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30 Days to a better man<br />

Humans are in fact the most neotenous species on the planet. Neoteny<br />

refers to the retention of immature qualities into adulthood. We’re not talking<br />

about pooping in our pants here; rather, humans retain the ability to<br />

imagine and play, and this gives us an evolutionary advantage in how flexible<br />

and adaptable we are. Humans are uniquely designed to play throughout<br />

our entire lifetimes.<br />

So we are not supposed to suppress the boy within us completely!<br />

While there hasn’t been much research on adults and play (it’s hard to get<br />

grants for studies on the subject), scientists who work in the field believe<br />

that many of the numerous and scientifically proven benefits that children<br />

get from play apply to adults as well. Play boosts our optimism and<br />

immune system, increases our happiness, and gives us a sense of belonging<br />

and community. According to Dr. Stuart Brown, the head of the National<br />

Institute for Play (yes, it’s a real institute), while we think the opposite of<br />

play is work, it’s actually depression.<br />

Play is also essential to having healthy relationships with others. To quote<br />

the NIFP:<br />

“Play refreshes a long-term adult-adult relationship; some of the hallmarks<br />

of its refreshing, oxygenating action are: humor, the enjoyment of novelty,<br />

the capacity to share a lighthearted sense of the world’s ironies, the enjoyment<br />

of mutual storytelling, the capacity to openly divulge imagination and<br />

fantasies … These playful communications and interactions, when nourished,<br />

produce a climate for easy connection and deepening, more rewarding<br />

relationship – true intimacy.<br />

Take play out of the mix, and like the oxygen deprived cyanotic, the relationship<br />

becomes a survival endurance contest. Without play skills, the repertoire<br />

to deal with inevitable stresses is narrowed. Even if loyalty, responsibility,<br />

duty, and steadfastness remain, without playfulness there will be insufficient<br />

vitality left over to keep the relationship buoyant and satisfying.”<br />

154

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