Family Road Map Guide

Guiding Star Point Five:
Find SUPPORT
Coping with Crisis
Few experiences are as frightening for a parent as watching a child lose the ability
to function in everyday life. Sometimes you can see the clues that a crisis is
building. It might be the return of symptoms from a medical condition. It might be
a sharp increase in angry explosions, signs of substance (drug or alcohol) abuse,
or self-injuries that a child tries to hide. Yet suddenly, you may face an emergency
that seems to come from nowhere. Even a strong parent who has weathered many
storms can feel numb with shock, filled with rage, or helpless to meet this new
challenge. A terrible thing is happening to your family. If you are worn down by a
long period of living with your child’s symptoms, you may feel an overwhelming wish
to let somebody else take over. Yet now more than ever, your child or youth and
family will need you to stay strong. Here are some things families who have “been
there” think you should know:
1. This crisis will pass. It may sound totally obvious–but remembering this truth
can be a lifeline when things fall apart at your house. Like any event, crisis has
a beginning, a middle, and an end. Life may look somewhat different when it’s
over, but you and your family will get through the experience and go on.
2. The team needs you to be a full, equal partner. In a crisis, providers who
don’t know your child or youth will join the team. These people have never seen
your child look happy and don’t know anything about “The Big Picture.” The
action speeds up and members of the team may miss details that only you can
see. You will need to ask good questions and “pass the ball” so that everyone
gets the right information. Sometimes we feel like “It’s all going wrong, so I must
be doing it all wrong.” Not true. As long as you keep working with the team, you
are your child’s or youth’s best advocate.
3. You can’t do it alone. Feelings of guilt, shame, or anger about the crisis can
prevent a family from reaching out to others. Sometimes people who are close
to your family may not always understand what you’re going through. Still, part
of your job in this crisis is to find useful ways for relatives, friends, your faith
community, or others to support you. Don’t shut people out.
5
Crisis Language
A psychiatric crisis is a
situation in which someone
has a sudden, serious
change in behavior, with
overwhelming emotions and
thoughts that don’t make
sense to others; the person
plans or attempts to do
something that will cause
serious physical harm to
self or others. Look back at
Guiding Star Point Two for
signs that mean your child
or youth may be at risk of
suicide or violence. If your
child or youth seems to be in
immediate danger of serious
self-injury or violence toward
someone else, your FIRST
call should be to a youth
Specialized Crisis Services
number.
4. What you learn from this experience can help you head off the next
crisis or handle it more quickly. By paying attention to how the situation
began, ran its course, and was resolved, you can learn the signs of a developing
crisis and create a strategy to deal with the next one.
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