2015 Volume Two

2015 Volume Two
ON MARRIAGE

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EDITORIAL
PUBLISHER
Michelle Danko
mcdanko@eyeworship.org
ASSISTANT PUBLISHER
L.A. Helvey
la@eyeworship.org
Deb Martens
debmartens@eyeworship.org
Kathy Smith
kathy.smith@eyeworship.org
EDITOR
Jill King
jillking@eyeworship.org
Helen Murray
helenmurray@eyeworship.org
Matt Poe
mattpoe@eyeworship.org
ADVERTISING SALES
Mark M. Danko
mmdanko@faithfi lledfamily.com
COPYWRITER
Apryle Krause
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SUBSCRIPTIONS AND FEEDBACK:
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© Faith Filled Family Magazine, February Edition, Joomag 2015
All material is strictly copyright and all rights reserved. Reproduction in
whole or in part without the written permission of Faith Filled Family is
expressly forbidden.

CONTENTS
Faith Filled Family
FEATURES:
SUBMISSION IS NOT BEING SUBMISSIVE..........09
“Wives submit to your husbands” is not about being
lesser than but honoring and respecting your mate.
LOVE , HONOR AND CHERISH.............................16
It was a part of your marriage vows, but is it still part
of your marriage? Learn how to strengthen your
marriage by incorporating these simple steps.
FINDING QUIET.......................................................20
Unlock the relational benefi ts of a dedicated prayer
time between yourself and God. Watch your life
transform with this one-on-one interaction.
“HAVING IT ALL” AT WHAT PRICE?....................21
Having it all is great, but when it comes at the
expense of your family it may not prove to be worth it.
WHEN JUST SAYING NO IS DANGEROUS..........25
While refusing sex outside of marriage is godly,
refusing it altogether in marriage is not. Find out why.
IN HOT PURSUIT OF YOUR WIFE!.......................38
She’s sexy and you love her. But are you pursuing
her?
ROMANTIC ADVENTURES IN MARRIAGE...........44
Marriage is a continual romantic adventure for two.
THE CRUSH OF AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR............54
Emotional affairs occur when needs go unmet in
spouses and can quickly destroy a marriage.
CHILDREN OR SPOUSE: WHO COMES FIRST...62
Husbands needs...Children’s demands... I love them
both! However, who, biblically, should come fi rst?
RESUCITATING A FLAT-LINED MARRIAGE.........64
Don’t let a lack of emotion be a death-sentance! If
the dead can be brought back to life, so can your
marriage.
AND THEY SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH............66
When we are married, we become one flesh. However,
life gets complicated when there’s a tag-along!

BIBLICALLY, WHO’S IN CHARGE?.......................76
Is it the husband, the wife, or both? Many just aren’t
sure anymore. Discover the truth.
CHARACTER FLAWS.............................................82
Some things are cute, and some can be destructive
in a marriage. Learn how to help not hurt.
INTERVIEWS:
ODYSSEY ADVENTURE CLUB.............................13
Focus on the Family’s Christi Lynn discusses her life,
and the popular Odyssey Adventure Club.
ROBERT BAKKE: LIFE AT FULL THROTTLE......29
Robert Bakke has done NASCAR racing, has a black
belt in karate, is an air force piolet, and lives a life
that is truly at full throttle for life, for God’s plan and
purpose over his life, and, passionately for God!
DAVEY HAMILTON: LIVE BY GOD........................41
Davey Hamilton discusses his new career and his
passion for living a life fi lled with Christ.
SATELLITES AND SIRENS.....................................50
This month’s Music Spotlight. Discover who they are.
TRENT WATERSON................................................58
Trent is best known for his latest movie, “Little Hope
was Arson”. Learn about his life on and off the set.
WORSHIP CHANGES EVERYTHING:....................68
Darlene Zschech is known for her role in Hillsong
Church, but there is more to this godly woman.
WORSHIP AND MISSION.......................................74
Reprinted with permission by Woship Magazine.
Darlene Zschech’s column on the purpose of
praising God.
FAITH DRIVEN CONSUMER..................................86
Part two of a two part interview outlining what Faith
Driven Consumer’s impact on the marketplace.
REVIEW: FOUR BLOOD MOONS..........................79
Pastor John Hagee’s informative revellation on the
blood moon tetrads and what they mean biblically.
Faith Filled Family

Publisher’s Letter
February is fi lled with notes of romance in the air,
appreciation of one’s spouse, and thoughts turn to the
delightful mystery of marriage.
However, what are we doing to keep our marriages strong
and to celebrate them on a daily basis?
There are many misconceptions in society as to what
marriage should be, and most of it does not line up with
biblical truth. Women are being misinformed as to their
role as wife, men aren’t taking their God-given role inside
of the home, and Satan is attacking the marriage covenent
harder than ever before!
It is our passion to see strong marriages and strong families
emerge now and into the future. Marriages should be full
of hope, not strife. Harmony and peace should reign.
Confl ict should be dealt with in a Christ-like manner.
Learn how to push back against the wiles of the enemy
in your marriage and watch as your marriage attains new
heights in unimaginable ways!
To the health of your marriage, now, and for decades to
come!
Be Blessed!
Michelle Danko
Publisher
Faith Filled Family Magazine

Submission
IS NOT
Being
Submissive
By Vernita Simmons
O
ne great means for a
marriage to be successful
is for the husband and
wife to learn and activate
godly principles in the area of
submission. Unfortunately, the
issue of submitting within the
world and the Body of Christ has
been seriously misconstrued.
To fully grasp what submission
truly involves, you must abide by
God’s biblical principles and the
order in which He established it.
Modern society’s idea of a
wife being submissive to her
husband has been twisted and
severely distorted. And for a
Christian marriage to serve as
an exemplary model, they must
refrain from following the pattern
of the world’s system because it
craves for the lust of the fl esh,
the eye and the pride of life.
“For all that is in the world, the
lust of the fl esh-craving for
sensual gratifi cation and the lust
of life-assurance in one’s own
resources or in the stability of
earthly things-these do not come
from the Father but are from the
world itself.” (I John 2:19).
Having such an insatiable
appetite for worldly pleasures
will cause a marriage to be
topsy-turvy ~ wacky-crazy and
utterly defeated.
The Greek word for submission
is “huptotasso”- hoop-ot-as’-so
from 5259 and 5021; which
means subordinate; refl exively,
to obey:-be under obedience
(obedient), put under, subdue
unto, (be, make) subject (to,
unto), be (put) in subjection (to,
under), submit self unto. (1)
Most women are turned off by
such a decree, for they perceive
submission as being used,

controlled and inferior to men.
God’s plan for submission is far
different than what’s played out in
society and it’s not complicated.
In God’s world’s, submitting
involves these three valuable
elements:
1) A Willingness to Serve
2) A Heart fi lled with love
3) An Attitude of God’s Grace
For a husband and wife to live
in unity and peace, both must
be followers of Jesus Christ
and imitate Him in all manner
of conduct and behavior. This
began with putting Christ as
the head of the marriage. I
appreciate and commend you
because you always remember
me in everything and keep fi rm
possession of the traditions (the
substance of my instructions),
just as I have verbally passed
them on to you. But I want you
to know and realize that Christ
is the Head of every man, the
head of every woman is her
husband, and the Head of Christ
is God. (I Corinthians 11:2-3).
In essence, obey the Lord and
follow as He leads you in the
ways of righteousness. God
always leads with hands of
grace, kindness and love. As
Jesus submits to the will of His
father, so is the husband and
wife to place their marriage in
the capable hands of the Lord
and readily serve each other
faithfully, lovingly and graciously.
And going a little farther, He
threw Himself upon the ground
on His face and prayed saying,
“My Father, if is possible, let this
cup pass from Me; nevertheless,
not what I will-not what I desire,
but as You will and desire.” (Matt.
26:29).
The desires of both is to bring
peace, crown the marriage
with genuine selfl ess love and
looking out for the welfare of
the other while making sure to
resolve problems in a manner
which brings healing by doing
what is in accordance to God’s
plan to keep your marriage alive
and active and full of joy.
Women should be submissive
to their husbands
On your wedding day, you stood
before God and others promising
to love, honor and obey. And
part of honoring your husband
means to submit.
“Wives, be subject–be
submissive and adapt yourselves
to your own husbands as a
service to the Lord.” (Eph. 5:22).
The wife is to humbly come
alongside him, giving respect
by showing she believes in his
ability to lead in a manner which
brings God glory. You trust him
to look out for the best interest of
you and the marriage by working
with him to build a stable and
secure marriage based upon the
principles in the word of God.
To succeed at this, the wife is not
to usurp authority or leadership
over her spouse. Such actions
can lead to serious reprocessing
as it did for Adam and Even in
the Garden of Eden.
“When the woman saw that the
tree was good for food, that it
had a pleasing appearance and
that the tree was desirable for
making one wise, she took some
of it and ate. She gave some to
her husband, who was with her.”
(Gen. 3:6 CJB).
Eva was enticed by the pleasures
of the world. She listed to the
serpent and was deceived.
She failed to consult with her
husband, and thus we have the
fi rst recorded account of how
terrible it can be to override the
authority of one’s husband. Her
foolish decision resulted in them
being evicted from their lovely
home. Adam and Eve had it
made. They didn’t have to pay a
mortgage, home insurance nor
for the land.
“So God drove out the man;
and He placed at the east of the
Garden of Eden the cherubim
and a fl aming sword which
burned every way, to keep and
guard the way to the tree of life.”
(Gen. 3:24).
There was no corcen for
provisions, for all they needed
was at their deposal. Food,
herbs, water, immeasurable
resources, peace and tranquility.
And in one moment, everything
changed.
This should not had occurred.
When Adam ceased to speak
up, he failed to protect his wife
from the deception of the enemy.
Adam was with her during this
conversation. This was one
time he needed to step up and
gently said to Eve; “honey, I love
you, but we aren’t going to be
deceived by this serpent. We
will obey the Lord and not eat
from this tree of knowledge of
good and evil.” In no way would
this had been disrespectfully or
treating her as if she’s inferior
and ignorant. One of the greatest
responsibilities of a husband is

to shield his wife and family from
the assaults of the devil. And to
have keen foresight when his
wife is vulnerable and an easy
prey for the adversary to take
advantage of. If necessary, true
evidence of loving one’s wife is
the willingness to risk his life to
save her.
Many decisions will have to
be made in every marriage.
Christian couples must rely on
the Lord and apply godly wisdom
in every aspect of their life. Some
decisions you can make as a
team, while others are by either
the wisest of the husband or
wife. To avoid any unnecessary
issues and marital confl ict, come
together in prayer, seeking
God’s wisdom for the best
solution. Remember, Eve was
Adam’s helper. Thus, the wife
compliments her husband by not
overstepping her boundaries.
And the husband love her by
realizing she is intelligent and
when he’s unsure of what to do,
it’s best to consult with his wife
fi rst rather than outside sources.
Be willing to reasonably
compromise, and if the need for
counsel is warranted, meet with
your Pastor(s).
Failure to abide by godly ways
of submission is a form of
dishonoring God. And God will
hold both husband and wife
accountable. As is seen in
Genesis, we witness the fi rst
case of affi xing blame within
the marriage. (Gen. 3:7-19). It’s
convenient to affi x blame when
things go wrong. For a marriage
to meet the mandates of the
Lord, each one is expected
to accept their part and face
the consequences. Going tic
for tac makes matters worse.
Healing can’t proceed unless
accountability and forgiveness is
initiated.
The concept that women should
be dominated by men, and the
truth as outlined in the Bible
The wife shows her willingness
to submit to her husband by
allowing him to take the role of
leadership within the marriage.
As she submits to him, she
submits to God.
“As the church is subject to
Christ, so let wives also be
subject in everything to their

husbands.” (Eph. 5:22).
She submits because it pleases
the Lord and gives proof of her
obedience to God. This doesn’t
mean the husband is a dominant,
selfi sh and unreasonable tyrant
demanding her to jump when
he say jump with no questions
asked.
“In the same way you married
men should live considerately
with your wives, with an intelligent
recognition of the marriage
relation, honoring the woman
as physically-the weaker, but
realizing that you are joint heirs
of the grace (God’s unmerited
favor) of life, in order that your
prayers may not hindered and
cut off. Otherwise you cannot
pray effectively.” (I Peter 3:7)
Men must not use submission
as an avenue to be abusive and
attempt to control his wife. It’s not
about stripping her of her selfesteem
and self-image. Neither
is it for him to belittle and treat
her as if she is his property. Such
actions doesn’t show evidence of
his love and respect for her. This
marks him as a liability rather
than asset to the marriage. This
is not loving her as Christ loves
the church.
Although, every marriage has its
own personal issues, submission
isn’t a matter of convince, nor
should the husband expect her
to submit whether he’s worthy
of it or not. She is to submit to
what is holy and lawful under
the jurisdiction of the Lord. If his
actions, attitude and behavior
and the means in which he acts
towards her isn’t in alignment
with the word of God, she is
under no obligation to submit to
such authority.
“For the eyes of the Lord are
upon the righteous (those who
are upright and in fi ght standing
with God), and His ears are
attentive to their prayer. But the
face of the Lord is against those
who practice evil; to oppose
them, to frustrate, and defeat
them. “ (I Peter 3:12).
If his leadership causes physical,
emotional and mental anguish
to his wife, he has moved out of
the bounds of being a husband
who is providing comfort, trust,
security and love. This is why it’s
imperative for husbands to follow
God’s example in submission.
God was never mean or harsh
to the Church. He loved the
Church. He gave His only Son as
an ultimate sacrifi ce for mankind
to become the righteousness of
God.
When a Christian husband
practice being a dictator and
come before the Lord in prayer,
their prayers are ineffective. He
relinquish his right for the Lord
to answer their prayers. True
submission is to show mutually
respect and love. Husband
and wives must be willing to
yield themselves to the Lord
and practice living together
harmoniously through the
means of nurturing and caring
for each other. This requires
characteristic of:
• Selfl ess love ~ put the concern
of your spouse before your own
~ before acting, asking yourself;
“How will this action or decision
affect my spouse?”
• Having a positive disposition ~
being governed by what’s good,
just and right ~ refusing to be
infected by what is negative and
contrary to biblical principles
• Being Respectful ~ holding
your spouse in the highest
esteem while assuring him/her
of your faithfulness, commitment
and love
• Having a tender heart ~ showing
mercy instead of judgment ~
being compassionate, full of
empathy and God’s grace
• Humility ~ Not using your
authority to assert lordship ~
Being Meek not arrogant and
prideful
When they take their rightful
place and love like Christ love the
church, submission will always
be beautiful and enriching for
both husband and wife will be
sensitive and understanding of
their spouse’s feelings.
“Husbands, love your wives, as
Christ loved the church and gave
His life up for her.” (Eph. 5:25)
The husband recognizes her as
his equal, the one who completes
him. He reassures her that he
will provide, protect and serve
her and is willing to lie down
his life for her. She in return,
gently touches and agrees with
him through her readiness to
honor and respect him, affi rming
his position as headship. They
both consistently look to God
to guide them, coming together
in worship and praise, giving
of thanks, praying and relying
wholeheartedly on the Holy Spirit
to take them from glory to glory.
End Notes:
1). Strong’s Greek Lexicon
Concordance Search Results

Impressing Kids in the
Ways of God
By Deb Martens
Christi Lynn, Marketing Director of Odyssey Adventure Club, met me
with exuberance. As her story unfolded, I caught myself completely
captivated by her unwaivering faith and contagious enthusiasm
concerning her work!
Christi Lynn grew up as a preacher’s kid. She recalled the experiences
of her young friends accepting Jesus into their hearts. At eight years
old, Christi also wanted to follow Jesus. On a Sunday afternoon, sitting
on their living room couch, Christi shared her desire with her dad. It

was then that Christi learned that
it is a personal choice to follow
Jesus and that greatly impacted
her to share this message for the
rest of her life! Following Jesus
is a personal choice.
As Christi grew up, she and her
family discovered some of her
natural talents. By the fi fth grade
she’d fully immersed herself in
music and theatre. Her debut
as Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz
caught the attention of the local
radio station. That experience
encouraged Christi to pursue
opportunities in the radio
broadcast industry at the young
age of 16.
Christi remained solid and
continued to grow in her faith.
Along the way, she recognized
her passion to serve in her
church with children and youth.
She volunteered many hours
with the kids’ choir and shared
her love of Jesus.
Those passions foreshadowed a
lifetime of dedication to sharing
Jesus with children and families.
Christi started working with
Focus on the Family in Colorado
Springs in 2000. At that time
she assisted with radio and
television placement all around
the world. Throughout the
years, she’s worked in numerous
positions focusing on resources
and marketing for Focus on the
Family. She shared that her time
with the ministry has been like a
dream come true!
For over 25 years Adventures
in Odyssey has helped foster
spiritual and character growth
in its listeners (children and
families). Almost two years ago,
the Adventures in Odyssey team
asked a profound question.
What could they do to infuse
the digital era? The team
acknowledged that media is a
way of life for kids today. Through
much inspiration, discussion,
and collaboration the Odyssey
“For over 25
years Adventures
in Odyssey has
helped foster
spiritual and
character growth in
its listeners.”
Adventure Club was created and
launched. The OAC provides
safe online entertainment for
children and families (over 300
hours of biblical audio shows,
online magazines, activities, and
more). The Odyssey Adventure
Club website allows fi ve
different users under one family
account. This capacity further
encourages the entire family to
be engaged in the wide variety of
activities, which spur on spiritual
conversations.
Christi highlighted one of
the elements of the Odyssey
Adventure Club she is most
proud of. A portion of the
membership fees benefi t other
missions based organizations
(Operation Christmas Child,
Christian Veterinary Mission,
Compassion International, and
more). This allows the children
(and families) to put “feet” to
their faith and contribute to
projects that impact the world.
Christi shared that engaging in
this part of OAC exemplifies the
truth that, “together we can do
so much more!”
Adventures in Odyssey gained
quite a following throughout
the years. Odyssey Adventure
Club already appears to be
well received by many children
and families. OAC encourages
families to engage in teachable
moments. Christi shared she’s
moved by the many kids who
accept Jesus through their
connection with Odyssey.
She’s heard of wedding themes
based on Odyssey. However,
her most memorable story she
recalled was how a father was
challenged by his child to turn
off the television and listen to
Odyssey before bed. The dad
agreed to the request. He stated
that this experience changed his
family’s lives. Their family’s fi rst
thoughts in the morning were of
Jesus and their last thoughts at
night were of Jesus!
When questioned what her dream
is for Odyssey Adventure Club,
Christi paused for a moment.
After a bit of contemplation,

Christi shared that she desires
for as many kids to know Jesus
as quick as possible! The sooner
children know Jesus, the quicker
they love Him, and this sets them
on a better path in life. “Like a
house on a fi rm foundation, why
waste your lifetime not knowing
Him? It all goes back to simple
acceptance of Jesus!”
So much of Christi’s career has
focused on infl uencing parents to
actively engage in faith with their
children. I asked Christi if she,
as a mom, has found it diffi cult
to navigate this digital age with
her own kids. She shared that it
is crucial to lay clear boundaries
concerning technology with her
children. She sited examples
of writing cell phone usage
contracts with her teen daughter,
many discussions about
acceptable behavior with social
media, and limits on screen time
for her son. Christi strongly
encourages parents to have
continuous open communication
about media and technology and
very clear boundaries with the
children.
Christi’s enthusiasm remained
strong throughout our
conversation. She shared some
concluding thoughts. Christi
encourages all of us to use every
teachable moment with children
(whether they are our own or we
are in a position of serving kids).
She acknowledges that time is
incredibly short and precious.
Kids need to be assisted in
developing their personal faith.
Parents need to infuse their faith
with their kids. Christi knows
that kids must be able to stand
in their faith when life’s storms
come. Therefore, we must
impress upon our kids the ways
of God!

Love, Honor, and Cherish:
Is it a Lost Art?
By Millicent Njue

These words have been used so often anyone
can recite them. You hear them during weddings
when couples lovingly recite the words to each
other. At this time it often does not take much effort
for the starry eyed bride to unthinkingly say the
words. Or for the groom to excitedly repeat them,
either. Yet how often do the real implications of
the vow the two are making to each other dawn
on them at that time? I would say that the reality
of the whole commitment to each other does not
hit them until they are well over the honeymoon
phase and are then facing real life issues head on.
Love
To explain these three mysteries of the commitment
of love, I am going to give details of the true
meaning of each of the elements mentioned.
Every couple promises to love each other at the
altar before God and man yet not many of them
even stop to think of the commitment that this adds
to their lives. Love is the most beautiful feeling in
the world and anyone who has had the privilege of
having a taste of it will agree with me. Most people
would give anything to have that one person who
makes the world seem all glossy and beautiful
when seen through the eyes of love. Nothing
beats being with that special person who makes
you feel as if you are walking on wings by virtue of
their being in your life. It is a proven fact that every
human being is born with the need to love and be
loved. It seems this search takes much of some
people’s lives while others are blessed enough to
fi nd their partner much earlier in life.
The reality of love however comes in the wake of
knowing your partner well enough after marriage.
Once the fl aws of your partner start to surface, you
realize that you have to live them your entire life
if he/she is unwilling to change. It is important for
me to mention that any efforts to change a person
often end in futility and disappointment, as it is only
God who can change a person. As Christian’s it is
thus important to engage God in our marriages so
that he can fi x those areas that require changing
in our partners and ourselves.
When making the marriage commitment, we
pledge to love our partners in all times and seasons
of life. What this means is that we then commit
to love them despite what comes our way in life.
It is easy to love each other when things are all
rosy and well but those times when trouble comes
knocking require an extra measure of grace to do
that. Every marriage has some difficult times when
the furthest thing in the mind of the couple is love.
During those times there is need to remind oneself
of the commitment entered on the wedding day
and then engage the help of God to triumph over
the trials. God is the author of marriage and has
the blueprint for the success of the institution,
which is the Holy Bible.
I Peter 4:8 says,

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love
covers over a multitude of sins.”
This is just one of the many instructions given in
the Bible about love. It is important to recognize
that the person that you are married to is prone
to falling every now and then, much like you.
Marriage is about two imperfect people coming
together while engaging the help of God in order
to fulfi ll their commitment to each other. None of
this can succeed without the help of God and that
is why it is important that the two keep referring to
the word of God for solutions to any hurdles they
face along the way. God offers grace for the two
to accept and love each other despite their faults
in recognizing that each none of the two is perfect.
When you love someone you put their needs
before your own and go the extra mile to make
them happy. You do not dwell on their faults but
instead look to bringing out the good in them.
Being a positive reinforcement to your spouse is
a God-given role for each of the two. Husbands
are instructed to love their wives while wives
are to submit to their husbands. Nowhere is this
illustrated better in the Bible than here:
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands
as you do to the Lord.for the husband is the head
of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his
body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church
submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to
their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved
the church and gave himself up for her to make her
holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water
through the word, and to present her to himself
as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or
any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this
same way, husbands ought to love their wives
as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves
himself. After all, no one ever hated their own

ody, but they feed and care for their body, just
as Christ does the church—for we are members
of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his
father and mother and be united to his wife, and
the two will become one fl esh. This is a profound
mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the
church. However, each one of you also must love
his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must
respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:22-33
Cherish
To cherish one another means that each partner
upholds the other in high esteem. It is obvious
that that which you cherish you will protect. When
you attach value to your partner and recognize
him/her as God’s perfect gift to you it adds more
commitment to the marriage. When you cherish
your partner you will place them top most after
God. Your relationship with that person matters so
you will go out of your way to ensure that it works
out well. This could involve a lot of work on your
part but you choose to take it on any way as you
are committed to the other.
You cannot effectively love your partner without
cherishing them. It is what makes you rethink the
instances when you might have gone ahead and
taken a drastic step in your marriage. The fact that
you understand that the commitment to love your
partner is a life one will make you seek ways to be
able to make your marriage the best it can be. All
this is with the help of God who offers useful help
for you. In doing so it is important not to lose touch
with the expression of love to your partner. When
you repeatedly declare your commitment to each
other you are in effect nurturing feelings of self
worth to your partner and in return encouraging
them to return the favor. For who can resist the
constant acts and expressions of love coming
their way from the one they have made a life
commitment to!
Treasure your time together and spend it creating
a closer bond with your spouse. This might mean
that you have to go out of your way to support the
interests of the one you love and if that were the
way of love, so be it. Many wives have found favor
in their husband’s eyes by choosing to share in his
interests. It doesn’t hurt for you to sit through the
boring (to you) football game with your husband
just to offer him support. The fact that you choose
to engage in something that he enjoys immensely
is in itself a way of communicating how much you
cherish him.
When you put your partner fi rst they will be pulled
in to doing the same for you. Every couple should
seek out ways of expressing love to each other
and not let the other go without knowing how much
he/she is cherished. Once you inculcate this habit
in your marriage it becomes part of the way that
you live your lives together and sooner or later you
will fi nd that you have become that couple that is
the true emblem of what true Christian marriage is
meant to be.
Honor
Honor in marriage is another important element
that cannot be left behind. Matthew 6:21, “For
where your treasure is, there your heart will be
also.”
Honor in marriage is the difference between fulfi lling
God’s design for your marriage or not. When you
honor a person you will go out of your way to
make them feel most valued in life. You do this by
putting them above all others in the way that you
relate with them. God commands us to honor each
other with our bodies. When you hurt your partner
you are hurting interfering with the testimony of
Christ in your life. Therefore you should be gentle
in the way that you treat each other so that it will
be witness of your love for Christ. For you cannot
claim to love God while treating the partner he has
given you as worthless.
It all boils down to your commitment to God. When
you are keen to follow in the ways that have been
set by God you will not struggle with keeping your
commitment to your marriage partner. It then
becomes easy for you to live within the statutes
that have been set by God for a fulfi lling marriage.
It is in keeping our marriage vows alive that we
exalt the name of God as we then choose to give
meaning to the rules he has spelt out for us. The
choice to love, honor and cherish the one we are
married to is not only an act of obedience to our
loving God but is a way of uplifting the person
whom we are married to the entire time God has
given us to share our lives together.

