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NEW<br />

SCCA ARE YOU PREPARED IF DISASTER STRIKES? EPAC<br />

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A FIRST HAND ALZHEIMER’S STORY<br />

LEARNING ABOUT MEDICATIONS THAT CAN<br />

MAKE A DIFFERENCE<br />

At the beginning, when Jerry began to lose his memory<br />

and his ability to think, he was terrified. He paced from his<br />

office to the kitchen and back again all day long. No matter<br />

how I tried, I could not comfort him. A nurse friend told me<br />

about a drug that would help this challenge. I got some of<br />

that med for him, and within days he was peaceful, joyful,<br />

and just plain okay. It was a miracle! That medication<br />

changed everything. It made it possible for me to care for<br />

him much longer in our home.<br />

I LOVED HIM TILL THE END<br />

By Renée Mollan-Masters<br />

One day I was driving home from town when I got so angry, I had to pull my<br />

car over to the side of the road because I couldn’t see straight. I was furious<br />

at my sick husband because I felt I had not signed up for what I was about to<br />

face. I felt like he was putting me in a position that was completely<br />

unreasonable and unfair. About three days later, I had another realization<br />

that changed everything. I remembered that my husband was my best friend,<br />

and that he had always stood by me no matter what, and in that moment, I<br />

decided that I just couldn’t abandon him in his darkest hour. And I knew he<br />

would have done the same for me.<br />

The moment I just described was three years into a ten-year journey with my<br />

husband, who had vascular dementia which is very similar to Alzheimer’s. I<br />

survived that experience, and I hope that what I share will inspire you and<br />

make your journey easier.<br />

WHO IS THE BEST CAREGIVER FOR YOUR LOVED ONE?<br />

I met a caregiver, towards the end of the time I cared of my husband, who<br />

told me something I should have learned in the beginning years. This<br />

caregiver told me that caring for a patient with any kind of dementia is not a<br />

job for one person. It takes many people to care for someone in this<br />

condition. I concur. As a wife wanting to be a good wife and friend, I took<br />

care of Jerry by myself much longer than I should have. Everyone has to find<br />

their own timing. When you place a loved one in a beautiful place that honors<br />

them, you are giving them a better life then you can give them on your own.<br />

It’s difficult to hear this, I know, but it’s important. You may not be your<br />

husband’s or wife’s best caregiver.<br />

Early on in our journey, I heard a statistic that most caregivers die before the<br />

person they are caring for dies. Why? Because the stress is tremendous. I<br />

made a commitment to myself that that wasn’t going to happen to me. So I<br />

looked for ways to support myself. Every morning I got up before my<br />

husband Jerry, and I spent no less than an hour with spirit. I wrote in my<br />

journal, I meditated, I listened to spirit and it fed me for the day. I also ended<br />

each day with spirit and I am convinced that this one thing made all the<br />

difference.<br />

As Jerry’s memory deteriorated, he began to perseverate.<br />

He would ask the same question again and again and<br />

again and would not remember the answer I had just given<br />

him. For example, in the morning he would greet me with,<br />

“What are we going to do today?” I would answer him and<br />

then a few seconds later he would ask again. I think this<br />

would have driven even a saint crazy. I learned to redirect<br />

him. I would give him something to eat, or I would put on a<br />

TV show that I knew he would enjoy. Sometimes I would fix<br />

him a cup of coffee and we would sit outside looking on our<br />

deck overlooking our forest. It didn’t really matter what I<br />

did. I just had to redirect his mind and he would stop.<br />

CAREGIVERS NEED BREAKS AND NURTURING<br />

TOO<br />

I took several trips without Jerry in order to give myself a<br />

break. I always left him with someone, which he resisted<br />

completely when I was around, but kindly accepted when I<br />

was not there. I did what I had to do to keep my husband<br />

safe, despite his protests.<br />

Don’t be surprised if your family members don’t understand<br />

what you are going through. They just can’t. They are not<br />

being insensitive, but unless you are in this experience or<br />

have had this experience, you can’t understand what it is<br />

really like. To lose the love of your life, inch-by-inch, is<br />

heart-wrenching.<br />

Towards the end, Jerry got Sundowners. I would describe<br />

Sundowners as hell. It begins at sundown and it makes the<br />

person act completely crazy. He would come into our<br />

bedroom at 3:00 a.m. in the morning and turn on the light<br />

and yell at me and ask why I was still in bed. I had to put a<br />

child gate at the foot of the stairs of our two-story home so<br />

that I could get some sleep. He would stand down below<br />

and yell up to me. If I ignored him, he would leave. He<br />

would take all the pots and pans out of every cupboard in<br />

the kitchen. He would tear his bed apart. He would move<br />

our furniture and plants around wildly and it usually took an<br />

hour each morning to get our house back in order.<br />

Fortunately, today there is a drug available that helps get<br />

rid of Sundowners.<br />

MAKING THE TRANSITION TO A FOSTER HOME<br />

Things had to get pretty bad for me before I would consider<br />

placing my husband in a home. One night he tried to throw<br />

me out of the house because he thought I was a burglar.<br />

He was going to the bathroom anywhere and everywhere.<br />

And one night I said to myself ‘this is not a way to live life.<br />

’<br />

I found a wonderful foster home that was like a man cave<br />

for my husband. The man running the home was an angel.<br />

I felt like I had died and gone to heaven finding such a<br />

wonderful place for Jerry. It was the best of everything.


