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It seems that the head tilt has universal “friend” appeal throughout the animal kingdom. THE SMILE A smile is a powerful “friend” signal. Smiling faces are judged to be more attractive, more likable, and less dominant. A smile portrays confidence, happiness, and enthusiasm and, most important, signals acceptance. A smile telegraphs friendliness and increases the attractiveness of the person who is smiling. The mere act of smiling will put people in a better, more receptive mood. For the most part, people smile at individuals they like and do not smile at those they do not like. A smile releases endorphins, which give us a sense of well-being. When we smile at other people, it is very difficult for them not to smile back. This return smile causes the target of your smile to feel good about themselves, and, as we will learn in a later chapter, if you make people feel good about themselves, they will like you. The only problem with the smile is what scientists and observant members of the general population have long recognized: There is the “real” or “genuine” smile and then there is the “fake” or “forced” smile. The “real” smile is used around people we really want to make contact with or already know and like. The fake smile, on the other hand, is often used when we are forced by social obligation or the requirements of our job to appear friendly toward another individual or group.
Can you tell which smile is the “real” smile and which one is “fake”? If you can’t, don’t de-spair. Actually, they’re both real smiles! If you want people to like you, your smiles should be genuine. The telltale signs of a genuine smile are the upturned corners of the mouth and upward movement of the cheeks accompanied by wrinkling around the edges of the eyes. As opposed to sincere smiles, forced smiles tend to be lopsided. For right-handed people a forced smile tends to be stronger on the right side of the face, and for left-handed people, it tends to be stronger on the left. Fake smiles also lack synchrony. They begin later than real smiles and taper off in an irregular manner. With a real smile, the cheeks are raised, bagged skin forms under the eyes, crow’s feet appear around the corners of the eyes, and with some individuals, the nose may dip downward. In a fake smile, you can see that the corners of the mouth are not upturned and the cheeks are not uplifted to cause wrinkling around the eyes, the telltale sign of a genuine smile. Wrinkling around the eyes is often difficult to see in young people, whose skin is more elastic than older folks. Nonetheless, our brains can spot the difference between a real smile and a fake smile.
Page 2: Thank you for downloading this Touc
Page 5 and 6: To my wife, Helen, a woman overflow
Page 7 and 8: At first, I did not see this one-to
Page 9 and 10: 1 THE FRIENDSHIP FORMULA I’ve lea
Page 11 and 12: you and promotes mutual attraction.
Page 13 and 14: Once you know the basic elements of
Page 15 and 16: form a primacy filter through which
Page 17 and 18: attractive and successful in life,
Page 19 and 20: I once invited two students to the
Page 21 and 22: 2 GETTING NOTICED BEFORE A WORD IS
Page 24: A natural eyebrow flash. In real-li
Page 27: Head tilts Women tilt their heads m
Page 31 and 32: SMILES FOR EFFECT The way you smile
Page 33 and 34: feet he was used to seeing. The wom
Page 35 and 36: Isopraxism (mirroring) gestures Mir
Page 37 and 38: from when the stranger did the same
Page 39 and 40: Tip 6: Provide Good Service (Male a
Page 41 and 42: An eye roll EYE ROLLS Rolling your
Page 43 and 44: An Attack Stance INSULTING GESTURES
Page 45 and 46: WHO WAS THAT MASKED MAN? Although i
Page 47 and 48: together and socially interacting,
Page 49 and 50: process into high gear. Techniques
Page 51 and 52: duplicate the same sensation you fe
Page 53 and 54: confident that the other person is
Page 55 and 56: with their lives. The most difficul
Page 57 and 58: a defensive reaction. Further, Vick
Page 59 and 60: “through the grapevine.” The as
Page 61 and 62: Good old Ben Franklin, the guy on t
Page 63 and 64: “No problem, don’t worry about
Page 65 and 66: 4 THE LAWS OF ATTRACTION If you go
Page 67 and 68: By using an empathic statement, Bry
Page 69 and 70: the days when it was allowed (or to
Page 71 and 72: over time. To increase the longevit
Page 73 and 74: unattractive home. Their house beco
Page 75 and 76: THE LAW OF THE ROCKY ROAD When two
Page 77 and 78: introvert reverts to their “norma
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1. “If I’m Right, Then You’re
Page 81 and 82:
Listening is more than simply remai
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It turned out that one of the atten
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No one can read minds, but they can
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issues with, because his lips purse
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fingers, take note. Upon seeing thi
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ME (DEFENSE ATTORNEY): That’s not
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the military and is gone a lot of t
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The Empathic Statement is versatile
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Of course, the answer you want to h
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Getting people to like you, as we h
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Eventually, the suspect confessed h
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ack. Based on this gesture, the BAP
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Observe the hair flip carefully whe
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Individuals lean toward people or t
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Arm crossing provides a barrier. (T
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Cup movement helps you determine if
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Hair flip Bitch flip WHAT DO YOU SE
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How would you describe the way thes
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(Difficult question): Who has the u
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In a sense, there is little one can
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Reinforcement is the use of reward
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What’s the best way to make sure
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Try the “Big Three” Approach to
Page 128 and 129:
Presumptive statements direct angry
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• A divergence of interests. Indi
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Introverts disclose more informatio
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1. All mobile communication devices
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The young man was a star Notre Dame
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DAUGHTER: I spend two hours a night
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eally look. This pattern will not c
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technique to establish rapport. In
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In genuine relationships, people ar
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four every afternoon and eating str
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persuaded her that there was no hop
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apparent reason for that good feeli
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I would like to exp
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We hope you enjoyed reading this To
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Frank, M. G., Ekman, P., & Friesen,
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INDEX A note about the index: The p
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online, 213-14, 216, 231-34 scarcit
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insulting, 56 Glory enchilada, shar
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face-to-face interactions compared
Page 166 and 167:
Small of the back, touching, 164, 1
Page 168:
Touchstone A Division of Simon & Sc
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