Finding Quiet
by Mark Danko
If your house is just as busy (and
noisy) as our house, then you
often fi nd it hard to fi nd time to
be alone. I’m not talking about
being alone with your spouse or
being alone with your children;
I’m talking about being ALONE.
With the hustle and bustle of
our morning routine, a frantic
commute to and from work,
dropping off and picking up the
children, even the opportunities
for quiet times in our life are fi lled
with noise such as cell phone
conversations, radio, or music.
Some time, ago, my car stereo
stopped working. In the moment,
I thought this was another
“end times” event and that the
“Rapture” was about to take
place at any moment! However,
I quickly fi lled the uncomfortable
quiet in the vehicle with
streaming radio from my iPhone,
as an interim solution.
Several months have passed
waiting for parts and I recently
got into my vehicle and, after
driving for a whole day , realized
that I hadn’t had anything playing
in the background! Somewhere
along the way, I had actually
gotten used to driving without
any “noise”.
I began to take stock of the
other areas of my life where I
have allowed “noise” to creep
in or where I have introduced it.
I go to bed with the TV on. My
children go to bed with the radio
on, listening to “Adventures in
Odyssey” or Worship music,
which can be heard in the
background at times when we
all go to bed at the same time.
I like to have background music
playing when I’m working. I even
play soft Christian instrumental
music in the Prayer Room during
my prayer and study time. I seem
to always be around “noise”!
Recently, a dear brother in the
Lord gave me a book on fi nding
refuge in the “Secret Place”.
“He who dwells in the secret
place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of
the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my
refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”
Psalm 91:1-2 (NKJV)
Finding quiet in the secret place
to be alone with God can be a
struggle amidst the demands of
today’s busy lifestyles and noisy
households. It takes effort to
carve out time - quiet time - to be
with the Lord. While it may not
be easy, I can assure you, it is
well worth the investment!
And, so, I have found my
way back to an appreciation,
understanding, and love of what
it means to be ALONE and alone
with God. I think that it is in those
quiet times that we hear His “still
small voice”. It is in those times
of refl ection and listening that we
are truly refreshed.
“and after the earthquake a fi re,
but the Lord was not in the fi re;
and after the fi re a still small
voice.”
1 Kings 19:12 (NKJV)
It is said that prayer is a dialogue
not a monologue but I am sure
you have experienced times of
prayer that seemed “one-sided”:
your needs, your wants, and
your desires; your concerns and
your hopes. But what about
God? What does He want?
More importantly, what does He
want from you?
If you have you ever felt God
wasn’t hearing your prayers,
imagine how God feels with you
not hearing Him!
Prayer should be a conversation,
not a dictation. And, it can’t
effectively take place in the
presence of all the noise and
distractions. You are only fooling
yourself.
“Draw near to God and He will
draw near to you.”
James 4:8 (NKJV)
If you are doing all the talking
and none of the listening, you
will experience a “disconnect”
with God, over time.
Matthew 6:8 says that Father
knows what things you have
need of. That means you don’t
have to tell him all about your
problems. Focus your attention,
instead, on Him.
So, fi nd somewhere to be alone
with God and you will discover
the “Secret” of the secret place
for yourself. Blessings.
Mark Danko is happily married and
happy in his marriage to his beautiful
wife, Michelle. Together, they have
been blessed with four boys and are
privileged to personally administer the
educational and character building
requirements for their children. Mark
is a businessman, entrepreneur,
inventor, writer, friend, and church
leader. You can follow Mark on Twitter
@markmdanko

“Having it All”
But At What Price?
By Vernita Simmons
W
hat happens
to a marriage
when one or both
ignores the marriage.
For example, they are
both too busy working
or volunteering to invest
time in the relationship.
How can this be
resolved?
Marriage is a divine
institution ordained
by God between a
man and a woman.
God offi ciated the fi rst
marriage ceremony
in the spectacular
Garden of Eden when
He formed woman from
the rib of the man and
brought her to him.
Then the rib which the
Lord God had taken
from man he made
into a woman, and
he brought her to the
man. Therefore, a man
shall leave his father
and mother and be
joined to his wife, and
they shall become one
fl esh. (Gen 2: 22; 24 ).
They became attached
as one fl esh, united in
body ~ soul ~ spirit. And
you must look to Jesus,
the Master Designer
to follow His plan for
marriage, thereby,
building a marriage that
is strong in the Lord and
endures against any
form of opposition.
In God’s divine purpose,
He knew man needed
soneone of like kind to
complement him, and
He created a helper,
a supporter for man.
And the Lord God
said, “It is not good
that a man should be
alone; I will make him
a helper comparable to
him.” (Gen. 2:18). She
completes him for he
is inadequate without
her. In other words, he
need her as much as
she need him. Thus,
the husband is to love
his wife unconditionally
as God loves us.
Husbands, love your
wives, just as Christ
also loved the church

skills wisely between
your job, family/parents,
childern (if there’s any),
church attendance,
community activities
and other obligations.
You must learn to
balance your daily
schedule.
and gave Himself for
her. So husbands
ought to love their own
wives as their own
bodies; he who loves
his wife loves himself.
(Eph. 5:25; 28). He is
to love her no matter
what. He is willing to
provide, protect, serve
her and if necessary,
risk his life to save her.
Likewise, the wife is to
respect him and esteem
him wholeheartedly.
Nevertheless, let each
of you in particular so
love his own wife as
himself, and let the wife
see that she respects
her husband. (Eph.
4:33). This is the means
through which she gives
honor to him.
In today’s society
marriage has
undergone a major
reconstruction which
excludes the principles
of God. Within far too
many marriages, Love,
honor and obey has
been replaced with I~
Me ~ My syndrome.
With such an attitude,
this shift in marriage
has left far too many
couples distant,
selfi sh, unthankful and
thoughtless. But there
is hope!
Marriage is not about
a man controlling his
wife nor, a woman
reconstructing her
husband. Men and
women are different
physical, emotionally,
spiritually, and mentally.
You think differently.
Each of you have your
own unique fuction.
You have to learn
how to live together
harmoniously and build
a godly marriage that’s
built on a foundation
based upon love,
trust, mutual respect,
living peacefully and
most importantly the
principles of marriage
written in the infallible
word of God. To
succeed at this, it is
the responsibility of
both husband and wife
to spend quality time
together. You must
apply time management
Financial security
and participating in
community activities
are good for a marriage.
However; when your
job or other obligations
become more important
than spending
vaulable time with your
spouse, it’s time for an
adjustment. You must
never prefer anything or
anyone over being with
your husband or wife.
Such shelfi sh actions
will create feeling of
loneliness, rejection,
emptiness and neglect
and may aide in your
mate fi nding other
means of fulfi llment;
such as infi delity.
As it pertains to your
job, it’s of urgency that
you and your spouse
discuss your work hours
including overtime,
income and expenses
and design a mutually
agreed upon schedule
that allows you to have
more alone time. If need
be, you can speak to a
wise Christian Leader,
such as your Pastor
(s) to help resolve this
problem.
This requires the
ability to communicate

effectively. It is
imperative to refrain
from taking your spouse
for granted. And other
than the spiritual leader,
keep outside forces
out of your marriage.
This includes public
opinions, advice from
family or friends or
your neighbors. And
you must understand
your spouse style of
language. You both
have to be openminded,
sensitive and
understanding on how
your husband or wife
feels. Your tone of
voice, body language,
fascial expressions
and choice of words
must convey that you
love and respect your
spouse. To achieve
such a mandate,
you’re willing to make
a sacrifi ce, working
together to compliment
each other. Once you
unite in marriage,
you must refrain from
acting as though you
are yet single. This
demonstrates the
message that your mate
is no longer important
to you and the marriage
is insignifi cant.
It’s not about how long
you have been married.
It’s about loving and
respecting each other
and treating your
spouse with kindness
and gratitude. It’s
about your attitude!
And communication
is the major element
to overcome this.
It must began with
acknowledging how
you have not been
attentive in satisfying a
major need within the
marriage. That you have
allowed other things to
pre-occupy your time
and you apologize for
being insensitive and
thoughtless. Bearing
with one another, and
forgiving one another, if
anyone has a complaint
against another; even
as Christ forgave you, so
you also must do. (Col.
3:13). And because you
aren’t going to allow
pride to get in your way,
you forgive and talk the
situation through while
listening attentively to
the other. And above all
things have fervent love
for one another, for love
will cover a multitude of
sins. ( 1 Peter 4 : 8 ).
Remember, the enemy
hates any marriage
ordained by God. And
the adversary will use
any type of distractions
and division to keep you
and spouse apart. You
must stay on guard.
And the husband must
take the lead to keep
the devil out of your
marriage. The thief
does not come except
to steal, and to kill, and
to destroy. I have come
that they may have life,
and they may have
it more abundantly.
(John 10:10). It is your
responsibility to take
authority, by the Holy
Spirit dwelling within
you, over the enemy
lest he get a foothold in
your marriage. Nor give
place to the devil. (Eph.
4:27). You must balance
time with anything or
anybody who try to
come between you and
your spouse spending
time together. This
includes your family/
parents, friends,
co-workers, the job and
outside avtivities.
Childern are vital to
the marriage. When
a couple is in union,
they create a safe and
secure home for their
childern. Parents lead
the way in establishing
family customs which
will be passed down
from generation to
gneration. When the
childern see their
mom and dad coming
together in harmony to
resolve disagreements,
they realize that they
can’t come between
their parents. As
the parents set the
example by loving and
respecting each other
and their willingness
to understand,
compromise and apply
the principles of God to
resolve family issues,
you are providing
your childern with the
valuable skills, wisdom
and knowledge to build
a successful strong
Christian marriage.
Be willing to sit and
discuss this matter
calmly and reasonable.
Always keep your
spouse best interest at
heart. Before discussing
the situation, come
together and go before
God in prayer for divine
intervention. “Again,
I say to you that if two
of you agree on earth
concerning anything
that they ask; it will be
done for them by My
Father in heaven. (Matt.
18:19). There is power
when a husband and
wife agree with Jesus in
terms of their marriage.
And when you involve
the Lord, the results will
be astonishing.
You made a promise
to each other, your
wedding pledge is yet
sacred. Think back on
how you made time
for him or her while
you were dating. You
couldn’t wait to see
each other. You spent
hours talking, laughing
and enjoying each
other’s company. Now,
you’ve gotten so busy,
it’s as if you’re no
longer marrried. And
although no marriage
is without confl ict,
disappointments
or hardships, you
both must choose to
model the character
of God through your
attitude ~ behavior ~
communication.
Your old carnal nature
was focus on Me~
Myself ~ I. It was; “What
about me?” Now, you
have been transitioned

from your singleness into a
covenant marriage with another
human being. Therefore, if
anyone is in Christ, he is a new
creation, old things have passed
away; behold, all things have
become new. (II Cor. 5:17).
And you must move from a
selfi sh to a selfl ess and servant
attitude. Your pursuit must be in
fi nding ways to live in harmony
and peace with your spouse.
Your passion have to be about
sharing your life together. This
takes discipline, perseverance,
commitment and compassion.
If the sparkle in your marriage
goes out, take time out and look
into your inner most being to see
how you can restore the joy and
bring back the romance into your
marriage. Instead of affixing
blame, examine your heart.
Created in me a clean heart,
O God, and renew a steadfast
Spirit within me. Restore to me
the joy of Your salvation, and
uphold me by your gracious
spirit. (Psalms 51:10; 12).
Remember your priorities and
the sacred pledge you made to
your spouse. Take the intiative
to show your spouse that you
love him/her and how important
it is that you two reconnect. Here
are some suggestions on how to
expess this.
l Write a love note stating, “I
apologize that I’ve been too
busy to spend time time with you
and express how much I love
you and how vaulable you are in
our marriage. Please forgive me.
I’m bringing home your favorite
meal and made arrangements
for us to have an intimate dinner
tonite.” (Make sure to arrange
for a a babysitter to keep the
childern)
II Call and Say, “I’m coming
home early this evening and
would enjoy sitting down talking
to you about what we can do
together to rearrange my job
schedule that we can spend
more quality time as a couple.”
III Approach her and say, “I’ve
noticed that you are scheduled
to volunteer at the Commmunity
Center this Saturday for a few
hours. I would enjoy going with
you and afterwards we can go
out for lunch at your favorite
restaurant.”
lV Take hold of your spouse and
say, “I love you. My life is empty
without you, baby.”
V Praise her and say, “It’s
amazing how you take care of
the kids. What can I do to help?”
Vl Look into your spouse’s eyes
and say, “ I’ve been thoughtless
and insensitive and taken you
and our marriage for granted. I
just want to hold you close and
reassure that you are important
to me.”
VII Other ideas: Going jogging,
walking or running together in
the park and afterwards have a
picnic expressing your love to
each other ~ Arrange a romantic
weekend together ~Surprise
your spouse with a romantic
candle light dinner ~ Have a
monthly datenight ~ Leave love
notes in specifi c places that you
know they are likely to fi nd them.
For your marriage to survive
through difficult times, you must
be willing to invest time to get
the love back. Each marriage is
different and you should never
compare your marriage to that
of your siblings, your friends
or the neighboros. God is the
mastermind of marriage. And
He has a divine plan for your
marriage. For I know the plans
I how for you, declares the
Lord, plans to prosper you and
to give you hope and a future.
(Jer. 29:11). God desires your
marriage to fl urish as an example
for the world to follow. And
your marriage should always
represent your faithfulness to
God that’s based upon your
covenant realitionship with the
Lord. Here are some essential
characteristic both husband and
wife should practice.
· Cherish the covenant
partnership by loving and
respecting your spouse
· Touching and agreeing in
prayer everyday
· Build up with words of
Affi rmation Refuse to tear down
with affi xing blame or speaking
negative and harsh words to
your spouse
· Encourage ~ Don’t cricitize
· Affi rm with loving statements: I
love you ~You’re vaulable to me
~ I want you
· Focus on their strength rather
than their weakness
No marriage comes with a lifetime
warranty of absoulte perfection.
Throughout your marriage the
husband and wife must pursue
God relentlessly and commit
to trust in His divine direction
completely. The image of your
marriage is to reflect the selfl ess
love of God through the means
you love and respect each other.
By applying the principles of
God to strengthen the foundatin
of your marriage whereby, you
commit to live together and bring
glory and honor to God.

When “Just Saying No” is
Dangerous
By Michelle C. Danko
T
his may be a discussion that you don’t
want to hear, but it is a necessary one to
educate married couples on. Sit-coms
make fun of the amouous husband and the weary
wife whose put-off look always reads, “You have
got to be kidding me! You really want sex now?”
He always wants it, and she rarely wants it. Yet
no one asks the question as to why they don’t
want to be intimate, and no one speaks about
the temptations that men face when they are “cut
off”- especially for extended periods of time.
The gender views on sex vary drastically and
have changed through the years. Long ago, it
was seen as a wife’s duty to please her husband
sexually. It was something you did, not something
you enjoyed. If you did enjoy it, no one should
know about it, and if there were problems, no
one should hear about it. Good wives never

mentioned it.
Today, the topic between
married couples has become
almost distasteful for some. It is
the attitude of if he’s horny and
I’m not, he should respect my
feelings and please himself. It
is not my place to take care of
his incessant needs. He should
respect your desire that you don’t
want to have sex, but as his wife,
you need to fulfi ll his needs too.
If you feel the scales in terms of
equality are not balanced, then
you need to communicate your
thoughts to him lovingly because
in most men’s minds, if you
aren’t indicating that there is a
problem, they think everything is
going great.
You are to blame, though. If
he doesn’t hear otherwise, how
is he to know what’s going on?
Men are oblivious to “subtle”
cues, unlike women. They are
more logical problem solvers
than emotional readers. You
need to speak male to be heard.
He’s just wired that way.
The irony is that when it comes
to sex, it’s racier outside of
marriage and steamer than it
is inside of marriage where it
belongs. Maybe it’s the thought
of doing something “naughty”
or “forbidden” that generates
excitement. It could also be that
with increased responsibilities,
life, the pressures of life,
fi nancial and career woes, and
children that many spouses just
don’t make time for each other
anymore. They aren’t focused
on one another. When they
do come together, they are so
exhausted that all they give each
other are scraps.
A woman’s initial reaction to
being told that they should fulfi ll
their husband’s sexual needs (as
he should yours) is indignation. I
admittedly had the same reaction
myself when confronted with this
truth. My internal conversation
was something like: “Why should
I be expected to “put out” when
I don’t want to? Sex should be
a mutual thing and would it hurt
him to be a bit more romantic
and a little less ‘wham, bam,
thank-you ma’am?”
In a way, it is humorous- our
thought process- however the
feelings behind them are real.
Women don’t want to feel like
a possession to their spouse.
They want to be romanced
and pursued- that’s why we
like romance novels and sappy
movies! It seems unfair to us to
be told that we have to meet our
husband’s sexual need when
ours need for romance goes
neglected. We don’t get aroused
at the drop of a hat- it takes time.
Why do men seemingly get what
they want?
Yet there are two sides to
this argument and the truth is
somewhere in the middle.
The reality is that you could be
unintentionally damaging your
relationship. Men need sex to
feel love, and women need love
to have sex. The relationship is
wonderfully intertwined, and if a
husband loves his wife, he will
not mind romancing her a bit.
Most men, however, think that
romance is expensive so they
shy away from it. Wives, you
may have to give him some costeffective
solutions.
When one side of this dynamic
fails, however, the result is
rejection- especially for a male.
Men will only suffer this type of
rejection for a short time before
they become tempted- and

temptation is never far away.
Rejection creates feelings of low self-worth as
a man wonders why his wife no longer wants to
have sex. He mentally deems her “frigid” without
perhaps trying to understand the reason behind
her hesitation. Temptation never begins in the
form of an affair, but can lead to one. Just as a
woman needs to talk to her mate to feel intimate, a
man needs sex to feel that connection to his wife.
Most feelings of rejection spiral into selfgratifi
cation and pornography, which are serious
addictions unto themselves. Men get to a point
where it physically hurts not to get a release and
end up gratifying themselves. However, men
are visual creatures, so they need some type of
stimulation to get them aroused. That is where
the sin and deception come in. Masturbation is
self-indulgence.
Men, when they self gratify, are taking something
that was meant for their wives and satisfying
themselves. The Bible never directly speaks
against self-gratifi cation, but it does cover sexual
sin. The sin isn’t in the release, but the images
that lead up to the release.
“Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefi led:
but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
Hebrews 13:4
How do you get to be an adulterer? Look no further
than Matthew and Job:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit
adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at
a woman lustfully has already committed adultery
with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28
The sin begins long before self-gratifi cation. It
is in the lustful images and desires they create
towards someone that isn’t your spouse. Most
men wouldn’t dream of telling their wives that they
fantasize about someone else while having sex
with them. Yet this is what pornography leads to.
While most men will stop at pornography, some will
go on to have affairs. The seed has already been
sown and often bitterness begins to take root. It can
begin with that fl irtatious girl in the offi ce with the
slightly revealing clothing, sexual innuendos gone
too far, or even cyber sex. Affairs are more due to
unmet needs than just sex, although sometimes it
stems from the pain of rejection over sex.
I don’t think that there is any woman out there that
wants to go through the feelings of betrayal and
low self-esteem that accompany a porn addiction
or the heartbreak and betrayal of an affair. The
message that porn sends to women is that they
don’t physically measure up. They suffer the
feelings of low self esteem from it because they
are already being bombarded by media about
image. Women do not like their husbands ogling
another woman. It makes them feel inferior. If
we are honest, pornography isn’t o.k. with us, and
it’s not harmless. Even if we did create the very
situation we hoped to avoid.
The arguments women give about porn being
acceptable are weak. The thought of “at least he
has sex with me” statement is false. He is not
having sex with just you. Images of other women
are fi lling his head, and that is not o.k. in God’s
eyes, and shouldn’t be fi ne in yours. You need to
be the one he thinks of, lusts after, and wants to
pursue. Not someone else: real or fi ctitious.
So how do you make this paradigm work without
sacrifi cing your own self-worth?
For women, it means that if her husband is feeling
amorous and she isn’t, she can still creatively meet
his needs without sex. Most men are happy with
the touch and release if they understand that they
are not being rejected. However, don’t withhold
sex, and don’t ever use sex as a weapon to get
your own way. Eventually you will wish you hadn’t.
It’s a dangerous game to play.
Men, cut out the porn. Starve your eyes from all
impure images and focus on your wife’s beauty. It
will draw you closer as never before, and the sex
will be more intense because your desire will be
for something godly.
“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with
lust upon a girl. I know full well that the Almighty
God sends calamity on those who do.” Job 31:1-3
Romance your wives and talk to them. It is the
BEST aphrodisiac. She needs to feel valued too
and this is how she hears it. Romance can be

holding open a car door, taking
care of the kids while she has a
bubble bath, taking care of the
housecleaning for one day…
It’s the little things that speak
volumes. Make her feel sexy
and desirable- outside of the
bedroom. Perceived ulterior
motives cause things to go south
really quickly.
By repeatedly rejecting sexual
advances, the message of
begin undesirable becomes
clear. Is that the message you
want to send to your spouse?
Compromise in this situation is
as simple as an honest dialogue.
Most men don’t know what their
wives want. Men are problem
solvers, so if they new, they
probably would have solved the
problem long ago. The reality
is that if you don’t verbally say
anything, he assumes that
things are o.k. He is not wired
for verbal cues like other women,
just like women often want to sort
through their feelings without
someone offering them a quick
solution.
While the importance of sexually
satisfying your spouse may be
somewhat distasteful to some
woman as they feel like they are
made to be a possession, it is
important to your marriage. If
you marriage is indeed important
to you, and you don’t want your
husband to fall into sexual sin,
then you must fi nd a happy
medium as a couple. Think
about it this way: how would you
feel if he repeatedly rejected
you? Why is it that women feel
hurt when their husbands don’t
want to have sex, and yet think
nothing of doing the same? If
you hurt and feel rejected by this,
then what makes you think that
he doesn’t feel the same way?
This year, women, give your
husbands all of you. Be creative!
We know it’s what you do best!
Men, communicate lovingly to
your wives. Don’t objectify her,
but love her. After all, this union
was meant to last forever. Also,
if you fi nd yourself being rejected
by your wife, pray for her that her
eyes would be opened. Let God
deal with her heart, but do not
enter into sexual sin. It leads
only to destruction.

