Slipstream - May 2011

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Cliff’s Ramblings By Cliff Blackshear Never Let A Porsche Technician Have Idle Time On Their Hands At Work Recently I went to Atlanta for Cayenne S Hybrid training. As always, we shared many stories when on break, at lunch, and of course, while having libations till all hours after class. The best topic of the week was techs with idle time on their hands. We mechanically minded guys usually start doing unusual things when we are idle and have so much equipment available around us to play with. Example: I once worked at a dealer that sold washer solvent in soft plastic containers. The container held 6 ounces of highly concentrated cleaner with an extremely high alcohol content. It had a twist off top that left a small hole to dispense the product with. When the bottle was empty you could lay it on the floor, hold a flame near the 2-3mm opening and whoosh, it took off like a rocket. Well of course that turned into a drag race activity. Complete with a finish line that had to be crossed and people timing each racer. Setting things on fire, making potato cannons, buying, modifying, and of course racing radio control cars, (lots of cheating goes on here). Radio control helicopters have become more popular. Building road courses, off-road courses (complete with water crossings) and the always popular, “Who can make the biggest flame thrower” is not uncommon. Take a ball bearing and wrap the outer race with friction tape. Use compressed air to spool it up to about 10,000 RPM then release on the floor. It will usually leap about ten feet forward 2-3 feet off the ground then take off for unknown parts at about sixty miles an hour. Spool the bearing up too high and it grenades into many metal parts flying around like bullets. It will typically go about a hundred yards when properly executed. This is one of my favorites. If air bags are sitting around waiting for disposal, this can be a major source of entertainment for us. Any replaced unit that has not been ignited has to be deployed as part of disposal process. Now here is an item with a lot of pentup energy just waiting to entertain an idle technician. If deployed face down it will launch about thirty feet into the air. The passenger side airbag is the best since it has dual ignition chambers. The ignition of one of these babies can be heard from half a mile away. They have been used to launch gallon bottles filled with water (complete of course with side betting as to how high it will go and what direction). Pouring a few drops of oil under an engine that has just been rebuilt then started for the first time while responsible technician is not looking happens quite often. Putting an extra bearing shell or piston ring near a near complete rebuild is another. Bending down by the right rear fender and waiting for a tech to start an engine he just spent sixty hours rebuilding and then knocking lightly on the fender can create interesting moments. You never know what you’ll find at one’s work station! Never give us idle time combined with energy sources. Compressed air, flammable liquids, flammable materials, welding equipment etc. are things we can be quite resourceful with. Don’t even get me started talking about alarm horns, batteries or tired electric motors. The possibilities are endless in a Porsche workshop. Cliff 14
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