Out and About STYLE Magazine

Childless women can easily afford chances to find
out the good, the bad, the unique and the weird
(and so on) about themselves. They can uncover all
those things, laid bare, before their eyes and get
to know their strengths and weaknesses.
Being childless is about discovering the person
and reasons you are that person. And you have all
the opportunities and time in the world to iron out
any creases.
Who knows? This new person who is super sure of
herself and her abilities might have a chance at a
new relationship. Getting to know who you are can
really help before you enter a new relationship.
2) Unseen opportunities
“I am 44, married with no children by choice. I adore
other people’s children (including my now two adult
stepsons) and have many god-children, but I never
thought of having my own. I love my work, I finally got
to have my own business when I was 41 and it is takes
almost all of my time. I love the fact that I have freedom
(at least in theory) about decisions in my life and that I
am almost only responsible for myself (and four cats).
(Husband does not count as responsibility). Sometimes
it has crossed my mind will I regret this decision when I
am old, but I don’t think that is a good reason to change
a life I enjoy as it is! I have also seen many friends have
children with the wrong men and their life not really
turning better afterwards. And if someone asks me
what is the best thing I have done for our planet, I can
cheekily answer that I have decided not to populate it
with more people!”
- Katia, aged 44
Have you thought of the sacrifices a mother has
to make? Her mind is constantly overrun with
worries about running a family, taking care of all
its members, the finances, juggling jobs and a
home life and throwing in drama from extended
relatives. There is a lot of stressors that she has and
you don’t.
This could be a blessing in disguise. You can use
your energy positively by volunteering in the
community, or if you enjoy being around children,
can try tutoring or babysitting them.
3) Growing in confidence and learning to love
yourself
Being childless over 40, you can further develop
the talents and skills which you might not have
given much attention to before. Plus, you can learn
new ways of doing things and adapting to any
change. Share your skills and make new friends.
Growing old alone can raise doubts about dependency
and health struggles. But remember, there are many
in the world who have chosen this same path. Talk to
them, find networks that host childless women, talk
to employers who are pro-women and communities
that support the growth of individuality.
Childlessness is a chance to love yourself more. In time,
you realise that you have so much power in you that all
you need to rely on is ultimately “you.”
Also, you cannot purely love anyone who would enter
your life if you were shaken by regret and lack of selfconfidence.
You have to live by and love yourself first,
no matter what your future decisions may be.
Besides, having a child does not guarantee happiness
because happiness is a choice. It’s in your hands, not in
someone else’s pocket. Never underestimate your value
as a woman just because you’re childless.
FINAL THOUGHTS
It is a shame that society views mothering a child to be
the best part of a woman’s life. But you cannot change
the world - all you can change is yourself and how you
view it.
So instead of weeping, feeling discontent and taking
the societal pressures on for being childless at 40+,
embrace your life! Use your time to grow and develop
and not be caged by the expectations of others.
Remember that every woman is unique and so are you
and your situation.
The golden words to engrave in your mind are –
you have you and that’s all you will ever need.
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