Ministering to the Young Single Adult - Elmer Towns

The Young Single Adult and His ProblemsGrowth at any age involves problems. The final growth stage from the teens to thetwenties could involve the most serious problems in life. The transition to youngadulthood from adolescence is not like crossing a street. There are a vast number ofexperiences necessary for an adolescent to experience before entering into adulthood.Some adolescents go through some experiences earlier and others later. Some adolescentsenter all of the experiences early and other adolescents enter these experiences late. Theseelements of transition are called developmental tasks.Implied in a developmental task is a problem. The young single adult mustovercome more barriers and problems in the march to maturity. The developmental taskfor this young person involves skills, knowledge, and appreciations that must be masteredto give a satisfactory adjustment to the next level of life. He must have a satisfactoryresponse both with respect to his inner needs and as regards the outer social pressures, ifhe is to continue to develop to maturity. The young single adult’s tasks are all related in adevelopmental way-meaning that he must advance from one to the next for properdevelopment. Also, these tasks are interrelated. The emotional life of the young singleadult cannot be separated from his spiritual and mental development. The insights ofknowledge learned in one area of development must be correlated with skills he hopes tolearn in other areas.The leaders in the church must have insight into the problems or developmentaltasks of the young single adult. Problems can become the growing and cutting edge ofthis young person’s personality.I. A SEARCH FOR A NEW IDENTITYWhen the young single adult was a teenager, one of the basic mentaldevelopmental tasks facing him was finding an answer to the question, “Who am I?” Theemerging self-concept or ego was seeking a self-identification. The basic means wherebywe find out, “Who am I?” is through identification. Prior to puberty the child identifieswith his mother or father. The girl learns her feminine role in life by identifying with hermother and so the boy learns his masculine role by identifying with his father. Inconverse, the girl was oriented to the male role by relating to her father and the boy byrelating to his mother. Almost every child is the product of a home and as such identifieswithin the family relationship. Even though the young single adult doesn’t verbalize thedesire, he has perhaps had a life-long ambition to be married and participate in his ownfamily life. Now he finds himself unmarried and perhaps passing the age when most ofhis friends have gotten married.Martha has held three jobs since graduation from high school, four years ago. Shehas never been fired. She gets disgusted at her fellow employees or mad at her boss. Herdemands for fringe benefits are excessive and she abuses the absentee quota. Martha isimmature. Yet, the thing she wants most in life is a man-any male. She flirts with all themen in the office, married or not, and will date anyone who asks her.