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RHE<strong>TO</strong>RICAL SKILLS29 WORDINESSTo avoid wordiness, eliminate language that either duplicateswhat has already been expressed or adds nothing tothe sense of the statement.WORDY:At the present time, you can call up the library onthe telephone if you want to receive that particularin<strong>format</strong>ion.REVISED:Now you can call the library for that in<strong>format</strong>ion,WORDY:A factor in the cause of the decline in stock priceswas unwarranted growth.REVISED:OROne cause of the decline in stock prices wasunwarranted growth.A factor in the decline in stock prices. . .WORDY:As a pet, the llama is easygoing in its habits andhas a friendly personality.REVISED:As a pet, the llama is easygoing and friendly.Expressions like there are and it is can add unnecessarywords to your sentences.EXAMPLES:[There are] several people at school [who] havepromised to help with the gardening at the newcampus.[!t is] the way you swing the club [that] amazesme.30 REDUNDANCYA redundant expression is characterized by unnecessaryrepetition. To say adequate enough is to be redundant,because adequate and enough have nearly the samemeaning.EXAMPLES:The two clubs joined [together] to feed the poor atChristmas.They circled [around] the field.For a list of ski areas in the state, refer [back] topage 25.Avoid redundancies and roundabout phrases (circumlocutions)like the following:Wordyadvance planningcontributing factordue to the fact thatduring the course ofWordyexact same symptomsfor the purpose ofin the event thatin the near futurelarge in sizepast experiencepast historyrevert backsufficient enoughOMISSIONSConciseplanningfactorbecauseduringConcisesame symptoms; exact symptomsforifsoonlargeexperiencehistoryrevertsufficient; enoughA common error in written English is the careless omission,especially the omission acceptable in speech butnot in writing. Some writers for whom English is a secondlanguage leave out the articles a, an, and the becausetheir native languages uses them differently.31A Careless omissionsDo not omit a needed verb, preposition, or conjunction.FAULTY:The Coast Guard always has and always willassist boaters in distress.CORRECT:The Coast Guard always has assisted and alwayswill assist boaters in distress.FAULTY:Carol will graduate high school in June.CORRECT:Carol will graduate from high school in June.FAULTY:Liza was both allergic and fond of cats.CORRECT:Liza was both allergic to and fond of cats.FAULTY:He eats as much or more than anyone else in thefamily.CORRECT:He eats as much as or more than anyone else inthe family.47

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