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Camilla Hileman—A Response To A Text The Illumination “Then he [Siddhartha] suddenly saw clearly that he was leading a strange life, that he was doing many things that were only a game, that he was quite cheerful and sometimes experienced pleasure, but that real life was flowing past him and did not touch him. Like a player who plays with his ball, he played with his business, with the people around him, watched them, derived amusement from them; but with his heart, with his real nature, he was not there” (Hesse 57-58). Siddhartha journeys through a backward discovery of the Self. He begins life as a handsome Brahmin’s son, admired and loved by family and friends. This life does not satisfy him, so he continues his search for the Self. He becomes a poor ascetic who relinquishes the material comforts of life. After many years, Siddhartha discovers that he cannot understand the Self by denying the Self. He awakens his senses by indulging in life’s pleasures. Soon, however, he becomes dependent on riches to give him happiness. The Self is buried underneath a burden of possessions. Success has only blocked his journey. Siddhartha travels to a peaceful riverbank and listens to the sounds of the water. The Self is quietly hidden in the voice of the river. The holy Om is bound to the Self and the waters in an indistinct pattern of perfection. Time lapses as Siddhartha recognizes the river as both the cause and culmination of his journey. Siddhartha’s entire life is a quest for the Self. He is led down many paths before he discovers the essence of true happiness and contentment. On his journey, he is blinded by superficial pleasures. He is tempted to believe that he has discovered the Self, but he must continue his search. Siddhartha is a novel that touches me deeply. I can see myself in the person of Siddhartha. I also question the life I lead. I am strangled in the paradox of materialistic pleasure versus genuine joy. Life is a continual struggle to appreciate simplicity. The mind can be entertained by an elaborate design of electricity that forms fuzzy pictures on a twelve-inch screen. The Self can be fulfilled by a pure rain that drops from the sky and drenches clothing. Yet, I have difficulty stepping away from life’s diversions. It rains outside, but my face is illuminated by the artificial glow of the TV. Siddhartha is challenged by wealth. As an ascetic, the Self is starved from a lack of physical necessities. As a rich man, Siddhartha’s life is overwhelmed with frivolous distractions. The Self is only affirmed when the outer world is simplified. The ferryman alone learns this delicate balance of needs and wants. At an old age, Siddhartha ultimately achieves an inner simplicity, an intimate peace. It is difficult for me to simplify my own life. I constantly find myself in a clutter of obligations and promises, deferring one duty to accomplish another. I marvel at Siddhartha’s life as a ferryman. I envy his moments of inner contemplation. “There shone in his [Siddhartha’s] face the serenity of knowledge, of one who is no longer confronted with conflict of desires, who has found salvation, who is in harmony with the stream of events, with the stream of life, full of sympathy and compassion, surrendering himself to the stream, belonging to the unity of all things” (Hesse 111). I emulate the tranquility of his life. If I silently meditate about my life for a few moments, I can conjure up quite a few theories 68
for simplifying my own lifestyle. There is no natural philosophy that I can instantly apply to every minute; I must persistently pledge effort and thought into each day. On Thursday evening, for instance, I can sacrifice watching one “Friends” episode. Instead of resigning my mind to automatic pilot, I can turn the TV off. With one interruption unplugged, I’m tempted to check my e-mail or blare my favorite music, but I must leave behind these frivolities. When I follow through on my initial efforts, I can always create a rare moment for myself. It takes dedication and perseverance to willingly remove myself from life’s distractions; yet, when I conquer my tendency toward possessions, I find that the subsequent harmony is extremely rewarding. Siddhartha journeyed his entire life to discover the Self when he could have uncovered the Self anywhere. Sometimes Siddhartha neglected to open his eyes. As I travel on life’s path, I must remember to be present to the moment, lest I too forget to remain vigilant. Work Cited Hesse, Hermann. Siddhartha. New York: New Directions Publishing Corporation, 1951. 69
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