CCChat-Magazine_Issue-15

You may need to re-establish a sense of
safety as you approach reconnecting
with others. Now there is the capacity
to revisit old hopes and dreams.
This is an opportunity to create a new
self. Letting go and forgiving yourself
even if you had no control over the
event is possible at this time. The
positive aspects of yourself can be
embraced now. They become
incorporated into your new self.
Stage 3: Reconnection
In the 2nd stage you will have
mourned the old self that the trauma
destroyed. This stage is about
developing a new self. The goal is to
emerge with a sense of empowerment
and reconnection.
The old beliefs that gave meaning to
your life have been challenged and you
must now develop new relationships.
It is important during this final stage
that you devote time and energy to
taking care of yourself. According to
Herman, this means taking care of
your body, your environment, your
material needs, and your relationships
with others. food, body, peace.
In this process you may revisit some
issues related to safety that you did in
the first stage.
In Stage 3 of recovery you focus on
issues of identity and intimacy. The
trauma should have receded to the
past and there will likely not be the
barriers to intimacy that were there in
the past but it's important to
understand that recovery may not be
100% complete. Under stress, old
memories and symptoms may recur
but putting in place the strategies you
have learned can help you stay within
your 'Window of Tolerance'.
During such a time, it may be a good
time to reconnect with your therapist,
to both check in and practice the
coping strategies you have both put in
place, as a prevention, to help you to
focus on the present and the future
without being controlled by the past.
Trauma and Recovery: The
Aftermath of Violence- From
Domestic Abuse to Political
Terror
by Judith Herman, M.D.
available as a book and an audiobook.
Making The Invisible Visible