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Untitled - Hospitality Maldives

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Hear No Evil<br />

Speak No Evil<br />

49 ways to CYA<br />

(Cover Your Backside)<br />

Albert Einstein once said: “The world is a<br />

dangerous place to live, not because of the<br />

people who are evil, but because of the people<br />

who don’t do anything about it“<br />

And that is why Evil Erik is still in the job,<br />

since all that is necessary for the triumph of<br />

evil is for good men to do nothing.<br />

And the good men ( and women ) keep leaving<br />

their jobs, increasing the turnover figures<br />

of “his” hotel by 100 % and costing the owners<br />

a ton of money in finding and training<br />

new staff that then leaves again, costing the<br />

owners a ton of money, etc, etc .......<br />

And this inhuman cycle continues while, in<br />

the meantime, the guests wonder why they<br />

don’t get any recognition and/or guest satisfaction<br />

!<br />

But Evil Erik has now developed his CYA system<br />

to perfection and worked out a check-list<br />

of explanations of why he can’t achieve the<br />

goals he keeps promising the owners.<br />

So for all the Evil Erik’s and for all the readers<br />

of these columns that write me about his<br />

replicas from around the world, here is the<br />

perfect list to blame others for his failures<br />

while making sure he gets the credits for<br />

their success !<br />

49 reasons why Evil Erik can’t perform ........<br />

1. Normally I do it my way..........<br />

2. I’ve never done it that way<br />

3. It’s not part of my job.<br />

4. I don’t have the time<br />

5. I don’t have the manpower.<br />

6. It’s not in the budget.<br />

7. It’s too expensive.<br />

8. I have tried it before.<br />

9. The staff is not ready for it yet.<br />

10. Good idea, but our hotel is different.<br />

11. All right in theory but can you put it into<br />

practice ?<br />

12. Too academic.<br />

13. Too hard to administer.<br />

14. Too much paperwork.<br />

15. Too early.<br />

16. Too late.<br />

17. Too much work.<br />

18. It’s not good enough.<br />

19. There are better ways than that.<br />

20. What will the customer think ?<br />

21. What will the management think ?<br />

22. What will the staff think ?<br />

23. You haven’t considered....<br />

24. It’s against company policy.<br />

25. It would have been suggested before if<br />

it were any good<br />

26. Let’s not step on their toes.<br />

27. Too modern.<br />

28. Too old-fashioned.<br />

29. Let’s discuss it at some other time.<br />

30. You don’t understand our problem.<br />

31. Why start change now ?<br />

32.<br />

33.<br />

34.<br />

35.<br />

36.<br />

37.<br />

38.<br />

39.<br />

40.<br />

41.<br />

42.<br />

43.<br />

44.<br />

45.<br />

46.<br />

47.<br />

48.<br />

49.<br />

We’re too small for that.<br />

We’re too big for that.<br />

We have too many projects now.<br />

Has anyone else ever tried it ?<br />

What you are really saying is .......<br />

It has been the same for 6 years, so it<br />

must be good.<br />

Let me add to that.<br />

I just know it won’t work.<br />

Let’s form a committee.<br />

Let’s be practical.<br />

It needs more study.<br />

Let’s think it over for a while and watch<br />

developments.<br />

That’s not our problem.<br />

Let’s shelve it for the time being.<br />

We can’t do everything at once.<br />

The computer doesn’t work.<br />

No ink in the printer.<br />

We can’t get on-line.<br />

Erik understands very well that it is not<br />

whether you win or lose, it is how you place<br />

the blame and by doing that he becomes the<br />

man that can smile when things go wrong<br />

because he has 49 reasons ( and is adding<br />

more ... ) to blame it on someone or something<br />

else !<br />

May revealing Evil Erik’s CYA secrets to the<br />

internet help you to discover other “bad apples”<br />

before they spoil your human resources<br />

and, last but not least, your profitability too!<br />

Bert “Bow-Thai” van Walbeek has been an Hotelier for 45 years and Marketer of Tourism for 35 years, a Motivator for 20 years, a Master of Disaster for 15 and a<br />

Lecturer for 15 years. He can be reached at bert@twe-winningedge.com

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