tz thl chi tbdgzgmy/// tcgr stx 

uutx nhr uuhki stl ptrnhhsi' uutx yuy ngi? 

zgbgi nhr tuhl dgbuh thi sh zgkcg ahl uuh hgbgr rc/// 

thl chi thbdtbmi ptrkuhri' thl uuhhx bhay uutx mu yui?/ 

bgo thl tuh; thhbgo ahhi' vtc thl t prtckgho/ bgo thl 

rgsbshd nhy t jcr thcgr sgo prtckgho' zgbgi nhr bhay 

dgeungi mu ektri gbypgr' vtci nhr ctaktxi gx trhhbmuahei' 

tui ktnhr vgri uutx sgr guko vtky' uutx ztk ngi ht 

yui? 

bhay tuh; thhbgo ahhi' uugry gr ctkhhshdy/ uutx ztk thl 

yui? 

stx thz sgr ptxhdxygr chhaphk truhxmucrgbdi thhbg pui 

sh auugrhehhyi uutx nhr kgci nhy ytd ygdkhl/ sgr ctagpgr 

uutx thz zhfgr dgckhci muuhai tubz' tz ceruc dhhgi nhr 

tkg th"v dgvtkpi uugri' tui tubzgr prtckgho pui vgri uutubyai' 

uugy thcgrdgsrhhy uugri uuh tzuh mu uutubyai/// 

vty tubz tuhxsgruugvky surfmudhhi t bxhui/ stx uugy zhfgr 


92

gr thz nnahl nhy zhhi ptrmhhkubd: 

auk/ zhhi mu ngbyai btl mu eungi 

hi "uuhkhtnxcurd" tuh; "rtxx xyrhy" muuhai "kh 

guu" tui "cgsptrs guu" dgphby zhl t auk' zhhgr t 

bgfyi btfnhytd' yrg; thl sgo rc thi ptpt ch, vnsra 

btl nbjv/ zhhi pbho uuhhzy nhr tz gr thz gpgx zhhgr ptrwstdvwy/ 

zhhgbshd duy nhy tho' chi thl tho mudgdtbdgi prgdi: 

tpar ztdy nhr sgr rc' ptruutx zgby thr tzuh mudgkhhdy? 

gx uutky nhr dguugi t fcus thhl truhx muvgkpi/ 

ctwygnwyg/ kgfyhd tui prha' t ahhbgr tumr vxprho' gx thz 

t bj, trhhbmuxytpi thi sgo ch, vnsra' zhl mu sgreuuhei 

thcgr ti tpgbgo xpr' tsgr tprgfyi t ,phkv/ 

sgr rc kgcy tuh;' tui bgny zhhi uutry' tui gr vhhcy nhr 

ti mu ptrmhhki:su uuhhxy stl' thl vtc stl nhhi "ac, auk"' 

sh vmkjv pui sh auk uugy hgsgr tbmhhdi' tz gx thz t stbe 

sgo rc akhy"t' uutx khhdy trhhi thcgrnhskhfg fuju,' tz 

c"v sgr guko thz zhhgr muprhsi' sgr ctagpgr ztk vgkpi 

tuh; uuhhygr/ su uuhhxy stl tcgr' tz hgsgr vty khc tz gx 

tkgx ztk ektpi tuhpwi cgxyi ptrbgo' muo dgante pui tkg 

n,pkkho/ 

ptr dgmhhkyg uutfi murhe' uuhhxyu stl' vty hgbek 

auutr. dgnupy egdi thcgr tubzgr auk' zhhi grayg ac, thz 

SHAAREI TIKVAH/ FALL 2009 

93 

וואס זאל איך יא טון?‏ 

א

Shloime Kaufman's Avodos Tzedakah album is in all Judiaca stores or 

Shloime the 

Shloime 

CD is 

Kaufman's 

Kaufman's available for 

Avodos 

Avodos download 

Tzedakah 

Tzedakah on MostlyMusic.com, 

album is in all Judiaca 

album is in all Judiaca and features, 

stores or 

the CD is available for download on MostlyMusic.com, and features, stores or 

the Abie CD Rotenberg, is available for Dovid download Gabay, on Baruch MostlyMusic.com, Levine, Michoel and features, 

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Abie Pruzansky, Rotenberg, A.K.A. Dovid Pella, Sholom Gabay, Baruch Jacobs Levine, and contains Michoel songs 

Pruzansky, A.K.A. Pella, Sholom Jacobs and contains songs 

Pruzansky, composed by A.K.A. Yitzy Pella, Waldner Sholom and Baruch Jacobs Levine. and contains The CD songs is 

presented 

composed 

composed by 

by 

by and Yitzy 

Yitzy PROCEEDS Waldner 

Waldner WILL 

and 

and GO Baruch 

Baruch TO BENEFIT Levine. 

