Grey Power November 2018

Leaving the world a little better than you found it
Diane Clare from Nelson became a Guardian Angel for
Starship, our national children’s hospital, several years
after her son passed away. She saw it as a way to create
a special legacy for him.
NZ GREYPOWER MAGAZINE » NOVEMBER 2018 47
Her son, Mark, was
born (in the UK)
with major heart
complications and following
surgery on his heart,
he was diagnosed with cerebral
palsy. There wasn’t
a specialist children’s hospital
nearby at the time, so
he was treated in the general
hospital.
Diane shares: “Mark
underwent surgery when
he was very tiny, just three
months old. It was a horrendous
experience. We
were told going into surgery
that he had an 85-90
percent chance of survival,
but they didn’t define what
‘survival’ meant.
“Not only were we dealing
with a severely handicapped
child, but also the
ignorance of the general
public at that time about
disabilities like his. It was,
physically and emotionally,
really tough.”
Sadly, Mark passed
away from bilateral pneumonia
at just three years
and five months old.
“At the time I couldn’t
make sense of it, though
it completely turned my
life around. It made me
rethink what I would do
with my career.
My partner and I and
our two other children
emigrated to New Zealand
in 1981 and then had another
child here. It was
a fresh start but I think
those early years took
their toll and we separated.
I then met my Kiwi
partner and I have become
a NZ citizen.
“Following my experience
I wanted to help
other families who were
coping with a child with
massive health problems,
being torn between
hospital and home life.
I helped other bereaved
parents and whanau before
becoming a clinical
psychologist.
“Over the years we
moved houses, and I updated
my Will. I was always
acutely aware of the
gap where Mark should
have been in family photos.
I sent a gift to the
Starship Foundation every
year on Mark’s birthday.
“I heard about the
Starship Guardian Angel
programme and talked it
over with my partner and
we agreed to go ahead. For
me it’s about making possible
some of the things
that weren’t, all those
years ago.
“What I love about
Starship is how it’s centred
around the care of children
and their families. I
was impressed by the really
personal things – the
way the environment is so
child and parent friendly.
The little things make a
big difference, such a contrast
from my experience
all those years ago.
“So my plan is paying
it forward to enable something
positive and hopeful
for someone else’s child
or grandchild. It makes
me feel good to know that
something is happening
down the track when I pass
away that will remember
Mark in a practical way.
It’s an uplifting idea that
something significant will
happen because of it.
“To anyone thinking
Diane Clare
about becoming a guardian
angel I would say you’ll
never regret it. It’s not going
to cost you a thing in
your lifetime. Do discuss
it with your family first
rather than this coming as
a complete surprise. It’s
totally up to you to make
that decision.”
The Starship Foundation
has some helpful
information around the
process:
If you have not yet
taken this step yourself,
you might wonder how
to go about it and what’s
involved. It’s much easier
than you might think.
We are also very mindful
that your loved ones must
come first.
Here’s our simple
three-step-guide:
Step One: talk to your
loved ones. Discuss your
plans with your family and
friends first. Tell them why
Starship is important to
you and why you want to
leave a gift to Starship in
your Will. Let them know
they will be taken care of
first and foremost so there
are no surprises when the
time comes.
Step Two: talk to your
solicitor. Call and tell them
you want to leave a gift to
Starship in your Will. They
will ask you what type of
gift you want to leave and
talk you through the options.
If you already have
a Will you can easily add
a codicil (an amendment).
If you don’t, they can prepare
one for you.
Step Three: talk to us.
Letting us know of your
intentions will help us to
thank you and share with
you the impact that your
gift will have. And you will
automatically become one
of our valued Guardian
Angels – a very special
group of people who have
pledged to look after the
health and wellbeing of
future generations of children.
If you’re interested in
leaving a gift to Starship
in your Will or becoming
a Guardian Angel, please
contact our Bequest Liaison
Karen Blake for a confidential
discussion. Phone:
09 375 3466, Mobile: 021
376 4211; email: kblake@
adhb.govt.nz. We’d love to
hear from you.