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A FIRST HAND ALZHEIMER’S STORY
LEARNING ABOUT MEDICATIONS THAT CAN
MAKE A DIFFERENCE
At the beginning, when Jerry began to lose his memory
and his ability to think, he was terrified. He paced from his
office to the kitchen and back again all day long. No matter
how I tried, I could not comfort him. A nurse friend told me
about a drug that would help this challenge. I got some of
that med for him, and within days he was peaceful, joyful,
and just plain okay. It was a miracle! That medication
changed everything. It made it possible for me to care for
him much longer in our home.
I LOVED HIM TILL THE END
By Renée Mollan-Masters
One day I was driving home from town when I got so angry, I had to pull my
car over to the side of the road because I couldn’t see straight. I was furious
at my sick husband because I felt I had not signed up for what I was about to
face. I felt like he was putting me in a position that was completely
unreasonable and unfair. About three days later, I had another realization
that changed everything. I remembered that my husband was my best friend,
and that he had always stood by me no matter what, and in that moment, I
decided that I just couldn’t abandon him in his darkest hour. And I knew he
would have done the same for me.
The moment I just described was three years into a ten-year journey with my
husband, who had vascular dementia which is very similar to Alzheimer’s. I
survived that experience, and I hope that what I share will inspire you and
make your journey easier.
WHO IS THE BEST CAREGIVER FOR YOUR LOVED ONE?
I met a caregiver, towards the end of the time I cared of my husband, who
told me something I should have learned in the beginning years. This
caregiver told me that caring for a patient with any kind of dementia is not a
job for one person. It takes many people to care for someone in this
condition. I concur. As a wife wanting to be a good wife and friend, I took
care of Jerry by myself much longer than I should have. Everyone has to find
their own timing. When you place a loved one in a beautiful place that honors
them, you are giving them a better life then you can give them on your own.
It’s difficult to hear this, I know, but it’s important. You may not be your
husband’s or wife’s best caregiver.
Early on in our journey, I heard a statistic that most caregivers die before the
person they are caring for dies. Why? Because the stress is tremendous. I
made a commitment to myself that that wasn’t going to happen to me. So I
looked for ways to support myself. Every morning I got up before my
husband Jerry, and I spent no less than an hour with spirit. I wrote in my
journal, I meditated, I listened to spirit and it fed me for the day. I also ended
each day with spirit and I am convinced that this one thing made all the
difference.
As Jerry’s memory deteriorated, he began to perseverate.
He would ask the same question again and again and
again and would not remember the answer I had just given
him. For example, in the morning he would greet me with,
“What are we going to do today?” I would answer him and
then a few seconds later he would ask again. I think this
would have driven even a saint crazy. I learned to redirect
him. I would give him something to eat, or I would put on a
TV show that I knew he would enjoy. Sometimes I would fix
him a cup of coffee and we would sit outside looking on our
deck overlooking our forest. It didn’t really matter what I
did. I just had to redirect his mind and he would stop.
CAREGIVERS NEED BREAKS AND NURTURING
TOO
I took several trips without Jerry in order to give myself a
break. I always left him with someone, which he resisted
completely when I was around, but kindly accepted when I
was not there. I did what I had to do to keep my husband
safe, despite his protests.
Don’t be surprised if your family members don’t understand
what you are going through. They just can’t. They are not
being insensitive, but unless you are in this experience or
have had this experience, you can’t understand what it is
really like. To lose the love of your life, inch-by-inch, is
heart-wrenching.
Towards the end, Jerry got Sundowners. I would describe
Sundowners as hell. It begins at sundown and it makes the
person act completely crazy. He would come into our
bedroom at 3:00 a.m. in the morning and turn on the light
and yell at me and ask why I was still in bed. I had to put a
child gate at the foot of the stairs of our two-story home so
that I could get some sleep. He would stand down below
and yell up to me. If I ignored him, he would leave. He
would take all the pots and pans out of every cupboard in
the kitchen. He would tear his bed apart. He would move
our furniture and plants around wildly and it usually took an
hour each morning to get our house back in order.
Fortunately, today there is a drug available that helps get
rid of Sundowners.
MAKING THE TRANSITION TO A FOSTER HOME
Things had to get pretty bad for me before I would consider
placing my husband in a home. One night he tried to throw
me out of the house because he thought I was a burglar.
He was going to the bathroom anywhere and everywhere.
And one night I said to myself ‘this is not a way to live life.
’
I found a wonderful foster home that was like a man cave
for my husband. The man running the home was an angel.
I felt like I had died and gone to heaven finding such a
wonderful place for Jerry. It was the best of everything.