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The CD 

The CD which 

is 

is is 

presented the 

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and PROCEEDS 

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reproductive health and infertility. men, women, and couples struggling with 

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http://www.mostlymusic.com/shloimekaufmanavodastzedakah-p-4227.html 

http://jmderech.blogspot.com/2009/06/shloime-kaufman-avodas-tzedaka-review.html 


http://jmderech.blogspot.com/2009/06/shloime-kaufman-avodas-tzedaka-review.html 


http://jmderech.blogspot.com/2009/06/shloime-kaufman-avodas-tzedaka-review.html

ctagpgr/ sgr "ruhygr ygkptui" egi tk. ekhbdgi: vhpkt nvw 

scr! 

nhr strpi bhay erhfi mu uuhhy' tubzgrg gkygri uutx vtci 

nhydgntfy sh chygri khhsi cag, sh muuhhyg uugky nkjnv' 

vtci sgrmhhky tui sgrmhhki uuh tzuh zhhgrg kkgcgbx zgbgi 

dgatbei dguutri tuh; tundkuhckhfg uugdi/ vec"v anhrv vty 

thbgo zgkci nmc zgbgi dguugi tubzgrg zhhsgx chho "ho 

xu;"/ pui ptrby t yhpi ho' uutx thhbgr uutx dhhy trhhi sgrhi' 

zhh chhdkhhy tuh; yrhy tui arhy/ 

vty auhi bhay ehhi uugd truhx/ pui tubyi sh "nmrho" uutx 

uuhki zhh ptryhkhdgi/ pui sh zhhyi t argeshdg "nscr" phk nhy 

uuhksg ptrmhegbsg "jhu, rgu,"/ gx thz ektr dguugi uuh sgr 

ytd' tz ngi thz thi t nmc pui uutx ngi egi zhl bhay truhxzgi/ 

st thi bhu htre srhhy zhl truo t ths' uutx thz auhi dguugi 

thbgo dtz etngr! ht' gr thz auhi dgkhdi thbgo ecr' uutrygbshd 

tz ngi ztk auhi truh; uutrpi sgo kgmyi atuugk! tcgr 

tundkuhckhl! gr srhhy zhl vhhby st muuhai sh kgcshdg! uuh tzuh 

tcgr pkmukbud vty zhl sgr "ruhygr ygkptui" muekhbdgi/// t 

"ygkptui" uutx gx uugry bhay tpdgvtey tuhc ngi ctmtky 

vty stx ptxhry? sgr "ruhygr ygkptui" vty zhl muekhbdgi! 

vec"v vty dgvhhxi ptr sgo gx/ gx/ 

bhay sgruh; t chk/// sgr haugv thz 

dgeungi tuh; ti tundgrtfygbgo uugd' 

tphmhr uutx thz dgaytbgi chho yhr' tz 

sgo ths ztk gr murhe truhxakgpi' t 

tcgr tuhc chh t 

ngbya thz sgr "srl 

t dgaptkygbgo ho! t haugv uutx thi 

uuhxyi jkuo thz bhay dgeungi thi 

ctyrtfy/ 

ztl uutx thi tuhauuh. vty bhay 

ptxhry! strpi nhr sgi btl t ektrgr 

tpyhhya pui "vhpkt nvw scr"/ 

vycg" nhywi "akt 

fsrl vycg" tuhpwi 

sh "etkx" vtci bhay tuhpdgvgry 

mu eungi/ gx bgny ti "chpx" tui "yrh 

ktnhr dhhi btl bgygr/ fngy hgsgr 

thz ctuutxy nhy t ptk uutx steyurho 

uughx"/// uuh nhr zgi chh "nrsfh vmshe" 

