practical WISDOMstay <strong>in</strong> the hole for three years. My party stopped. This was nogame. I could feel the anger ooz<strong>in</strong>g out <strong>of</strong> me, reverberat<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong>my little cell and ga<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g strength. We looked at each other, myanger and me, and I knew it would destroy me.While <strong>in</strong> the depth <strong>of</strong> this personal hell I came across a fewpages about Buddhism. Strangely, <strong>in</strong> spite <strong>of</strong> my best efforts, Icouldn’t f<strong>in</strong>d any ground on which to cut Buddhism down. WhatI read seemed to be simple common sense.Truth Cuts to the HeartI read that life conta<strong>in</strong>s suffer<strong>in</strong>g. I found this to be an <strong>in</strong>sult<strong>in</strong>glyobvious statement, and yet there it was, <strong>in</strong> black <strong>in</strong>k;I had no way to deny it. This was not metaphysical speculationor theological pro<strong>of</strong>s, here was someth<strong>in</strong>g which cut right to myheart. I could clearly experience this <strong>in</strong> my own life and see it <strong>in</strong>the lives <strong>of</strong> those around me.I read that suffer<strong>in</strong>g has a cause. That cause is not the outsideworld but is with<strong>in</strong>; it is ignorance and cl<strong>in</strong>g<strong>in</strong>g. Not the outsideworld? This had my full attention. I was putt<strong>in</strong>g so much energy<strong>in</strong>to the delusion that withenough effort I could bendthe world to my will — couldit be possible to just changemyself? <strong>The</strong> prospect <strong>of</strong> putt<strong>in</strong>gthis burden down gaveme, for the first time, thecourage to acknowledge howlarge the burden was.I read that the burden could be put down: if the causes <strong>of</strong>suffer<strong>in</strong>g are not, the suffer<strong>in</strong>g is not.F<strong>in</strong>ally I read that there is a path lead<strong>in</strong>g out <strong>of</strong> suffer<strong>in</strong>g. Ineeded to learn more about this path.That summer and fall I immersed myself <strong>in</strong> new and excit<strong>in</strong>gEastern philosophy, ideals <strong>of</strong> compassion, and graded pathsto enlightenment. Amazed by the deep and lucid wisdom I found<strong>in</strong> these teach<strong>in</strong>gs I nurtured a whole-hearted <strong>in</strong>tention to realizetheir virtue. Slowly I began to experience the strength, heal<strong>in</strong>g,and freedom found <strong>in</strong> k<strong>in</strong>dness and love.Gradual changes were noticed by the <strong>in</strong>stitution and theyresponded by allow<strong>in</strong>g me to return to the general populationearly. It was November 2001, and despite the excitement <strong>of</strong> mov<strong>in</strong>gout <strong>of</strong> segregation I was scared. I knew that the true test <strong>of</strong> myresolve to change would come when I returned to my friends. Icame out <strong>of</strong> the box strong <strong>in</strong> <strong>in</strong>tention, but weak <strong>in</strong> appreciation<strong>of</strong> the importance <strong>of</strong> practice. I held on to my new ideas but didnot cont<strong>in</strong>ue to meditate or study. Compared with the solitude <strong>of</strong>the past year, all the new ways to spend time provided a rich andstimulat<strong>in</strong>g life.<strong>The</strong> sponsor <strong>of</strong> our Narcotics Anonymous group, Tyrone, says“You can’t th<strong>in</strong>k your way <strong>in</strong>to right action, but you can act yourway <strong>in</strong>to right th<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g.” <strong>The</strong> opposite is also true. I was act<strong>in</strong>gmy wholesome th<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g and <strong>in</strong>tentions <strong>in</strong>to the back <strong>of</strong> my m<strong>in</strong>d.My way <strong>of</strong> liv<strong>in</strong>g systematically hardened my heart, but I didn’t28 Summer 2007notice the gradual loss <strong>of</strong> my freedom until I got <strong>in</strong>to a fight overbe<strong>in</strong>g called a name. How bitter it was to f<strong>in</strong>d myself bound onceaga<strong>in</strong> <strong>in</strong> anger and rage! <strong>The</strong> anguish <strong>of</strong> this prison cut deeper nowthat I knew a small taste <strong>of</strong> peace.Tak<strong>in</strong>g Refuge <strong>in</strong> the PracticeI turned for refuge to the practice, this time not <strong>in</strong> the isolation<strong>of</strong> the hole but right <strong>in</strong> the midst <strong>of</strong> my crazy world. I faced myhabit <strong>of</strong> try<strong>in</strong>g to ma<strong>in</strong>ta<strong>in</strong> a certa<strong>in</strong> image <strong>in</strong> front <strong>of</strong> my peers; Ifaced the deep fears at the root <strong>of</strong> this habit, and I chose <strong>in</strong>steadto heal. <strong>The</strong> progress was slow and cautious, but there was peace<strong>in</strong> every step.I met a wonderful spiritual friend early <strong>in</strong> 2004. Matthew Tenneyis a liv<strong>in</strong>g Dharma talk and he shared an <strong>in</strong>fectious happ<strong>in</strong>esswith all <strong>of</strong> us here. He didn’t spend a lot <strong>of</strong> time engag<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the<strong>in</strong>tellectual