Ministering to the Young Single Adult - Elmer Towns

IntroductionFive years ago this book appeared in print because I could find no written helpdealing with young single adults in the church. Since that time Christian journalism hasbeen giving some help (see bibliography). Those wishing to minister to the young singleadult on a personal basis or as a group will find help.Time magazine named as man of the year the young single adult, “the man andwoman 25 and under,” focusing national attention on the swingers. Apartment complexeshave been built for them, bachelor tours planned for them, and movies made about them.However, not all the young single adults fit that formula.The 1950s witnessed a trend to earlier marriages, stampeding journalists into printagainst “teenage marriages.” Now, the trend is reversed and couples are getting marriedlater in life. Late marriages, coupled with exploding population, results in more youngsingle adults. The church should be more concerned about them than ever before.I studied fifteen young single adult groups in churches before writing the originalvolume. Since that time I have visited another twenty-five groups, and am encouragedthat there is a ministry to the young single adult at the local church level. The followingprinciples should be added, growing out of my observations in the past five years.1. Small churches with less than five young adults should not plan an organizedmeeting for them. If there are a few young single adults in a church, involve them inservice especially in the Sunday School, club programs and service areas of the church.The environment in small churches usually accentuates “singleness” among theunmarried, because the social life of the church is directed toward a family orientedministry. Leaders in small churches who have young single adults should encourage themto attend fellowships for singles in other churches or provide a fellowship meeting on aninter-church basis.2. If a new work with young single adults is not successful within two months, itshould be dropped. Because of their drive for fellowship, arising from loneliness andidentity-crisis, young single adults go where there is warmth and opportunities to meetother adults in meaningful settings. When new works are begun, and young single adultsdo not attend, perhaps non-verbal messages of “manipulation” are communicated,offending the young single adults. They do not want to be treated as special cases, ratheras human beings. Some churches patronize them, hence driving the visitor away. Thosesingle adults who already come will tolerate the patronization and continue attending andserving. But the total environment in the church will not attract other young single adults.3. College and career classes do not mix. Most large churches have a college andcareer Sunday School class, but this method of organizing a class contradicts the natureof the two groups. The career single adult wants more fellowship, more activity, andmore involvement. At the same time, the college student is involved in studies, classes,sports events and organized institutional life, i.e., the college. As a result, the careeradults plan their meetings around activity and involvement, hence attracting other career