Robert Bakke:
Life With God at Full Throttle
By Jessica Price
robert Bakke’s passion
for life translates through the
pages of his book Prayer at
Full Throttle much the same
way that it does when he took
the time to speak with me over
the phone. It becomes clear
almost immediately during our
conversation that Pastor Bakke
is “all in” in life. Pastor Bakke
made time during his ever-inmotion
life to speak with me
at length about his past, his
present, and his desire to fulfi ll
God’s plan. After Bakke’s fi rst
book, he thought that he was
never going to write another.
He felt he had checked that box
off. God had other plans. After
he experienced the miracle
that saved his friend Riley’s life
on the race track, God made it
clear to Robert that he wanted
him to write a book about
prayer. Pastor Bakke describes
his writing experience as a
huge lesson in “obedience and
sacrifi ce.” He humbly credits
God with providing him with all
the motivation to complete his
now best selling book. At the
time of our conversation, Prayer
at Full Throttle was in its 26th
consecutive week of being the
best selling book in its category
for kindle sales on amazon.
That is an almost unheard of
accomplishment for a selfpublished
work.
With his black belt in karate,
his career as a jet captain, his
NASCAR accomplishments, and
his work as an ordained minister,

Pastor Bakke is no passive wall
fl ower of a Christian. Robert
Bakke takes God command to be
the “light on the hill that cannot
be hidden” very seriously. He
feels that God has given him a
job in life to convey to others that
“all things are possible” through
Christ. His grandfather, who
came over to this country from
Norway at age 18 in search of a
better life, made an everlasting
impact on Robert’s life with
his bravery and courage, and
Mr. Bakke is fully caring on the
legacy of courage in his own
existence. In the questions
Mr. Bakke answered below, he
goes into detail about some of
the main points of his book and
shares the message of hope
that with prayer, all things are
possible.
Prayer at Full Throttle, How
Performance-Based Prayers
Make Miracles Happen is your
second book. Can you tell
us what the writing process
has been like for you? How
were the first and second
experiences different?
The process used in writing
the two books was completely
different. The call to begin the fi rst
book came while I was reading
the New Testament in college. I
was shown visions for the many
journeys I was to complete, and
was to be taking notes along the
way…notes about what I was
learning. Those notes were to
be the foundation of the book. So
essentially, I was compiling notes
for many years in the process
of writing the fi rst book. The
book is an inspirational comedy
entitled, “BIG Wallet, NO Pants!”
The book is still available today
through Amazon in paperback
and e-book and has (truly!) one
of the cutest covers of all time.
The second book, “Prayer at Full
Throttle” was never planned. In
fact, I had no intention of ever
writing another book! But then
one night the presence of the
Lord came upon me and said,
literally, “You’re going to write a
book on prayer.” I had no idea
where I would come up with
enough information to write a
book on the subject! So, I told
the Lord that if He’d have to
provide the content. Unlike the
fi rst book, there were no journeys
involved. No notes. No research.
I just sat down and begin
writing the thoughts that were
coming into my head. Twentyfi
ve months later the book was
completed and instantly became
a bestseller on Amazon. As of
this moment the book is in its
twenty-fi fth straight week as
a bestseller and has already
gone around the world. Nothing
I would have written on my own
could have done something like
this. Make no mistake…”Prayer
at Full Throttle” is God’s book,
not mine.
In your book, you stress
the importance of reading
the Bible for yourself. What
specifically about reading the
Bible on your own changed
you? Before you read the Bible
for yourself, how were your
beliefs about God different
from what they are today?
Before reading the Bible for
myself, my perceptions about
God and Christianity were
shaped by my closed-Bible
Sunday morning religion. I was
taught to believe I was a sinner;
that I was to be passive, and
that “living without” was the way
God wanted us to live. Since
we never opened the Bible in
church, how would we know
anything different? Keeping the
Bible closed never made any
sense to me, but nobody ever
challenged it. As for me, I was
just the scrawny little kid who
was picked last in gym class
almost every day. There was no
way I was going to challenge
it either. Trust me, confi dence
was not my strong suit. But
that all changed while I was
reading the New Testament in
college. While reading I found
myself repeatedly saying, “Why
don’t they teach you this stuff
in church?”The content was
powerful. It was inspirational. It
was making me stronger by the
day, and then visions for my life
began appearing. It was then
I realized there was a calling
being placed on my life. As
crazy as it seemed at the time, I
believed the Lord was asking me
to complete a list of journeys…
the visions I was being shown, to
prove to the world that “all things
are possible.” My life today is a
refl ection of that effort. Had I not
have read the Bible for myself, I
cringe at the thought of what my
life might have looked like.
You call Christians to action.
You stress that, as the Bible
says, “Faith without works is
dead.” Ephesians 2:8-9 says,
“For it is grace you have been
saved, through faith-and this
not from yourselves, it is the
gift of God-not by works, so
that no one can boast.” Can
you clarify the line between
these 2 very important
messages?
There is an “entitlement” styled
false teaching spreading through
the Christian community today
about “grace.” Certain ministries

are playing to the “itching ears”
of people who are looking for the
blessings of faith, but who are
unwilling to put fourth the effort,
the fi nance, or the behavior
necessary to receive these
blessings. Think about it, why
should a person bother to tithe
if by grace there are no longer
any works required? (Tithing is a
“works.”) Or, why not live together
with your girlfriend or boyfriend?
We’re under grace, right? I hear
things like this almost every day.
Unfortunately, this watered down
version of grace puts believers
at risk of a dangerous slide into
sin.
This slanted teaching of grace
is actually discussed in the
New Testament book of Jude
(Jude1:4). I encourage you
to read this verse in various
translations. It states: “For certain
men have crept in unnoticed,
who long ago were marked out
for this condemnation, ungodly
men, who turn the grace of our
God into lewdness and deny
the only Lord God and our Lord
Jesus Christ.”
Once and for all, let’s get this
straightened out for your readers.
We are “SAVED” by grace. It
is by grace, not works, we are
given the free gift of SALVATION.
As you have indicated above in
Ephesians 2:8 “For it is by grace
you have been SAVED…”
BUT! Once a person is saved,
they begin their life of FAITH, and
you PROVE your FAITH by your
“WORKS.” The New Testament
provides endless teachings on
this. In addition to your example
above (James 2:17), here are
several others:
“You are the light of the world. A
city on a hill cannot be hidden.”
How can you be the light on hill,
by doing nothing? It is by your
works that you become the light
on the hill.” Matthew 5:14
“Let your light shine before men,
that they can see you good
works and glorify your Father in
heaven.” Matthew 5:16
. “This is the story of the talents.
The hardest workers who earned
the most profi t are rewarded,
and the least productive servant
is called “lazy and wicked” and
is cast into outer darkness.”
Matthew 25:18-31
(The Grand Commission, spoken
by Jesus) Jesus commanded:
“Go into all the world and preach
the gospel to every creature.”
Mark 16:15
Is not the word, “Go” a command
to get to work?”
“I can DO all things through
Christ who strengthens me.”
Philippians 4:13
Why would God bother to
strengthen us through Christ to
DO ALL THINGS, if we weren’t
to use it for something? This is
one of the most powerful “works”
scriptures in the New Testament,
but because it has become a
cliché’ most people don’t catch
it.
“But be DOERS of the word,
and not hearers only, deceiving
yourselves.” The key words
here are “deceiving yourselves.”
James 1:22
“…but a DOER of the work, this
one will be BLESSED in what he
DOES.” James 1:25
“Was not Abraham our father
justifi ed by works when he
offered Isaac his son on the
altar? Do you see that faith was
working together with his works,
and by works his faith was made
perfect?” James 2:21-22
“But by the grace of God
I am what I am, and His
grace toward me was not is
vain; but I LABORED MORE
ABUNDANTLY than they all, yet
not I, but the grace of God which
was with me.” Some translations
write this as “worked harder than
them all…” 1 Corinthians 15:10
In the chapter “Fish Don’t
Climb Trees,” you write about
the importance of having full
faith when we pray. So many
Christians, myself included,
struggle with doubt even after
we give it to God. What have
you found to be the most
effective way to eliminate the
doubt and allow yourself to be
fully embraced by God’s love?
The Bible tells us that “Faith
comes by hearing, and hearing
by the Word of God.” (Romans
10-17) I prefer to teach this
as “Faith comes by hearing
and hearing and hearing and
hearing by the Word of God.”
The elimination of doubt begins
by staying in the Word. Read the
Bible as much as you can (out
loud when possible). Keep your
car fi lled with faith fi lled CDs.
Listen to Christian radio. Stay
close to and have conversations
with faith fi lled friends. This will
begin to fi ll your heart. Once this
happens your heart will begin
to “fi ll your mouth.” In other
words, you will begin speaking

faith fi lled words as opposed to
words of doubt. What-you-sayis-huge.
Open your Bible and
read Mark 11:23-24. I truly enjoy
the King James version of this
(Jesus is speaking), “For verily
I say unto you, That whosever
shall say unto this mountain, Be
thou removed and be cast into
the sea; and shall not doubt in
his heart, but shall believe that
those things which he saith shall
come to pass; he shall have
whatsoever he saith. Therefore
I say unto you, whey ye pray,
believe that ye receive them,
and ye shall have them.”
Believe in your heart, and say
it with your mouth! And then
stay-in-belief even while you are
waiting to see it. Don’t ever say
things like, “I prayed but nothing
happened.” These are words
of doubt, and your prayer, dies.
Do what Jesus just said to do,
“Believe you receive them, and
ye shall have them.”
Secondly, before anyone “gives
it to God” they need to be
sure they’ve have “done all”
themselves, fi rst. Too many
people are running around
repeating a bumper sticker that
says, “Let go and let God.” It’s a
bumper sticker, not the Bible! This
teaching has disappointment
written all over it. In Ephesians
6:13 we are instructed stop
working and “stand” only after
we have “done all.” How many
Christians have “done all” fi rst?
My point is, all of us have a
works to play in the process of
prayer. Works are a part of our
faith, and in Matthew 9:29 were
are told, “By your faith be it onto
you.” If you haven’t done all you
can fi rst, your faith will suffer,
and you will fall into doubt.
Praying with doubt, that’s a no-go
in the world of prayer. Saying you
believe in God, and then praying
with doubt is to be “double
minded.” In James 1:6-8 we are
told that a “double minded man
shall receive nothing.” It doesn’t
get much any clearer than that.
Let’s look at a real world example
of this. Suppose a person is
praying for weight loss. They
have two choices. They can
pray, and then turn it over to God.
Or, they can pray, unceasingly
(1 Thessalonians 5:17) while
staying in the Word. In addition,
they can also change their eating
habits, and begin exercising
30-minutes every day. In other
words, they begin adding “works”
to their faith. Having prayed
in faith, backed by works, this
person can stand before God
with a confi dent expectation of
receiving their requested prayer
blessing. To take their faith even
a step further, they can begin
thanking God for their weight
loss, every day, even before
they see it in the natural world
(…believe you receive it and you
shall have it.). This also shows
the kind of faith God taught
Abraham, and is taught again
in Romans 4:17 “…and calls
those things which be not as
though they were.” I absolutely
guarantee that the person who
adds works, and words, of faith
to their prayer life will be begin
seeing the supernatural results
they are looking for.
You write about your godson
Robby. He had a profound
impact on the way you viewed
your relationship with God.
Can you tell the readers more
about the importance of that
relationship with him?
Robbie is a boy who was raised
by his single mom and his
sister. They were fi nancially
strapped and living with only
the essentials. And whatever
else they had around the house
was in Robbie’s own words, “girl
stuff.” Robbie was an awesome
little kid, and since I was living in
comparative abundance, I begin
gifting him with “guy stuff” and
taking him to “guy places.”
To this day I have never met
anyone who was so thankful for
everything little thing. Robbie
thanked me, constantly, for
everything. People eventually
began asking me if I was afraid
I might be “spoiling him.” My
answer was always the same.
“When Robbie stops saying
‘thank you,’ I’ll stop giving.”
It was Robbie’s appreciation
and constant thanks that fi nally
opened my eyes to all that the
Lord had been doing for me, but
that I was failing to thank Him
for. But what really opened my
eyes, was when Robbie began
giving me credit for things in
front of his friends. There were
many things Robbie could have
taken for granted or worse yet,
taken credit for, or been prideful
over, but never once was he.
Robbie would always give me
the praise…give me the honor…
for what he now had. And he
did it publically. It was Robbie,
literally, who taught me to say
“thank you” to the Lord, and to
honor and give praise to the
Lord to my friends and in public.
What an amazing blessing he
has been to my life.
You write about the hot topic
of money, both in the form of

tithes and in the compensation
that pastors and other clergy
receive for their services.
Can you explain to readers
why it was important for you
to address these issues? Do
you feel that monetary issues
deter individuals from being
religious leaders? If there was
more money to be made in that
arena, can you imagine that
there would be any negative
ramifications?
Fasten your seat belt and put on
your crash helmet. Everything
your readers think they know
about money, and money as it
relates to ministry, is about to
explode….
I have never seen anything more
miss-taught in all of my life as I
have with the subject of money.
I mean, geez, if people wanted
to know “the truth” about money,
all they had to do was open the
Bible and read it for themselves.
To answer the fi rst part of your
question, yes, people should be
tithing, and they should have
been raised up being taught
this by the church so it is an
automatic part of their thinking.
Unfortunately, most pastors are
afraid of the subject so they
avoid it and in doing so, produce
congregations of people who
show up in church on Sunday
but who never truly experience
the full power of all that God
and prayer have to offer. Why?
Because not tithing to the Lord,
is “stealing” from the Lord, and
stealing from the Lord (which is
also breaking a commandment)
doesn’t exactly motivate the
Lord in the area of your prayers.
Every one of your readers needs
to open their Bibles to the book
of Malachi and read 3:8-11.
In these versus they will learn
these three things. First, that not
tithing is stealing from the Lord.
Secondly, that by tithing, the will
“open the windows of heaven
and pour you out a blessing that
you will not have room enough to
receive it.” You will also see that
the Lord invites you to challenge
Him on this! Read it! He says,
“Prove me now…” In some
translations it reads, “Put me to
the test…” And thirdly, by tithing,
the Lord says He will “rebuke the
devourer” which is Satan, the
destroyer, out of your life.
I know most people don’t think
they can afford to tithe, but try it
for year and track what your life
looks like. You’ll discover that
you can’t afford not to tithe. And
for those who have been led to
believe that tithing is exclusively
and Old Testament practice, I
invite you to read Matthew 23:23,
Luke 11:42, and Luke 18:12, all
of which are tithing references
by Jesus, Himself. And also read
the entire chapter of Hebrews 7.
The next thing people need to
be awakened to is the fact that
several of the men God has
chosen to highlight in the Bible
were the wealthiest men in the
world! And not once did God
attack them for their money. In
fact it is just the opposite. It was
God who was blessing them with
it. “But thou shalt remember the
Lord thy God: for it is he that
giveth thee the power to get
wealth, that he may establish
his covenant…” The grandest
example of this is with Abram,
later named Abraham, who was
the man God chose to be our
earthly father. Abram wasn’t just
“rich.” Read Genesis 13:2 and
you discover something more…
“And Abram was ‘very’ rich in
cattle, in silver, and in gold.”
Abram, wasn’t just rich. He
was “very” rich. And God never,
not one time, told Abram to
give away all his money. Why?
Because God knew Abram’s
heart belonged to God. And
that’s where you need to focus
your attention. The Bible says
we are to “love the Lord with all
our heart, of all our soul, all of
our mind and all of our strength.”
How did God know Abram love
Him like this? Because later,
when God asked him (now
named Abraham) to lay his only
son, Isaac, on the altar and
drive a dagger through his belly,
Abraham did just that. He laid
his son on the altar and raised
a dagger. The Lord allowed it
to be stopped, but obviously
Abraham’s heart for the Lord
was never in question. This was
the same heart-check that Jesus
gave the rich young ruler when
the ruler asked how he might
get into heaven. Jesus told him,
“Sell all your possessions and
give the money to the poor.”
Unlike like Abraham who was
willing to raise a dagger to his
son, the rich young ruler wasn’t
willing to “raise a dagger” to
his possessions. Instead, he
frowned and walked away from
Jesus, as the young ruler trusted
more in his money than he did
in Jesus. This parable has been
used by the church as a teaching
against wealth, when in reality, it
was a heart check. Again, God
never asked Abraham to give up
his wealth because Abraham’s
heart was sold out to the Lord.
Abraham is not the only example
of wealth’s acceptability in
the Bible. Keep reading the
paragraphs beyond Genesis

13:2. You’ll see that Lott was
also a rich man. As was Job,
whose wealth God doubled. And
then there was little David who
slew Goliath, who would grow
up to be King of Israel and very,
very wealthy. And then there was
David’s son, Solomon, who God
fl at-out blessed with more wealth
than most of us can possible
imagine. God blessed Solomon
with extreme wealth! So why
would God do this if wealth was
wrong or evil? He wouldn’t. As
a matter of fact, God actually
enjoys our success. Want proof?
Read Psalm 35:27 “…Let the
Lord be magnifi ed, which hath
pleasure in the prosperity of his
servant.” You just read it with
your own eyes. The Lord feels
magnifi ed and actually takes
pleasure in your prosperity.
Don’t you feel good when your
children do well? In fact in Psalm
1:2-3 you’ll see that when you
stay close to the Lord you will
prosper in whatever you do! The
Lord wants you to be productive,
and successful.
Being productive and successful
is exactly the lesson given in the
story of talents (which are silver
coins) which was mentioned
earlier (Matthew 25:14-30). In
this life changing parable, those
servants who are the most
productive with their money,
those who multiply their money
the most (although this parable
applies to more than just money)
are the servants who are given
even more, and are celebrated.
Read it for yourself!
“But Robert, the Bible says
money is the root of all evil and
that we are blessed for being
poor.” My answer? Read it for
yourself. I Timothy 6:10 says it is
the “love of money is the root of all
evil.” What is the love of money?
It is called, GREED. That verse
is best understood by reading
it as, “For GREED is the root of
all evil.” And greed my friends,
exists at all socioeconomic
levels, not just with the rich.
Greed, is everywhere.
As for the poor being blessed
for their poverty, again, read it
for yourself. It is Matthew 5:3.
It doesn’t say, “Blessed are the
poor.” It says, “Blessed are the
poor in spirit.” The defi nition of
“poor in spirit” is “humble.” So
this scripture could be read,
“Blessed are the humble.” And
why are the humble, blessed?
Because they recognize their
need for the Lord and make
room for Him, and when you
make room for the Lord, you
become a very powerful asset to
the kingdom.
As for the fi nancial compensation
for pastors, I believe pastors,
preachers and other ministers
should be among the highest
paid professionals, and so does
God. First of all, read 1 Timothy
5:17-18, “Let the elders who rule
well be worthy of double honor,
especially those who labor in
the word and doctrine. For the
Scripture says, ‘You shall not
muzzle an ox while it treads out
the grain’ and, ‘The laborer is
worthy of his wages.’”
Not the words, “Double honor.”
In context as defined by the
concordance, the word “honor”
is defined as “wages.” In fact,
if you search various Bible
translations you will fi nd some
use the word “wages”, while
others, such as the New Living
Translations use the wording,
“paid well.” The other word to
look at is the word “especially.”
Those who labor in the word or
doctrine are “especially” worthy
of double the wages. This is the
Lord speaking, not myself.
This teaching is totally contrary
to the Old Testament curse of the
Law which was sickness, poverty
and death. Christ redeemed us
from the curse when He died
on the cross! Therefore, those
working in ministry need to do a
180-turn on their thinking in this
regard! Think about it. If poverty
was a “curse”, should we being
striving to live on the end of this
spectrum? Does living in poverty
honor the Lord? Does living in
poverty cause people to want to
come closer to God? Of course
not. And what about heaven?
The Lord’s Prayer tells us to
pray “on earth as it is in heaven.”
Well, what’s heaven like? It’s
made of gold, gems and has a
sea of crystal. So if heaven is a
city of gold and that’s where God
lives, how should we be living?
Food for thought.
One more thought on pastors
and compensation. Hebrews
11:6 says that,
‘…the Lord rewards those who
diligently seek him.”
Diligent is defined as “painstaking
effort.” Therefore you could read
this scripture as, “…the Lord
rewards those who put forth
painstaking effort to seek him.”
Can you think of anyone who
puts forth more effort to seek
the Lord than pastors do? So let
them have their “reward.” This is
the Word of the Lord.
Do I think more people would