tz "vnbwx dzhrv" thz dguugi ptrarhci 

vtci tuhpdgdgci tuh; ptrpgkegr' tz zhh 

uugki khhsgr bhay zufv zhhi mu nnahl zhhi 

zgkci aytpk' sti 

thz gr ptrzhfgry tz 

nhywi zhdk pubgo egbhd' ehhi "ptrstbx" 

uugy tuusth bhay eungi/ tcgr sti 

suru, k"g/ tcgr sgr steytr vty 

dgegby ztdi uutx gr uuhk' ngi vty zhl 

vty zhl sgr "ruhygr ygkptui" muekhbdgi' 

tui sgr haugv thz dgeungi pui t 

gr uugy dgvtkpi 

uugri th"v/ 

auhi tunmtkhdg ntk thcgrmhhdy' tz sgr 

"ruhygr ygkptui" muekhbdy zhl nhy duyg 

cauru,' tui ngi thz c"v mu zgi thsha 

bj,/ 

zhhyhd yhrk/ t ygkptui ru; uutx ngi 

vty btfbhay trtpdgkhhdy chzwi vhhbyhdi 

ytd' tui nhr prtuugi t kgfyhdgr 

purho/ 

tubzgr "tnubv uchyjui" yuy dtr muthhki tz sgr "ruhygr 

ygkptui" ztk zhl muekhbdgi/ sgr "esua, kuh" zh"g arhhcy 

ektr: tuhc t ngbya yrtfy' tz "csrl vycg" egi gr bhay 

dgvtkpi uugri' sti egi gr yteg bhay dgvtkpi uugri' uuhhk 

thbgo hgmyhdi jusa ptr tundgpgr muuhh yuhzgby htr 

murhe' vty tuhl sgr "ruhygr ygkptui" dgekhbdgi thi sh vhhngi 

pui sh "janubtho"/ gx vty tuhxdgeuey dtr chygr! 

tcgr sgr ru; pui "nh kvw tkh" vty tpdgvhkfy' tui vty 

sgr "ycg" ktzy bhay/ tcgr tuhc chh t ngbya thz sgr "srl 

vycg" nhywi "akt fsrl vycg" tuhpwi zgkci aytpk' sti thz 

dgkhhdy vtpgbud tuhpwi "vhpkt nvw scr" tui sgr "ruhygr 

ygkptui" vty zhl uuhhygr muekhbdgi/// 

gr ptrzhfgry tz gr uugy dgvtkpi uugri th"v/ 

tzuh egi ngi dhhi thcgr fkk hartk dgahfyg' uugi ngi t 

aygbshd dgzgi' tz tphku ngi vty zhl auhi nhhta dguugi' stl 

"bgexy yhho" uugi thr zhmy chho steytr' tui gr dhy thhl 

auutfg vtpgbud j"u' euey tuhpwi "ygkptui" pubgo tphx' tui 

thz sh haugv tbdgeungi tuh; ti tundgrtfygbgo tupi/ 

cgy sgo steytr' gr ztk bhay rgsi tzuphk ayu,ho' tui 

chhyi zhhi " auutrmi ygkptui" ptr t "ruhyi"/// 


95

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hbgo ptrktpgbgo "btuugncgr 01" thi t mhngrwk thi 

"uuhrsahbhg" thz dgkhdi tuhxdgayrgey tuhpwi yuhy 

stx tpar tuhl bhay' tcgr stx thz zhhi thhbmhdg thcgrdgckhcbg 

vtpgbud uutx uugy tho rtyguugi' stx thz "sgr ruhygr 

ygkptui"/ 

ayuk' sgr bhsrhdgr ngrsgr "ntjnus" ctetby muuhai 

tngrhetbgr tk. sh uutahbdyti "xbhhpgr" uutrygbshd tuh; 

