Ministering to the Young Single Adult - Elmer Towns

Although more people live in high-rise than in an entire Iowatown, few young people meet their neigh-hors. And it’s almost the same inthe small brownstones, where a female tenant has lived for almost a year“without seeing a neighbor’s face.” 5We live in a mobile society and the young adult is constantly entering into newsocial, complex relationships. When it comes to friendships, he does not make prematurecommitments to a relationship that may turn out to be a dead-end street if not detrimentalto him.Loneliness is most acute for the young adult because the rest of theyoung adults have each other. Always when I’m lonely, I hear otherpeople doing things and t know that they aren’t lonely. 6These quotations on loneliness reflect the search by young adults for identity.“Who am I?” questions the young person. “When I was a child my knowledge of olderadults didn’t include young single adults and my parents weren’t single.” The averageyoung single adult always planned to be married. “How can I find happiness in this newrole of single life?”I suddenly felt very far away from everything familiar to me-therewas no one within a thousand miles who really knew about me. No oneknew of past accomplishments, successes or failures. I felt as if I had noidentity. I had a feeling of standing apart from the past. I was nobody. 7Frustration and despair are other names for loneliness. Many times the youngadult feels that he is in a situation which is “un-get-at-able. He is lonely and can’t doanything about it.” If he lives at home, his parents don’t really understand his needs. If helives away from home, the problem is compounded. There is no one to whom he can talk.The church should help minister to the lonely adult.Loneliness is not the same as solitude. Solitude may be very creative. Solitude isbeing alone and liking it. However, loneliness is an unwelcome separation from otherpeople. No one desires to be lonely, so the one who is lonely is by the very fact proven tobe incapable of controlling his existence.One young adult said, “I dwell in mystery.” He didn’t understand his place in life,his future in life; the only thing he knew for sure was his past-where he came from. Theyoung adult needs to see Christ in whom “all things consist-cohere, are held together”(Col. 1:17, Amp. N.T.). Also he needs to see himself in relationship to the church,“members one of another” (Rom. 12:5).The church can minister to the young single adult who has the problem ofloneliness. Some of the following suggestions are offered to both the church and theyoung single adult.1. The church can provide fellowship for the young single adult. When a youngperson shares his life with others who have the same problem, he may build lasting