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Furrowed eyebrows FACIAL TENSION Tightened jaw muscles, narrowing of the eyes, and furrowed eyebrows are a cluster of nonverbal foe signals that can be seen from a distance and serve as early warning indicators to alert you to the possibility that the person you are about to meet may pose a threat. Displaying foe signals makes meaningful communication difficult, especially in new relationships. Facial tension can be easily misinterpreted because people often carry over tensions from their jobs or home lives to social situations, causing new friends or even old ones to take note and become unnecessarily guarded and apprehensive. AGGRESSIVE STANCE A wide stance with arms akimbo (hands on hips) is a foe signal. A wide stance lowers the body’s center of gravity and is used by a person preparing for a fight. Arms akimbo widens a person’s profile in an attempt to display dominance. ATTACK SIGNALS People who are about to attack telegraph nonverbal signals such as clenching their fists and widening their stance for stability. A wide stance lowers the body’s center of gravity in preparation for a fight. A wide stance with arms akimbo (hands on hips) signals dominance. Arms akimbo widens a person’s profile in an attempt to display dominance. Oftentimes, an angry person’s nostrils “flare” (widen) in an attempt to enhance oxygen intake. They are also likely to give anger signs such as redness of the face. Obviously, these foe signals alert the scanning brain to potential danger and prepare the recipient of these attack signals for the “fight or flight” response, hardly a prelude to a positive friendship.
An Attack Stance INSULTING GESTURES Numerous gestures are offensive to others and antithetical to developing good relationships. Some of them are almost universally recognized: for example, the upraised middle finger. It is doubtful anyone intent on establishing a positive interaction with another person would transmit this gesture. The problem is that certain gestures that are “harmless” (have no negative connotation) in one culture might be highly offensive in another. Just as the same words have different meanings across different cultures, so, too, do nonverbal communications. If you note that somebody reacts negatively toward you for no “apparent” reason you might want to consider if any gesture you just made might have been perceived as offensive to them. SCRUNCHED NOSE Like other foe signals, a scrunched nose makes anyone observing it less likely to see you in a positive light and less open to any further overtures you send their way.
Page 2: Thank you for downloading this Touc
Page 5 and 6: To my wife, Helen, a woman overflow
Page 7 and 8: At first, I did not see this one-to
Page 9 and 10: 1 THE FRIENDSHIP FORMULA I’ve lea
Page 11 and 12: you and promotes mutual attraction.
Page 13 and 14: Once you know the basic elements of
Page 15 and 16: form a primacy filter through which
Page 17 and 18: attractive and successful in life,
Page 19 and 20: I once invited two students to the
Page 21 and 22: 2 GETTING NOTICED BEFORE A WORD IS
Page 24: A natural eyebrow flash. In real-li
Page 27 and 28: Head tilts Women tilt their heads m
Page 29 and 30: Can you tell which smile is the “
Page 31 and 32: SMILES FOR EFFECT The way you smile
Page 33 and 34: feet he was used to seeing. The wom
Page 35 and 36: Isopraxism (mirroring) gestures Mir
Page 37 and 38: from when the stranger did the same
Page 39 and 40: Tip 6: Provide Good Service (Male a
Page 41: An eye roll EYE ROLLS Rolling your
Page 45 and 46: WHO WAS THAT MASKED MAN? Although i
Page 47 and 48: together and socially interacting,
Page 49 and 50: process into high gear. Techniques
Page 51 and 52: duplicate the same sensation you fe
Page 53 and 54: confident that the other person is
Page 55 and 56: with their lives. The most difficul
Page 57 and 58: a defensive reaction. Further, Vick
Page 59 and 60: “through the grapevine.” The as
Page 61 and 62: Good old Ben Franklin, the guy on t
Page 63 and 64: “No problem, don’t worry about
Page 65 and 66: 4 THE LAWS OF ATTRACTION If you go
Page 67 and 68: By using an empathic statement, Bry
Page 69 and 70: the days when it was allowed (or to
Page 71 and 72: over time. To increase the longevit
Page 73 and 74: unattractive home. Their house beco
Page 75 and 76: THE LAW OF THE ROCKY ROAD When two
Page 77 and 78: introvert reverts to their “norma
Page 79 and 80: 1. “If I’m Right, Then You’re
Page 81 and 82: Listening is more than simply remai
Page 83 and 84: It turned out that one of the atten
Page 85 and 86: No one can read minds, but they can
Page 87 and 88: issues with, because his lips purse
Page 89 and 90: fingers, take note. Upon seeing thi
Page 91 and 92: ME (DEFENSE ATTORNEY): That’s not
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the military and is gone a lot of t
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The Empathic Statement is versatile
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Of course, the answer you want to h
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Getting people to like you, as we h
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Eventually, the suspect confessed h
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ack. Based on this gesture, the BAP
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Observe the hair flip carefully whe
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Individuals lean toward people or t
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Arm crossing provides a barrier. (T
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Cup movement helps you determine if
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Hair flip Bitch flip WHAT DO YOU SE
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How would you describe the way thes
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(Difficult question): Who has the u
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In a sense, there is little one can
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Reinforcement is the use of reward
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What’s the best way to make sure
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Try the “Big Three” Approach to
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Presumptive statements direct angry
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• A divergence of interests. Indi
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Introverts disclose more informatio
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1. All mobile communication devices
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The young man was a star Notre Dame
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DAUGHTER: I spend two hours a night
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eally look. This pattern will not c
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technique to establish rapport. In
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In genuine relationships, people ar
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four every afternoon and eating str
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persuaded her that there was no hop
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apparent reason for that good feeli
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I would like to exp
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We hope you enjoyed reading this To
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Frank, M. G., Ekman, P., & Friesen,
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INDEX A note about the index: The p
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online, 213-14, 216, 231-34 scarcit
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insulting, 56 Glory enchilada, shar
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face-to-face interactions compared
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Small of the back, touching, 164, 1
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Touchstone A Division of Simon & Sc
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