enter the ministry if the pay
was better? Yes. My advice
for ministers is this: “Build
your ministries as large as you
can.” Pastors and preachers
should be allowed to build their
ministries as large as possible
and get as much of God’s Word
into people’s hearts as possible.
I wouldn’t worry for one second
about what people might think as
long as ministers/preachers are
tithing and beyond, and doing
what they can to help the poor
get up on their feet, and that
they always remember to love
the Lord, fi rst, so the Lord knows
their heart belongs to the Lord.
One fi nal thought on this. I
Timothy 6:17 says this:
“Command those who are rich
in this present age not to be
haughty, nor to trust in their
riches but in the living God, who
gives us richly all things to enjoy.”
So much of what we have talked
about here can be summed
up in this one fi nal scripture.
Never trust in your riches, as
riches disappear, and riches in
NO-WAY guarantee happiness.
(I should underline and bold print
that.) Trust God. Love Him with
all your heart and soul, and then
feel free to “enjoy” all the things
He richly blesses us with.
“Enjoy” your stuff, but LOVE
God.
You disclose that you have
felt and seen the presence
of God in your life. Can
you describe the emotions
that accompanied those
experiences? Have there
been other opportunities that
you have had to feel God’s
presence that you did not
mention in the book? Why do
you think that God chose to
reveal himself to you in those
ways? What would you say to
others who may be envious of
this type of contact that you
have had with our heavenly
Father? Do you feel it is
possible for all to have these
same experiences?
To be clear, I have never seen
God. I have however, felt His
presence. And on a couple of
these occasions the presence
was so signifi cant it actually
felt like I was being “looked at.”
I know that sounds crazy to
some, but it’s the truth. As for
the emotions that accompanied
these experiences, that’s easy.
When you feel the presence of
the Lord it is awe inspiring, and
faith strengthening. But the Lord
has communicated with me in
a number of ways beyond the
few experiences of feeling His
presence. He paints pictures
into my imagination (which I
believe He does for everyone
but not everyone understands
what is happening), He presses
thoughts into my mind that I
absolutely know I are not my
own, and occasionally I hear
or rather feel, a voice. It’s not
a voice that other people in the
room could hear, but those who
have heard it will know exactly
what I’m talking about. There are
times when a sentence streams
into my thinking, but the words
of the sentence have an almost
physical substance to them.
Every time I follow the words of
these sentences, they always
produce fruit. On the night I
received the call to write Prayer
at Full Throttle, I heard or “felt”
the following sentence: “You are
going to write a book on prayer.”
Call my crazy, but then again
look at the rocket ride the book
is on and the fruit it is producing!
There is no way I could have
done this on my own.
I believe I know why God has
chosen me to do this, and why
He has chosen others as well.
It’s as simple as this. Some of
us are completely sold-out to the
Lord, and He knows it. I have no
doubt some people are envious
of the book’s success and the
attention it is bringing. But look
at my life and you will begin to
understand why some of us have
been asked to do the things we
have.
When I was in college and the
Lord told me to get my black
belt, and I did it. But people only
see the black belt. What they
don’t see are all the people who
told me I was too small and frail
to accomplish the journey. They
don’t see the countless hours of
training I invested. They weren’t
there when my alarm would go
off at 4:20am so I could squeeze
in two workouts a day getting
ready for the next tournament.
They don’t see the exhaustion,
the split lips, the cracked ribs
and broken bones I suffered
along the way. And why did I do
it? Because the Lord asked me
to.
And then there was my fl ying
career. The Lord told me to
become a professional pilot, and
to do it on my own. It took years
of studying when I could have
skipped the studying and stayed
in the career I had. I could have
been driving nicer cars, playing
more golf with my friends and
going out on Friday nights. But
no, I stayed home studying, and

paying tens-of-thousands of
dollars along the way. Why did I
do it? Because the Lord asked
me to.
To truly become the light on the
hill, the Lord asked me get into
the auto racing environment. It
takes countless hours during the
week, consumes my weekends
in the summer and to suffer
through extreme heat conditions.
And again, costs me thousands
and thousands of dollars. Why
did I do it? Because the Lord
asked me to.
And then there is the new
book, Prayer at Full Throttle.
It took twenty-fi ve months of
sitting and writing when I could
have been out doing other
things. I am now once again
spending thousands of dollars
on publishing, promotions and
also on promotional travel.
People don’t realize that when I
travel for a television interview,
the television networks pay
only a small portion of the travel
expenses, or nothing at all.
Again, I’m spending thousands
of dollars on a calling that the
Lord has placed on my life.
Most people could never get
themselves to part with their
money to the degree I have
always had to. But I do it, because
without letting go of the money I
couldn’t accomplish what He is
asking of me. Not many people
are willing to make this type of
sacrifi ce.
In additional to these multiple
and massive commitments, I
give tithes, and even money
beyond the tithe, each and every
week. And all of this is in addition
to way I execute my days, which
all begin like this. I begin each
day by saying “Good morning,
God!” I follow that by reading
my Bible, and then I pray, every
single morning. When driving in
my car
I listen to faith
fi lled CDs and
Christian radio (I
refer to my car
as a rolling
Christian
university).
When I’m around
others I am
never ashamed
to mention the
name of the
Lord, and I only
let words of faith
come out of my
mouth.
This is what it
looks like to be
totally sold-out
to the Lord. I am
not alone in this,
and that is why
the Lord asks certain people to
do certain things.
There may be some readers
who feel that it is hard to
swallow the notion that God
would encourage an individual
to pursue such high stakes
challenges in life as race
car driving and jet piloting.
Adrenaline infused aspects
of society and God have not
necessarily been tied together
in society. Can you comment
on this?
First of all, we have to remember
what the world looked like during
the years Jesus walked the earth.
They didn’t have electricity,
televisions, DVD players,
automobiles, motorcycles
or spaceships. There are
environments that exist today
that didn’t exist back then, and
the Lord needs people to be a
“light” in all of them. I am simply
going where He tells me to go,
and doing what He is asking me
to do.
You describe your experience
during prayer at the moment
that your friend Rylee was
involved in a horrible car
crash. Can you tell your
readers about the scriptures
that you used to help you
come to terms with what you
felt during that situation? Do
you feel that God was warning
you of the circumstances that
were taking place so that you
could be called to prayer?
The moment I received the call
about Rylee’s crash it shocked
me so bad I almost drove into
the ditch. In that same moment,
a thousand memories went
through my mind, every one of
them associated with the power
of trusting every single Word

of God. AS for the scriptures
I thought about during this
time, take big-time note of the
following… Most Christians
have never read the New
Testament (sad but true), so in
reality, they don’t know what
Christianity really is. Others
have read the New Testament,
but don’t believe it all. It doesn’t
meet with their “intellectual”
way of thinking. So they form
a God out of the parts they do
believe, but that’s an imaginary
God who doesn’t exist. Praying
to an “imaginary” God produces
nothing. As for me, I believe
every word of the Bible. I have
taken the full-council of God and
placed it into my heart, into my
thinking, and into my actions. I’m
all in. I believe God knows this,
and gives myself, or anyone, a
trusted relationship with God.
Can you think of anything more
powerful? It was this full-council
commitment that came to my
mind, and the awesome power
that it had just manifested.
Regarding a warning, yes, I feel
I was called to prayer because
of what was about to happen. I
don’t know how all this works on
the spiritual side of things, but
the prayer that came through
my lips was no accident. It was
deliberate, and possibly in-part to
cement my confi dence in prayer
to place where God could then
use me as the tool He needed to
get His book written.
You have such amazing
confidence in your
relationship with God. In your
adult, Christian life, has there
ever been a time that you have
struggled with that?
People look at my life today
and think everything has always
gone easily for me. My close
friends however, know the real
story. I’ve taken as many hits,
if not more, than most people
ever will. A bestselling Christian
author friend of mine has
determined that I have a “target
on my back” because the devil
hates people like me. That being
said and without getting into
specifi cs, there have been two
moments in my life where I felt
my faith was being damaged. To
be clear, I didn’t lose my faith,
but it was taking a hit. But during
both of those events, thank God,
I’ve been able to realize I was
under the attack of the devil, and
the devil cannot defeat the spirit
inside of me. The Bible tells us in
1 John 4:4, “You are of God, little
children, and have overcome
them, because greater is He
who is in you than he who is in
the world.”
In your life choices and
experiences, can you
summarize the message that I
think that God has called you
to relay to others? You have
accomplished so much in so
many areas. What aspects
of these accomplishments
are you most proud? What
aspects do you feel bring the
most glory to God?
I have no doubt, ZERO, that God
has called me…used me for His
purpose, to prove to His children
that all things are possible. I’m
not talking about “touch your
tongue to your elbow” possible.
I’m talking about a person
achieving their calling, possible.
What I am most pleased with
is the success of Prayer at Full
Throttle. The reason is simple.
The book is reaching so many
people and sowing so much of
God’s Word into the hearts of
His children. There is nothing
more important than this! And
nothing I have done to date has
accomplished so much for God’s
glory!
When asked how others
can work towards feeling as
connected with their Creator as
Pastor Bakke does, he answered
that there are 2 simple steps that
helped him. Get an easy reading
copy of the New Testament, and
believe every word of it. It is as
simple as that. From the man
who encouraged me to “take a
deep breath and jump” into life,
I asked several fi nal questions in
a James Lipton-like fashion.
What is your favorite word?
“Can.”
What turns you on spiritually?
The fact that I will be able to
meet my grandfather one day.
What turns you off spiritually?
Christian hypocrisy.
What is your favorite Bible
verse?
Matthew 25:21. “Well done,
good and faithful servant!”
We know that God exists, so
what would you like to hear
Him tell you when you have
the chance to meet.
Well done, my good and faithful
servant!
Pastor Bakke is available for
speaking engagements. If you
are interested, please contact
him through his website at
Robertbakke.com. His book
Prayer at Full Throttle can be
purchased through amazon.
com.

In Hot Pursuit...
Of Your Spouse
By Peggy Harvey
As a little girl I dreamt the
fairy tale romances of my knight
in shining armor coming to
rescue me and prince charming
begging my hand in marriage.
And I’m pretty certain that many
other girls shared these dreams,
because in every female heart is
a longing to be swept off our feet
and pursued relentlessly. Yet
the longing to be pursued isn’t a
fairy tale nor that of just a little
girl. Child or adult, the female
heart longs to be pursued. It is
a longing, however, that extends
beyond courtship and the
marriage altar.
There is an unfortunate myth
today that says once a man is
married, he no longer has to
pursue his wife. Once the man
has won the heart of his beloved,
it is enough. It is a myth that
stems, I believe, from men’s
failure to embrace their Scriptural,
God-given responsibility as
husbands and their inability to
understand the deep needs of
a woman’s heart. In the heart
of every woman is a need to be
pursued, valued and cherished.

A need to be led to the person
of Christ, through the man God
has placed in her life. But men
struggle with this. Consequently,
men are present physically,
but detached emotionally and
spiritually, and women feel that
their husbands don’t value or
cherish them. Sadly, while
women have the companionship
of their husbands, they are
lonely. Their lonely heart grieves
the absence of their husband’s
emotional attentiveness and
spiritual leadership. So how can
this be fi xed? Thankfully, the
Bible tells men how to do this.
Bearing in mind that “pursue”
is the word in question, it leads
to another signifi cant word:
covenant. God has always
extended relationship with His
creation in the form of covenant
because He is relationally threein-one,
an eternal covenantal
community within Himself. It
is the never-ending joy that
comes from eternally living in
this kind of relationship that was
a primary motive behind why
God created us - in order that
we would share in what He (the
Trinity) has experienced forever.
God is love, and as a true and
selfl ess “lover”, rather than
hoarding the joy that comes from
intimate covenant relationship,
He desires and chooses instead
to share it with us.
Thus, bearing in mind the
covenant relationship, men are
to love their wives sacrifi cially.
Ephesians 5:22-27 tells us
that as Christ is the head of
the church, His bride, so too
the husband is the head of the
marriage relationship, and as
the head he is responsible to
one day present his bride as
holy and blameless before God.
This means that just as Christ
died for us, the husband dies
to himself in order that his bride
might live in the joy for which she
was created to experience. That
is pure love - “pursuit” love. As
the husband responds to God’s
love, so too the wife responds to
the love of the husband, and the
covenantal cycle of love goes
on and on and on in the form of
continual reciprocity.
That is what God intended anyway
when He introduced Adam to his
perfect “suitable helper” (Gen.
2:18, NASB). But the cycle was
broken by sin, and therefore
both sides of the marriage cycle
(husband and wife) can cause
a disruption in the covenantal
love cycle. When the pursuit
is stopped from either end the
cycle of continuous reciprocity
is broken, and the selfi shness
of humankind starts to question
the other in the covenant, which
usually causes each partner
to start focusing on their own
needs that are not being met,
instead of focusing on the needs
of their partner. Consequently,
the cycle of covenantal love now
stopped, eventually husband
and wife retreat into themselves
and “wait for” rather than “chase
after”, the other. The intended
cycle can only be fi xed when
one person in the relationship
unselfi shly approaches the other
in repentance and immediately
demonstrates their spirit of
repentance by focusing on the
needs of the other. But the fi rst
responsibility for this begins
with the husband, because God
said so. However, it doesn’t
end with the husband. Even if
the husband is negligent in his
responsibility, the wife should
pursue her husband just as God
pursued us in giving us the gift
of His Son, though we don’t
deserve Him.
Secondly, men are to lead
spiritually. Ephesians 5:25-
27 says, “Husbands, love your
wives, as Christ loved the church
and gave himself up for her, that
he might sanctify her, having
cleansed her by the washing
of water with the word, so that
he might present the church to
himself in splendor, without spot

or wrinkle or any such thing, that
she might be holy and without
blemish” (ESV). What does this
mean? It means that the number
one person responsible for the
sanctifi cation of the wife is the
husband. It is not the pastor
or some Bible teacher. It is the
husband. It is a responsibility that
calls the husband to evaluate his
God-given role and ask himself
some hard questions: Do I care
about my wife’s prayer life and
her devotional life? Do I know
what her prayer life is like?
When was the last time I took
the initiative to pray with her?
Do I know what she’s studying
in the Bible? Do I know what
her spiritual gifts are and is she
utilizing them?
Furthermore, the responsibility
of sanctifying his wife calls the
husband to above all pursue
Jesus. Before all else, husbands
must focus on their relationship
with Jesus, not their wife’s
relationship with Jesus. This
means the husband must focus
on his prayer life and focus on
his heart. When his relationship
with Jesus is real and genuine,
and not out of obligation or duty,
then the wife will follow suit. So
the husband should himself have
a fervent and devoted prayer life,
and then go pray with his wife.
Likewise, he should spend time
in God’s Word, and then read
Scripture with his wife.
There are many spiritual widows
in the world. Husbands are with
their wives physically, but they’re
alone spiritually. This shouldn’t
be the case. Scripture is very
clear when calling husbands
to love their wives the way
Christ loves the church: to give
themselves up for her, so that
they may sanctify her. Hence,
it is spiritually critical that the
husband engages in his wife’s
walk with Jesus, while he himself
pursues Jesus above all else.
Thirdly, men need to connect
with their wives emotionally.
This means husbands need to
spend quality time, as opposed
to quantity time, with their wives.
In other words, husbands must
have face-to-face time with their
wives. They need to open up
to their wives, encourage their
wives to open up to them, and
then try their best to not “fi x”
them. Face-to-face time is not
about husbands coming to the
rescue of their wives concerning
all of their problems. Rather, it’s
about real, authentic, one-onone
time about life, family, and
anything and everything else
the husband and wife want to
discuss.
Likewise, a great
way for the husband
to connect with his
wife emotionally and
meet the deep needs
of her heart is to fi nd
the way she receives
love and do it. There
is an excellent book
called The Five Love
Languages, which
addresses how everybody gives
and receives love in one of fi ve
ways.
1. Acts of Service
2. Gifts
3. Physical Touch
4. Words of Affirmation
5. Quality Time
For me, I primarily receive love
through quality time and words of
affi rmation. When my husband
sends me a text throughout the
day, writes me a note or gives me
a card, I feel very much loved.
Likewise, when my husband puts
his phone down, turns off the TV,
gives me his undivided attention
and is present with me, it really
ministers to my heart.
So it is important that the
husband learns the way his wife
receives love, and goes and
loves her that way.
Lastly, husbands need to pursue
their wives physically. Men
shouldn’t have to be encouraged
here, right? Wrong! Many
marriages are failing in this area
as husbands and wives resort
to being roommates, instead of
one another’s beloved (Song
of Sol. 5:6, ESV). Returning to
the last point, husbands need
to pursue their wives face-toface
- both emotionally and
physically. Moreover, when
husbands pursue their wives
emotionally and spiritually, that
often sets the stage for intimacy
in the bedroom. But husbands
must not forget that it starts with
Jesus. It is all about Him. Sex is
a gift from God, and when used
in the right context, it can be the
most joyful experience and gift in
marriage.

Davey Hamilton
Live by God, Live Hard, Have Fun!
By Deb Martens
The enthusiastic energy
Davey Hamilton brought
to our meeting a few days
ago was contagious!
Davey was raised in a
family of believers. As
a young boy, Davey
recalls that his family
regularly attended a
Baptist church.
As time went on, Davey
recognized that he
strongly desired to follow
his father’s footsteps. He
wanted to be the second
generation of race -car
drivers. Davey’s heart
-beat was to go into the
motorsports industry.
He looked up to God and
to his parents. He saw
his father in a different
light. He noticed how
successful his father
was in the industry.
People wanted his dad’s
autograph and gathered,
race after race, to cheer
him on to win at the
track. Davey realized
that driving made people
happy and we wanted to
be part of that. Davey
became a student at the
racetrack. He watched
every lap driven with a
detailed eye.

As this dream was realized, the
opportunity to attend church and
prayer services was almost nonexistent.
The racing schedule
just didn’t accommodate those
aspects of their faith journey.
These circumstances were
unfortunate but were the reality
at that time. Yet, their personal
faith remained strong and
vibrant.
As a high school student, Davey
gained more success behind the
wheel. He acknowledges that
God gave him talent, success,
and the ability to perform at a very
high level in the racing world. As
Davey’s new career progressed,
so did the opportunities to attend
church. Services were held
at every racetrack and prayer
took place before every drivers’
meeting. Davey fondly recalled
the openness of the motorsports
industry to spreading the word of
God.
Davey’s career continued to
gain momentum and success.
However, life took a turn of events
in 2001. Davey was competing at
the Texas Motorsport Speedway
where he was involved in a
devastating accident. Davey
suffered massive leg injuries and
was worried about survival. A
picture was taken while he was
carried out on a gurney and he
recalls praying. He knew, at that
moment, that he needed God
more than ever!
Davey’s recovery took years.
During that season, he found
it diffi cult to really connect with
anyone (relationships, teams,
God). He kept praying and often
asked, “Why me? What did
I do wrong? Why do I have to
go through this?” In time, the
answers to his soul- searching
questions surfaced. He knew
deep within his heart that God
would not give him more than
he could handle! Davey slowly
gained back his strength and so
did the desire to return to what
he loved. The Lord gave Davey
a clear answer to his questions.
He was called to share his story
and to spread God’s word!
Davey underwent his 21st
surgery two years to the date
after his accident. He wasn’t
able to walk for almost a year.
He never thought he’d have to
learn how to walk again. When
his health was taken away, he
realized exactly how privileged
he’d been to have his original
abilities. Davey kept praying,
“Please don’t let me end my
career this way (accident)!” He
had felt as though he’d been in
the prime of his career, his team
was amazing, and he thought
he’d be a champion right before
his accident.
Throughout recovery, Davey had
an extensive support network.
He is incredibly grateful for the
rehabilitation staff, family, and
friends who were by his side
through all the pain. He is
thankful for his sponsors, team,
and even competitors who cared
so deeply for him. This network
of support motivated him to get
better. He couldn’t give up. He
knew he must show them how
much he appreciated their help.
Davey eventually faced new
challenges. He came to a
crossroads. Once he was
healthy enough, Davey had a
strong desire to return to racing.
Yet, he couldn’t say anything
about his dream. He laughed as
he shared that he didn’t want his
support system to think he was
delusional!
The transition period leading
to recovery brought freedom.
Davey was able to do much more
for himself and return to some
semblance of daily life. However,
he battled negative “voices” as he
continued to dream of returning
to his passion. He knew he was
“damaged goods.” Why would
any team owner want him after
all the time that had lapsed since
he last raced? It takes millions
of dollars to invest in race- car
drivers to compete and Davey
was doubtful that anyone would
take a risk on him.
Six years went by before he
met the person who believed in
him. Davey immediately joined
the team. He was astounded
by the fans’ responses. There
wasn’t a day that went by without
tears because of the love and
support Davey received. He
couldn’t believe that he brought
happiness and smiles to the fans
just as his father did.
Davey had a goal of driving in
just one more Indy 500 race.
That’s also the message he’d
conveyed to his team, owner,
family, and network of support.
The day of race arrived and so
did the rain. The rain caused the
race to be short. Davey fi nished
in the top ten. For a split second,
Davey was disappointed in his
performance and then reality hit
him. He had fi nished 9th! He
quickly decided to focus on what
he’d just accomplished versus
what he could’ve done!
After the race, Davey had to face

everyone. He recalls confessing
that he lied about his intention.
He could not only drive in one
more race. What he’d just
experienced was too much fun
and he knew he wanted to keep
on racing!
Davey raced part time until 2011.
He experienced too much pain
from injuries from his accident
so racing full time was not an
option. In his fi nal race, Davey
shared that he made a rookie
mistake. He made some passes
on the track too early and took
himself out of the race. He knew
then it was time for him to retire.
I was curious how Davey
connected with Kingdom Racing.
Davey explained it took place after
the fi rst Indy 500 race following
his accident. The team owner of
Vision Racing connected him to
George Del Canto of Kingdom
Racing. Davey described his
encounter with George. “We
were just two guys standing by a
truck in the pit area of the track.”
After a while they recognized
they were both believers and
the two of them connected right
away. Davey described George
as being solid, a visionary with
clear direction and passion for
Kingdom Racing (whose vision
is to, “build relationships and
discipleship through the love
of Jesus Christ and share our
mutual stories of restoration
and regeneration through Him
through those whom God places
before us everywhere along our
Mission to share the Gospel of
Jesus Christ.”)
Davey shared that during his time
of recovery when he couldn’t
physically race, he desired to
learn more about the business.
Therefore, he became adept
in marketing, promotion, and
sourced out better ways to fi nd
sponsors. This knowledge and
understanding was the perfect fi t
as he connected with Kingdom
Racing.
Recently Davey was appointed
to Managing Director of
Kingdom Racing. He is very
excited to see the next levels
of opportunities unfold for
the organization. Currently
they are focused on the IZOD
INDYCAR Series. Kingdom
Racing reaches out to their fans
through sharing their stories and
a variety of outreach events.
The organization is charged with
continuing to spread the word
of God. They look forward to
expanding their connections
within the motorsports world
(possibly other types of racing,
motor-cross, and more)!
When asked if he had a personal
life mission, Davey responded
with enthusiasm! Simply stated,
he desires to do all God wants
him to do. Davey loves teaching
young kids. He thoroughly enjoys
sports. He often questions
himself, “Did I give enough? Did I
help enough?” He wants to keep
God at the center of all he does.
Davey added that his guiding
bible verse is Matthew 19:26, “…
With men this is impossible, but
with God all things are possible.”
After hearing so much of Davey’s
journey in his career, I was
curious about his life outside
of racing. Davey shared that
he lives in the country on a 25-
acre farm a short distance from
Indianapolis. He is a single dad
of two children (Davey Jr. age
17 and Hailey age 14). Their
lives on the farm are vibrant.
They enjoy racetracks on their
property, a one- acre pond that
dons rope swings and jet skis.
Davey Jr. continues the legacy
of race -car driving and is the
third generation in the Hamilton
family to race. Davey describes
his daughter as a true angel. She
enjoys cheerleading, singing,
and horseback riding. Davey
shared that he couldn’t be more
proud of his children!
In addition to life on the farm, the
Hamilton family attends Journey
Church in Brownsberg, Indiana.
Davey stated it’s a small,
intimate church. They are very
appreciative of their community
there. Their pastor connects well
with the family. In fact, Pastor
Mark Wingler was the founder of
Indy Car ministries many years
ago.
Davey Hamilton admits that
he is not very good at striking
balance in his life. He says he
has a lot of coals in the fi re. He
continues to race short track
with his dad and son. He is very
dedicated to his new position
with Kingdom Racing. There just
aren’t enough hours in the day
according to Davey. He says he
loves working and doesn’t view
what he does as a job because
he has so much fun. Davey
declared, “I’m 52 years old and
I’m riding the wave!”
As our time together drew to a
close, Davey had some closing
comments for our readers. “Live
by God, live hard, live fun!” He
also shared, “Don’t give up on
your dreams and keep guided in
the right direction. That’s what
has worked for me. Get up in
the morning, pray, and go!”

