Struan 1962 - Adm.monash.edu.au

I am. I wear the livery of the governing elite, so respect me accordingly."I've noticed that there arc hierarchies within this elite group. The touchstoneis the length of the arc of swing of the umbrella, A swing through thefull arc that ignores the fellow in front or behind puts the City Man in thecategory of a three-star general, It then becomes the baton of the fieldmarshal.Young City Men, of course, carry the umbrella with more restraint,like a subaltern with his new swaggerstick. All ranks, of course, have thebloodless accent of their class - an accent from which warmth and robustnesshave been carefully distilled. By contrast, the accents of the chirpyCockneys or the full-blooded vowels of the North are colourful and humane.That the feudal system is still very much alive in England was broughthome to me one day while on a visit to the Inner Temple. It wasn't the oldround Norman church that recalled feudalism. It was the list of barristers'names outside their chambers. They were in alphabetical order, except whereone of the inmates had a title, and then, like Abon Ben Adem, his name ledall the rest.I often wonder what the bowler-hatted would do in a nudist camp.Surely they would ask to be allowed to wear a bowler to distinguish themfrom the rabble.4. The dog is the sacred cow of England.In Australia, dogs are merely animals. They Jive in the garden or theback yard and are not allowed on trains, beaches or in shops.The dog is a privileged "person" in England. There one may have one'sdog manicured, boarded out, sent to a home for the cure of his particularneurosis. His is allowed to travel by train, to sleep in bedrooms, to wanderwhere he wishes. Why does the dog maintain such a hold on the affections ofthe English? My thesis is that a dog is the panacea for England's allpervasivemalady - loneliness. One is not alone with a dog. A man walkingin the street minus a dog is a man advertising his loneliness. Give that mana dog and he needs no friends. He is not alone; he is exercising his dog.The Englishman, the least extroverted of people, finds it hard to talkto. strangers, difficult to open his heart to anyone. But on the dog he canlavish his pent-up affection. A dog to an Englishman is what a good"cobber" is to an Australian.I soon gave up trying to talk to Englishmen in trains. They looked atme queerly and answered my questions in guarded tones. One man did speakto me on one occasion on a bus to Brighton. He told me that his wife hadleft him on~day-·and -he hadn't seen her since. "I've been in hundreds ofjobs," he said, "and never liked one of them. I'm going down to Brighton tokill time, It's better than sitting alone in a bed-sitter. I've no kids and norelatives. Sometimes I get depressed, but you've got to shake it off. I'm notallowed to have a dog. A dog would be great company for me, but there youare."Page Fifty.Eight STRUAN, 1962