The Star: August 09, 2018

The Star Latest Christchurch news at www.star.kiwi
Thursday August 9 2018 19
All Right?
Canterbury men are being asked to ditch the stereotypes
and just be themselves, as part of the All Right? Manly As
campaign this month. Brendon Kingi explains
I DON’T really consider myself being
that masculine. One way I consider
myself masculine is being a good dad,
hopefully, being a good dad. That to
me is probably the most male thing
that I can hope for.
I have quite a bit to
do with netball – coach,
play, umpire. My daughters
are pretty hard out
into it as well, so that
keeps me into it. I had
friends that were playing,
a mixed team and they
needed somebody else
to play to fill their team.
I loved it straight away.
I have been playing it
since I was 18 and now I
am 41.
I coach, umpire and ref for girls’
teams. I think the parents like the
idea of having a male coach sometimes,
because they are different. I
feel like I don’t have to be as aggressive
as some of the women are. I can
be a dude playing netball and they
see me as a coach figure anyway. The
women have to assert themselves, I
don’t have to do that as much. There
is so much drama on the sidelines
that our coaches have to deal with,
parents coming up to them and arguing
with them, that sort of stuff. I
never get that, I think because of the
way I look.
Having daughters, I don’t want my
girls to be worried about stereotypes.
It’s less about what guys need to do
to change, and more that I want my
girls’ ideas to change about what they
can do.
The main thing I would
like to see changed about
stereotypes of men, is
that you have to be an alpha
male in order to be a
man sort of thing. I don’t
see myself as an alpha
male at all, I don’t really
want to be an alpha male.
I would like to live in a
world where there are no
alpha males and women
can do everything that
men can do and not be
held back because they are females.
No, I don’t try to live up to a
stereotype. I don’t try and be what
other people expect me to be. I have
always been quite a big guy anyway,
so people tend not to try and bug me
about it.
I am obviously a dude. It comes
back to the whole thing where people
obviously see me as one way, I don’t
try and persuade them either way,
that’s just how I am. I don’t know,
people see me as a sort of macho
dude, okay call me a macho dude. I
don’t care, that’s just how it is for
me.
WE’VE ALL heard the
expressions – ‘harden up,’ ‘get
over it,’ ‘man up.’
While often said in jest or
as a bit of banter amongst
mates, the reality is the view
that ‘to “be a man” you need
to suppress how you feel,’ can
be incredibly damaging.
The latest All Right?
campaign directly challenges
some of the traditional Kiwi
bloke stereotypes. It encourages
men to just be themselves
– that’s Manly As.
We’re not saying that it’s
bad to be a strong, silent type.
What we’re saying is that if
this isn’t you, then that’s all
right. You don’t need to fit
into the mould. The modern
man doesn’t need to look,
sound or behave according
to those old stereotypes of
manliness.
The time has come to
change what we think ‘being
a man’ really is.
It’s time to move beyond
those narrow stereotypes
of the past, and look to the
future of manliness.
It’s time to celebrate traits
like being a great mate, who
you can talk to when things
aren’t going as well.
It’s time to say ‘yes’ to
things that we want to do but
we’re prevented from doing
because we’re worried if we’d
been seen as weak or different.
It’s time to acknowledge
that we have feelings and
emotions.
And it’s time to put as
much focus on growing
mental fitness as we do to our
physical fitness.
You don’t need abs of steel,
an obsession with sport, or a
fancy man cave to be a real
man. Being yourself is manly
as.
•To find out more visit
www.allright.org.nz/
ManlyAs
‘82 Rolls Royce Spirit
‘71 Ford Falcon XY
‘96 Alfa Romeo GTV
‘66 Jaguar MK X
Christchurch Online
Classic Car
Auction
Concludes Monday
August 13 th from 7.00pm
Great variety of Classics located at
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‘94 Holden Calais, ‘97 Commodore HSV Senator, ‘95 Commodore GTS HSV, ‘72 Chrysler Valiant S/W,
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Total of approximately 30 classics included in this online auction.
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‘06 Ford F350 Turbo Diesel
‘63 Austin Healey
‘76 Triumph Stag
‘93 Cortina Ghia
‘88 Ford Thunderbird
‘62 jaguar MK IX