The Ever Present...
The Romantic
Adventures of
Marriage
By Chaz Funderburg
T.he man in King Solomon’s the Song of
Songs said his love was beautiful, and worth
pursuing. The woman delighted in being pursued,
and extolled the handsomeness of her suitor.
Romantic pursuit of a loved one is as old as time.
Even Adam pursued Eve: when he saw her, he
was amazed. You could say, he was ‘in love.’ In
the following verse, the writer says, “This is why a
man leaves his father and mother and unites with
his wife, and they become a new family.” (Genesis
2: 24)
In most other references to relationships between
men and women, the Word usually indicates that
a good woman is worth fi nding. It would follow,
therefore, that men are looking for a good woman.
In Proverbs it says, “A wife of noble character
is her husband’s crown…” (Proverbs 12:24)
Proverbs also states that, “Houses and wealth are
inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from
the LORD.” (Proverbs 19:14) Later, in Chapter 31
of Proverbs, it states, “A wife of noble character
who can fi nd? She is worth far more than rubies.”
(Proverbs 31:10) The theme here seems to be that
men are looking for a good wife, and when they
fi nd one, they are blessed, because a good wife is
given to the God-fearing man by the Lord, himself.
Later, in Ecclesiastes, the Lord tells men to “enjoy
life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of
this life … that God has given you
under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 9:9).
Now pursuit, in and of itself, according to
Dictionary.com, is “to strive to gain; seek to attain
or accomplish (an end, object, purpose, etc.)”
(Dictionary.com, 2015) In other words, pursuing
something or someone is to go after them with the
intention of gaining their affections. So, who does

the pursuing in a relationship? Well, according
to the above, men do the primary pursuing in a
relationship. But in the words of the popular idiom,
“he chased her until she caught him.” Men may
pursue the women, but the woman can decide
if she wants to be caught. William Cunningham
doesn’t think it’s entirely true that it is the man’s
job to pursue the woman. In fact, he states that,
“…a man will pursue the woman of his dreams,
however, the woman should also pursue
the man of her dreams. The man and the woman
will respectively pursue in different ways but both
will still pursue.” (Cunningham, 2000).
Both parties are involved in pursuing a relationship,
or the relationship does not stand a chance.
The only difference is the way they pursue the
relationship. Men may do more active pursuing,

ut the women do the subtle, or passive pursuing.
In my opinion, both should be discussing the
merits of the relationship before they decide they
want to pursue marriage. After they have made a
commitment to pursue marriage, then there is room
for more romance. But even then, the romantic
setting is always a springboard for building a
real and lasting relationship. Men should pursue
someone with whom they have determined to have
a good foundation for a long-term relationship,
especially after marriage; someone they can serve,
and someone who also serves him and others. In
order for you to fi nd a good wife (or husband for
the woman), that potential spouse must somehow
catch your attention.
But what are they pursuing? Is it only romantic
notions of a knight in shining armor, or a beautiful
damsel in distress? Or is there more to it than
that? The Dictionary defi nes ‘romance’ as “the
display or expression of love or strong affection.”
(Dictionary.com, 2015) I believe there is more to
it than that. The motivation for pursuit should be
love. However, ‘love’ is a much-overused word that
is bandied about very liberally today, and needs
to be refocused when it comes to relationships.
Romance makes the relationship exciting, but
there needs to be a foundation based on more than
infatuation and attraction. There needs to be an
understanding of the dynamic of the relationship.
Love serves, just as the Father in Heaven serves
us, and Jesus came to this earth “…not come to be
served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom
for many.” (Mark 10:45). Love that only serves
selfi sh desire and demands will die on the vines
before it even starts. Romantic gestures are born
out of a desire to serve, and foster trust and comfort
in the one being romanced. It is a selfl ess gesture
that is for the good of the romanced. Its motivation
is not for the gain of the pursuer, but for the best
interests of the one pursued. Paul expresses this
notion of ‘true love’ in Philippians: “…having the
same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.
Do nothing out of selfi sh ambition or vain conceit.
Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
not looking to your own interests but each of you
to the interests of the others.” (Philippians 2:2-4).
The purpose of the romantic pursuit is to be sure
you both are one in spirit and mind, i.e. have the
same values, and are both serving God in your
relationship.
The problem in most relationships is that we base
them on the idea of fi nding our ‘soul mate,’ and
idea originated by Plato in ancient Greece. Gary
Thomas decides to take this one step further,
and says we need to search for a ‘sole mate,’ i.e.
someone who partakes of biblical love with us. He
says, “The most accurate defi nition of true love
is found in John 15:13 (NASB): ‘Greater love has
no one than this, that one lay down his life for his
friends.’ He goes on to say that biblical love is not
based on feelings but on sacrifi ce. In the Bible,
men are called to “…act like martyrs towards their
wives, laying down their lives on their wives’ behalf.
(Ephesians 5:25).” Such love cannot be based only
on emotion, but rather a commitment we choose
to keep. It is not based on the worthiness of the
one we love, but on the worthiness of the One who
calls us to love: “We love because He fi rst loved
us” (1 John 4:19) (Thomas, 2005)
Why should men pursue women?
As I said, women appreciate being pursued: it
makes them feel valued and special. If they are
truly precious to the men pursing them, wise men
will always make them feel valued, precious, and
special. Being romantic is something that women
appreciate more than men, so as a general
rule, men should ‘romance’ the woman they are
interested in. It will show that they are in earnest
about pursuing her. This should continue after

the man and the woman marry, as well, because
women have an innate desire to be pursued,
which doesn’t stop after the wedding day, but, in
fact, should increase.
I believe that the spouse must be pursued both
before marriage and after the wedding day, as
previously stated. This pursuit is active and
involves many things that you may take for
granted. Helping your beloved with chores around
the house; making her feel safe and secure and
well-taken care of. Does this mean that the man
should always be the primary breadwinner? This
has always been the traditional model, but in some
cases, the woman is the primary breadwinner,
while dad stays home and plays “Mr. Mom.” But
even then, that does not mean that the man should
not pursue his wife romantically. Romance for one
woman is not necessarily the same for another.
But in cases like the one of “Mr. Mom,” even then
things that are considered romantic may be as
simple as make sure the affairs of the house are
taken care of: kids, bills, meals, whatever.
This, of course, does not forgo the traditional ideas
of what is romantic. I have found, that sometimes
being romantic is making time for each other,
especially when there are children involved. It is
a natural tendency for husbands and wives to get
caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life:
jobs, kids, church, activities, etc. at the expense
of spending time with each other. But what the
spouses need is to be constantly feeding their
relationship, and that can only be done by having
the time to communicate: to share thoughts, ideas,
dreams, and kinds words together.
Even though men may traditionally talk less than
women, and then about non-emotional issues, I
think men would be wise to learn the fi ne art of
expressing their feeling and their inner thoughts to
their wives. This, in a very real sense, is pursuing
and romancing you wife. She appreciates
communication above all else, and works at great
lengths to foster this communication. According
to an article in Focus on the Family about dating
your spouse, the main purpose of communicating
with your spouse is “to share your hearts and to
be vulnerable.” This forgoes the worries and the
stresses of everyday life we face, like administrating
our households and solving problems. In order to
keep up with what your spouse is currently going
through, and always fi nd out new things about your
spouse, we must foster closeness and intimacy,
even in the midst of life’s everyday challenges.
(Focus on the Family, 2014)
Then there is just plain old-fashioned ‘romance.’
These are those gestures husband make (and
wives as well to their husbands) to show their brides
just how special they are to them. A thoughtful act,
non-provoked and creatively thought of by the man
alone, are the most appreciated. This primarily
involves learning your spouse, and knowing what
she has expressed as desires or wants. Keeping
track of such things shows her that you are truly
interested in her, and that she is special enough
to you to be shown kind and thoughtful gesture
of love. It could even be something as simple as
saying, “I really like your outfi t today. The colors
are pretty and work well on you.” And then, there
is that old standby: “I love you, baby.” But this
might need to be accompanied in why you love
her, especially after many years. And I fi nd that
my wife has taught me something profound.
She has told me that roses and chocolates on
Valentine’s Day only go so far. She reasons, ‘…
if you haven’t shown me how much you love me
before Valentine’s Day, then February 14th is just
another day.” Of course, my wife loves to tell me
what she want on Valentine’s Day or any other
special occasion. If your wife is willing to be this
generous, the jump on it, gentlemen!
Why aren’t they?
Why don’t men pursue the woman much any
more? The concept of a ‘liberated woman’ has
given women the impression that they either don’t
need or don’t want men to pursue them. They have
just as much right to pursue a man, and take on a
more masculine role in the relationship. I will not
argue that women are as smart if not smarter than
men, especially since they think with both their
logical and intuitive sides of their brain. According
to an article in Rosetta Stone’s Fit Brain Blog,
“Men’s brains tend to perform tasks predominantly
on the left-side, which is the logical/rational side
of the brain. Women, on the other hand, use both
sides of their brains because a woman’s brain has
a larger Corpus Callosum, which means women
can transfer data between the right and left
hemispheres faster than men.” (Niu, 2014)

However, I do think that the female of the species
appreciates being loved, and cherished, and
taken care of. Probably because men created and
joined the corporate world, the job has become the
mistress, and men have neglected their wives for a
long time, thus creating a backlash among women,
which started the now famous “Woman’s Liberation
Movement.” Women can pursue whatever they
want to do in life, but they still have a need to be
cherished by men, and men have neglected this
responsibility to their great detriment.
Pornography is another reason men do not
romance women. It has created a fantasy world
of false intimacy, and women have become
‘sex objects’ rather than real, wonderful people,
and sex has been substituted for real love. I
believe porn has had a very detrimental effect of
relationships between men and women in general,
and especially in the way men see women.
Further, according to an article in Focus on the
Family, “Porn is always available, never too busy,
and always inviting. It doesn’t criticize, doesn’t
require foreplay or patience, isn’t dependent on
“feeling close,” and never has a headache. When
a guy is engaged in this type of sexual outlet, his
sexuality becomes centered on his immediate
needs and demands. The prospect of working
through the messy issues of marital intimacy is
pretty unattractive.” Porn destroys intimacy in
relationships, and gives a false substitute, which
takes men (or women) away from pursuing their
mates, and, instead, leads them to pursue a
fantasy. (Slattery, 2009)
But at the root of the lack of romance and pursuit
of their wives, men have succumbed to the lies in
this world. Selfi shness, in the form of all sorts of
pleasure, has devalued relationships in general.
No longer are many young people (and older
people) interested in long-term relationships. Too
may have fallen for the lie that ‘it is all about me,’
and this applies to both men and women. No
relationship will work or be worth anything more
than a moment’s pleasure if we don’t remember
that love gives and does not take.
Proverbs 18:22 states,
“The one who fi nds a wife fi nds what is enjoyable,
and receives a pleasurable gift from the LORD.”
It fi rst states that a man will look for a wife, and
not vice-versa. It also implies, taken in conjunction
with Proverbs 31, that a man who fi nds a wife of
great character, and with a servant’s heart, fi nds
something ‘more valuable than rubies.”
It also states, that this kind of gift come from God,
who is mentioned here by name, indicated by the
small capitalization of the word Lord. This was
originally written as God’s name, Jehovah. In other
words, God himself, will personally guarantee that
a good wife is a gift from Him. There can be no
greater blessing than to receive a gift from the
Father in Heaven. “Every good and perfect gift is
from above, coming down from the Father of the
heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting
shadows.” The Father in Heaven is always good,
always desires the best for us in abundance, and
encourages romance!
Note: all scripture references are from the New
International Version Bible.
Works Cited
Cunningham, W. R. (2000). The Christian Marriage
Series, Part 2: Finding Your Mate (Vol. 2). Pursuing
the Truth Minisries.
Dictionary.com. (2015). http://dictionary.reference.
com. Oakland, CA, USA: Dictionary.com.
Focus on the Family. (2014). Dating your Spouse:
Unwrapping the Present. Colorado Springs,
Colorado, USA: Focus on the Family Publications.
Niu, A. (2014). Gender & the Brain: Differences
between Women & Men. (R. Stone, Ed.) Arlington,
Virginia, USA: FitBrains.com.
Slattery, J. (2009). The Impact of Pornography on
Marital Sex. Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA:
Focus on The Family.
Thomas, G. (2005). Soul Mates or Sole Mates. (F.
o. Family, Ed.) Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA:
Boundless.org.
Zondervan Press. (1971 - 2015). New International
Version Bible. Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA:
Zondervan Press.

More Than a Bookstore!
Located in Boone, Iowa, we are a community based bookstore
with a family friendly Christian environment.
In addition to DVD’s, Bibles, books, music, t-shirts, cards, and gift
items, we offer:
Brewed beverages
A safe place for kids to play while parents shop!
We are located at 1325 S.E. Marshall Boone, Iowa 50036
Phone: 515-432-5242
Visit our website at www.kingschristianbookstore.com
3

Music Spotlight
Satellites and Sirens:
Coming In Loud and Clear
By Lisa Carter
If there is one group taking the Christian pop and rock music sectors by storm, while blazing trails in
the social media circuit, it’s Satellites and Sirens.
Satellites and Sirens hails from Nashville,
Tennessee, also known as “the music city,” and
already has quite the impressive following. The
group consists of Geoff Hunker - lead vocalist
and founder, David Troyer - guitarist, David Willey
- on bass and sythesizer, and Jonathan Dimmel
(formerly their drummer).
The group’s synth and electronic sounds coupled
with a positive message of hope energize and uplift
the spirit. Satellites and Sirens have a sound all their
own and the music world is paying attention. They
have been riding the radio air waves all across the
nation and were featured on MTV’s “Needle in the
Haystack” spotlight. They were also nominated for
two Dove Awards in 2011. Their albums include
“Satellites and Sirens” (debut) released in March
2010, “Frequency” in 2011, “The Covers” in
August 2012, and “One Noise” released in March
2014, which features their hit single “Jump Start
My Heart.” Just by watching the music video “Feel
Alive” you feel the passion and contagious energy
in the great music the band makes.

Faith Filled Family asked the group’s founder and
lead singer, Geoff Hunker to tell us more about the
band and their musical journey.
First of all, tell us how the band came to be.
How were you discovered?
Well, I moved to Nashville from Oregon about 10
years ago and connected with a producer named
Rusty Varenkamp. Him and I wrote a few songs
together and recorded them and were really happy
with how they came out. He then started pitching
them to some labels to see if they liked them and
ended up getting an offer from Word Records.
When the offer came in I went to Craigslist looking
for band members, Nashville had a ton of amazing
musicians and I met Jonathan, our old drummer
and one of my best friends. He knew all the other
guys in the band and over the years we had a few
guys come in and out but landed the way the band
is currently.
Did you start off as a solo vocalist? What led
you to seek out other members in order to form
a band?
I never really saw myself as a vocalist so that is why
I went searching for a band, I felt more comfortable
that way and loved sharing the whole experience
with guys who felt ownership over what we were
doing rather than just hired people to play parts.
Craigslist just seemed like a great idea at the time
for fi nding members. I’m glad I tried it!
would say that Michael W. Smith was probably my
biggest infl uence growing up. I always sang his
songs at church as special music and just saw him
as a great role model and family man. When I got
to high school my musical taste started changing
and I found a band called Toad the Wet Sprocket,
they were an acoustic driven rock band and my
eyes were open to something new in the style and
storytelling of the lyrics. After high school I found a
band that to this day is still my favorite, Jimmy Eat
World. I feel like this band can really be seen as
infl uential in my music today. Tons of other bands
too like Switchfoot, DC Talk, and PFR and not to
mention any band from the 80’s would make this
list as infl uential too but those main three helped
develop my style.
How did the band get the name Satellites and
Sirens?
Satellites are something that send information
out and sirens are something that get people’s
attention, and that is how we see ourselves as
Christians. We have a message to say and need
to get people’s attention and say it.
What are you hoping this group accomplishes
with its music? Who are you hoping to reach?
We love music and our goal is to continue to make
it. We love that it is connecting with people and we
pray that it points people to God. Not everything
we write is directed just to people who know who
Christ is, but we write songs that hopefully will
bring up questions and bring hope to those who are
hopeless. We hope that through our music people
can worship and fi nd more than just a catchy tune.
We hope to meet as many people as we can.
What kinds of songs spoke to you most
growing up? Which artists inspired you?
I had a few different bands more than songs
that spoke to me growing up at different times. I

Now that seems like kind of a generic answer, but
we hope that people connect with the lyrics no
matter what age, and we hope that people who
don’t normally listen to Christian music can hear
something that will make them decide to listen to
positive music instead of some of the stuff in the
mainstream.
Who are your writers? What is the theme
behind most of your songs?
Everyone in the band writes, not on every song
but we all put our input in and bring songs to the
table. We have also had the pleasure of writing
with great people like Jonathan Steingard from
Hawk Nelson, and Jason Roy from Building 429
and some other very talented writers in Nashville
like David Myers, James Tealy, and Sam Tinnesz.
I don’t think we have a particular theme we stick
to. I think a lot is just about what we are currently
going through, or something we feel God wants
our listeners to be hearing or singing at the time.
We just write what comes natural at the time.
At what age did you come to know the Lord as
your Savior?
I came to know the Lord at a young age, my family
always took me to church and I got baptized at
13 when I feel like I truly understood what I was
doing.
How would you encourage someone else to
make the choice to use their talents to honor
God rather than just in the secular arena?
I would encourage them by saying that God gave
us the gifts that He did and using them to honor
Him is just the natural thing to do. It doesn’t always
have to be at a church or something like that but
search for those opportunities to use them to bring
glory to Him.
How do you prepare to go on stage before a
show?
Connecting with the people coming to the shows
beforehand, we walk the line of people waiting to
get in or just wander around the venue talking to
people. We feel like that time to have a legitimate
time of chatting with someone and getting to know
them can be a powerful life changing moment.
It’s our way of breaking down that barrier of who
people think we are and what it is like to be a band
and showing them that we are just regular guys
like anyone else and God uses that time to help
build up others. We are not special, we are just
blessed to do what we love and we like people to
understand that we are just like them. We struggle
with the same things they do but have a hope that
we want to pass along to others.
What has the journey been like for you as a
group?
It has been a crazy time. We have had big ups
and big downs but have enjoyed every moment
of it.
What’s next for Satellites and Sirens?
We are working on some new music and about
to head to Australia for a tour, and then it will be
festival season before we know it!
Thank you Satellites and Sirens for sharing with
us. We pray God’s blessings upon your ministry as
you endeavor to use your gifts to honor Him.
Offi cial website: satellitesandsirens.com/
https://www.facebook.com/satellitesandsirens
www.youtube.com/user/SatellitesandSirens

When a pet owner dies or becomes disabled, what happens to their pets?
According to the ASPCA, 8 to 12 million dogs and cats enter shelters nationwide every year and 5 to 9
million are euthanized (60% of dogs and 70% of cats). Of the animals surrendered to shelters, 2% to 3% are
relinquished due to the death or disability of their human caregivers.
“Orphaned” pets do not adjust well to the experience in a shelter—they refuse to eat, they are despondent,
and they are often labeled “unadoptable.” Sadly, many healthy, adoptable pets are euthanized simply
because their pet owners did not plan for their continuous care.
Pet owners should identify committed caregivers who can care for their pets, maintain written care
instructions and set up a finance plan or set aside funds to cover the expenses for the continued care of
their pets.
For more information, to volunteer or to donate please visit www@2ndchance4pets.org.
2nd Chance 4 Pets is a 501c3 all-volunteer nonprofit advocacy organization. Our team is working to reduce the number of pets
euthanized due to the death or disability of the pet owner. For more information, please visit 2ndchance4pets.org. Our tax ID
number is 13-4280812.
www.2ndchance4pets.org

