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By Guernsey Gwen
with help from 3 rd Guernsey Cubs
Nano-occupation of the Crownvirus 2020
Introduction
Pouques are members of the fairy folk in the Channel Islands. Each island has its
own colony of pouques who like to live underground. They are very tiny, about
the size of toddlers, and like to wear hats and green clothes.
Only children can see and hear pouques. These fairy folk are quite mischievous,
but they do have a kind heart. If you ask them their name, they will always say
“P’tit Jean”, as they will never tell a human their real name.
Pouques are shape shifters and can change into animals and rocks. However,
when they change shape, adults can see them. The things they change into are
often coloured with green or orange fur or feathers, which is a big clue that
you’re looking at a pouque.
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The fairy folk of Guernsey had been recovering from a sickness PV-20, and had
just started to go out and about, when all the Humans started falling ill. The
pouques had been sent a message to say that Gran’mère was livestreaming
information on the pouques’ Facebook page. They all joined the stream and
watched. A text was also sent to all their mobile phones.
Once again, the Humans on the island of Guernsey are
experiencing worrying times.
Their parents, grandparents, and great grandparents underwent
a loss of freedom which, in a way, is a little similar to what is
happening with the tiny virus or nano-occupation that we are
finding ourselves in today. In 1940, those Humans bravely
worked together to protect each other, and they survived the
war. They would be so proud of the humans today, that
Guernsey stubborn spirit has risen again, with a caring
community who are not hesitating to look out for other Humans.
The Human leaders in charge of the island are having to make
hard, difficult decisions to keep the people safe.
As you know, our recent pouque virus, PV-20, meant that we,
the fairy folk of this island, were locked down for a whole two
months. It was only now we have witch Guernsey Gill’s potion,
that we have all taken to stop us getting the virus that we can
resume normal life. Now this new COVID-19 is happening to the
Humans of Guernsey, and they have lost their freedom too. I
know that their resilience will help to see them through these
hard times.
The occupation ended 75 years ago, and during that time the
fairy folk of the island helped to keep the Humans safe. It is now
time to do that again. I am so proud of you, my fairy folk; I know
that you will not hesitate to pull out all the stops to help this
island community, looking out for them, and doing what you can
to keep the Humans safe in these difficult times.
March 2020
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P’tite Jeanne and P’tit Jean looked at each other once the message had been
delivered.
“Those poor humans,” said P’tit Jean to his sister sadly, “we’ve had a really
horrible time and now it’s their turn.”
The two pouques were quite concerned about the Robilliard children that they
often had adventures with, so they decided to visit them to check that they were
OK.
Now, fairy sickness does not affect humans, so it was safe for them to help out.
They took with them some very special alcohol gel that Grande Mabelle and
Grand Colin had made for the fairy folk to rub on their hands when they were ill
and had the virus. It was a very strong gel. Vraic (seaweed) had been gathered
from the seashore and potatoes had been fermented to make the alcohol to go
into the gel. The boiled seaweed was very pongy, but the fairy folk couldn't work
out how to get rid of the smell and had just had to put up with it during their
isolation, mainly by taking it in turns to stand upwind, away from each other.
All the humans had to stay in their houses and were only allowed out to do some
essential shopping and to get some exercise. The sickness was spreading
through all the population and it made old people, and those who were already
sick, have problems with their breathing, and sadly some of them had already
died. By staying in their houses, the sickness would not be able to spread as
much through the human population. This was called lockdown. Anyone who
did go out had to stay two metres away from any other humans. This was called
social distancing.
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The two pouques each changed into a P’tite Maoue (seagull) and flew to Sammy
and Jacob’s house. The two birds perched on the window of Sammy’s room and
tapped with their beaks.
Picture drawn during lockdown by Sami-3 rd Guernsey Cubs
Sammy saw them and came across to open the window. Unfortunately, P’tit
Jean Maoue didn't move out of the way in time, and when Sammy flung the
window open, he fell off into the prickly bush below. Both Sammy and P’tite
Jeanne laughed. A very annoyed P’tit Jean flew back up and squawked every
time he picked a prickle out of himself.
The pouques asked Sammy how the family were. She told them that they were
not allowed to go to school, so they were doing projects at home using online
learning on the computer. The children said that it was OK, but that they missed
playing with their friends.
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“What project are you doing now, then?” asked the pouques.
Sammy smiled. “Wait there,” she said, “and I will go and get it.”
She brought back a big scrap book and the two pouques peered inside. They had
changed back into their normal pouque appearance and were sitting on the
window seat.
“Hey, that‘s me!” cried P’tite Jeanne when she saw the drawing.
“Am I in there too? asked P’tit Jean.
“Yes, look!” said Sammy. P’tit Jean was very annoyed when he saw the picture.
“That's not fair!” he said, grumpily, “P’tite Jeanne has a really nice portrait of
her, and I get a picture with a bare bum.”