BLESSINGS TO ALL THE CAREGIVERS AND<br />

ALL THOSE SUFFERING FROM ALZHEIMER'S.<br />

PEACE WITHIN<br />

Some of you may think that my experience of taking care of Jerry<br />

was horrible. It was difficult, but that challenge grew me. It forced<br />

me to find my peace within. It also forced me to ask for help, and I<br />

learned that help is always there when I ask for it.<br />

About six weeks before he passed away, I was sitting visiting with<br />

Jerry in his man cave bedroom, and I asked him if he loved me. He<br />

turned and looked at me and smiled and said, “I love you. And it<br />

isn’t even hard to do.” I will cherish this comment for the rest of my<br />

life. I know that love is greater than pain, and I feel honored to have<br />

taken this journey with the man I will love forever.<br />

MAKING THE TRANSITION TO A FOSTER HOME<br />

CONTINUED<br />

I visited Jerry every day for the first month and then less often later.<br />

The last time I took him out to a movie, he had forgotten how to sit. I<br />

almost didn’t get him in the seat in the theatre, and when we went<br />

back to the car he didn’t know how to get into the car. Fortunately, a<br />

wonderful couple came over to help me and the man picked Jerry up<br />

and put him in the car. I know that spirit was watching over us.<br />

Jerry with his granddaughter<br />

LIFE AFTER DEATH<br />

Jerry died peacefully nine months after I placed him in the man cave. I<br />

was happy for him when he passed. I was so glad he was out of that<br />

sickly mind and body. After he died, I decided that I was not going to<br />

sit around and wait for death. I had too much life left and I was going<br />

to live it fully.For inspiration, I took a Bene Brown class and she asked<br />

the question that if we died tomorrow what would we feel badly about<br />

that we had not done in our lifetimes. I knew what it was immediately.<br />

I knew that I wanted to write and produce films that inspired greatness<br />

in people. So I began writing a story called,<br />

“Peace Train, A Love Story.”<br />

The book has now been published internationally and a film is in the<br />

process of being produced. It is a story of old for all ages. Remember<br />

how we used to go to films and we would come out singing and<br />

dancing when it was over? Well this story will do just that for you. It<br />

was written to inspire, to leave you uplifted and hopeful. I hope you<br />

will read it and let me know if I was successful.<br />

Jerry was just starting to lose his memory<br />

AUTHOR’S NOTES:<br />

Renée Mollan-Masters was married to her husband Jerry for 30<br />

years. Jerry was sick for over one-third of their marriage. Renée is<br />

the best-selling author of the non-fiction book, “You Are Smarter<br />

Than You Think.” She has authored a new book, “Peace Train, A<br />

Love Story” and has written the movie, Peace Train. Renée will<br />

produce and co-direct her film in the coming year.<br />

www.PeaceTrainMovie.com. You can find out more about<br />

Author/Producer/Director Renée Mollan-Masters on social media<br />

@PeaceTrainMovie or contact her via email at: yastyt@mind.net.<br />

This was Jerry’s favorite place to sit<br />

Renee Today


JOIN OUR YOGA CLASS AND BE FLEXIBLE<br />

Meet our Yoga Class instructor Mickie Warner. Mickie will take<br />

you on a journey of increased flexibility by providing easy to<br />

follow yoga exercises to keep you moving. Just click on the<br />

video below and follow along.


