SEVEN PAPERS ON EXISTENTIAL ANALYSIS ... - Wagner College

hopelessness), extreme anxiety, or even such florid symptoms as hallucinations and well-formed
delusions. No matter what the symptom, however, the goal of existential analysis is the opening
of existence, the restoration of its clearing function, and freedom.
The stance of the analyst for the realization of such goals I, as we have seen, to invite
validation by being nothing to the analysand, which means allowing for maximum possibilities
among those available to the analysand (16).
I met with a young man, J., during a period of five years, the first time when he was 18
years old. A college student who did not declare a major until his junior year, he was
hyperkinetic and fearful. He complained of gastrointestinal discomfort and, because he ate so
little, was quite lean. He rarely interacted with other students in his classes. J. Would dash into the
classroom at the last minute and, at the end of the hour, would exit just as quickly to avoid
informal contacts with other students. Chronically in a hurry, he seemed to be on the run, never
fully where his body was, and always leaving somewhere. Going to a class was, for J., leaving
his dormitory room. Going to the next class was really about leaving the class he had been
attending.
J. complained that other people “used” him. Similarly, one could say time used him. He
had no male friends. His relationships with young women were all about looking out for them.
He eventually found each of his girlfriends exploitative. They, too, “used” him. J. Complained
that institutions treated him, his family and friends, unfairly. He claimed that everyone he knew
and was fond of was also the victim of one sort of institutional failing or other (school, church,
government). For example, if J. did not do well in a class, he found the reasons for his poor
performance in the teacher’s pedagogic style.
J. enjoyed music a club life, although he did not drink alcohol or take drugs. Sexual
contacts with women were rare until he reached his early 20s, and even then, he said, he limited
himself to petting by consideration for their well-being. J. would often hound these young
women, follow them about to see that they were safe, all in name of taking care of them.
J. needed a fifth year at college to complete his major (psychology) and then went on
to enroll in a master’s program in clinical psychology, so that he could “help people.”
Throughout college and graduate school, he read very little, occupying himself with music and
writing poetry, most of it in the form of song lyrics that protested the ills people suffer.
In my contacts with J., he wanted me to advise him about how to handle his
relationships with women and how to understand their the “psychological dynamics.” Typically,
a session began with an elaborate narrative of why people “always” act in such a way as to
harm others. A mixture of indignant scorn and naive incredulity barely trumped strong anger
and resentment. He portrayed himself as the one who stepped in to save a friend or a family
member from prejudice or unfair treatment, while continuing to endure such things without
anyone’s help. But how could people be so thoughtless and ungrateful? He would ask. Why
was he regularly taken advantage of by others for his generosity and kindness?
Like many late adolescents, J’s existence had been distorted by the demands society
makes on young men (and young women) to negotiate and complete what has been called
the second individuation period of development, which I would call becoming an adult.
Important anniversaries, such as turning 18 or 21, or events such as high school or college
graduation figure in this transformation. J. resisted this, however, as many late adolescents do,
and are encouraged to do in contemporary American culture. He was unable to see what had
happened, namely, that he was no longer a child, of which adolescence is the terminal phase.
Rather than realizing in action the shift that had occurred, J. was stunned by the theft of his
childhood by his body and society, as well as by his peers and teachers. His mother supported
his continuing as a pseudo-child.
J. did not see that his childhood was over. More important, he did not see the
possibilities that being an adult held open for him. As his therapist, it was my goal to facilitate
the widening of J.’s existence, which had dimmed down so that he could not see he was no