nhr tkg vtci auhi txtl dgvgry sgo ntnr' tui tza 

tphku auhi dgytbmi sgruh;/// "tphku jrc jsv nubj, gk muutru 

zhhi chygri xu;' uutx thz tho ptrturyhhky dguutri ptrwi vrdwgbgi 

nhy zhhi mhk ahxgr 10 ngbyai' tui ptruutubsgy 3' ptr 

zhci htr murhe/ 

ak tso' tk ,,hhta gmnu ni vrjnho"/ t ths uutx kgcy nhy 

tnubv ucyjui' vty tk. sgo "ruhyi ygkptui" tuh; uutx gr 

thbgo vhbrhfyubdx mhngr' thz bhay st mu xtl cteuugnkhfehhyi 

ptr thrg ctbumgr/// btr t cgbek nhy t yhak 

euey t dtbmg mhhy' tui bhay btr gr euey' btr gr euny trhhi 

sh ru; tz gr thz dgrtyguugy! stx thz tubzgr vhhkhdgr ytyg 

tui t "ruhygr ygkptui"/ sgr ygkptui thz bhay dgntfy 

ptrwi ngrsgr' tuhc gr uuhk btl gpgx ztdi ptr thhbgo/// stx 

thi vhnk' uutx ptruutbsky sh grdxyg nhbuyi' ptr dkhekhfg 

ntngbyi/ 

thz xpgmhgk tvgr dgaygky nhy t drtsg khbhg muo uuhhxi 

vuhz' tui muo dtuugrbtr pubgo xyghy' tz tuhc zhh ctakhxi 

sgr ruhygr ygkptui thz bhay ehhi bhhgr ctdrh;/ tubzgr 

gkygri thi tkg suru, vtci auhi dgeuey sgruh; nhy vtpgbud 

tui ahhi/ 

ptr xhh uugkfg xhcv - nuz bhay zhhi suuet t dgrgfyg ckuhz 

rjnbu, dgphki thz pubey dgbud' sti egbgi zhh tho agbei t 

uugi tubzgr ctcg "arv tnbu" thz dguutri tbdgztdy nhy 

sh caurv' tz thcgrx htr uugy zh uuhdi t ehbs tuh; thr auhx' 

"ptrsti" tui sgr ngrsgr uugry trtpdgbungi pubgo cgbek' 

thz stx kgci uugry tho dgatbei/ 

thz thr tbyuutry dguugi t dgkgfygr' zh vty dgktfy/ ptruutx 

sgi bhay? thr pruhgbhag xsr thz dguugi t ptrdtbdvhhy' 

khdy zhl tubzgr "ntjnus" tuhxdgayrgey tuhpiw ayuk' 

stx vtr. zhhbgo ektpy uuh/// ztdy thr/// uuh thhbgr uutx dhhy 

thz sgrptr bhay dguugi ehhi ngdkhfehhyi tz zh ztk btl 

dgvtkpi uugri/ tcgr sgr ctagpgr vty ptrdgvtkyi tcrvo 

"gbh nhbuy" bhay zhhi st/ tui uutu euey gr? tuhpwi ruhyi ygkptui/ 

zhhi nj uuhrcky' tpar stl uugy gx ekhbdgi' tui rtyguugi 

zhhi kgci/ gx thz yteg t atbx uuhhbhdgr uuh t prtmgby' tui 

tchbu' "knv zv mjev arv" ptruutx vty arv dgktfy' 

"vhpkt nvw scr" thz sgr st ti tunngdkhfehhy ptrwi 


97 

דער רויטער 

טעלפאון קלינגט 

א


Associates of New York 

Reproductive Endocrinology 

Manhattan 

Alan Copperman, MD 

Lawrence Grunfeld, MD 

Tanmoy Mukherjee, MD 

Benjamin Sandler, MD 

Westchester 

Jeffrey Klein, MD 

Long Island 

Eric Flisser, MD 

Jane Ruman, MD 

Male Reproductive Medicine 

Natan Bar-Chama, MD 

Psychological Services 

Georgia Witkin, PhD 

Lisa Schuman, LCSW 

LETUSHELPYOU 

CONCEIVEYOURDREAM 

Reproductive Medicine Associates of New York is committed to fulfilling your dreams of 

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compassionate, supportive setting. We provide a comprehensive list of services, from 

initial consultations and second opinion consultations to in-vitro fertilization (IVF), 

intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) and pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD). 

Reproductive Medicine Associates of New York is a proud 

sponsor of ATIME, and works closely with the organization to 

provide support for infertility services consistent with Halacha. 


Associates of New York 

Where Medical Excellence 

and Compassionate Care 

Unite 

Westchester 

15 North Broadway 

Garden Level-Suite G 

White Plains, NY 10601 

914-997-6200 

Manhattan 

635 Madison Avenue 

10 th Floor 


212-756-5777 

Long Island 

400 Garden City Plaza 

Suite 107 

Garden City, NY 11530 

516-746-3633 

www.rmany.com

Chanukah 5770/2009 - Jewish Infertility

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