STAY TUNED, VIDEO COMING SOON


FAS AFDE<br />

IMPORTANT


By Nellie Hathorn Owner of Acciptier Marketing & Social Media Company<br />

SOURCE: Lifetime<br />

Have you received random friend requests on<br />

Facebook from someone you don't recognize<br />

but their picture appears to look relatively<br />

harmless, possibly an attractive photo. You<br />

reach back into your brain trying to remember<br />

their name or place their face. Or have you<br />

received a duplicate friend request from a<br />

friend and you think to yourself, "Wait a<br />

minute, I'm already friends with them." Well,<br />

Facebook is plagued with this problem right<br />

now so here is what could be happening and a<br />

few things to do to protect your online<br />

privacy.<br />

You may receive a fake Facebook friend<br />

request for any number of reasons — some<br />

harmless, some malicious. The different types<br />

of people who send fake or malicious friend<br />

requests include: "Scammers" who might try<br />

accessing your friend list or your news feed. It<br />

could be an ex-spouse, ex-boyfriend,<br />

ex-girlfriend, or current spouse,... you get the<br />

idea. They could be testing your fidelity or<br />

checking to see if you respond to an attractive<br />

post. It could be a "catfisher." Someone<br />

posing behind an attractive profile looking for<br />

a love or friend connection. Facebookers<br />

beware.<br />

●<br />

●<br />

Did you receive a second request<br />

from someone you are already<br />

friends with? First thing, double check<br />

that you are indeed friends already. If<br />

so, then you know this second request<br />

is a fake profile. Now you can respond<br />

to the friend request. You can report<br />

the profile as a fake account. Click the<br />

3 little dots next to "message" on their<br />

profile page then click "Give feedback<br />

or report this profile." You can click<br />

"Fake Profile" or 'Pretending to be<br />

someone else." Whichever one<br />

coincides.<br />

Do you know the requester or have<br />

any friends in common? If your<br />

answer is "no," you have your first<br />

clue. If you can't recall meeting the<br />

person in real life or meeting through<br />

any mutual friends, then the friend<br />

request may have been sent to you<br />

under false pretenses. Check the<br />

person's friends list if it's viewable and<br />

click the mutual list to see if there is<br />

anyone you both know. If not, more<br />

than likely it's a scammer.


●<br />

●<br />

●<br />

Is the friend request from an attractive<br />

person of the opposite sex that you<br />

don't know? A guy who gets a random<br />

friend request from a beautiful woman he<br />

doesn't know should suspect a ruse. The<br />

same holds true for the ladies. A friend<br />

request with a picture of an attractive<br />

person posing provocatively is the bait<br />

often used by people who create fake<br />

friend requests. Many times I have seen<br />

men posing with a child, to look like<br />

single parent. They will have a child in a<br />

few of the minimal pictures that they<br />

post. This is to make them appear non<br />

threatening. Don't fall for this.<br />

Does the request come from a person<br />

with a limited Facebook<br />

history? Check out their Facebook<br />

timeline and history. If the person joined<br />

Facebook just a short time ago, this is<br />

another clue that the friend request is<br />

bogus. Most legitimate Facebook users<br />

have a long history on their timeline<br />

dating back several years. Fake profiles<br />

are often created hastily, and most<br />

profiles indicate when the person joined<br />

Facebook. If the requesters Facebook<br />

account and timeline were created<br />

recently, then the person is most likely<br />

trying to scam you.<br />

Does the person have an unusually<br />

small or large number of friends and<br />

are they all the same sex? Fictitious<br />

profiles may have an extremely small or<br />

impossibly large number of friends on<br />

their friends list. The reason? They have<br />

likely spent little effort setting up the<br />

fake profile, or they spammed a ton of<br />

friend requests out and received a ton of<br />

responses. Another clue is the sex of<br />

those on their friends list. Depending on<br />

who the person behind the fake profile is<br />

www.accipitermarketing.com<br />

●<br />

●<br />

●<br />

targeting, you will likely see friends<br />

that are predominantly of the opposite<br />

sex of the requester since that is likely<br />

who the person is targeting with the<br />

fake friend requests. If the request is<br />

from a lady targeting men, expect<br />

almost all men in the friends list,<br />

instead of a mix of men and women<br />

like you would expect from a real<br />

person. Sometimes these scammers are<br />

targeting the opposite for online<br />

relationships that may lead to<br />

scamming for money.<br />

Is there little personal content on<br />

their timeline? You likely won't see a<br />

lot of day-to-day activity on a fake<br />

profile because of the effort required<br />

to generate "real" content. You may<br />

see some pictures, perhaps some links,<br />

but you probably won't see a lot of<br />

location check-ins or status updates.<br />

This may or may not be true for<br />

scammers of the catfishing type, as<br />

they may spend a lot of time and effort<br />

making their online persona seem as<br />

real as possible.<br />

Next time you receive a random friend<br />

request, ask yourself these questions<br />

and use your answers to determine<br />

whether you have just spotted a fake<br />

friend request. Avoid the pitfalls, so<br />

when in doubt, the best action is not to<br />

accept the request.<br />

1. Perform a small privacy setting checkup.<br />

Start by setting the privacy of your friend list<br />

to either 'Private" or "Friends Only." Another<br />

recommended setting is also under Facebook<br />

privacy settings. Under "Who can send you<br />

friend requests?" set it "Friend of friends."<br />

This should help alleviate random requests.<br />

While under your privacy settings, I also<br />

recommend that you change your other<br />

settings to either "Only me," "Friends," or<br />

'Friends of friends." I don't recommend<br />

Public. This privacy setting tune up should<br />

help eliminate a lot of unwanted requests.


GOT A HALLOWEEN EVENT?<br />

CALL US AND WE WILL<br />

PUBLICISE IT!<br />

YOUR AD HERE<br />

Nellie Hathorn<br />

Social Media Expert<br />

Accipiter Marketing<br />

915-487-6423<br />

Temecula, CA<br />

We hope you find this information helpful. Have a great day!


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