razorcake issue #16

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Nørb: Okay, i give up. What bands are good rightnow?FM Knives: The Libertines and Supergrass.Jason: That’s just British bands.As far as American bands go, Ilike a lot of the Northwest bands.I like the Hunches, the A-Framesare good... who else?Nørb: The Epoxies? The Briefs?The Spits?Jason: The Briefs are all right, Iguess. I kind of like them.They’ve got a good drummer.Nørb: Yes they do. That guy canplay eighth notes like a motherfuckingmotherfucker.Jason: The first bad review wegot said something like “all thesefucking revisionist bands like theEpoxies and the FM Knives!”That was pretty funny.Turd [making a loud, drunkencameo appearance]: ROCKER!!!THIN LIZZY!!! I LOVE THINLIZZY, THEY’RE THE MOSTROCKINEST ROCKERS OFALL TIME!!!Nørb: Rock, Turd, Rock. [toband] So, enjoying the localcolor?FM Knives: Yeah, this is the first time we’ve beenout here. Milwaukee is pretty cool.Nørb: Yeah. It’s got its drawbacks, though. It’s one ofthose places that discovered “garage” like five yearsafter everyone else, so now...Ed: That shit is so boring.Jason: Yeah, there’s nothing worse than all thosebands...Nørb [helpfully]: All what bands?Jason: You know, the bands that go WHAAAAH!DUGGADUGGADUGGADUGGA NERT-NERT,NORT-NORT, NERT-NERT, NORT-NORT...Nørb: Do that one more time.Jason [helpfully]: WHAAAAH! DUGGADUG-GADUGGADUGGA NERT-NERT, NORT-NORT,NERT-NERT, NORT-NORT...GIRL I TELL YOUDEHHT DEHHT DEHHT DUH DEHHT DUH.They’re worse than surf bands. They always have aguy with the Prince Valiant hairdo, and they’re thebiggest jackasses.Ed: I don’t dig it. I don’t like it. It’s real fucking boring.[band all talks at once about what they like and don’tlike. All i can come away with is that Ed thinks oi ismelodic and pleasing, and Chris likes the Gang ofFour, which Ed hates]Jason: I mean, we don’t take it so seriously. Lookhow we’re dressed. We’ve just been playing music forso long in the shadow of San Francisco.Ed: Jackasses. If you’re from Sac, you’ll never becool enough.Jason: Like, they’re playing a loft, so they’re so muchbetter than you.[Jason and Ed begin ranting and raving about somethingthat seems to have to do with San Francisco, butthey are generally talking at once, and their remarksdon’t seem to hold any continuity of context, so fuckit]Chris [acknowledging his contrastto his bandmates’ highlyagitated states]: I’m on a lot ofcold medicine right now.Nørb: Fair enough, sir. Okay,best albums of all time? Bestsongs?Ed: Aw, come on, man...Nørb: If not the best, yourfavorites...Ed: How ‘bout Bold As Loveby Hendrix?Chris (unless it was Jason):Best Friend by the EnglishBeat, and that first Specialsalbum...Nørb: I like the announcer atthe beginning of Bold As Love,about the very dodgy subject ofUFOs...Ed: Paul Caruso.Jason: I think “Mannequin” byWire is one of the most perfectsongs... if I could write a songlike that...Ed: ...the second and thirdSaints albums.Nørb: The third one? Thefourth one’s better than thethird one.FM Knives: NO WAY!!!Nørb: I like “The MonkeyPuzzle.” I don’t like“Prehistoric Sounds” at all.Jason: Really???Ed: Aw, MAN!!!Jason: ...Exile on Main Street,of course...Ed: I dunno, we’ve all got somany records. We’ve been collectingrecords forever.Nørb: Please! Tell us what thefirst record you bought was!Ed: First record I bought, whenI was in third grade, wasSurfin’ USA. Then next I gotElvis Presley, and I bought aKinks album when I was nine.Nørb: What Kinks album?Ed: Live at Kelvin Hall. It wasa really crappy live album.Nørb: Named after the guywho invented the Kelvin thermometer,Lord Kelvin!Ed: I got it at the TowerRecords in Sacramento.Chris: I bought Van Halen,Diver Down, in Berkeley.Jason: I think mine wasBigger and Deffer by LL CoolJ.Nørb: He’s actually playing atthe casino in my home townnext month. [all take note ofBetty Page videos now playingoverhead] Well, since we’vegot it on TV now, howimpressed are you with girlswho try to look like BettyPage?Ed: Not very.Jason: I’m sadly stillimpressed with them, I can’tget over it. I try to not be asucker and look at them, but...Ed: They don’t like us anyway.Nørb: This was all theoretical,remember.Chris [remains silent] (turnsout he has a wife who actuallyDOES look like Betty Page,thus sagely sidestepped theentire <strong>issue</strong>)Jason: I only like girls thatdon’t like me.Nørb: It’s a lot safer that way.[spying the heretofore AWOLZack walking by]: Hey, look!It’s your missing band member!Missing band member!Missing band member! Pleasetell us your name, your instrument,and the best albumreleased in the year of yourbirth!Zack: I really don’t know.Nørb: Thank you. You’ve beena great help.Chris (in his cold medicine torpor,finally gets around toanswering the question askedtwo questions previously):King of the Road, Roger Miller.Nørb: Robin Hood soundtrack,rock on! Parting comments?Jason: Bye.Ed: Bye.Chris: Bye.Nørb: Well said.75