P’tite Jeanne laughed at her brother. Sammy had written all about their holiday
on Alderney when the naughty pouques had destroyed the sea wall. P’tit Jean
had been found sleeping on the railway line as a rock, with his trousers hanging
on a nearby tree.
“Oh, don't get into a grump,” said Sammy, “look, here is a nice picture that Jacob
drew of you.” P’tit Jean looked at picture and smiled.
The pouques then asked about other members of the family.
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“Is everyone else alright? What about your parents, grandparents, and great
grandma Betty?”
“The old people all have to shield themselves,” said Jacob, who had now joined
Sammy.
“What’s that?” asked P’tit Jean.
“They are not allowed out of their homes. My mum is doing all their shopping
for them and then leaving it at the door. We talk to them using the video over
the computer.”
P’tite Jeanne presented the children with the fairy folk vraic gel.
“Wow!” said Sammy, “you can’t buy alcohol gel anywhere now.” She opened
the lid and squeezed some out, before choking. “Errg, what a horrible smell. It
reeks.”
“It’s good stuff,” said P’tite Jeanne, “it’s Grande pouque Mabelle’s recipe. She
and Grand Colin made loads of it. It kills the virus and guarantees everyone will
keep well clear of you. We can bring some more if you like.”
The children wrinkled up their noses. It smelt like rotting fish. They shook their
heads and politely said no.
The pouque maoues flew off. It was very strange to see Guernsey so deserted.
The shops were closed on the high street and even though it was a beautiful
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warm day and the tide was out, no one was on the beaches. The maoues were
a bit disappointed that there was no one to poop on.
“Oh look, an empty bus travelling along the seafront.” P’tit Jean was quite
excited. “Come on, let’s use the bus as target practice.”
The two pouque maoues took it in turns to annoy the bus driver and fire poop
at the windscreen. The annoyed bus driver stopped the empty bus, waved his
hands and shouted at the birds. They both squawked a laugh and flew off. The
bus driver washed his windscreen and thought to himself that this was the most
excitement he had had all day. No humans were using the buses in the lockdown
except those who worked at the hospitals to make people better. The key
worker humans who were needed to make sure that there was electricity for
the homes and food in the shops mostly travelled by car. The bus driver felt like
a ghost driver, driving round the island with no people on board and hardly any
traffic on the roads.
The pouques looked at each other as they flew over the empty island and
wondered how they could help. They remembered what Sammy had said about
the shortage of alcohol gel and decided to go and get their leftover supplies to
give to the humans. As they were flying across the island with the gel, P’tit Jean
spotted a factory.
“Look, he pointed, “that says Guernsey Seaweed Company. Perhaps we can
leave it there. They will know what to do with it.”
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The two pouques arrived at the big seaweed shed. They flew in through a gap in
the roof, put their vraic gel on the bench, and explored the factory. It wasn’t
long before they heard noises and a key in the door. They changed into green
and orange cats and padded towards the door, ready to slip out unnoticed. As
the door opened, the humans walked in, followed by a vicious looking ginger
cat, that immediately saw the pouques and hissed, its back arched and its tail
erect and shivering. Before the pouques had chance to do anything, the cat leapt
at them and the two humans grabbed them. The pouque cats froze. However,
the two humans carefully put them outside and P’tit Jean and P’tite Jeanne
quickly ran off, followed by the glare of the ginger cat. As the humans walked
towards the bench, they noticed the fairy vraic gel.
“What’s this?” the manager, Ben, asked and picked up a little bottle containing
a dark green gloopy liquid.
He opened it up and squirted a bit out. They both gasped and wrinkled their
noses, whilst the ginger cat meowed in horror and ran away to the back of the
shed.
“Phew, what a horrible smell. I wonder what’s in it?” asked Ben.
The other human, who was a scientist, took the gel and put a bit into a machine
that would tell her the ingredients.
“Oh look!” she said, “it’s an alcohol gel made of seaweed.” She pointed to a peak
on the graph. “That’s the chemical that’s the causing the smell, but I know how
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to remove it.” The scientist turned to the manager. “We could make this for the
people of Guernsey to protect them, but how are we going to get the alcohol?”
“I know just the man,” said Ben, and he picked up his phone to call his friend,
the local gin distiller. “Luke, is that you? I have got a really good idea about how
you can use your distillery to help out.”
Picture drawn during lockdown by Tom-3 rd Guernsey cubs
Now children, I interrupt the story at this point to tell you that this special vraic
gel is now available on the island. It is being given out by St John Ambulance to
the people on the island who need it to keep safe in their jobs. Ben, from the
Guernsey Seaweed company worked out how to make it without the smell, and
Luke from the Guernsey Gin company provided the alcohol. When the pouques
found out that it was on sale they went and posed for the publicity photos. No
one from the Bailiwick press or ITV saw the pouques of course, but if you have a
look through the special pouque-cam, you can see them.
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Seaweed Ben posing at the press briefing.
Let’s continue on with the story:
The maoues were flying back to their home after they had visited the Guernsey
seaweed shed, and they saw some humans delivering shopping for the old and
the sick.
