razorcake issue #16

Tears,” and the noisy, chaotic closerinstrumental “Minus Two.” I am anxiousto hear their upcoming full length.Their last LP, The Noise Made ByPeople, from 2000 was one of myfavorites of the year. –Sarah (Warp)BROADZILLA:Lady Luck: CDThey look like they raided CherieCurrie’s closet circa 1976 and soundlike some lost L7 demo with EG Dailyhandling vocal duties. Yes, it’s that bad.–Jimmy Alvarado (Diamond Star)BROKEN BOTTLES:Not Pretty: CDEPI wonder about the future of the BrokenBottles. The way I see it, in ten years Imay say, “I saw those guys at the DollHut with Smogtown,” and people willbe amazed and say that they read aboutthat show in such-and-such book andhundreds of people will claim to havebeen there when, in reality, only aboutthirty people were. Either that, or I’llsay, “Broken Bottles could’ve been thebiggest OC punk band since SocialDistortion, but they self-destructed,”and people will say, “Who?” Onething’s for sure, I’ve passed on BrokenBottles CDs and played Broken Bottlesseven inches for dozens of people, andeveryone has become a fan. Not Prettyis a perfect introduction to them, too.It’s melodic and catchy and a little disturbed(they sing about killing cats andstarring in a porn with Kelly Osbourne)and, if radio stations got their hands on“Gothic Chicks,” Broken Bottleswould be huge. Before that happens,pick up this awesome EP, and pick uptheir Radioactive San Onofre andBloody Mary seven inches, whileyou’re at it. –Sean (Finger)BRONX, THE: Self-titled: CDAttention all hipsters: Scandinavianpunk rock’n’roll has hit Hollywood.Please head in an orderly fashion toyour nearest trendy shirt shop onMelrose to buy your officially sanctionedTurbonegro T-shirts, and take allof your friends along with you. Anyonecaught on the Strip not wearing theaforementioned officially sanctionedTurbonegro T-shirt will be considered,like, totally lame. –Jimmy Alvarado(White Drugs)BUSINESS, THE:Hardcore Hooligan: CDI have a world of respect for TheBusiness. Along with Cocksparrer, theypioneered street punk. You can’t compareThe Business to other bands.They’re the hallmark. Nonetheless,nearly thirty years after The Businessstarted off, you have to be a little hesitantabout a new album by them. Whatcan they do to stay interesting thismany years into the game? Well, howabout an album comprised solely ofsongs about football (or soccer, as weAmericans call it)? That’s whatHardcore Hooligan is, and, for a closetsoccer fanatic, it works for me. There’sa song about Gareth Southgate, theEnglish national team player whomissed the penalty kick that would’vegotten England into the finals of the1996 European Cup. There’s “VivaBobby Moore,” a song about England’sall-time best player (I’ve watched filmsof Bobby Moore, and the guy wasamazing; he’s the only player I’ve everseen who could legitimately be comparedto Pele). They sing the praises ofMichael Owen, the most promisingEnglish soccer player since BobbyMoore (that’s my opinion, not everyoneelse’s, but you should’ve seen himagainst Argentina in the ‘98 World Cup,when he decided to take the game intohis own hands, dribble past the entiredefense, and score one of the all-timegreatest World Cup goals). They curseArgentinean national team playerDiego Maradona in two separate songs,first with the basic, “Maradona, you’reshit,” and second with a re-recording of“Handball,” which starts out, “3000miles is a long way to go/ to be beatenby a dwarf in Mexico.” Not only wasMaradona one of the shiftiest players toever make it to the national soccerstage, but, in 1986, he got away withsmacking a ball into the goal with hishand, which effectively eliminatedEngland from the Cup, so, yeah, hedeserves two songs cursing him. I hatedthat fucker when he played. I’m notstanding by The Business, though,when they sing about Maradona andArgentina beating England in that Cupand finishing up by singing, “Everyoneknows the final score/ but who won theFalklands war.” The coolest thing aboutthis version of “Handball” is that it wasoriginally on their Welcome to the RealWorld album, which was a recordedright around the time when TheBusiness’s popularity was waning fastand new wave was picking up, so allthe songs – which were written to bestreet punk songs – were recorded likesomeone was trying to make aThompson Twins album. And everytime I listen to Welcome to the RealWorld, I think that it would be one ofpunk’s greatest albums if they just rerecordedit to sound like The Businessis supposed to sound. This version of“Handball” supports that theory.Beyond the direct attacks or songs ofpraise about professional athletes,there’s a bunch of songs on HardcoreHooligan that are just about drinkingand going to soccer games. It makes mewish that I could get together with theguys from The Business, go to aEnglish First Division soccer game,drink beer, sing songs, and root likehell for whoever The Business root for.–Sean (BYO)BUTT: It’s Butt!: CDEPButt comes at you like a sonic attack, orso they say. I happen to agree. Bestlyrics ever: “Somethin’ somethin’ ‘boutthe pride we lack.” I want them to playmy birthday party. –Megan (Butt)CARBONAS: I’m Astray,Don’t Let On b/w Push Me: 7”Heavy and dirty, but like a wet andsticky Jolly Ranger taken from theground and put in your mouth, there’ssome odd sweetness coming throughthe crunch. The singer’s voice is theclutch and transmission: it predicts thepace, the shifting speeds, and makesthe listen mid-tempo and gutsy. All Ican think of for a comparison would beSpace Cookie re-doing AC/DC, frontedby a crooner instead of a punker, andthat helps, oh, about twenty people out,so I’ll say straight ahead rock’n’rollwith plenty of pleasing snarl.Thankfully, Carbonas leave out theparts where hair is shooken, feet are puton amps, and stands clear of noodlingsolos. Not bad. –Todd(Die Slaughterhouse, $3)CAT ON FORM:Structure and Fear: CDSounds like an emo band trying to disguiseitself as an art punk band, yetonly managing to sound just as terrible