Struan 1962 - Adm.monash.edu.au

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I am. I wear the livery of the governing elite, so respect me accordingly."I've noticed that there arc hierarchies within this elite group. The touchstoneis the length of the arc of swing of the umbrella, A swing through thefull arc that ignores the fellow in front or behind puts the City Man in thecategory of a three-star general, It then becomes the baton of the fieldmarshal.Young City Men, of course, carry the umbrella with more restraint,like a subaltern with his new swaggerstick. All ranks, of course, have thebloodless accent of their class - an accent from which warmth and robustnesshave been carefully distilled. By contrast, the accents of the chirpyCockneys or the full-blooded vowels of the North are colourful and humane.That the feudal system is still very much alive in England was broughthome to me one day while on a visit to the Inner Temple. It wasn't the oldround Norman church that recalled feudalism. It was the list of barristers'names outside their chambers. They were in alphabetical order, except whereone of the inmates had a title, and then, like Abon Ben Adem, his name ledall the rest.I often wonder what the bowler-hatted would do in a nudist camp.Surely they would ask to be allowed to wear a bowler to distinguish themfrom the rabble.4. The dog is the sacred cow of England.In Australia, dogs are merely animals. They Jive in the garden or theback yard and are not allowed on trains, beaches or in shops.The dog is a privileged "person" in England. There one may have one'sdog manicured, boarded out, sent to a home for the cure of his particularneurosis. His is allowed to travel by train, to sleep in bedrooms, to wanderwhere he wishes. Why does the dog maintain such a hold on the affections ofthe English? My thesis is that a dog is the panacea for England's allpervasivemalady - loneliness. One is not alone with a dog. A man walkingin the street minus a dog is a man advertising his loneliness. Give that mana dog and he needs no friends. He is not alone; he is exercising his dog.The Englishman, the least extroverted of people, finds it hard to talkto. strangers, difficult to open his heart to anyone. But on the dog he canlavish his pent-up affection. A dog to an Englishman is what a good"cobber" is to an Australian.I soon gave up trying to talk to Englishmen in trains. They looked atme queerly and answered my questions in guarded tones. One man did speakto me on one occasion on a bus to Brighton. He told me that his wife hadleft him on~day-·and -he hadn't seen her since. "I've been in hundreds ofjobs," he said, "and never liked one of them. I'm going down to Brighton tokill time, It's better than sitting alone in a bed-sitter. I've no kids and norelatives. Sometimes I get depressed, but you've got to shake it off. I'm notallowed to have a dog. A dog would be great company for me, but there youare."Page Fifty.Eight STRUAN, <strong>1962</strong>
Yes, there it is, A dog is man's antidote to the loneliness of crowds, adependent creature whose loyalty and affection are beyond question. The cat,an independent, couldn't-care-less animal owing allegiance to nobody, cannotcompete with the dog for first place in an Englishman's heart.5. The English are born gamblers.On my first night in London I saw an enormous crowd emerging from asuburban cinema. Always inquisitive, I said to the bus conductor, "That mustbe a good film . Do you know what it is?""Film my eye; that's Bingo! You don't get crowds like that at thepictures any more."Bingo mystifies me. Its appeal is incomprehensible. How can housewivessit for hours in a cinema listening to the monotonous litany atnumbers? Isn't there a more entertaining or creative way of spending thetime? I saw Bingo being played on a lovely sunny afternoon in Torquaywhen the sea was beckoning compulsively. There they sat in an amusementarcade oblivious of everything except the hypnotic sing-song of the caller.Bingo, I found, doesn't exh<strong>au</strong>st the gambling media. Football pools,betting shops, newspaper competitions offer further scope for gambling.Australians will bet on two flies crawling up a window, but I don't think theycan concede anything to their English counterparts.In 1984 George Orwell tells us that the Proles are fed by the rnnerParty on a diet of gambling, pornographic fiction and sensation. 1984 doesn'tseem so far away.6. English newspapers are the best arid tbe worst in tbe world.Surely nowhere else in the world is there such a range of newspapers asin England. At the top of the tree are "The Times" and the " Guardian";first-rate, responsible, quality papers. At the bottom are the Daily Sensationtype of sheet with its shock headline: "Infant Teacher was Call Girl"; "SexOrgies in Barn". etc. To read this type of paper is to imagine the Englishas a degenerate race "living it up" in low dives and conjugating the irregularverb "to love" in all its moods and tenses. All the lurid details are served upin the Sunday editions of these papers so that for millions of people Sundaymorning religious service consists of vicarious experiences of lusting, fornicationand sexual irregularities.There's a paper for every interest in England. If you have accommodationproblems or housing problems, if you want to find a car or a wife, there'sa paper especially written for you....""""h=bmdon ~ i s~ "gayer'~than&Paris .u•F ;;"" , ~, hibi "d' I I' bli L diP is f d d 1" orunm ibite ave p ay m pu IC on on eaves ans or ca . •' was.. continuaI!Y amazed at so-called rsservcd English women making cooingw noises,.an
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IIThe Magazine of Frankston Teacher
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We look back on our two or three ye
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IIMo st of you may be satisfied atf
Page 10 and 11: Pat is also S.R.C. representativeon
Page 12 and 13: Staff ...Principal:MusicGeorge A. J
Page 14 and 15: Rod SimpsonAmbition:To grow a man
Page 17 and 18: Is this right? What if these machin
Page 19 and 20: Our fears that we would be decapita
Page 21 and 22: Personalities ...COL HOWARD: "I don
Page 23 and 24: work ed hard and generally with pro
Page 25 and 26: Teacher on Tour •..Left:e Snowmen
Page 27 and 28: cattle. Otherwise the land was empt
Page 29 and 30: Teacher on Stage ...II/!II• On st
Page 31 and 32: July ...11182027August •..Septemb
Page 33 and 34: Lil Abner has shown me how the psyc
Page 35 and 36: and leave without arousing a breath
Page 37 and 38: Teacher in Creative Activit y . . .
Page 39 and 40: Th e boy found a party easily,and t
Page 49 and 50: l:961 'NVmI.1SllU!PP3SJOH •llu!Jl
Page 51 and 52: Softball Team ...Winning Team in In
Page 54 and 55: eacher in the Classroom ...Brenda P
Page 56 and 57: My Love Must Wait is a faithful ret
Page 58 and 59: EIIglish Jourlley • • •"Quick
Page 62 and 63: The younger English women have me b
Page 64 and 65: T ABLE TENNISThis year th e table t
Page 66 and 67: HOCKEYThe Hockey team enjoyed many
Page 68 and 69: Wh at are the little magazines? Th
Page 70 and 71: T.C.C.F. REPORTThis year a large nu
Page 72 and 73: SOCIAL COMMITTEE REPORTPeople belie
Page 74 and 75: SOCIAL SERVICEWhat is Social Servic
Page 76 and 77: COLLEGE IMPROVEMENTSCOMMITTEEWELFAR
Page 78 and 79: EXIT GROUPS_... .....,, ,........._
Page 80 and 81: RUMOURS TO BE QUASHED-ABOUT B2Brian
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Page 84 and 85: Ex;t Group E2 •..FRONT ROW: C. Co
Page 86 and 87: Autographs
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