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30 Days to a better man
college, and are we not still at times, if we can admit it, “unbearably lonely?”
(Be sure to check out our article on how to make friends when you move
to a new city.)
Yet unlike the men of the 19 th century, the men of today do not seek
even closer friendships to enrich their lives and lend them support. Instead,
under the excuse of being too busy, we often distance ourselves from other
men, trying to be the lone wolf. Or, as Wayne has pointed out, we look to
female relationships to cure all of our hunger for intimacy.
Our Crumbling Connections
We are isolated more than ever before. According to a study conducted by
the American Sociological Review in 2006, over the past two decades, the
number of confidantes Americans feel comfortable discussing important
matters with has shrunk by a third. 25% of the study’s respondents said
they had no one with whom they felt comfortable discussing important
matters, more than double the percentage who felt that way 20 years ago.
And 20% said they had only one person with which to do so. The greatest
drop in confidantes occurred in non-familial relations. Or in other words,
our friends.
What a lamentable state of things. Can we get by without any friends?
Surely. But can friends enrich our lives and make us happier? Most definitely.
There’s something invaluable about knowing that you are not alone
in the world. That no matter what, there’s a guy out there who you absolutely
know has your back. A friend that would come to your side if you
were beset with a crisis.
So what was the difference between the men of the 19 th Century and our
day? Did they need friendships more some how? That’s debatable. Were
they less busy? Men of today would probably like to think so. Busyness is
our favorite excuse for why we can’t make time for the good things in life.
But given that the men of the 19 th century had no electricity, no modern
appliances, no internet, no cars, no packaged meals, no cell phones, and no
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