Best of Miami Portfolios 2001 - Units.muohio.edu

Camilla Hileman—A Response To A Text
The Illumination
“Then he [Siddhartha] suddenly saw clearly that he was leading a strange life, that he was
doing many things that were only a game, that he was quite cheerful and sometimes experienced
pleasure, but that real life was flowing past him and did not touch him. Like a player who plays
with his ball, he played with his business, with the people around him, watched them, derived
amusement from them; but with his heart, with his real nature, he was not there” (Hesse 57-58).
Siddhartha journeys through a backward discovery of the Self. He begins life as a handsome
Brahmin’s son, admired and loved by family and friends. This life does not satisfy him, so he
continues his search for the Self. He becomes a poor ascetic who relinquishes the material comforts
of life. After many years, Siddhartha discovers that he cannot understand the Self by denying the
Self. He awakens his senses by indulging in life’s pleasures. Soon, however, he becomes dependent
on riches to give him happiness. The Self is buried underneath a burden of possessions. Success has
only blocked his journey. Siddhartha travels to a peaceful riverbank and listens to the sounds of the
water. The Self is quietly hidden in the voice of the river. The holy Om is bound to the Self and the
waters in an indistinct pattern of perfection. Time lapses as Siddhartha recognizes the river as both
the cause and culmination of his journey.
Siddhartha’s entire life is a quest for the Self. He is led down many paths before he discovers
the essence of true happiness and contentment. On his journey, he is blinded by superficial
pleasures. He is tempted to believe that he has discovered the Self, but he must continue his search.
Siddhartha is a novel that touches me deeply. I can see myself in the person of Siddhartha.
I also question the life I lead. I am strangled in the paradox of materialistic pleasure versus genuine
joy. Life is a continual struggle to appreciate simplicity. The mind can be entertained by an
elaborate design of electricity that forms fuzzy pictures on a twelve-inch screen. The Self can be
fulfilled by a pure rain that drops from the sky and drenches clothing. Yet, I have difficulty stepping
away from life’s diversions. It rains outside, but my face is illuminated by the artificial glow of the
TV.
Siddhartha is challenged by wealth. As an ascetic, the Self is starved from a lack of physical
necessities. As a rich man, Siddhartha’s life is overwhelmed with frivolous distractions. The Self is
only affirmed when the outer world is simplified. The ferryman alone learns this delicate balance
of needs and wants. At an old age, Siddhartha ultimately achieves an inner simplicity, an intimate
peace.
It is difficult for me to simplify my own life. I constantly find myself in a clutter of
obligations and promises, deferring one duty to accomplish another. I marvel at Siddhartha’s life as
a ferryman. I envy his moments of inner contemplation. “There shone in his [Siddhartha’s] face the
serenity of knowledge, of one who is no longer confronted with conflict of desires, who has found
salvation, who is in harmony with the stream of events, with the stream of life, full of sympathy and
compassion, surrendering himself to the stream, belonging to the unity of all things” (Hesse 111).
I emulate the tranquility of his life.
If I silently meditate about my life for a few moments, I can conjure up quite a few theories
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