30r364 boek.qxd:awards book 11 - Prince Claus Fund

Extract 2 from The Moth-Eaten Howdah of the TuskerMark remained rooted where he was, wonder struck. Not a word came out of his throat. Giribalacried out, “Why don’t you close the door, Sahib? Water is coming inside.”“Giribala, you are breaking the traditional code of Gossain families. Go back! Right now! Go back!”Giribala got up and without heeding Mark’s words, closed and bolted the door. Then shereturned to the stool and sat down. She started squeezing out water from her gatala. She then heldthe edge of the mekhala with her teeth, to cover her breasts, and tried to open the wet, soggy chemisethat had stuck to her torso like a second skin…What is she doing? This Gossain’s daughter! Mark turned his eyes away. Then suddenly he said,“Come! That’s enough! I’ll go with you and take you back to your house. Listen Giribala! I know verywell the condition of your mind. I understand everything and it’s absolutely crystal clear to me…”But no, she is not at all perturbed. She has by now removed her chemise, squeezed out the waterand kept it aside on the floor. Now she has opened her hair and with rapid strokes, she is trying toremove water from the soaking tresses. No, she is not at all agitated or concerned about anything!As if she has come here with a deliberate and pre-planned purpose! She is quite calm and composed.Mark knelt down beside her and reiterated his request. She looked into his eyes and said, “Myfather-in-law has sent two men. But I am not going!”“Giribala!”“I will not go back to that graveyard! I don’t want to be buried alive! I’d rather die!”Scores of images of Gossain widows passed before Mark’s eyes. Widows who have stretched outtheir existence within four walls, who have never seen the road outside. Widows racked by deprivationand unknown diseases, brought on by harsh and cruel rituals. Widows who had died without fulfillingtheir craving to learn the rudiments of reading and writing, without drinking in the nectar of writtenwords, out of fear of social censure. Oh! There are hundreds, thousands of such women on the banksof rivers like Jagalia!…And there before him, among all those images is Giribala, like the reflection of a lotus flowerin the water of a lake, locked on all sides by high mountains.What does she want to say now? Oh, Lord of Confessions?“After I came of age, all those Gossainees on the river bank used to tell me: You are an angel, youare a sweet angel! But do you know? That husband of mine, who often visited that notorious woman,the opium thief, he used to say, ‘What’s so great about your beautiful body? That lady of Kiniari!Even though she is a low-caste opium seller, her body glows with exciting sexuality… You are nothingin comparison… They say, she always goes about sniffing at men, like a bitch on heat, but where’sthat lustful current of blood flowing in the veins of the Gossainee girls like you?’”Giribala could not continue. Her eyes filled with tears. She crouched with her head on her kneesand started crying bitterly, loud sobs racking her body. Her hair lay scattered on her back. Her softarms and shoulders were bare and vulnerable. An inner voice whispered: Mark, why don’t you lift herin your arms and console her! Lift her up in a tight embrace. You have seen her reflection in the waterof Jagalia, in the muddy slopes of Matia Pahar. You have seen her reflection everywhere! Why don’tyou ask yourself? Was it not in your mind? You saw her in the wind and in the rain, didn’t you? Whydon’t you look into your heart?…Giribala looked up with red, tear-washed eyes. She said, “I couldn’t bind him to me with eithermy body or my mind. But the flesh of that woman! Was it so powerful that before it, virtue anddecency, all things worthwhile in life, became futile, like mere dust on the roadside? All the treasuresof mind became as meaningless as dust only because of that flesh!… Can one believe it? Oh, my love,touch me and realise just for once… just once!…”Mark took a step back. Mark’s God, ruling over his heart, always so restrained, thirsty for knowledge,38 2008 Prince Claus Awards