The Crush of an
Emotional Affair
By Brenda Stapleton
“Love is a many
J
splendored thing,” I’ve
read this line in Poetry,
seen it in movies, heard
it in lyrics; so I wonder,
is this the line that reminds us of
the glory of love? Could this be
where our fi rst impression of this
emotion enters our lives? Maybe
that is why emotionally, we “feel”
more emphasis, because our
world is so love focused.
Our whole existence is related
to fi nding love, loving others,
receiving and giving love. Our
cultures are created around love
as well- as expressing love; not
just physically, but supporting
each other emotionally. I will
never forget a passage, I once
read about a person referring to
a time when experiencing such
intense pain, the awareness
of that pain was so much more
than the pain itself. It was kind of
like surrendering to sacrifi ce.
Many times when living for God,
you will learn how wonderful selfsacrifi
ce can be as a Christian.
In a marriage, a commitment
to love, will sometimes cause
sacrifi ce. II Kings 22:19
“Because your heart was
responsive and you humbled
yourself before the LORD when
you heard what I have spoken
against this place and its people-
-that they would become a curse
and be laid waste--and because
you tore your robes and wept in
my presence, I also have heard
you, declares the LORD.”
There are times you will not
always be right; although you
want to be, or you feel like you
are, but be humble. You will fi nd
that by putting your spouse fi rst

in your relationship, it will benefi t
the two of you as a whole. This
is called “Loving for God”. And
loving for God, never fails.
Sometimes, we go to the Lord
in prayer, and we become so
frustrated, because the Lord
did not give us an answer to the
question, that we so desperately
needed HIS wisdom on.
Proverbs 3:5
“Trust in the LORD with all your
heart and do not lean on your
own understanding.”
When living with a betrayal of any
kind, physically or emotionally,
we do a lot of soul searching.
We remain open to any and
all words in conversations,
anything we read; we just know
the Lord is going to gift us with
an answer, which we know
we will receive. We look to our
closest friends, and they provide
us with the same answers we
have ran through our minds time
after time. Physical affairs, well
those are easy. You can fi nd an
easy reason to justify why he or
she, did what they did. Maybe
it was something lacking in the
relationship, a need unmet, or
just something better came along
at a time when the relationship
was at a low point. However,
when it is an emotional affair the
“why” is harder to understand.
“I just needed somebody to talk
to,” or “You weren’t there for me
when I needed you to be.” What
kind of answer is that? It isn’t
one you can understand, or one
you can get an answer to from
your friends. Instead, you turn to
the only One, who might be able
to help.
There are so many problems in
today’s society. We get fearful
to take some of our problems to
the Lord. What? That’s absurd!
Why would we not turn to the
Lord about anything? Well,
frankly because as often as
we should go to HIM with our
concerns, especially when it
comes to our emotions, even we
tend to struggle amidst all of our
disappointments. We attempt
to suppress our emotions so
much, we try to handle our hurts
and tears, and when we go to
the Lord, we ask HIM, “Please
handle this, or that” but we never
say, “Lord, please take my heart
in your hands! Lord, please wipe
the tears from my eyes, and take
away the sadness and the hurt,
the pain I feel from ….”
We do not ask for healing from
the feelings we have caused
by our emotions- depressive
disorders, concentration
disorders, behavioral disorders,
anxiety disorders, or other
mental disorders that stem from
our emotions. We hold them in,
and we do not even say, “Lord,
I feel so betrayed by the actions
of my spouse! I feel lonely; I feel
unattractive; I feel inadequate;
I feel untrustworthy; However,
you feel, you must be specifi c
when talking to the Lord, just
as if you were thanking HIM for
something good, share with HIM
the bad.
Dr. James Gross Ph.D. from
Stanford University’s Psychology
Department defi ned emotion
regulation, as the inability to
“infl uence which emotions we
have, when we have them, and
how we experience and express
them—” 19 million Americans
suffer from depression; another
40 million from anxiety;—
researchers no longer feel they
can ignore the topic. They now
argue that most of our major
mental, physical, political, and
cultural problems stem (at least
in part) from our inability to get
a handle on our emotions. In the
midst of our modern high-speed
external world, we seem to have
lost the ability to regulate our
internal one. So not only do we
have the stress of understanding
what is happening in our own
lives, but also an understanding
for what is happening in the lives
of others who interact with us.
The reason I wanted to make
this point, is for the reasons
associated with “forever.” Some

of us live in these “happily ever
after” mentalities. We search
for the love, and how it affects
moving past the need for physical
intimacy, versus what we need
emotionally. I am not trying to
justify the emotional affair by
any means. However, there are
many televisions shows and
movies that will convince you
the characters had an affair,
either physical or emotional.
Justifi cation is a dangerous
word, and watching people on
television, or on other forms of
entertainment where people are
portrayed as having affairs with
others physically, or emotionally
can increase vulnerability in the
minds of a person who is, or was
considering “greener pastures”.
The affairs of a physical
involvement with another person
are easier to justify for both
the spouse having the affair,
and the spouse looking for
acceptance, or for a reason
behind the affair. However,
there are so many opportunities
for invasions through the
internet via computers or cell
phones. First it was the typical
“right place, at the wrong time.”
Maybe it was at work, at the
gym, at a school function, or
just happened to be at the same
event. There always seems
to be some common ground
that introduces an opportunity
for sharing, and this creates a
bond. This bond grows over the
invitation to connect over email
messages, telephone calls
and instant messaging. Once
the connections are made
electronically, the emotional
connection grows as well.
This becomes dangerous to a
marriage, as at this point, the
spouse has created his or her
own separate life outside of the
marriage. Along with this life,
they create intimacy, and a
whole new personality.
Most people who become
involved in emotional affairs
will tell you, they do not know
how it got that far. That can be a
true statement. There are ways
to prevent yourself, and your
marriage from being placed in
this type of situation. First and
foremost, if you are unhappy
in your marriage, don’t take
breaks, lunches or discuss your
problems with a male co-worker,
or male friend. Sometimes
sharing your problems, and
a male or female co-worker
sharing their intimate details,
can lead to some common areas
to share in conversation. The
problem is the details you leave
out, maybe some things you, or
this friend who is also confi ding
with you have contributed to the
wrongs in the relationship, are
not brought up. Therefore, only
the downs in the relationship
are brought up. Only the
downs contributed by the other
parties in the relationship, are
discussed. None of the ups by
either of the spouses are added
to this conversation, and the two
of you build on the bad. This can
create the wrong connection to
build between the two of you.
You, as a partner in your
marriage, are just as
responsible for
safeguarding your
marriage, as your
partner. If you work,
then when you are
going on an out-oftown
trip, going out
for lunch for work,
or just going out
after work, give your
spouse a call. If
you can include
your spouse, why
not? Even if things
aren’t going so

great at home, a change in
pace, or an invite to dine “out
of the ordinary” on the town, is
always something to create an
atmosphere for you both to settle
into, away from the tensions that
have built at home. 1 Corinthians
10:13
“No temptation has seized you
except what is common to man.
And God is faithful; he will not
let you be tempted beyond what
you can bear. But when you are
tempted, he will also provide a
way out so that you can stand up
under it.”
What if you don’t work outside
the home? Well, plan your
day, and surprise your spouse
one day at work with a picnic
lunch, or meet your spouse for
lunch one day at his favorite
restaurant. Sometimes, it’s the
quiet time you need. Have that
hour to eat a sandwich, and just
talk. If nothing else, have lunch,
and pray. What a beautiful way
to take time during the day, than
to share some lunch with the one
you love, and to take time with
that person, to share some time
with the ONE, who joined you
in that love. What a wonderful
way to remember your marriage
during the day, and to give thanks
for it, than by remembering that
love is the equivalent to a man
receiving his crown.
The Bible calls us to serve one
another in a marriage. These are
those people who have built their
marriage, their intimacy, their
love on a higher level. A spiritual
level such as found in talks, such
as by C.S. Lewis, “who once
remarked that the reason why
we look for fulfi llment outside
our own marriage is because we
have not allowed God to show us
the depths of joy and happiness
that He can provide in our
existing relationship. When we
allow ourselves to experience
God’s plan for marriage, we
soon fi nd ourselves in a state
of satisfaction and contentment
that makes us wonder why
anyone would ever consider
such a stray thought.” However,
there are those who do, and
when a spouse pursues other
interests, and when someone
responds to them, an affair
occurs. Whether it is physically
or emotionally, there will be one
spouse who carries the weight of
the pain and shame associated
with what has happened, and
the future of those actions. In
~ Galatians 5:15: “But if ye bite
and devour one another, take
heed that ye be not consumed
one of another.” The Lord
wants you to know, both of you,
will face the burdens brought
on by the actions of the other.
You must consider your spiritual
obligations as a husband, and
as a wife in the relationship. You
are reminded in ~ Galatians 6:2:
“Bear ye one another’s burdens,
and so fulfi l the law of Christ.”
Therefore, you must remember,
your commitment is to the Lord
fi rst, and to each other second.
Your spiritual intimacy is what
serves your greatest need.
In 1 Corinthians 13:5:
“Doth not behave itself unseemly,
seeketh not her own, is not easily
provoked, thinketh no evil.”
We are reminded not to seek
just our own mind, but that we
are in a world where personal
sacrifi ce is necessary. We have
to remember that the welfare of
others has become dominant.
Why has this happened? Culture,
sociological views on humanity,
or just recent expectations on
marriage and the family? So
many things have changed, and
regardless of where you fi nd
yourself struggling in this cultural
shift regarding partnership and
marriage for one’s own personal
happiness and emotional needs,
some things haven’t changed.
The focus of marriage is still
about spirituality. That spirituality
is about the view of the human
marriage. This greater view of
marriage, gives us insight into
what God has planned from
the beginning for marriage and
humanity. A relationship of both
parties that will truly last forever,
based on the marriage of two
human beings, becoming the
marriage of two spirits.

Trent
Waterson
Tackles the bible belt
arsons of 2010 in the
docu-drama “Little
Hope was Arson”
By Matt Poe

In January 2010 in East Texas,
the middle of the Bible Belt,
the unthinkable happened: Ten
churches were burned to the
ground.
The aftermath resulted in the
largest criminal investigation in
the history of East Texas. It also
challenged the Faith and families
in the community.
The documentary Little Hope
Was Arson examines what
happened. Faith Filled Family
had a chance to talk with
producer Trenton Waterson.
“Our
intentions
(were to)
make an
honest
film.”
What pushed you to make this
into a documentary?
Interestingly enough, when Theo
Love (director, producer) and I
set out to research and develop
this story for the silver screen,
a documentary fi lm was not our
original plan. Theo and I set out
to make a feature narrative fi lm
“inspired by true events” of the
church arsons. We traveled to
East Texas on a research trip
in order to sit with the families,
friends, investigators, and
pastors of all those connected to
this story.
At the time of our research trip,
it had only been two years since
the fi res and only one year since
Jason and Daniel’s sentencing.
After sitting—sometimes for
hours at length—with those
connected to the story, we were
overwhelmed at how fresh this
story was on the heart’s and
minds of the folks in East Texas.
Theo and I returned to Los
Angeles realizing that the best
way to turn this story into a fi lm
would be to change up formats
and produce a documentary
so that these stories could be
captured as beautifully and
powerfully as you see them in
the fi lm.
What were some of the
challenges in making this
story into a documentary?
At fi rst, we thought the challenges
would come from earning the
trust of all those we fi lmed.
However, this was not the case.
The challenges of making this
story into a documentary came
from a hesitancy in participation
from half of the pastors of the
churches that were burned and
also most of the news stations
in town who denied our requests
to license their footage of the
burning churches.
The biggest challenge we faced
was gaining permission from the
State of Texas to fi lm the boys
in prison. When presenting our
request, we included letters from
Jason and Daniel’s families,
in addition to letters from the
lead investigators—all of whom
validated our intentions in
wanting to make a genuine,
honest fi lm.
The State of Texas wouldn’t
allow us to fi lm the boys without
any sort of distribution deal in
place. In fact, we had to fi nish the
fi lm without any interviews with
Jason or Daniel, and it wasn’t
until we fi nished a version of the
fi lm that the State of Texas fi nally
allowed us to fi lm the boys.

Personally, what did you go
through during the process of
this project? How did it affect
you?
Looking back on the past 3.5
years of work producing this fi lm,
I am shocked that I was able to
produce my fi rst feature fi lm with
a story that not only hits so close
to home with my own spirituality,
but a story that is so relevant
and so accessible to audience of
all—or no—faiths.
As we toured the fi lm around
various fi lm festivals nationwide,
I was blown away at the
audiences responses during our
Q&A’s. I loved the rich discussion
between folks who had just come
from church to watch our movie,
and folks who admitted they’d
never stepped foot in a church
yet somehow truly appreciated
seeing our movie and connecting
with this story.
The experience in producing
Little Hope Was Arson has
continued to affect me in an
overwhelmingly grateful way.
Grateful to have been able to
connect with this story. Grateful
for all this who supported the
prep, production, and fi nishing of
the fi lm. Grateful to several new
friends I made in East Texas who
appear in the fi lm. And, eternally
grateful that this fi lm has found
a distribution home so that folks
can access the story for years to
come.
How did you see God at work
as it came together?
Quite honestly, I felt God’s
strong presence and hand at
every turn of this fi lm. Even
during several key moments of
rejection (whether it was from
investors who did not want to
fund the project or sales agents/
distributors hanging up the phone
or not returning emails), there
still was an urgent sense, yet a
calm, to push forward, trusting
that the fi lm would fi nd its legs
in the independent market place.
We knew that this story was
powerful, but it was up to
God to guide us through all
the tumultuous steps of the
independent fi lmmaking process
to not only fi nish the fi lm but fi nd
distribution.
When you fi nish a fi lm, there
comes a point as the fi lmmaker
when there’s nothing left you
can do to get your fi lm out
there, but you have to trust
your instincts that the story is
powerful, the audience is there,
and that the right sales agents
and distribution team will grab
you by the shoulders to take you
far past the fi nish line, and God
provided all of that for us.
What has been the reaction
across the nation to the
documentary?
The reaction has been incredible
in big and small ways! We toured
the fi lm around dozens of fi lm
festivals and private screenings
before we sold the fi lm, and this
was an incredible experience
because we were able to have
amazing Q&A sessions with our
audience and hear their reaction
to the fi lm. The conversations
and reactions were wonderful to
experience.
The biggest surprise was when
we opened the fi lm in theaters
in New York, Los Angeles, and
Texas. We were not expecting the
fi lm to be as critically acclaimed
as it was. The New York Times,
LA Times, Washington Post, all
of those publications gave the
fi lm a glowing review. Our Rotten
Tomatoes score is astounding
(compared to other fi lms that
released over the holidays).
What was the feedback from
the folks in East Texas?
This might be my favorite part of
the fi lmmaking process of this
fi lm: our East Texas premiere
screening. The same weekend
we opened the fi lm in theaters
in New York and Los Angeles,
we released the fi lm in theaters
in Tyler, Texas, which is like the
hub of where all the fi res and
investigations happened. In fact,
the theater in which we screened
the fi lm was right across the
street from where Jason and
Daniel were sentenced.
There are very few words (and
several emotions) you could use
to describe our premiere day in
East Texas. After showing the
fi lm to a packed out audience,
we fi lmmakers stood up to share
some words with the audience
and as we gazed across the
auditorium we saw several folks
in our fi lm sitting—all together.
The families of the arsonists,
the investigators who arrested
the arsonists, the pastors who
struggled with forgiveness and
moving forward, and even the
judges who sentenced the
arsonists. All together in one
room.
What was beautiful about this
moment was that there was an
undeniable sense of perspective
and closure to the story,
meanwhile the conversation
(about these events and
the questions these events
raise in the community)—
that conversation was fi nally

eginning.
There will never be a moment
or screening like that moment in
East Texas.
If you had to convince
someone to see the movie in
just a few minutes, what would
you say?
Wow. That’s tough! You’d think
that after nearly four years of
pitches and writing synopsis and
loglines about the fi lm, you’d
think I would be able to quickly
answer this question.
Everyone has a very different
concept of church. Everyone
has a very different connection
to church. Church means vastly
different things to vastly different
people. Yet, we can all come
together in a compassionate
understanding of the tragedy
of a church being intentionally
set on fi re. And, well, when you
begin to uncover the reasoning
behind not just one but 10
churches being intentionally
burned to the ground in the
“belt buckle of the Bible Belt,”
and when you discover that this
wasn’t an attack from outsiders,
but, the actions of someone from
inside the church walls, well,
there’s a greatly complex, tragic,
but beautiful story waiting to
be told. A story where—amidst
great fear and confusion—God
uses the fi re to truly illuminate
a community whether they are
prepared or not.

We’re All Mixed Up!
Children or Spouse: Who Comes First?
By Donald Ford
Who should come fi rst: children or parents? What happens when our
priorities are out of sorts, what should they be, and how do we put things
in proper order.
This question is a bit complicated as different circumstances arise. Always,
any decision should be tempered with prayer, along with any Godly advice
we can seek. The question of who comes fi rst depends on if we are asking
the dad this question or the mom.
The two of us have always tried to put our children fi rst, and our needs
would follow as a couple. For sure, when it comes to food around the
household, we try to be sure the children are provided for, and we put
ourselves second. Of course if you have a cat, or other pet as we do, their
needs seem to come before any of ours. LOL. It’s either that, or stay up all
night listening to their serenade, until they get fed. After all, our pets are
people too; many regard them as their children.
In the matter of our son’s birth, we had a major decision to make. My wife
had been in labor 24 hours. The child was stubbornly not leaving his fi rst
place of residence for the cold cruel world outside. Can we blame him?
My wife was in a great deal of pain, and I fi nally made the decision, on my
own. I told the doctor at one point, “I don’t care how you get the baby out
of her, just please do it.
I was concerned we were going to lose the wife; I hadn’t met the child yet.
Both were in a state of trauma, and the child was struggling to live and
breath as was the mother. So the doctor went in, and using forceps, was
able to pull the child out. After all, he was a hefty 10 pounder, and wasn’t
budging from his safe haven inside of his mom. Today, whenever he gets
tired at night, his side cheeks show a bit of afterglow from the pinching tool
that brought him forth. He is fi ne in every other way.
My decision at that time was a diffi cult one, since we couldn’t medically
have children. This was a miracle birth, in my opinion, so I trusted God
even more for both their lives. And I knew God was in control; I felt he was
leading me in my decision. Every circumstance in our lives varies from one
family to another, but the general rule was to see to the needs of our small
children, ahead of ourselves, in most areas of our family life.

Resuscitating a Flat-Lined
Marriage
By Lisa Stillwell
Sitting at a restaurant, from the
corner of my eye, I noticed a
married couple. Their wedding
bands glistened as they grabbed
their glass to take a swallow of
drink. However, they seemed
to be staring at the fl oor barely
making eye contact with each
other. My heart began to break
for them. What made them get
to this point? Was it years of
running children to and from ball
games never pausing a minute
to slow down just to speak?
Was it years of working overtime
staying late at the office? Was
it lack of communication or a
period of misunderstandings
over the years? How could a
loving couple that once had a
vibrant relationship be standing
in the midst of its wilted frame?
I thought about life and how it
could easily take couples on a
different path. They begin to do
things separately. For example,
eating supper alone, visiting
family alone, separate bed times,
sleeping in another room, and
avoiding lengthy conversations
with one another because they
no longer know what to say.
Before long, they are looking
for the person that was always
right beside them sharing their
dreams, goals, and laughter.
This situation affects so many
people across the world. Over
time their love dies and they are
struggling to resurrect the fi re
that is smoldered.
So, how exactly do we fan the
embers to resurrect a dead
marriage?
For starters, let’s look at a few
Biblical Principles.
First, understand the Biblical
roles in marriage.
This is the most important
principle. Let’s take a look at
Ephesians 5:22-33.
“Wives, submit to your husbands
as to the Lord. For the husband
is the head of the wife as Christ is
the head of the church, his body,
of which he is the Savior. Now
as the church submits to Christ,
so also wives should submit to
their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives,
just as Christ loved the church
and gave Himself up for her to
make her holy, cleansing her
with water through the word,
and to present her to himself as
a radiant church, without stain
or wrinkle or any other blemish,
but holy and blameless. In this
same way, husbands ought to
love their wives as their own
bodies. After all, whoever hated
his own body, but he feeds and
cares for it just as Christ does
the church- for we are members
of his body. For this reason a
man will leave his father and
mother and be united to his
wife, and the two will become
one fl esh.”
This is a profound mystery- but I
am talking about Christ and the
church. However, each one of
you also must love his wife as

he loves himself, and the wife
must respect her husband.
For a wife, submitting to her
husband might be one of the
biggest challenges. As a wife
myself, this was hard for me. It
sometimes felt like I had no say
in anything. However; this is
not true. It just means that we
should respect our husband.
God set him in our home as
the leader and as wives when
we follow under that proper
leadership we are obeying God.
Our marriages will certainly
fl ourish once we learn to live
the way that God intended. And
husbands should love their wife
just as Christ loved the church.
He should also love his wife
like he loves his own body. This
kind of love is undying. It is a gift
to a wife that should never be
taken for granted. The husband
must also live with his wife in an
understanding way. (1 Peter
3:7)
Communicate. Tell one
another how you feel.
However; please do not become
defensive when your spouse is
trying to explain their feelings. I
know this is sometimes easier
said than done because I have
spoken without thinking so many
times as well. However;
the Bible makes it clear
to be quick to listen,
slow to speak, and
slow to become angry.
(James 1:19) When a
person is quick to listen
the one being heard
often feels valued. We
want our spouse to feel
valued because they
are. We want them to
feel loved because they
are “the other half” that
completes us.
Have a date night. Do
something together that you
both enjoy.
Visit places that you went to when
you fi rst started dating. During
these dates make it your aim to
not remember past mistakes.
Focus on these Bible verses to
get you through temptation.
“Finally brothers, whatever is
true, whatever is noble, whatever
is right, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever
is admirable- if anything is
excellent or praiseworthy- think
about such things. Whatever
you have heard or learned or
received or heard from me, or
seen in me- put into practice.
And the God of peace will be
with you.” (Ephesians 4:8-9)
The most comforting thing about
this Bible promise is that if it
you practice, and live out God’s
Holy Word, the God of peace will
be with you. The apostle Paul
wrote the book of Philippians.
God placed certain people in
the Bible so that we can learn
from them. It is wonderful advice
when he tells us to think on the
good things. However; our mind
is sometimes wired to think about
the negative. We must learn to
rewire our mind and think about
the things that are uplifting!
Pray together.
Bring your concerns before the
Lord as a couple. The Bible
says that where two or three are
gathered together in His name
He is there in the midst of them.
(Matthew 18:19) Prayer is one of
the most powerful tools that you
have. However; not only can you
pray as a couple, you can also
pray alone. Sometimes it does
us good to pray in secret. Jesus
Himself had to go to a secluded
place at times to pray. Cover
your marriage in that blanket
of prayer! Prayer is one of the
biggest shields that you have.
Never go to bed angry. The
Bible says do not let the sun go
down on your wrath. (Ephesians
4:26) Going to bed angry never
solves anything. It only drags the
problem into the next day. Make
it your aim to forgive your spouse
quickly for any wrong doing.
You cannot have a productive
marriage when you are holding
a grudge. A grudge is a wedge
between you and your spouse
that must be removed. Instead,
choose to love because love
covers a multitude of sins! (1
Peter 4:8)
I encourage you to practice
these principles. Invite God into
your marriage. I have heard
many times marriage takes
both people. Well, although it
might take the both of you, it
really takes three. Please do
not forget to put God fi rst in your
marriage and the fl ame that was
once smoldered will spark back
up into the biggest fl ame that
you ever dreamed of!