BLESSINGS TO ALL THE CAREGIVERS AND
ALL THOSE SUFFERING FROM ALZHEIMER'S.
PEACE WITHIN
Some of you may think that my experience of taking care of Jerry
was horrible. It was difficult, but that challenge grew me. It forced
me to find my peace within. It also forced me to ask for help, and I
learned that help is always there when I ask for it.
About six weeks before he passed away, I was sitting visiting with
Jerry in his man cave bedroom, and I asked him if he loved me. He
turned and looked at me and smiled and said, “I love you. And it
isn’t even hard to do.” I will cherish this comment for the rest of my
life. I know that love is greater than pain, and I feel honored to have
taken this journey with the man I will love forever.
MAKING THE TRANSITION TO A FOSTER HOME
CONTINUED
I visited Jerry every day for the first month and then less often later.
The last time I took him out to a movie, he had forgotten how to sit. I
almost didn’t get him in the seat in the theatre, and when we went
back to the car he didn’t know how to get into the car. Fortunately, a
wonderful couple came over to help me and the man picked Jerry up
and put him in the car. I know that spirit was watching over us.
Jerry with his granddaughter
LIFE AFTER DEATH
Jerry died peacefully nine months after I placed him in the man cave. I
was happy for him when he passed. I was so glad he was out of that
sickly mind and body. After he died, I decided that I was not going to
sit around and wait for death. I had too much life left and I was going
to live it fully.For inspiration, I took a Bene Brown class and she asked
the question that if we died tomorrow what would we feel badly about
that we had not done in our lifetimes. I knew what it was immediately.
I knew that I wanted to write and produce films that inspired greatness
in people. So I began writing a story called,
“Peace Train, A Love Story.”
The book has now been published internationally and a film is in the
process of being produced. It is a story of old for all ages. Remember
how we used to go to films and we would come out singing and
dancing when it was over? Well this story will do just that for you. It
was written to inspire, to leave you uplifted and hopeful. I hope you
will read it and let me know if I was successful.
Jerry was just starting to lose his memory
AUTHOR’S NOTES:
Renée Mollan-Masters was married to her husband Jerry for 30
years. Jerry was sick for over one-third of their marriage. Renée is
the best-selling author of the non-fiction book, “You Are Smarter
Than You Think.” She has authored a new book, “Peace Train, A
Love Story” and has written the movie, Peace Train. Renée will
produce and co-direct her film in the coming year.
www.PeaceTrainMovie.com. You can find out more about
Author/Producer/Director Renée Mollan-Masters on social media
@PeaceTrainMovie or contact her via email at: yastyt@mind.net.
This was Jerry’s favorite place to sit
Renee Today