BOYSKOUTinterview and photos by Kat JetsonIt all began because people thought they looked cute on stage. It was that mixed with some sweet talking (read: lying)that got Boyskout their first gig back in 2001. Things were a little bit different then for this San Francisco group of dreamypopsters. For one, they were a trio. A trio with, like, one and one half songs and borrowed drum sticks. But you know, theyhad that cute thing to fall back on.Some bummer stuff happened and their original bassist departed. That left the core of the band – drummer Carrie andsinger/guitarist Leslie – with, well, no bassist. Enter a boy named Daniel, who just happened to be able to play bass, dressmighty fine, and move large pieces of musical equipment. Then along came China and she sang like adream and played the keys. Bingo and perfect-o!Boyskout were now a bulked-up, melodic and synthtastic quartet. And even though they have big-time record guys wooingthem, they’re really just a simple bunch who like girls, singing into glitter microphones, knife throwing, and Bambi.Kat: What was the catalyst forstarting Boyskout?Leslie: Carrie and I were playingtogether in a different bandcalled Tigerbeat. Tigerbeatplayed sweet, dreamy songs,and while we liked playingthese types of songs, we wantedto also be playing musicwith more of an edge. So westarted Boyskout.Carrie: I think playing inTigerbeat showed us that wehad a unique compatibility.And we wanted to develop thismusical relationship in a projectthat wasn’t backing otherpeople’s ideas, but creating ourown music and style.Kat: You originally started as athree-piece. What was the reasonfor the change?Leslie: The band changed drasticallylast summer. Our formerbass player fell from a ladderand wasn’t able to play herinstrument for a few months.My friend Daniel came to ourrescue and played the shows wehad already booked prior to herfall. After he started playingbass there really was no turning76back. A few weeks later, Chinajoined as additional vocalist andkeyboardist.Carrie: We became bettermusicians and our ideas grewmore complex. This was happeningaround the time of thegreat fall. I don’t think we eversat around and thought aboutbecoming a quartet. It just neededto happen, so it did.Kat: Did you call your bandBoyskout with a “k” for internetsearching reasons or becauseyou didn’t want to be sued byThe Boy Scouts of America?Carrie: Both.Leslie: We wanted to call ourselvesBoyskout because ourband was forming around thesame time that the Boyscoutorganization was making itclear that it didn’t want to haveanything to do with anyone whoidentified themselves as homosexual.Kat: What other bands namesdid you consider?Leslie: The Switch,SpaceScout. There was onereally bad name… I don’t wantto say it.Carrie: I thought we werecalled The Scouts for a while,then some people told me otherwise.That bad name Lesliewon’t say, well, it was reallybad. I’m glad it’s not our name.Kat: No offense to Daniel, butyou sort of have a girl gay thinggoing on. Is he cool with that?Daniel: We have a lot in common.We all like girls.Kat: On that note, do you mindbeing labeled a queer band?Leslie: I don’t mind.Daniel: I’d prefer to be labeledas a good band.Kat: What have China andDaniel added to your band?Carrie: Daniel is a great musicianand he has style. Ourrhythm section is getting moreintense; he likes to push things,like I do. He should carry moreequipment, though. China’sstyle and her influences haveadded a new dimension to ourmusic. She’s a good foil toLeslie.Leslie: Daniel and China feellike family. They make being ina band feel right for me.Kat: What do you think abouton stage?Daniel: The Vibrations.Carrie: Whenever I’m reallyinto playing, I have flashbacksfrom times and events that Icould never recall in normallife, and some events that Iknow never happened. I don’tknow why. I guess it’s somesort of fully engaged meditation.Although I’m completelyaware of what I’m doing, part ofmy brain takes off on its own.It’s fucking bizarre.Kat: Tell us what’s it like drivingin a van with Boyskout?China: It can be very amusing.Carrie: And violent.Leslie: We like to rough eachother up.Daniel: I prefer to fly.Kat: Does being in a band getyou more dates?China: It gets me in more trouble.Kat: Do you remember whatyour first Boyskout show waslike? How did you get that gig?Leslie: Our first show wasopening up for The Need. Wecouldn’t really play our instrumentsbut people said we
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Page 22 and 23: THE AMAZING SNOX BOXBy Brian Gage,
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Page 28 and 29: øRev. NørbLove, NørbDEAR READERS
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Page 42 and 43: Sean: Who’s the abusive lady on y
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Page 60 and 61: TheZack Olson: BassJason Patrone: V
Page 62 and 63: Nørb: Yeah, but i don’t really l
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Page 68 and 69: Please note: If you’rean establis
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Page 72 and 73: CONVERGE: Unlovedand Weeded Out: CD
Page 74 and 75: ing and I’m still bummed that the
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Page 91 and 92: pasts), and that’s a true sign of
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razorcake issue #16

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