Meddlesome
In-Laws
Interfering
in Your
Marriage?
And They Shall Become One Flesh
Have you ever grabbed the
ears of a stray dog? I hope not.
It would not be the wise thing to
do. Solomon says that people
who meddle in the affairs of
others are like one who grabs a
stray dog by the ears (Proverbs
26:17). Today we are going to
look at how this may apply in the
case of parents and their grown
children.
By Kathy Smith
Proverbs 26:17 NASB
“Like one who grabs a stray dog
by the ears is someone who
rushes into a quarrel not their
own.”
For months a bride and groom
plan and prepare to have the
perfect wedding. The cake, the
fl owers, the caterer, the church,
and the reception hall are just
a few of the minor details that
need to be tended to. The
parents of the bride and the
parents of the groom can usually
be found doing their part. It takes
a team of people to pull off the
perfect wedding. Parents can be
instrumental in not only paying
for the wedding, but also in
helping to insure the bride and
groom’s wishes are adhered to.
From the time their son or
daughter came home from the
hospital, until the day of the
wedding, they were an integral
part of their child’s life and
rightfully so. They cared for them,
provided for them, and even if it
wasn’t wanted, they offered their
advice. This is all a part of being
responsible parents. However,
for some parents, this is a
pattern that is not easily broken.
Once a parent, always a parent
some may say. And while it is
true parents are forever, their
infl uence in a grown child’s life
can become troublesome when
it interferes with the integrity of
the marriage union. That is the
marriage union of their grown
child.
Jesus said:
“Have you not read that He
who created [them] from the
beginning MADE THEM MALE
AND FEMALE, and said, FOR
THIS REASON A MAN SHALL
LEAVE HIS FATHER AND
MOTHER AND BE JOINED
TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO
SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’?
6”So they are no longer two, but
one fl esh. What therefore God

has joined together, let no man
separate.” Matthew 19:4-6
As you can see from the scripture,
the man is to leave his father
and mother. He and she are to
be joined together as one fl esh.
There is no room in that one fl esh
for the father or mother. The two
become one. Not the four or six
of them. There is no room in the
marriage bed for others, and
parents would be wise to keep
their thoughts and opinions to
themselves unless asked. Even
then it is best to tread lightly, for
to meddle in another’s affairs
can be a dangerous thing.
Whatever advice a parent may
offer, it should never undermine
the authority of the head of the
house or his bride for that matter.
A wise parent will reinforce the
marriage vows of their child and
encourage them to rely upon
each other and God. While at
times a parent’s advice may be
helpful, it should never be offered
unless asked for and even
then it should never interfere
in the marital relationship. The
only exception may be in the
case of abuse. That is another
matter, and not one that we are
discussing here.
While we are to be examples
to those who are younger, that
does not necessarily mean
we need to speak. Far more is
taught through one’s life and
action than through mere words
alone. The apostle Paul wrote:
“But as for you, speak the
things which are fi tting for
sound doctrine. Older men
are to be temperate, dignifi ed,
sensible, sound in faith, in love,
in perseverance. Older women
likewise are to be reverent in
their behavior, not malicious
gossips nor enslaved to much
wine, teaching what is good,
so that they may encourage
the young women to love their
husbands, to love their children,
to be sensible, pure, workers at
home, kind, being subject to their
own husbands, so that the word
of God will not be dishonored.”
Titus 2:1-5
So, the wedding is over. The
bride and groom have said
their vows, and they are off
for their honeymoon. Once
the honeymoon is over,
how should parents involve
themselves in their children’s
lives, and eventually in their
grandchildren’s lives? First of
all, with respect! Respect for
the fact that they are now adults
and capable of making their own
choices and decisions. That is
not to say that they will always
make the right choices, but they
have earned the right to make
their own wrong choices as well.
If and when the parent is asked
for advice, be careful of what you
say. Do not go overboard with
your own opinion but offer sound
advice when asked. Once again,
this should never undermine
the relationship of the couple.
It should always reinforce their
relationship and their reliance on
each other and God.
In the case of a grown child that
fi nds the parents meddling in their
personal affairs, it is best to walk
lightly and with love—showing
respect to the parents, honoring
the parents, but not sacrifi cing
the relationship of your spouse
in exchange for an amiable
relationship with parents. It is
here that we must remember
that the scripture says we are to
leave the mother and father, and
embrace the wife, and become
one. So when a parent does
not adhere to that relationship,
it is best to respectfully ask that
they keep their thoughts on your
private affairs to themselves
unless asked. It is also wise to
insist they maintain a healthy
respect for your mate.
Above all else, the spouse is
to be respected and honored
even as you would expect to be
honored and respected yourself.
Healthy boundaries are a must if
grown children and their parents
are to have a God honoring
relationship. It is best to establish
those healthy boundaries early
in the marriage. This can prevent
unwanted emotional strain and
pain later down the road.
Peter also offers some words of
counsel regarding meddling, he
said in 1 Peter 4:15:
“But let none of you suffer as
a murderer, or as a thief, or as
an evildoer, or as a busybody in
other men’s matters.”
This sums up the opinion of
Peter regarding meddling in
another’s affairs. Once the child
has spoken his or her vows, they
are no longer the responsibility
of the parent. That is where
the line should be drawn, and
the advice left unsaid, unless
asked for. Even then, proceed
with caution, and that brings me
back to the very beginning. Who
wants to grab a stray dog by the
ears? Not I and hopefully not
you. Don’t they say, let sleeping
dogs lie? I think that is very wise
advice indeed.
Kathy Smith is an ordained
minister and the author of
“Treasures of the Heart.”

Worship
Changes
Everything
With Darlene Zschech
By Kathy Smith
Worship Changes Everything, according to singer/
songwriter Darlene Zschech, the former worship
leader of Hillsong in Australia. She is perhaps
best known for her song, “Shout to the Lord.”
While she may have stepped down from the
position at Hillsong Church, her ministry days are
not over. She and her husband Mark now pastor
a church in Charmhaven on the central coast of
Australia. As a wife, mother, and grandmother,
she has faced many challenges. These challenges
began early; and in her own words, “I was a very
broken girl when I came to Christ.”
Life has not been easy for Darlene, as she told me
in this interview. Yet, the very proof that worship
changes everything is evidenced by the life she
leads. Most recently, she has faced breast cancer
and won. She is a survivor. This was no easy
task. However, as the poet Alexander Pope said,
“hope springs eternal” and Darlene’s future looks
bright. She is a visible symbol of hope for others
who face similar challenges.
In preparing to do this interview, I learned that the
church she and her husband now pastor is named
Hope Unlimited. I was fascinated. I wondered
how they chose that specific name and sensed
that there might be a story behind it, so I asked
her.
How did you come up with the name Hope
Unlimited?
Well when we took on the church it was called
Church Unlimited, but my husband and I said that
it didn’t really sit well with us, and we were praying
over it. The word “hope” has been signifi cant in
our lives for a long, long time. We have had Hope
Global Ministries where we do work in developing
nations. One day, Mark was praying and he said,”
I just feel like we could honor the church by putting
Hope Unlimited in there because that is what
God has really placed in our hearts.” And then we
really loved the play on the words, Hope UC, Hope
Unlimited Church. Actually we are ambassadors of
hope. People should be able to see hope through
your life. So that is how it happened and we love it.

It seems to ring true with so many people.
Can you tell me a little about how you began
singing and writing songs?
I began singing when I was about three years old.
My mum had me in everything including talent
quest. I became a part of a TV show here in
Australia, from the time I was 10 years old until I
was fi fteen. I sang eight songs every week, so I
learned a lot of songs over those fi ve years. Then I
became a Christian at fi fteen, and my world turned
upside down. I began writing songs and singing
songs of worship. I could not really reconcile
singing songs about anything else but Jesus. I
couldn’t sing the other songs after I got saved, and
it kind of messed me up for a little while. I found
it really hard to get out of that performance mode,
but God just worked on my heart over the years.
He said, you never need to perform for me, I just
want you. So over the years I just learned to come

oldly to his throne, to just sit, and worship, and to
write. Not for any other reason, just to honor God
and to have the Holy Spirit come and disciple my
heart. I got involved in a church in Queensland, in
Australia. And then it was just this love affair with
Jesus and it has been ever since.
With writing I don’t worry too much about it, I just
pour my heart out to God in song. Some things
are for corporate worship and some things are just
him, me, and the piano. Some songs are just not
very good at all. (laughter) I write a lot of very
average songs.
I think that is true for all of us who write, whether
it is songs or writing words, sometimes we
write things that are not as significant as at
other times. Sometimes God just touches
something and it is so anointed. That was going
to be my next question. Where do you get the
inspiration for your songs, is there something
you can point to specifically?
Well I do not think it is just one thing, I think it
is just life. Walking with God through hard times
and good times, to me that is song writing. Like
any sort of artistry, the song is birthed out of an
experience, or a painting from being wowed, or
someone falling in love with a piece of music and
needing to express it. I think worship and songs
are just like that for me.
One time when I was coming out of a very tough
time; and I was at the end of myself. I went to the
piano and sat down, and out fl owed this song of
worship. All of the songs have a story like that.
Not always just tough times, but good times too.
Just looking up at the stars and saying, God you
are amazing! (laughter) The fact that you see
me and care about these things in my heart is just
profound. And then a song will come, and that is
how it goes.
How would you say your life has changed
since you started living for the Lord? How has
that made a difference in your life?
Well Jesus changed my life period. Everything
changed. It isn’t even about singing but that is just
what I do. I count it a great honor to sing praises to
God, to worship him, and to lead others to do the
same. Everything in my life changed, every day,
what I do with my day. Suddenly I am aware of
this word of God that speaks back to you, I mean
it is unbelievable. Being found in community, I felt
loved by the church. When I was saved I was in
this beautiful little church in Queensland. When
it opened its doors to me it opened its arms. I
was embraced in church family. I found my lifelong
friends in God’s house. The people I minister with,
they are not just people I do a gig with. These
are people I do life with. My children have all been
born into the house of God, and they are serving
God. It changed everything.
I understand you have a couple of grandchildren
now as well?
I have three grandchildren and I have three
daughters. My middle daughter just got engaged
to be married in June of this year. My oldest
daughter has three little ones, Ava is fi ve, Roman
is three, and Ruthie is one. And then my youngest
daughter is thirteen, so I have got young and old,
I’ve got babies, and I have Mark and I, which we
are the old people. (laughter)
Well those little ones will keep you young.
They are amazing, I just love it! They can just be
ours; we take them just like they are ours. It is just
fantastic. Then I have my mum, and she is visiting.
And then I have my Nan and she is a 100. I have
had three grandparents who have all lived to over
a hundred. We have longevity and lots of family in
our household.
I also understand that you want to share your
heart with other pastors and leaders, so you
have written some books about praise and
worship.
Yes I have, I have written over the years. I am just
fi nishing off a new book at the moment. I am really
excited about it. It is called, “Worship Changes
Everything.” It is not so much about the singing of
the songs, but it is about declaring God’s goodness
with our lives. Whether through a song or just living
your life poured out as a spiritual act of worship.
Then there is another book on mentoring called,
“The Art of Mentoring.”
How would you say that the average person
or worship leader can achieve this deep level
of intimacy with God, and why do you feel that
that is so important?
You have to remember that as a worship leader,
it is not the kind of music that is like anything

else on earth. It is like no other kind of music. It
is the worship of God. You can’t do that just by
going through the motions and not having a deep
relationship with the Lord. I feel that is not just
sad, but very dangerous; and it will damage your
soul. That is not OK. It is all about Jesus. It is
not about raising Christian celebrities. It is about
King Jesus and his kingdom. So I think that if you
need to start admitting that, and spending time
with God.
You must understand that worship is about his
worth, not about your gift. And you know worship
does change everything. You declare and
announce that God is here. That is your job, and
when people get their eyes off their selves and just
get in that place of awe, of the goodness of God;
then things start to happen. That is what it is all
about, the miraculous things God is working in our
everyday lives.
I understand that you and your husband
have made a commitment to bring relief to
human suffering. I have read about “Hope for
Rwanda”, and I think this project has actually
spread even further than Rwanda.
Yes, we started in Rwanda nearly 10 years ago.
We were there with “Compassion” visiting some of
our “Compassion” Kids. It was during the time of
mourning from the genocide which was a hundred
days of horror. They say that over 1 million people
were systematically killed in that one hundred
day period as one race tried to eliminate another
race. When we hopped on the plane afterwards,
Mark said he heard the Holy Spirit say, “Now that
you have seen it, what are you going to do about
it?” We were like, what can we do? We don’t
know what to do about it. We were on our way
to Nashville because I was singing at the Music
awards. In just the couple of weeks we were there,
God put a strategy into Mark’s heart.
He said just go there and ask the people what
they need, then ask your friends to go there and
do what they are good at, in Rwanda. Go serve
the people and love them back to life. So we have
been doing that. Going into villages, educating,
and doing medical things, There have been
over 2 ½ dozen teachers from around the world,
primarily Australia, going there to do teacher
training. Now in Rwanda, we have been able to
actually write curriculum for their educational
programs. It is quite phenomenal how Rwanda,
from an educational standpoint, is actually leading
in different African countries. So we have been
able to take that model elsewhere and now we
have been in Cambodia for fi ve years. We have
been extending our efforts into India as well.
We are really excited about the doors that are
opening up there, and I feel that it is just as much
a part of our worship as singing songs. God says;
don’t sing me songs if you are not looking after the
widows and orphans. It is very clear. I feel like if
we are only doing one, and not just an overseas
mission, but with a heart that is open to bring relief
to someone. It might be a next door neighbor or
someone at the school or wherever. If you are not
doing something to serve others you are kind of
walking with a limp. As worship leaders we need
to be aware and awake to the needs around us.
It is not just something we act out on Sunday
morning; it is a part of our life. Worship is
about serving the Lord.
Yes, it is about loving him with your life. Romans
12 says take all of your life, all of it, and bring it as
a sacrifi ce to the Lord. This is your spiritual act of
worship.
Let us talk for a few minutes about your
diagnosis of breast cancer and how that
changed your life?
Well that changed everything. That was a year
ago. Just before Christmas. Actually I had been
to four appointments, in over two years because I
was really concerned. I kept getting, no it’s ok it
is fatty tissue, and there is nothing to be worried
about. When they fi nally biopsied it, it came back
inconclusive. I heard the Holy Spirit say, ask
again. So I said, I’m not going anywhere until this
is conclusive. Inconclusive does not work. They
did another biopsy and it came back conclusive,
cancer.
Within a week I had surgery, and got home on
Christmas Eve. I recuperated for a couple of
weeks and then started chemotherapy for six
months. That was the hardest thing I have done
in my whole life, in a long way.
I thank God for a prayerful worldwide community.

At times, I could feel the prayers of people. I can’t
even explain it. Like a tidal wave coming and lifting
me up. I am so grateful to everyone that prayed.
My best friend laid hands on me every single day;
my children, my husband, and our church family,
just unbelievable. I had so much support. I was
made aware of the people in our country who have
to make this journey on their own. So I’m looking
to how I can bring change to the people on the
central coast where I am who are walking through
cancer alone. I think that is just not OK.
So we are trying to do what we can to help to
that end. So I am gaining strength now, I did
radiotherapy as well. It has taken me a while to
get my strength back, but God is good. Every
dark valley he was there. Sometimes it was just
a breath at a time. Sometimes the anxiety would
begin in my toes and by the time it got to my chest
we would have to call an ambulance. Those things
I had never experienced in my life. But God is
good, and my theology was put through a sieve
for sure. I came through it, God is sovereign and
faithful. His promises are true and I stand on them.
I read them over myself and my family every day.
That is where I choose to stand and I am taking
my faith up to the word of God, and not taking the
word of God down to my experience. I am taking
everything I know up to his word.
I am doing great, and I have had three monthly
checks. I am leading worship. I am preaching,
and exercising. It is so good to be alive.
Is there anything that you would like to tell
other women who are currently going through
treatment?
I will tell them that it is doable. It is not enjoyable.
It is doable. One thing that my husband said to
me, really helped. He said, your mind has to be a
steel trap. So whenever my mind would begin to
wander, he would say, steel trap. Steel trap baby,
steel trap. Which means; the thoughts that come
into your mind, especially at night, you have to
fi nd a thought to replace those thoughts. You can
begin to plan your funeral and all of those things,
but that is not going to help you. It is life and death
stuff. You have to set your mind on a course that
is life giving to your body, and not detrimental to
your body.
Out of the abundance of the heart is where we
think, so it is what you are putting in it. My family
banned me from Goggle. They said you are not
going to look at anything there; we are standing
on God’s word. We have great doctors around.
So I would say, it is doable, and make sure your
mind is a steel trap. Don’t allow others people’s
negative experiences become your truth. That is
not what you cling to and it is not what your need.
Be encouraged, I am with you and I am praying for
you. God is good. You have lots of people praying
with you and God will get you through.
I am certain that will help the women reading
this article that are facing the same diagnosis
that you did.
Oh, I hope so.
What about your next album. Do you have
another one coming out soon?
Yes, we do. The Legacy album will be coming out
soon, which is a collection of songs from the past
25 years. Revealing Jesus is the last live worship
album that I did. So I am writing for a new project
and the songs are coming quickly.
I am just fi nishing my book, “Worship Changes
Everything.” It is not about the singing of songs,
as I said. It is about your statement of faith in your
life and how important it is to keep your eyes on
Jesus. So there are lots of great things, but Mark
and I love pastoring the church actually. It is so
much fun and our greatest joy. So we have got
lots to keep us busy. We have three beautiful
daughters, three beautiful grandchildren, and two
wonderful sons in law. There are lots of good
things happening in the Zschech household.
Darlene is right, there are many wonderful things
happening in the Zschech household. Most
importantly, they continue to lift up the name of
Christ and serve him in their everyday lives. They
are living proof that Worship Changes Everything.
If worship can change everything for the Zschech
household, it can change everything for you. Are
you living your life as an ambassador of hope? If
not, why not?
www.kathysblog.org

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Worship
And
Mission
By Darlene Zschech
Reprinted with permission from Worship Leader
Magazine’
I
ve been really praying about this topic: worship
and mission. These two words are like fi re in
my belly; they daily give me my purpose and
reason. They are not entirely separate from each
other; they are almost like a bride and groom—
hard to have a wedding with just one of them. Yet
mission will always be trumped by worship for
worship abides forever. As we continue to create
God’s throne room here among us, building his
glorious throne of praise and going deeper in our
understanding and experience, we will realize
the passion God has for the lost and broken,
that everyone needs to hear, see, and know the
goodness of the gospel.
Revelation
I continually fi nd myself in John 4, seeing and
hearing the scene where “true worship” is
discussed by Jesus and the Samaritan woman.
Seeing once more that when Christ’s Lordship
is established, living waters are our promise, our
inheritance, our radical need, and God’s even
more radical provision.
As we continue to reveal Jesus in every area of
our lives, I see God’s throne being established
among us in our churches, in our communities, in
our families, in our new experiences and in our
traditions. For wherever He is enthroned, there
you’ll fi nd hearts that are open and thirsty for the
one thing none of us can acquire elsewhere, only
from relationship with Jesus: Living Water.
How can truthful and authentic worship be
anything but missional? In genuine worship we
are constantly declaring God’s goodness, always
announcing and declaring that he is with us, always
being fi lled with joy in
his presence, always
announcing freedom,
always dependent on
the Holy Spirit to fi ll us,
change us, lead us,
and turn our sorrows
into joy, our mourning
into dancing.
More Than a Song
To worship with our life
means that it is not just
in the singing of songs
that we fi nd our hearts
emblazoned with
mission, but it is the
result of a worshipful
life where mission
fi nds its expression
in the going, the
sending, and the daily
expression of our faith
in the ordinary. As
Christ followers, all
that we are should be

somehow resulting in bringing the love and light
of Christ to our world. Is this mission? Yes. Is this
worship? Yes.
Limitless Connection
I’ll never forget sitting in the South African dirt with
a beautiful four-year-old boy in an orphanage in
Johannesburg. It seemed nothing could reach
his lonely little heart, no toys or games, not even
the crazy young musicians traveling along with
us could fi nd a way to connect with him. His eyes
were glazed over; I cannot bear to think about what
he had endured at such a young age. So in the
dirt, into his gorgeous, perfectly formed little ears,
I started to sing, “Jesus loves me.” It only took
moments for his stunning tear-filled eyes to look
up, and it was like our hearts connected right there
and then. Building Jesus a throne in the middle of
the dirt. As we drew near, he drew near to us (Jas
4:8). That’s the promise. There is no other name
like the name of Jesus to heal our wounds, calm
our fears, walk with us through suffering, and to
even hold an aching four-year-old heart tenderly
in his hands. This little boy’s heart was opened to
the love of Jesus, and he experienced what it was
like to draw from a well that could never be taken
from him, and certainly never run dry.
I may not have been leading lots of worship through
music over the last 12 months, but the mission of
my life, as a worshiper, has not changed one bit.
As I’ve sat in doctors’ waiting rooms and laid in
bed for many months, that call to take Jesus to
every sacred place burns in me just like leading
people to his glorious courts through praise does.
Living our lives poured out … in response to his
great love for us…
That the world may know!
Love you dearly, Darlene
-----------------------------------------------------------------
World-renowned worship leader, best-selling
author and Hope Unlimited Church Sr. Pastor
Darlene Zschech released In Jesus’ Name: A
Legacy of Worship and Faith this month from
Integrity Music and with Provident Distribution.
The 14-song album is a celebration of Zschech’s
ministry and features such well-known
anthems as “Shout To The Lord,” “Worthy is
the Lamb,” “The Potter’s Hand,” “In Jesus’
Name” and “My Highest Hope,” which was
written during her recent battle with cancer.
The song, and this album, is a declaration that
despite what our circumstances are, we have
hope and victory in Jesus’ name.
Pray to the Risen One
My highest Hope
I trust You with my life
Lord over every fear
Your love is holding me

BIBLICALLY,
Who Is in
Charge?
By Tammie D. Croft
We are entertain-ing that age old question; “Who
wears the pants in your family”? Society has been
asking that question for generations. Everyone
wants to know who should rightfully be the head
of their household. Men and women have many
different views on this debate and there are very few
families who actually agree upon and exercise the
Biblical principles originally created for all homes.
This problem can be blamed on progressive
generations which require both men and women
to be in the workplace. We must also accept the
fact that there is a link between the inability of the
family to operate by God’s principles and a lack
of Biblical knowledge of those principles. There
is often a great debate of this issue even among
Christians as there are so many questions that
don’t appear to have clear answers. The following
information should give insight to such debated
questions as: What does it mean to be the Head of
Household? Who should be the head? If the man
is to be the head and his wife tries to usurp his
role, what takes place among the family? In such
cases, what can the man do? And lastly, what is
the relation between God’s love for the church and
man’s duty to his wife?
What does it mean to be the Head?
When God created Adam He gave him preeminence
and a right to direct and govern. By
creation, man was made superior. God gave Adam
the privilege of naming all of the creatures upon
the earth. Because Adam could not reproduce on
his own, God created his help meet and called her
woman because she came from man. Genesis 1
and 2 give an explicit description of creation and
the Lordship given to man over all of creation. The
head is to be the responsible one. To be the head
is to be the one who serves and protects. They
will be the one who acknowledges God as the
almighty and superior one above them. They will
listen to His voice and follow it, making whatever
sacrifi ces necessary for the good of the family. To
be the head is to be the leader.
“There is a resemblance of Christ’s authority over
the church in that superiority and headship which
God has appointed to the husband” (Matthew
Henry’s Commentary).
This does not mean that a man should at any time

a principle of love to them (Mathew Henry’s
Commentary).
Women are to be submissive to their husbands,
accepting them as the head of their household.
Once we understand God’s meaning of
submission, not only should men gain their proper
place, but women should be glad to honor them
this way.
be abusive, controlling or intimidating to his wife.
His voice of authority should always be spoken in
love for her. Men should never abuse their position
as the head of the household by trying to force
submission from his wife for his own gain. That is
not God’s will or intention.
Who should be the Head?
Ephesians 5: 22-23 says:
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own
husbands, as unto the Lord”. “For the husband is
the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of
the church: and he is the savior of the body”. (KJV)
According to Genesis, the head is to be the
husband. By creation, as it is written, it is God’s
will that the husband have Lordship. Now we see
by Paul’s letter to the Ephesians that the husband
is to be the head of the wife as Christ is the head
of the church.
The duty prescribed to wives is submission to their
husbands in the Lord, which submission includes
the honoring and obeying of them, and that from
When the Wife Usurps the Husband’s Role
As unfortunate as it is, men have failed in their role
as leaders more often than not. Thankfully this is
not every situation; however, it is the most popular
scenario for today’s family. Many fathers become
so overwhelmed with the position of breadwinner
that the position of leader is placed on the back
burner. They fail to operate in the many roles that
are placed upon them as the leader. Also, we
live in a time that we see fewer men attending
church and more women going alone. When
men suffer a lack of spiritual guidance they will
fall away from the teachings of Christ and if they
have never become the Christian father, they
have no understanding of God’s will for them to
begin with.
When these things are true in the family, most
women feel a need to take control and become
the leader. There are some instances when
the woman may enter the marriage completely
aggressive and controlling from the start. Either
way, it is the position of the woman to submit to
her husband.
Due to the fact that these issues are completely
out of God’s original plan, many problems
arise between the couple. Very seldom do men
appreciate the fact that the wife dominates the
relationship. Nor do they appreciate her being
the authority over them. The reason for this
discontented feeling is the fact that it is out of
natural order. Human nature causes us to believe
that we can take care of all things ourselves.
Many women by nature have a tendency to be
outspoken and domineering and are not afraid to
take the stand of the husband.
Just as Eve entertained the serpent when he told
her that she would surely not die, so do women
today entertain the voice of reason that says she

needs to take control. One expression that I have
heard from women more than any is this: “I don’t
need you anyway; I can take care of myself!” This
mindset has been the push behind most women to
take charge.
However, just as Adam should have stood up, took
control and protected Eve, so should men today.
They must stand up, take control and protect their
families, yet this can only be accomplished through
a relationship with Christ as their head.
When a woman feels that she cannot depend
upon her husband to fulfill the role of authority in
her life, she will do what she has to do to control
their situation and protect her family. This lack
of authority by the husband will cause feelings
of resentment as she needs him to advise her,
control situations, handle problems, etc. and it can
make her feel as if the husband doesn’t love her
enough to step up for her. If this scenario becomes
a long term issue she may even feel as if he is less
than a man. These feelings, as well as others, will
cause a disconnection in the relationship which
will in turn cause dysfunction in the family unit. All
of these problems can easily be avoided if life is
lived according to the word of God.
What can a man do?
Christ said in Ephesians 5:23 that… “He is the
saviour of the body”. Christ’s authority is exercised
over the church for the saving of her from evil and
the supplying of her with everything good for her.
In like manner should the husband be employed
for the protection and comfort of his spouse; and
therefore she should the more cheerfully submit
herself unto him (Matthew Henry’s Commentary).
Even though there are more women in the public
eye, in the workforce, in ministry and even in the
military, it will never be God’s intention that she
be in control of her husband. However, in order
for a woman to willfully and cheerfully submit
herself, the husband has to be willing to do his
part according to scripture.
Ephesians 5:25 says:
“Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also
loved the church, and gave himself for it;…” (KJV)
The duty of husbands is to love their wives for
without this they would abuse their superiority
and headship… (Matthew Henry’s Commentary)
Christ loved the church so much that He died for
it, and so should men love their wives enough to
die for them.
The love which God requires from the husband
in behalf of his wife will make amends for the
subjection which he demands from her to her
husband, and the prescribed subjection of the
wife will be an abundant return for that love of the
husband which God has made her due (Matthew
Henry’s Commentary).
In simple words; men if you will love your wives as
much as Christ loves the church, as much as you
love yourselves, your jobs, your sports, and any
other thing in your life, then your wife should not
only be happy to be submissive to you, but she
should love to show you all honor and respect as
the head of your household.
What is the Relation between God’s love for
the Church and Man’s Duty to his Wife?
God’s love for the church is so much so that He
was willing to die for it. His desire for the church
is that it be saved, cleansed and protected from
all evil. His love for the church abounds above
any love known to mankind. God calls Himself the
Groom and the church is His bride. He is always
attentive to the needs of the church and He is quick
to supply her. God leads the church and romances
her. He forgives her and eases her pain. God lifts
the church high in spirit and dances with her when
she sings. His love for the church is never ending
and she rests upon His lap as He engages her
with all that she has to look forward to from Him.
Just as God lives for the church, should a husband
also live for his wife. Just as the rewards for the
church will be great in serving God, so will the
wives’ rewards be great in serving her husband.
God laid the ground work for men and their wives
by the way He takes care of His church. Our
marriages are comparisons to His love for the
church and should never be taken for granted.
Works Cited
The King James Study Bible; King James Version,
Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1988