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FAS AFDE
IMPORTANT

By Nellie Hathorn Owner of Acciptier Marketing & Social Media Company
SOURCE: Lifetime
Have you received random friend requests on
Facebook from someone you don't recognize
but their picture appears to look relatively
harmless, possibly an attractive photo. You
reach back into your brain trying to remember
their name or place their face. Or have you
received a duplicate friend request from a
friend and you think to yourself, "Wait a
minute, I'm already friends with them." Well,
Facebook is plagued with this problem right
now so here is what could be happening and a
few things to do to protect your online
privacy.
You may receive a fake Facebook friend
request for any number of reasons — some
harmless, some malicious. The different types
of people who send fake or malicious friend
requests include: "Scammers" who might try
accessing your friend list or your news feed. It
could be an ex-spouse, ex-boyfriend,
ex-girlfriend, or current spouse,... you get the
idea. They could be testing your fidelity or
checking to see if you respond to an attractive
post. It could be a "catfisher." Someone
posing behind an attractive profile looking for
a love or friend connection. Facebookers
beware.
●
●
Did you receive a second request
from someone you are already
friends with? First thing, double check
that you are indeed friends already. If
so, then you know this second request
is a fake profile. Now you can respond
to the friend request. You can report
the profile as a fake account. Click the
3 little dots next to "message" on their
profile page then click "Give feedback
or report this profile." You can click
"Fake Profile" or 'Pretending to be
someone else." Whichever one
coincides.
Do you know the requester or have
any friends in common? If your
answer is "no," you have your first
clue. If you can't recall meeting the
person in real life or meeting through
any mutual friends, then the friend
request may have been sent to you
under false pretenses. Check the
person's friends list if it's viewable and
click the mutual list to see if there is
anyone you both know. If not, more
than likely it's a scammer.

●
●
●
Is the friend request from an attractive
person of the opposite sex that you
don't know? A guy who gets a random
friend request from a beautiful woman he
doesn't know should suspect a ruse. The
same holds true for the ladies. A friend
request with a picture of an attractive
person posing provocatively is the bait
often used by people who create fake
friend requests. Many times I have seen
men posing with a child, to look like
single parent. They will have a child in a
few of the minimal pictures that they
post. This is to make them appear non
threatening. Don't fall for this.
Does the request come from a person
with a limited Facebook
history? Check out their Facebook
timeline and history. If the person joined
Facebook just a short time ago, this is
another clue that the friend request is
bogus. Most legitimate Facebook users
have a long history on their timeline
dating back several years. Fake profiles
are often created hastily, and most
profiles indicate when the person joined
Facebook. If the requesters Facebook
account and timeline were created
recently, then the person is most likely
trying to scam you.
Does the person have an unusually
small or large number of friends and
are they all the same sex? Fictitious
profiles may have an extremely small or
impossibly large number of friends on
their friends list. The reason? They have
likely spent little effort setting up the
fake profile, or they spammed a ton of
friend requests out and received a ton of
responses. Another clue is the sex of
those on their friends list. Depending on
who the person behind the fake profile is
www.accipitermarketing.com
●
●
●
targeting, you will likely see friends
that are predominantly of the opposite
sex of the requester since that is likely
who the person is targeting with the
fake friend requests. If the request is
from a lady targeting men, expect
almost all men in the friends list,
instead of a mix of men and women
like you would expect from a real
person. Sometimes these scammers are
targeting the opposite for online
relationships that may lead to
scamming for money.
Is there little personal content on
their timeline? You likely won't see a
lot of day-to-day activity on a fake
profile because of the effort required
to generate "real" content. You may
see some pictures, perhaps some links,
but you probably won't see a lot of
location check-ins or status updates.
This may or may not be true for
scammers of the catfishing type, as
they may spend a lot of time and effort
making their online persona seem as
real as possible.
Next time you receive a random friend
request, ask yourself these questions
and use your answers to determine
whether you have just spotted a fake
friend request. Avoid the pitfalls, so
when in doubt, the best action is not to
accept the request.
1. Perform a small privacy setting checkup.
Start by setting the privacy of your friend list
to either 'Private" or "Friends Only." Another
recommended setting is also under Facebook
privacy settings. Under "Who can send you
friend requests?" set it "Friend of friends."
This should help alleviate random requests.
While under your privacy settings, I also
recommend that you change your other
settings to either "Only me," "Friends," or
'Friends of friends." I don't recommend
Public. This privacy setting tune up should
help eliminate a lot of unwanted requests.

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Nellie Hathorn
Social Media Expert
Accipiter Marketing
915-487-6423
Temecula, CA
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