Covenanter Witness Vol. 86 - Rparchives.org

WhatAboutYourWife?By June P. WilliamsThe conversation between the pulpit committee andmy husband went something like this."We've talked about you and what you can do. Now,what about your wife? What can she do?" asked a memberof the committee."Well," replied my husband, "she can cook, sewand iron and . . "Whereupon he was interrupted by the Committeeman:"Oh, no. I mean, what can she do in thechurch?""Are we talking about two salaries or one?" my noblespouse asked. ' 'My wife will do as much as any other womanof the church, but don't expect more of her. The last timeyou went to the doctor or the dentist, were their wives thereto hold your hand?"Let me hurriedly assure you, this conversation isrepeated with my most sincere warmth and respect for thosewho are chosen to serve on a pulpit committee. I realize whata tremendous responsibility is placed upon their shoulders asthey try to please the congregation they represent and act inthe best interest of the church.However, I believe the topic of this conversation hasentered into most meetings of this type, directly or indirectly.It's true that the minister's wife and family have agreat influence upon his ministry; he can be "made or"ruined" by the personality of his wife.When a man enters the ministry, he realizes there isan image the laity expects him to fulfill. Those of us whomarry these "celestial bodies" must realize we are a part ofthis image, and I dare say. anyone who is not willing toadjust to this fact should either choose another way of life orprepare for a hard road.The relationship of congregation and minister — andminister's family — is special. Your minister loves God, thechurch and you — his flock — very much or else he wouldnot be with you. This applies to the lady of the manse,doubly! She takes the hurts and criticisms more personally.Because of this love, the desire to serve the Master and hischurch to the very best of their ability is the center of theirexistence. This being true, they come to you filled with azeal to accomplish great goals for Christ and his church.Here is where the responsibility shifts — greatchurches and great ministers are made by great people! You,the church, must share in the ministry. If you do not agreewith the policies or procedures, don't be a disgruntledmember. Speak your ideas if you are sure they are in the bestinterest of those concerned, but, for God's sake and thewelfare of the church, keep your opinions to yourself if theyare just personal peeves! The carrying on of the greatmission of the church must be uppermost in our hearts andminds.Just as the congregation has an image it expects theminister and his family to match, the reverse is true: theminister expects certain things of his congregation. Hewants them to remember that, although he is anordained minister of God, he and his family are stillhuman beings and, as such, capable of mistakes! You expectGod, your minister and your fellow Christians to beforgiving and uplifting. Should not your minister expect thesame of his flock?Lately, we hear much about men of the clergy leavingthe church. Sometimes I wonder if it is not a case of thechurch leaving them. I fully believe we receive forgivenessfrom God sooner and easier than we do from our fellowChristians.Beloved people, love your minister and his family;uphold them and, yes, give them criticism when needed —in a constructive and loving manner. If this is the pattern,the minister's wife will not be put in the place of moderatorand mediator until she finds her position and sanity impossible.Your minister's wife wants to help her husband andshare in his ministry in ways she thinks she is most capable.But she must work this out for herself — and will, with theproper encouragement. Then you won't have to ask, "Whatabout vour wife? What can she do?"Mrs. Williams, who lives in Fort Wayne, Indiana, is thewife of John W. Williams, a Christian Church (Disciples ofChrist) minister. Reprinted bv permission from T1IFCHRISTIAN. Februarv 2. 1969.Seminary QuarterlyMARCH 10. 1971 7