SLO LIFE Jun/Jul 2017

except for an occasional correspondence when I was younger. It was
very surface. When I was in the military I tracked down his phone
number and called him from the base one night. I said, “Hey, it’s
your son.” And he said, “Oh, hey, can you call me back? I’m having
dinner.” It was weird. I just remember thinking, “Dude, you have no
idea who I am.” I was young, kind of angry, kind of lost, and needing
some direction at that point. Looking back on it now, in retrospect,
I do think it helped shape me into who I am now as a responsible
older adult. But at the time, I’m trying to close the chapter. I needed
to see this guy face-to-face. He hasn’t had the nerve to meet me, so
I’m going to sneak up on him.
Whoa—that’s heavy. I tracked him down. I had a friend who was
living in Virginia at the time, which was the state that he was living
in. And I’m like, “Hey, can I fly out? Can I stay at your place? And
can you help me out with something?” She said, “Yeah, come on out.”
So, she picked me up from the airport. I stayed at her uncle’s house.
The next day, I called around to some of the restaurants to try to pick
out which one he’d be at. And I narrowed it down to one where he’d
most likely be working. It was Thanksgiving Day. We drive off to this
restaurant. It was about an hour away, and we pull into the parking
lot. I walk in and said, “Hi, can I please see so-and-so.” I didn’t know
if he’d be there or not. They’re like, “Yeah. Hold on.” The place was
packed. And, so I went and stood in the corner while the lady went
off to find him. Finally, this man walks up and says, “Can I help
you?” And I said, “Yeah, do you know a guy named Phillip Toriello,
by chance?” And he’s like, “Uh… yeah.” I’m like, “Well, I’m that guy.
How are you doing?”
Wow. And it just turned into a very weird interaction from there. It
was incredible. It was an incredible experience; one of which I’m really
happy I did. We agreed to go out to dinner the next night at some
beachside town. And it was just this really, really weird encounter. It
felt like a business meeting more than anything else. And it was at
that point I said to myself, “Alright. This is nothing. There’s nothing
here.” It was mind-blowing, such a confusing time for me. I was
hoping for more of an emotional connection. Maybe hoping to hear
him apologize for bailing, maybe something like, “I apologize for not
taking initiative more over these years, but I’m really glad that you
did. I’d really like to see this develop.” None of that happened. So, I
thought to myself, I’m just going to take advantage of the tab. Eat
steak and drink wine and call it a day; call it a job well done. Good for
Phill. And that was it.
Do you think that experience shaped you in some way? Yeah. One
hundred percent. That’s how I look back at my life now. I can’t be
angry about it, because everything that I’ve gone through has made
me who I am today. I think that’s contributed to a lot of what my
thing is with working with children. So, yeah, without a doubt,
it really was the groundwork for what I strive for now; providing
things that I wasn’t provided with, those things that I was missing
like respect, and listening, and sincerity, and guidance, and direction,
and integrity. If I didn’t have that experience would I still have the
same passion for teaching? Would I be able to contribute to San Luis
Obispo’s youth in the same way that I do now? Who knows? Nobody
really knows the answers. But, in thinking about where I am today—
it’s a good place. SLO LIFE
44 | SLO LIFE MAGAZINE | JUN/JUL 2017