Mindfulness and Liberation True Love Global Sangha: - The ...

true LOVEMindfulnessin MarriageBy Lynda Bidlake andLewis BrightHeart Headrick30 Winter/Spring 2011We were accustomedto talkingabout difficultiesright away, and wefeared that the tensionwould remainhigh if we waitedfor an appointment.Ijoin my husband for a late lunch in a local restaurant. The waitresscomes back again and again to refill our water glasses, eventhough we’ve only sipped. At our booth by the window, we aresoftly reading to each other. Transparently, the waitress is strainingto see what title engrosses us. I recognize that hunger. Once Ispied an elderly couple gazing at each other in open, unboundedjoy and love. knew I was eavesdropping on a private exchange,but I would have given anything to have someone with whom toshare such a look. Now I’ve accomplished that vision, and thisyoung woman sees the same caring exchange pass between myhusband and me.Seeing her clear interest, we start talking with the waitress;she forgets all about the water. We tell her that a good relationshiprequires both time and attention. “We’ve been married forfive years, but we meet for lunch when our lives get busy.” Shetalks breathlessly and fast. She has almost given up hope for herrelationship with her boyfriend of five years; it’s gotten tired andstale. He won’t even talk, much less read to her. She avidly asks,“What are you reading? What else do you do?”Our Shared PracticeWe tell her about our practice. Most mornings we get up at5:30 a.m. She winces, but we jocularly point out that it’s importantto find a time when nothing will distract us. Our spiritual life, interwovenwith our relationship, comes first. Each morning we takeour coffee into our small meditation room. Our altar has cards on itwith the names of loved ones in need. An image of Avalokiteshvarahangs on the wall above it. We light a stick of incense and stand it in