Obama or Romney? - St Paul's High School

Volume 66, Issue 2 October 31, 2012Morgan PaquetteSenior ContributorAuthor Morgan Paquette attemptsto explain how women work inrelationships and explains just whythe old antics don’t cut it anymore.For men, there will alwaysbe one mystery: women. The truthis, no one understands them andanyone that claims to is a liar.For those lucky enough to havea relationship with one of thesebeautiful creatures, stop right therebefore you make another move.There is one secret that isthe death of relationships:the old tricks of romancedon’t work! It might behard to believe but romancedoesn’t happen like it usedto in your grandparentsdays.I myself learned thisthe hard way. The old tipsand tricks I held true to myheart betrayed me, floatingoff to the Island of MisfitIdeals. Over three or fourmonths I fell hard for twowomen in my life, each one uniquelydifferent. At that point I vowed tofollow the age old rules of making arelationship work: instant attraction,deep conversations, profession ofattraction, attend social event withsaid girl, profession of love, firstkiss, happily ever after. There maybe variations, but at least one or twoof these steps fall into every man’srelationship guidebook. If there isone thing I learned: the old systemdoes not work. The women in ourlives have developed resilience toour ways.I followed these steps andended up in the worst possibleposition. I met this girl, she motivatedme to change and become someonebetter than my past self. I pouredmy heart, my energy, my wallet,my everything into this girl; if myrelationship were a clock, every cogmoved perfectly until the professionof love step in the system reared itsugly head and threw a wrench in mygears.I thought I did everythingright, my only problem being theprofession was over Facebook.Now, here I sit, a recluse writingArts and LifeRelationships with GirlsOne man’s honest opinionthis article for those who have yetto be destroyed by the old waysof romance. Since understandingwomen is impossible on my own, Iturned to a woman for help.At two in the morning, sixmonths after I had met the girl, herbest friend began to talk to me viaFacebook. We talked for a while,before I confessed I had fallen forher best friend and my plans tobring out the old fashioned ways. Atthis she snapped, promising to tellme how love works. As a romantic,and a journalist, I was immediatelyhooked and cleared my evening tolisten to this young lady tell me howit all worked.Relationships, accordingto the girl, go through four stagesbefore happily ever after. The firststage, the pre-relationship stageis according to her, “the most funstage”. It is in this stage that youtry and get the girl’s attention. Toelaborate on this stage, it is vital forit can make or break a relationshipopportunity.When you are trying to getthe girl’s attention, you have toattack it from the right angle. If thegirl is flirty and fun, then flirtingwith the girl is fine. However if sheis quiet, reserved and naïve showyour sensitive side if it exists. Inthis I mean: if the girl has classdon’t show up in public with her…wearing sweat pants.After this stage you enterthe second stage, the stage in whichone enters the relationship begins.We can also call this stage the “getto know” stage. The get-to-knowstage is when you learn all aboutthe person on a deeper level thanyou could have imagined. You learnthe small things, like what saidperson puts in her coffee and her petpeeves.After much prodding, anda small bit of sharing on your part,you break into her shell and herinto yours. You tell each other yourdarkest secrets, your deepest fearsand several other things you don’ttalk about even to your own motheror your best friend.Gentlemen, thisis a dangerous stage. Inconvincing this girl to tellyou her secrets you alsoharbour the responsibilityto keep the secret betweenyou two. Once she tellsyou, your lips must besealed even after therelationship ends. Sheopened herself up to you,now you have to hold upyour end of the bargainand keep these secretssafe.The few unlucky gentlementhat slip up and tell someone elsethe girl’s secret are usually thosethat end up in my position. I toldone of the girl’s best friends a secretI never should have. I thought I hadbypassed the problem until I gotinto an argument over somethingfrivolous with said girl.Of course my girl playedthe “You promised not to tell” card,resulting in my losing the argumentand going to bed feeling stupid.While I spend the night hatingmyself, my girl stays up no doubtsmiling on the inside armed with theknowledge that she has taught me alesson.After she tells you hersecrets however, the relationshipbegins. The relationship can godown two different roads: the funand flirty relationship or the seriousand meaningful relationship. Thefun, flirty and simple relationshipis perhaps the most common and iscertainly strong. It is the relationshipwhich consists of more fun dates(i.e.: go-karting, mini-golf, moviesand pizza in PJ’s, spontaneouskissing sessions, flour and water37