WCA NEWSLETTER No 167 February 2019

Richard’s Ramblings
TEN THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR ON THE ROADS
A Light Hearted Look at Today's Driving
1) Landrover: Intended for use by farmers and landowners. Usually followed by clouds of
smoke. Is riveted together. Generally available in olive green but now turns up in several
more cheerful colours. Has a certain "Cult" following. Can be found outside village pubs
and usually contains a sheepdog and maybe a loaded 12 bore shotgun. Rarely seen
where they should be, in farmers fields.
2) Landrover Discovery: An upmarket version of the above. Is usually spotless inside
and out. Capable of insane speeds but is never seen off road in fact is never driven
anywhere near a muddy verge. Can often be found unattended on the yellow zig-zag
markings outside schools or on double yellow lines. Quite often seen on the hard
shoulder, immobile due to electrical problems.
3) Ford Focus: A mass produced car which can be found just about anywhere. Some
models are getting quite old so are within the financial reach of younger, faster people.
4) BMW: Keep well clear of anything wearing the BMW badge. They are quick, quiet and
seem not to be fitted with indicators. They have a bad reputation, being the preferred
transport for those dealing in illegal substances. Keep an eye on the mirror for one
finished in stealth grey. It may be a police car.
5) Audi: Avoid these as if the devil himself were driving. Most Audi drivers consider their
car to be a weapon rather than a means of transport.
If you see a blur in the outside lane of any motorway, its an Audi.
6) Datsun (Pick up truck): Not many left on the UK's roads. Mostly now to be found in
any middle-east conflict zone, well overloaded with AK47 wielding terrorists firing their
weapons in any direction.
7) Maserati of any model: Jeremy Clarkson's car possibly.
8) Marked Police Car by Vauxhall or Ford: Usually has a reasonable turn of speed for
an adapted family saloon and unless driven by a PCSO is often driven in accordance
with the Highway Code. Avoid exceeding the speed limit with one of these visible in the
mirror.
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& Property Maintenance
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including Maintenance, Improvements,
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Fully insured
Call 0797 714 8298
or 0772 132 7684
iahisted@btinternet.com
9) Marked and Unmarked Traffic Patrol Cars:
These are actually driven by some of the best
drivers on the roads but they are after your
licence so when you see or suspect one keep
a low profile.
10) Bus or Coach: Very big but slow. The
driver generally knows what he or she is
doing but has a time limit between stops and
must keep to it. These vehicles are capable
of doing enormous damage to your car or
bike so keep at least half a mile away from
them if possible; the bus driver will have
many witnesses.
No offence intended.
All the best. Richard
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