Covenanter Witness Vol. 86 - Rparchives.org

Games Christians PlayBy Judi Chaffee CulbertsonNo doubt, you too have played some of these gamesas you have met with other haloed saints.Once upon a time there was a woman who wanted togo to church and teach a (Sabbath) school class—only, herhusband wouldn't let her. "If it weren't for you," she toldhim, "I could be a real Christian." "If it weren't for him,"she told her Christian friends, "I'd help out with PioneerGirls."Then one day, miracle of miracles, her husbandbecame a Christian ( in spite of her). And wanted her towork in the church. And she realized to her dismay thatshe didn't really want to spend all her time there, that thethought of getting up before everyone, to teach or sing,terrified her. So she found a new game to play: "I'd Loveto, But. . ."Dr. Eric Berne, the psychologist who introduced thetheory of "games" in his best-seller, "Games People Play,"describes a game as "a recurring set of transactions, oftenrepetitious, superficially plausible, progressing to a welldefined,predictable outcome." In other words, a game is akind of cover for the truth.Everybody plays games; in this age of multiple andcomplex relationships it is impossible not to, to somemeasure. The trouble is, Christians playing Church canseriously impair the work of Christ's mission. Many criticsnow say that the idea of a "church" is obsolete, that it is sotangled up in itself that it doesn't touch the world outsideit at all. We'll not argue the point here.Yet many of us want our church to be a real"fellowship of believers" as well as a citadel where peoplein a broken world can take refuge in the strength andcomfort of Christ Himself. But to do so, it must as nearlyas possible be game-free.What, then, are some of the games Christians play?(1) "Ain't It Awful." AIA is mostly played bywomen who gather after church or at social events tobemoan the evils nowadays of moral looseness, theworldliness of the young people and other churchmembers and why Mrs. Johnson can't keep her kids frommisbehaving during church. They secretly believe that thegolden days of real Christianity are gone forever andhuddle together as the last true believers. By attackingeveryone else, they are made secure within their ownfeelings and able to tackle any proposed "changes" in thechurch.(2) "I Didn't Get a thing Out of It." Out of the(Sabbath) sermon, the missionary speaker, the new Bibleclass. This game can be played several ways. "If I didn'tget anything out of it, it's silly to spend the time goingagain tonight." Also, the person feels automatically absolvedof responsibility toward anything in the message;often the player is a self-styled Bible student and knowsJUNE 30, 1971more anyway than the minister or teacher.(3) "Insult." Often played by a person who secretlywishes to leave a church or keep receiving reassurance ofhis worth. By irritable or unreasonable actions or remarks,he provokes someone else into "insulting" him. Then hecan get the rest of the congregation to choose up sides, orgo running to the minister. The minister can either smooththings out till the next time, or give him the excuse he hasbeen looking for.(4) "Let's All Pray for Poor Mrs. Swenson." This isusually a prayer meeting game, though it can also beplayed individually as well. Someone gets up and announcesthat Mr. Jones is out of work again or that theBrown's son is rebelling and starting to drink or that twounnamed ladies are fighting again—and would we pleaseremember them in prayer. I don't think this game of piousgossip is quite what Jesus had in mind when He told us topray for one another. A variation of this, that comes alittle closer, is "True Confessions."(5) "I Don't Know Why They Don'tDo Something About It." Thus is a slightly subtle passingthe buck—a refusal to take any responsibility. It sets up aubiquitious "They" who should be doing something aboutthe snow on the church steps, the noisy children in thevestibule before the service, the poor organization of thewoman's society. Since it's not "up to them" they can feelperfectly free to criticize it. When something constructiveis done, they can play "Well, Nobody Asked Me AboutIt."(6) "Prima Donna." Hopefully there is just one ortwo in a congregation who can say, in effect, "If you don'tappreciate meI'll go somewhere else." And because thereis often a shortage of capable personnel, because theprima donna is usually one of the "best" people the churchhas, he or she most likely gets his way. A variation of thisis "Coax Me."(7) "I Don't Mean to Criticize, But—""Probably I Shouldn't Say This, But—""It's None of My Business, But—"No comment necessary.(8) "Mary Martyr." Not confined to women, but theyare a little better at it. This player will take all kinds ofthankless jobs upon herself even if she is really too busy,seemingly without a word of complaint—except for herpale, drawn face, the circles under her eyes. Sooner orlater the congregation will recognize her game and willeither commiserate and continue to heap tasks on her,sometimes until she "collapses;" or, they will relieve her ofher overload, which ruins everything.(9) "As I Was Saying to Billy (Graham) the OtherDay."This is a relatively harmless little game of namedropping,ego-rewarding and somewhat impressive, exseepage lb4