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30 Days to a better man
Humans are in fact the most neotenous species on the planet. Neoteny
refers to the retention of immature qualities into adulthood. We’re not talking
about pooping in our pants here; rather, humans retain the ability to
imagine and play, and this gives us an evolutionary advantage in how flexible
and adaptable we are. Humans are uniquely designed to play throughout
our entire lifetimes.
So we are not supposed to suppress the boy within us completely!
While there hasn’t been much research on adults and play (it’s hard to get
grants for studies on the subject), scientists who work in the field believe
that many of the numerous and scientifically proven benefits that children
get from play apply to adults as well. Play boosts our optimism and
immune system, increases our happiness, and gives us a sense of belonging
and community. According to Dr. Stuart Brown, the head of the National
Institute for Play (yes, it’s a real institute), while we think the opposite of
play is work, it’s actually depression.
Play is also essential to having healthy relationships with others. To quote
the NIFP:
“Play refreshes a long-term adult-adult relationship; some of the hallmarks
of its refreshing, oxygenating action are: humor, the enjoyment of novelty,
the capacity to share a lighthearted sense of the world’s ironies, the enjoyment
of mutual storytelling, the capacity to openly divulge imagination and
fantasies … These playful communications and interactions, when nourished,
produce a climate for easy connection and deepening, more rewarding
relationship – true intimacy.
Take play out of the mix, and like the oxygen deprived cyanotic, the relationship
becomes a survival endurance contest. Without play skills, the repertoire
to deal with inevitable stresses is narrowed. Even if loyalty, responsibility,
duty, and steadfastness remain, without playfulness there will be insufficient
vitality left over to keep the relationship buoyant and satisfying.”
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