speculation and analysis regard<strong>in</strong>g the practice that Iwrapped myself <strong>in</strong>; rather, he <strong>in</strong>troduced me to Thay’s teach<strong>in</strong>g andto the true miracle <strong>of</strong> m<strong>in</strong>dfulness <strong>in</strong> daily life. I had read aboutthe importance <strong>of</strong> cultivat<strong>in</strong>g this obscure quality <strong>of</strong> m<strong>in</strong>dfulness,and I was try<strong>in</strong>g. But until now the methods appeared vague andoverwhelm<strong>in</strong>g. Thay<strong>of</strong>fered very concreteand simple ways thatallowed practice to becomea reality <strong>of</strong> mylife.We looked at each other, my anger andme, and I knew it would destroy me.One day, not longafter meet<strong>in</strong>g Matthew, Ishared with him a yearn<strong>in</strong>g that had been percolat<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> my heart: Iwould like to be a monk after I was released. He asked “Why wait?Why not live that ideal right here, right now?” <strong>The</strong> aspiration todo just that has been the center <strong>of</strong> my life ever s<strong>in</strong>ce, a center fromwhich peace, stability, and freedom <strong>in</strong>crease every day.Witness<strong>in</strong>g the impact these qualities have on the emotionaltone <strong>of</strong> this environment, and on the hearts <strong>of</strong> people who livehere, gives me the strength to cont<strong>in</strong>ue. It seems a long time agothat someone said <strong>of</strong> me, “Man, you can feel the hate radiate <strong>of</strong>fthat guy.” Today it is a quiet comfort for my heart to know thatI no longer radiate pa<strong>in</strong> and suffer<strong>in</strong>g to others, and that there isfreedom <strong>in</strong> love.Jacob Bowley received the Five M<strong>in</strong>dfulnessTra<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>gs, along with Matthew, long-distance fromBrother Phap Bi on January 12, 2006, “a k<strong>in</strong>dness,”writes Jacob, “ which brought tears to my eyes.”Jacob is <strong>in</strong>carcerated <strong>in</strong> the United States Discipl<strong>in</strong>ary Barracks<strong>in</strong> Fort Leavenworth, Kansas; this essay was written for theM<strong>in</strong>dfulness Bell and submitted by his father, Freeman Bowley.Previous page: Pastel draw<strong>in</strong>g by Jacob Bowley (from a photo <strong>of</strong>the Buddha statue <strong>in</strong> the Dharma hall at Deer Park Monastery)
practical WISDOMHugg<strong>in</strong>g asPracticeBy David HughesDharma teacher Al L<strong>in</strong>go with his grandsons <strong>in</strong> Estes Parkphoto by Janelle CombelicI’ve always viewed myself as a hugger, a toucher. I hug my familymembers, and like to be hugged. I touch a lot — I’ll walk by mywife and touch her shoulder, or reach over and touch my daughter’sarm. My Dad was like this, too. Touch<strong>in</strong>g is good; hugg<strong>in</strong>g is better.In the workplace, I’m conscious <strong>of</strong> this tendency, and I have to payattention to make sure that I curb the impulse to touch lest it beconsidered <strong>in</strong>appropriate. I know that many people don’t want tobe touched, or at least don’t want to be touched except by a carefullychosen small group <strong>of</strong> people close to them. But I’ve alwaysthought <strong>of</strong> myself as a person who likes hugg<strong>in</strong>g and touch<strong>in</strong>g.So it should come as no surprise that I had a very positivereaction when I first encountered my spiritual leader’s teach<strong>in</strong>gson hugg<strong>in</strong>g and hugg<strong>in</strong>g meditation. <strong>Thich</strong> <strong>Nhat</strong> <strong>Hanh</strong> has donefor hugg<strong>in</strong>g what he has done for so many other activities <strong>of</strong> dailylife — transformed the ord<strong>in</strong>ary <strong>in</strong>to the sacred. Thay tells a veryfunny story <strong>of</strong> his first visit to the United States, and be<strong>in</strong>g givena great big hug <strong>of</strong> welcome by a large woman. When he describeshow truly “foreign” this experience was for him, you can actuallyfeel it. In his culture, people don’t hug very much; peoplesimply don’t hug Zen masters; women don’t even touch monks.Thay confesses to hav<strong>in</strong>g been taken aback by this enthusiastichug — but <strong>in</strong> typical <strong>Thich</strong> <strong>Nhat</strong> <strong>Hanh</strong> fashion, he doesn’t simplyleave it at that. Look<strong>in</strong>g deeply at the hugg<strong>in</strong>g experience, herecognized how wonderful and positive this practice was at itscore. He developed M<strong>in</strong>dful Hugg<strong>in</strong>g as a means <strong>of</strong> deepen<strong>in</strong>gone’s dharma practice.Three Simple BreathsThay suggests that before actually hugg<strong>in</strong>g, we take a couple<strong>of</strong> breaths to br<strong>in</strong>g ourselves fully <strong>in</strong>to the present moment, so thatwe can really be there for the person we are about to hug. As wethen embrace, we breathe <strong>in</strong> deeply, and on the first <strong>in</strong>-breath wesay to ourselves: breath<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong>, I am aware that you are alive and <strong>in</strong>my arms; breath<strong>in</strong>g out, I am so happy. On the second <strong>in</strong>-breath,the M<strong>in</strong>dfulness Bell 29
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