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anger, and violence in you. The way your superiors relate to you is
violent and you have to take all of that without reacting. but it goes in
and then you dish out the same treatment when you’re in charge. All
your training and what you do generates anger and you use the energy
of anger, very focused and somehow cool, to do your job. It’s hard to
imagine another way, although Thay teaches it is possible for a soldier
to act from the base of compassion.
Living in the Sangha, it was easy to see my anger. Learning how
to handle it was my practice. Over my six years as a monk I guess my
brothers have had to go through a lot with me. Sitting in a meeting one
time I became so angry at a brother as he was sharing, I had the idea to
put the big bell over his head and turf him out of the hall. Fortunately
I was able to breathe and stay still. The energy in me caused me to
feel I was the size of the gorilla in King Kong. If I stood up, my head
was sure to touch the roof. I asked to hold Br. Phap Dzung’s hand
for support. Soon I excused myself from the meeting and walked to
Thay Giac Thanh’s hut. He was quite ill with diabetes and had recently
broken a bone, but he was able to accept his illness and discomfort and
be happy and peaceful. I would often do walking meditation to his hut
and share tea with him when I
was angry. I didn’t need to tell
my story—just his presence
calmed me down.
With time, through the
practice of mindful breathing,
I have developed a zone
of peace in me and have had
more and more space for my
anger. I say to myself, There
is anger in me, but I am not
this anger. I can recognize
it as it is coming up and take
care of it. When driving I
used to notice that my foot
was pressing harder on the
accelerator because my anger
had manifested. But because
the peaceful mindfulness
energy was also there, I was
able to ease off very quickly. I
would slow the car right down
and go back to my breath.
Mainly walking and sitting
meditation was the base of
my practice but I also used
other skillful means. I found
writing poetry about my situation
and feelings helped me.
By finding eloquent words
and putting my anger into
a larger context which contained
positive thoughts and
aspirations, it detached me
from the emotion. So gradually
I know myself better and
better and can recognize all
the signs of my anger coming
up and am able to take care of
I have developed a zone of peace
in me and have had more and more
space for my anger.
inter view with THAY PHAP DO
it right away. Now I see the peaceful zone prevents the seeds of my
anger manifesting, even when I see them being watered.
What do you wish for your future practice
Just to continue the basic practice, to increase my happiness
and peace. That is enough for me. I do see I have a strong seed to be
an elder brother. I like to support my younger brothers but not as an
authority.
I see also that here we have an opportunity to live together,
Vietnamese and non-Vietnamese. It is a challenge to live together,
to understand and connect with each other. Sometimes the seeds of
prejudice are very strong. For instance, many Vietnamese still resent
that Westerners tried to colonize our land and that they looked down
on the Vietnamese as inferior. Many Vietnamese had a rough time
integrating as immigrants. There can be a desire to show “I’m not less
than you, I can do everything you can do and do it better.” But here
we are together under the roof of the same teacher and as monastics
we have left everything else behind for the love of the same practice.
So we should make the effort to get to know each other and love each
other. We can live together. It
is an important act of peace—
stopping the war—that we do
this. I feel very at home with
the Western people. I don’t
care if my English or German
is not perfect—even with my
limited French I just go ahead
and have a conversation. I don’t
feel a barrier or a difference
but relate to people on a human
level.
photo by Gary Richardson
Br. Phap Do became a
Dharma Teacher in 2002.
For me his character
echoes those samurai of
ancient Japan who gave
up their swords to become
monks and channeled their
one-pointed determination
and zeal into the ways and
practices of a monk. Every
morning at five a.m., Br.
Phap Do is at the bell tower
of Upper Hamlet in Plum
Village, calling us with the
deep bronze sounds and
his strong chanting voice to
sitting meditation.
Br. Phap Lai is a novice
from England, currently
living in Deer Park.
the Mindfulness Bell 29