Four Blood Moons:
Something is About
to Change
Written By
John Hagee
Reviewed By
Michelle Danko
Pages: 257
Published by
Worthy Publishing
Copyright 2013
ISBN:
978-1-61795- 214-2
Price: 14.99 USD
Can God speak to us through
natural occurring events such as
blood moon tetrads? If so, what
is He trying to say?
Four Blood Moons explores the
idea that God is trying to tell
us something through science,
scripture, and history because
they all line up. These “signs”
all point to something major that
is about to happen, but what is
God trying to convey through the
usage of these “signs”?
The book is wonderfully complex
and loaded with information to
support Hagee’s theory. It takes
you through science and history
to support the theory that we
need to pay closer attention to
events occurring not only around
us, but through scientifi c events
because there is a deeper
signifi cance… and we are often
ignoring it.
You cannot refute that God
created the heavens as the Bible
directly says so in Genesis. So
it stands to reason that God may
choose to line up scripture with
what is happening in science.
After all, He created it. You
could say that some things may
be just coincidence and brush it
off, but when everything lines up
in perfect harmony, it is diffi cult
to ignore.
This book discusses why we
should pray for Israel and for
the Jewish people. The “why”
is simple: the Jewish people
are God’s chosen people, and
historically, Israel is God’s center
of the universe. Everything in
the Bible centers around that
geographic area, and there are
numerous scriptures to prove
that we are indeed commanded
to pray for this nation. It then
proceeds to discuss events
occurring in astronomy and their
biblical relevance. This is where
things begin to get wonderfully
interesting…
Luke 21:25, 28 describes how
Jesus said that there will be signs
in the heavens that we should look
to because redemption draws
near. Throughout scripture,
various people were lead by
events occurring in the sky; the
wise men were guided by the
star of Bethlehem, Hezekiah’s
supernatural sign with the
sundial being turned back, and
the events go on. Hagee draws
correlations from blood moon
tetrads (total lunar eclipses) and
signifi cant events in history. Joel
2:31 and Acts 2:20 both discuss
the significance of lunar eclipses
before Christ’s return.
Hagee goes on to explain the
signifi cance of lunar eclipses,
but more significantly, the rare
occurrences of tetrads. A lunar
eclipse tetrad is four eclipses
occurring at a specifi c interval
of time. Generally, this occurs
every four years with two
tetrads occurring in October
(coinciding with the Feast of the
Tabernacles), and two in April
(Passover). While lunar eclipses
are common, total lunar eclipses
are rare. On record, there have
been only three tetrads linked in
Jewish history in the past 500
years. This further supports
Hagee’s theory that something
big is about to happen.
John Hagee uses history,
scripture, and science to
support his theory. Interwoven
throughout the book are
references to ancient calendars,
the significance of the number
seven, major historical events
and their links to both scripture
and science. They all follow a
pattern, and they all prove his
theory that something major will
happen this year because there
are four blood moons (plus the
timing of them in the Jewish
festivals), and that we are in a
Shemittah (Sabbatical) year. Not

only that, but there will also be a
total solar eclipse in the middle
of the tetrads. The major theme
of the book is that God can and
will not be ignored. There is
signifi cance to these eventsthat
they are not random- and
that they are designed to get our
attention.
Readers will fi nd this book
absolutely fascinating both from a
historical and biblical standpoint.
John Hagee goes deeply into
both history and scriptural
prophesy to create a compelling
argument with amazing accuracy
that the reader must admit that it
is indeed a revelation from God.
It is an educational read loaded
with information that is hard to
ignore or refute. Neither is the
signifi cance of the blood moons
in this year in particular. This year
an astrological phenomenon
is about to occur: four blood
moons during Jewish feasts,
one solar eclipse, a Shemittah
year, and follows the Feast of
the Trumpets. Hagee believes
that God will do something major
because it is such a rare event.
This is also the last of the tetrads.
This is a defi nite must-read as
you consume every page that
is brimming with fascinating
information. It will defi nitely
change the way you see things
and the world around you.

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Character
Requiring the Finess of an Ey
By Randy E. Williams
Does your spouse have a
character fl aw that’s hurting your
relationship? Maybe you were
ultra-careful about selecting the
right mate, but now they have
glaring fl aws. Or, maybe you
came to faith after you were
married, and now notice things
that never bothered you before.
As people change, they don’t
always grow at the same pace,
or even in the same direction
as their mate. Left unchecked,
this can lead to unhappiness,
confl icts, even alienation.
What’s a Christian to do? First,
I think we need to make the
distinction between character
fl aw and moral failure. I’m not
talking about repeated adulterous
behavior, desertion, or abusive
behaviors that threaten physical
or emotional destruction.
What are in mind here are
shortcomings like: unwilling to
consider alternative points of
view, or never saying they’re
sorry even if they recognize
they’re wrong. Imperfections
could even come from sinful
behavior such as judging others,
jealousy, or gossip. They are
things that get in the way of your
relationship because they’re
important to you, and nag you
to point that your relationship is
jeopardy.
So, how do you deal with your
spouse in a gentle, Christ-like

Flaws
e Surgeon
way? Whatever it may be, if you
feel it’s damaging the relationship
it is not something that can be
ignored. Scripture teaches us,
“If your brother sins against you,
go and tell him his fault, between
you and him alone…” Matthew
15:18
It also tells us how to do that
clearly,
“How can you say to your
brother, ‘Brother, let me take out
the speck that is in your eye,’
when you yourself do not see the
log that is in your own eye? You
hypocrite, fi rst take the log out of
your own eye, and then you will
see clearly to take out the speck
that is in your brother’s eye.”
Luke 6:42
You may already know how
that can backfi re. Maybe you’ve
already experienced someone
telling you, “Take the log out of
your own eye fi rst.” Or, like me,
you’ve even used this verse to
shut someone down to get them
out of your business.
Granted, the primary teaching
of this verse is about hypocrisy,
but let’s not overlook another
important teaching of this verse.
We are called to by eye surgeons.
Notice Jesus didn’t say not to do
it. Rather, He showed them how
to do it. As believer it is our duty
to correct other’s shortcomings.
Normally we have no idea how
to do that, so we avoid instead.
With something as delicate as
this, we need an unobstructed
view.
I grew up hearing the word
confl ict used to describe the war
in Vietnam. Wars are bloody and
messy. Wars destroy and maim,
therefore should be avoided.
Unfortunately, many of us take
this approach to interpersonal
and marital confl ict—avoid to
protect. In recent years, I’ve had
to completely retrain my thinking
about confl ict.
How we handle confl ict often
determines whether it’s
destruction or redeeming. The
fi rst thing I had to realize is,
that conflict is a normal part of
life—we’re going to have it. The
Bible spends most of its pages
describing one confl ict after
another. Second, you married a
sinner—saved or not—a sinner.
To make things worse, they did
too. Third, we have idealized
what marriage is supposed to
do—make us happy. I once
heard a man on the radio say,
“What if marriage isn’t supposed
to make you happy, what God’s
purpose in marriage is to make
you holy?”
Part of the process is found in
the benefi ts of confl ict. You read
that right; there are big benefi ts
to conflict—when handled
biblically. Consider this, confl ict
provides an opportunity: to seek
the Lord, to search His Word,
and even be a blessing to others.
“Okay,” you say, “if I do accept
this concept, where would I
start?”
Well, glad you asked. Above
all, we want to honor God. That
means we have no ulterior
motives. God has no interest in
exacting revenge for ourselves—
sin begets more sin. And the best

way to honor God is to obey Him;
pursue using biblical principles.
This approach not only honors
God, it also stretches you as you
diligently search His Word, along
with the bonus of getting to learn
more about Him.
Your partner’s fl aw(s) also
provides an opportunity to
serve them. Have you ever had
something fl y into your eye? I’ve
had sawdust in my eye before.
I’ve had bugs, eye lashes,
sand—they’re really irritating.
Sometimes you don’t know
what it is, you can’t see how to
get it out by yourself. It sure is a
blessing when somebody helps
you, even though you might fi ght
them off at fi rst.
Galatians 6:1:
“Brothers, if anyone is caught in
any transgression, you who are
spiritual should restore him in a
spirit of gentleness…”
“Ah, there’s the catch, you who
are spiritual… can’t be me
right?” The purpose in pointing
out someone’s fault, is solely to
bring about reconciliation—fi rst
with God, then with others.
This may seem odd to you. Aren’t
we talking about their fl aw? Think
about the old axiom, “Be careful
with pointing fi ngers, because
when you point your fi nger, there
are three more pointing back at
you.” We approach our spouse
in the same way, we look at
ourselves fi rst.
“What causes quarrels and what
causes fi ghts among you? Is it
not this, that your passions are
at war within you? 2 You desire
and do not have, so you murder.
You covet and cannot obtain, so
you fi ght and quarrel…” James
4:1 ESV
James is talking about idols
of our hearts, we desire… Ask
yourself, “Why does this fl aw(s)
bother me so much?” Is it indeed
a fl aw, or are they not living up
to your expectations? Does is
reveal a deeper, spiritual issue
inside of you? Perhaps a wellintentioned
desire, becomes an
obsession, even a demand.
Psalm 139:23, 24
“Search me, O God, and know
my heart! Try me and know my
thoughts! And see if there be
any grievous way in me…”
Does this fl aw reveal an idol in
your heart? In this verse, the
word translated grievous, can
also mean idolatrous. Think
about the Old Testament context
and how idolatry grieved God.
This is why we begin removing
the log that is in your eye. When
we submit ourselves to God’s
inspection, He will peel back
the layers of your heart, like the
layers of an onion, and get at the
core issues in your own life.
This can obviously take some
time as the focus shifts from your
mate, to you. We have to work on
ourselves and see the issue in a
new light. By doing so, you will
set an example for that person,
and earn credibility so you can
gently remove the speck. Once
that’s done then, we gently seek
to restore the relationship.
Like any surgeon, preparation is
the key. This kind of preparation
involves not only examining
yourself, but also seeking
out solutions for your mates
problems. What you are well
aware of there fault, this may
be the fi rst time they are aware,
so plan your initial approach,
anticipate objections, and what
possible reactions a person
might have.
You might begin with timing. You
will need to select an appropriate
time and place for a discussion.
The timing shouldn’t be when
your spouse is overwhelmed
with a lot of other issues, tired,
hungry, or those kinds of basic
needs. If possible, schedule a
time ahead for this purpose;
doing so means removing any
distractions that could interfere
or compete with.
Plan what you’re going to say.
Write it out, rehearse saying it to
yourself or a trusted friend. Begin
by affi rming the relationship, your
commitment to it, and how much
you love them. Share the results
of your self-examination—what
the Lord revealed to you, and
confess how you’ve contributed
to it. After all, if you’ve let it go
way too long, you’ve contributed
to this fl aw—then explain why it
matters to you so much—how
it’s damaging the relationship.
Prepare for the possible
scenarios of how this person
might respond. They could
respond with anger, sadness,
denial, laughter—sometimes a
sign of nervousness—or maybe
a long list of your fl aws. If you’ve
worked out possible reactions,
and how you’ll respond to them,
you will handle the conversation
more smoothly.
Pray, after you’ve made your
plan—perhaps with a helpful third

party—pray over them. Matthew
18 tells us to go to a person, but
it doesn’t say how quickly, how
often before you involve another
person, these things are sensed
as needed.
Your conversation may have
no immediate response. When
you unload a bombshell on
someone, you must give time for
them to absorb it. They will need
to process it and consider how to
approach changing.
Remember, eye surgery is
delicate, and any type of confl ict
can be an opportunity for growth.
Randy E. Williams, MDIV is a
freelance writer with 25 years
of ordained ministry: as a
chaplain (military and hospital),
pastor, and church consultant.
He is also a Certifi ed Christian
Conciliator by Institute for
Christian Conciliation, a division
of Peacemaker Ministries with
training in Reconciling Marriage
and Families. –
http://www.peacemaker.
net/site/c.aqKFLTOBIpH/
b.3874865/k.342/Help_from_a_
Certifi ed_Christian_Conciliator.
htm#sthash.3drwpYnX.dpuf

Fait
Gi
Faith Filled Family had the
privilege of interviewing
Chris Stone from Faith
Driven
Consumer.
Chris is the founder of Faith
Driven Consumer which
encourages Christians to live out
their faith everyday- including
the marketplace. Faith Driven
Consumer makes their decision
based on their biblical worldview
and sees everything in the context
of good stewardship. Their
desire is to wholly honor God.
Faith Driven Consumers
represent a minority- about 17%-
in America’s tapestry of diversity.
We are an economically powerful
movement with a powerful
voice that needs to be heard.
Faith Driven Consumers spend
three trillion dollars annually.
Faith Driven Consumer strives
to be that voice that is heard
in the marketplace to ensure
that Christians have equal
representation in a world of
diverse views and beliefs.
What petitions do you want
our readers to be aware of that
are currently going on? What
needs their direct attention?
There are no campaigns, per
say, to be aware of at this
moment. What remains to be
seen is whether Christians
will get equal access to equal
protection. So when that wall
is enforced, will the rights of
the faith driven consumer to
exercise and express their
deeply held religious beliefs.
Will those rights be equal to
newly protected classes? We
are going to see this throughout.
Taking it a step further, this is
a very important thing, we are
approaching corporate America.
Corporate America engages
in market segmentation. Until
recently, people had market
campaigns targeting specifi c
groups. Now they have melded
them together in this kind of total
market. We are actively engaged
with corporate America to induce
faith driven consumers into their
total market. We want to achieve
a designated market segment
who is worthy of intentional and
direct communication, and to
have the culture of that group,
woven into their corporate reality
whether it be through their
communication, their internal
culture, or how they merchandise.
If we add faith driven consumers
into that mix, you are going to
see our thoughts, beliefs, and

h Driven Consumer
ing Christians a Voice
in the Marketplace
Part Two of Two
By Michelle C. Danko

society change. Now many
people will say, I’ve heard this in
I believe a Guardian article, “you
already rule the world, now be
quiet”. That was the summary
of the retort. Gallup (Polls) puts
self-identifi cation as Christians
as 77% of Americans. We get
a little different number when
we do our research, but Gallup
is Gallup, so we are content to
use their number. 17-25% of
Americans (roughly), are faith
driven consumers. That means
that ¾ of Americans that claim
to be Christians are not. If you
look at the 77% of the market,
that’s a signifi cant majority!
Not all Christians are including
God in their daily life and we
have seen much of that in the
data, that there is a signifi cant
difference between a faith driven
consumer and a self-identifi ed
Christian who is not classifi ed as
a faith driven consumer. So we
are a minority market segment.
We exist as a number in that
minority classifi cation. We
are small enough to engage
and large enough to matter.
What lead you to do reviews on
businesses? Has it changed
the way Christians shop?
It is the most visited sections
on our website. We are
expanding it, and refi ning the
reviews to make it easier to use.
I do believe it has an impact.
Our expectation is not for people
to change the entirety of their
shopping habits. What we do
have an expectation of is that
when you have a choice between
brand A and brand B, that you will
consider as a stewardship item,
which one is most compatible
with your biblical worldview. We
believe that every choice matters,
and we ask ourselves, “Does
God care about the money
that we spend on ourselves?”
If we, as faith driven consumers,
believe that everything we
have is a gift from God, and
after we have returned part
of it to Him (tithing), the
rest of it we have kept for
ourselves. We are simply
making them aware that they
can exercise the opportunity
for good stewardship. Our
goal, quite frankly, is not to
specifi cally change behavior
it’s to bring people into a
convergence with that decision.
It’s our expectation that the
behavior will change. It’s just
like I can share the gospel
with you, but I can’t convert
you. I can only share it. So
we are in that same vein that
we are sharing information
with you and people will have
to decide what they will do.
In those situations wherein
the consumer is able to have
a choice between two brands,
and all things being equal, the
consumer can determine the
driving factor. If it is not an
extraneous factor, then the
consumer needs to analyze
which would be the good
stewardship opportunity. The
money that I spend on that
good or service, there is a profi t
attached to that. The use of that
profi t is relevant to the world as
a whole. If that profi t is spent in
a way that is opposed to God,
or His will, or His word, then
we are guilt by association.
It’s a stewardship issue,
and we are just bringing
it to people’s attention.
We do believe there has been
a change in shopping behavior,
and we believe that it is growing
rapidly. We are making brands
aware at this point, do you want
to welcome them and respect
them for who they are as you
are doing to other groups, or are
you going to say that’s not our
group, that’s not our community,
or those customers are less
important. Then they have that
ability to make that decision.
You have a lot of information
on your site about different
Christian businesses. How
do you obtain some of your
information? What has been
helpful in conducting research
into these different companies?
There are a lot of third party
sources who have done a lot of
analysis. We have done analysis.
We are, now, formulating a
questionnaire wherein these
companies can speak to our
consumers. Personally, as a
brand, if I were going to have
someone do a review of me,
I would want to participate.
We are giving American
companies the opportunity to
do so. If they choose to do so,
that will get submitted into the
review process. If they don’t,
then we will do our own research
process and put forth the results.
How do you do the research?
Is it through your own
investigative techniques
or some other method?
Some companies make it very
clear on their website which
areas of concern are the most
important to them. It can be very
obvious. We ask the question
of “where do they spend the
most time in” because where we
spend the most of our time can

determine what our treasure is.
We ask questions such as where
does it invest, give, and what kind
of philanthropy are they involved
in. We look at what kind of cultural
issue they take on. There have
been many companies that have
signed on to same sex marriage
legislation. That is a situation
wherein many companies have
come out and very intentionally
said where they stand.
We also believe that the culture
of a company is signifi cantly
defi ned by the leadership. So
we are looking at those factors.
What would you say to
those who use the “But I’m
only one person” excuse?
In a world of digital engagement
that’s a hollow excuse. One
of our teams
members, and
I had that exact
discussion with
them yesterday,
as to whether or
not they should
vote. This
individual felt
that they were
just one person,
my vote doesn’t
count, and it’s
not going to
change anything.
Well, I’ve seen
votes that were
separated by just
several hundred.
Sometimes it’s just
razor-thin margins.
Individuals do
make a difference,
and every choice
matters. As we
have an opportunity
to come together,
we are not just one person.
When individuals come together
with a common voice they
can make all the difference.
How can we make Christians
less fearful and more
empowered to vocalize their
faith? The world has a big
voice. Why is ours so quiet?
I would ask them to consider
whose voice they have. We
as faith driven consumers are
going to have decide whether
we are going to be fearful and
fear man, or are we going to
fear God. Are we going to
stand on our faith and trust
that God is going to protect us.
That doesn’t mean that we aren’t
going to experience trials, but
are we going to expect that God
will protect us or are we going
to run and hide. We have to
decide what we are going to do
and how we are going to stand.
How can Christians
become more involved with
Faith Driven Consumer?
The best way to do so is go to
faithdrivenconsumer.com and
sign up. Go to our Facebook page
and engage in the conversation.
When we engage in a campaign
sign up and tell your friends.
Signifi cant growth for us has
occurred from word of mouth.
Faith Filled Family Magazine
would like to thank Chris Stone
for this very informative and
detailed interview and Julea
Wood from The Stone Agency
for arranging this interview for us.

Experience Annointed Music and Ministry the
Whole Family Can Enjoy!
Whether it's a night of praise and worship
coupled with a message, or a fun day of
activities and ministering for the kids, this
traveling ministry has something special for
the whole family.
The Johnson Family Ministry is a traveling
family ministry across Canada and the
United States. It incorporates two separate
ministries: a music ministry, and KidsFire,
which seeks to light a fire of passion in kids
to serve the Lord.
Some of the KidsFire activities include:
Puppets
Characters
Gospel Illustration
Intense Story Telling
Music and Skits
All designed to tell the story of the bible.
Each childrens service has a flowing theme
centering around topics such as sin,
repentance, salvation, forgiveness,
witnessing, etc. . .all of which are important
messages to teach the next generation!
This family is truly captivating, and will
impact your family with messages of God's
love.
To book your event, please call:
(209) 417-0468 (Ben Johnson)
(780) 812-0557 (Sandie Johnson)
Or visit us online at:
www.johnsonfamilyministries.com
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