Ministering to the Young Single Adult - Elmer Towns

escape from many things but often is escape from parents or a homesituation. Protection. Adventure. Common interest and likes. Socialposition or improvement. Parents’ wishes. Pregnancy. Pity. Spite. Therebound. Or simply to conform-it’s the custom to marry in many a youngcrowd. 10We could generalize and say that there are many good reasons that people marry.These marriages usually enrich life and result in meaningful relationships. But there arenegative reasons that young people marry. The summary word for negative marriage is“escape.” Such “escape” marriages do not necessarily have to be bad and result in brokenhomes and lives. However, they begin on a pessimistic and selfish basis that should causeconcern in the church.2. Why don’t young adults marry? Physical attraction does not contribute ananswer. Some of the best-looking, talented, well-rounded personalities go through lifesingle. At the same time some of the most homely, sour, selfish and unattractive peopleare married. Basically, young adults who are not married can be divided into two majorgroups: those who want to marry and cannot, and those who do not want to marry.a. Those who want to marry and cannot. This group of young single adultsdeserves our compassion. Early in childhood they begin to formulate a mental image ofthemselves as a part of a happy marriage. This image is carried through adolescence andnow in adulthood is not realized. These people usually live lonely lives. The reasons theyare not married apply both to men and women.The young single adult who wants to get married and cannot may’ be physicallyunattractive. “Being fat,” having scars or other physical deformities may be a physicalbarrier resulting in a psychological or sociological inhibition. Some of these youngpeople may be dowdy and have not been taught how to present themselves attractively.Others may not be able to get married because of their lack of social adjustment. Theymay be shy, self-conscious and find it difficult to meet people. Healthy relationships withthose of the opposite sex have long been considered the path to marriage. Some youngsingle adults may be socially retarded, ill, or in need of institutionalization. Still othersmay have responsibilities which prevent marriage, such as care of an elderly parent. Forsome reason they do not get married because of a physical, mental or social limitation.Other young single adults may not be married because of a shortage of eligiblemarriage partners. Employment conditions may be such as not to bring them in contactwith the opposite sex (night employment, overseas employment, etc.).b. Young single adults who do not marry because they have no desire. Womenwho do not desire marriage usually give their career as the largest single reason. Theydesire professional advancement or to make a contribution to the world. Especiallywomen foreign missionaries fall into this category. Among men, desire for independenceand freedom, when contrasted with the responsibilities of marriage, is given as the mainreason for remaining single.