Covenanter Witness Vol. 86 - Rparchives.org

The Role of a Father in the Christian Homeby Rev. Kenneth SmithSynod's Director of Christian EducationWhen George McManus invented the unforgettableMaggie and Jiggs in "Bringing Up Father," he may havebeen saying much more than was commonly understood.The obvious picture of a domineering shrew outwittingand outmaneuvering a rather indulgent spouse needs littlecomment. The title of the comic strip said as much.What may have been in McManus's mind as a subthemewould subtlely show itself in Jiggs' desire to escapefrom it all down at Dinty Moore's. What has happenedsince McManus was popular is not new in kind: justdegree. Jiggs and Maggie hung in there. The modern Jiggstakes his escape through divorce. That is, if he has what ittakes.Rather than climbing on the bandwagon todismember Maggie, a prototype of today's "Lib," I wouldlike to propose that there lurks in every man the desire forfulfillment. And every man likes to have his "DintyMoore's" where he can sound off and know the boys willlisten. The problem comes when he can't find such aplace. In the Christian community of course we say he hasthe church. But it is my own opinion that for years menhave had basic needs which have been left unfulfilled,while the church has given itself to children, youth, andwomen. Men? Too often they are not around. Or if theyare, they become submerged under titles, responsibilities,and activity, leaving a personality longing in vain forsomeone to notice and listen to him.So when one begins to think of a "father" in theChristian home, instead of automatically thinking of hisduties, I propose we must first think of a person.Someone. Who, after all, is he? And what makes up hispersonality? He has individuality; God made him thatway. Yet he is not independent. His characteristics oftenreveal unconsciously the same characteristics of his fatherand mother. But he is someone nonetheless.A man who plays the role of a father in a Christianhome really needs this self-concept first of all. I am notconsidering him psychologically and apart from theChristian context. Our generation has tended to depersonalizemankind, men and women alike, resulting inmany men in our churches who do not believe a discussionof their own personality and aspirations, not to mentiontheir problems, is worthy of anyone else's time. Except attheir Dinty Moore's, wherever that may be. But I amtalking about normal life. When we say to today's worldthat their chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Himforever, we must not assume that they necessarily understandand feel their personal worth. How a man gets'hat self-image is another subject. I simply point up thatAPRIL 28. 1971being a father in the Biblical sense means being someone.And enjoying it!This leads then to the matter of being able to"relate" in terms of personality. Every man lives in termsof three relationships. This phenomenon shows itself inboth the Old and New Testaments when man's responsibilityto love God, and his neighbor as himself, becomesexplicit. Here again we confront a culture which no longerrecognizes subconsciously that a personal God exists andcares about the activities of His creatures. So when wepresent the Christian Gospel, we must delve deeply intothe Biblical doctrine of the nature of man and his essentialcharacteristics as a creature, not just the highest form of abiological evolution. It may seem strange to be discussingthis in an article about fatherhood, but it is not strange.Our culture has forsaken so much!! And it shows in thelives of many men who have difficulty relating at all, not tomention relating in love.The Gospel of Christ brings man to a place wherethe Bible calls him a "child" of God, and he prays "OurFather. . . " The blessing of being able to relate to God asone's heavenly Father makes a profound effect in a man'slife. He knows God cares. He knows he belongs. He knowsGod's forgiveness in Christ is real. He can fail, yet findrestoration. How beautiful to know God "holds him on hislap," a position every Christian covets!Talking this way does not come easily for some men,for they have never known this kind of relationship on ahuman level. And it then becomes difficult to separatethese three dimensions of God, self, and others. Theyintertwine. We can say the relationship to God is first, andthat's true. But sometimes this comes about essentiallythrough someone; we can no doubt say usually. Andnormally, as the covenant view would suggest, it comesfrom the parents. It is my purpose here to establish that afather in the Biblical sense relates to God, himself, andothers on the basis of love. Without this he may sire anoffspring, but he certainly has not been a father. He maybring home the bacon, but if he has no rapport with hiswife, he can hardly be called a good husband. As a person,he relates to the Person of God as his heavenly Father,and such a man will of necessity relate to others as aperson.Mav I suggest that the role of the father also bringsup the whole matter of masculinity. A father is a man,sexuallv speaking, and he must act like one. Beyond that,he must feel like a man! Unisex not withstanding, theBible teaches God made man generically in two sexes.Being a man has much in common with womanhood, but5