“Humans aren’t that bad,” smiled P’tit Jean, “they can be quite kind to each
other.”
The maoues went a little closer to see what the humans were doing.
“Hey look!” said P’tite Jeanne, in a puzzled voice, “What are those tiny little balls
with crowns on coming out of that human’s mouth?
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They watched as one of the sick humans came to the door to collect her
shopping. The little crown balls were being breathed out by the sick person. The
birds looked around them and realised that some of the non-sick people on the
street were also breathing out the same balls. They flew to the hospital and
looked through the window. The air was full of the same little balls from the sick
people on the wards.
The pouques looked at each other in amazement – they realised that they could
see which humans had the sickness because those humans were breathing out
the little crown balls. They knew how important this was and headed back to tell
Sammy and Jacob. They explained to her what they could see. Sammy excitedly
told her mother.
“Now dear, don't be silly,” said her mother, “nobody can see the virus germs
which cause the sickness, because they’re just too small.”
The two children were horrified and wondered what to do. The adults didn't
believe them.
“I know,” said Sammy, “we’ll write you some notes to drop for the people who
look perfectly well but have the sickness.”
The two children wrote lots of little notes and gave them to the pouques in a
small bag. The pouque maoues spent the rest of the day flying around the island
checking people who were on the street or in their garden and they dropped a
note next to anyone who had the sickness.
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They waited for the workers from the hospital to come out and also dropped
notes there.
Drawn during lockdown by Thomas-3 rd Guernsey Cubs
The humans were surprised to get a note but as they were scared of the sickness,
everyone did ask the medical laboratory to be tested. The island had its own
testing lab, so it was able to cope with these new requests. The authorities were
amazed that all these people with little notes had tested positive. They put an
appeal out on the radio for the person who was dropping the notes. Sammy and
Jacob told their parents what they had done and repeated the story about the
birds.
The authorities were very excited to hear this, and they knew that some animals
had much more sensitive smell or hearing than humans. They wanted to know
where to find the birds. Sammy and Jacob wondered how to contact the
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pouques. There was no need - the two pouques had heard were waiting for
them in Sammy’s bedroom. The children told them all about the news.
“Why don't you poop on someone who is breathing out the sickness” said
Sammy, then we don't need to write notes. Can you get all your pouque friends
to help?”
P’tit Jean and P’tite Jeanne flew back to the colony and explained to the Grande
pouques about the request from the humans. All Guernsey pouques from every
corner of the island were called to help out.
The person in charge of the states, Deputy Gavin and the Chief doctor, the
Director of Public health, Dr Nicola, immediately scheduled a live streaming. All
the humans got an urgent text message on their phones to watch it. Deputy
Gavin told every person to either go out in their garden or put their head out of
a window at 8pm each evening. Doctor Nicola explained that when the flock of
seagulls flew by, anyone who was pooped on had to immediately self-isolate
and go and get tested. Grand Colin and P’tite Jean decided that they would also
like to be present at the briefing as they felt that they were the important fairy
folk that made this happen. The humans didn't know they were there, but all
the children did. The giggled when they saw the pouques sitting on the table
next to the important people, much to the puzzlement of their parents.
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Deputy Gavin and Doctor Nicola at the live States streaming on Facebook,
joined by P’tit Jean and P’tite Jeanne.
The pouques went on crown ball patrol that very evening. In the following week,
it did not take long at all for the sick humans on Guernsey to be thoroughly
coated in pouque seagull poop.
Picture drawn during lockdown by Finlay-3 rd Guernsey Cubs
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Everyone was very keen to avoid being pooped on, and people became much
better at keeping themselves isolated. This meant people stopped passing on
the virus between them, and as soon as those people who already had the virus
became better and were no longer infecting others and everyone was free to go
outside again, with no more worries about being plastered by poop. Within two
weeks they were able to open all the schools and tell the people that they could
once again go out and about without worrying because now they knew exactly
who had the sickness, they could keep it from spreading.
Guernsey pouques are part of the Celtic fairy folk so as well as the pouques on
the other islands, they contacted the following fairy folks:
Irish Leprechaun Welsh Dragons Isle of Man Mooninjer veggey,
Cornish Piskie Scottish Ghillie Dhu English Faerie
With instructions from the Guernsey pouques, all the fairy folk got to work
across the UK, it’s nations and islands, and soon everyone who was sick with the
disease was identified and was able to self-isolate so that they did not spread it.
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And that is the happy ending to our story of how the pouques helped not only
the Humans on Guernsey defeat the sickness called the crown virus
(coronavirus) in 2020, but in fact the whole of the United Kingdom and its
islands.
THE END
This picture was drawn during lockdown 2020 by Cody - 3 rd Guernsey Cubs. Cody has drawn a
picture board of the whole story. He says look for the ginger cat, people delivering food, people
running too far when they are not supposed to, the empty bus and the closed school, the
hospital full of patients with the virus and the people waiting to be tested and set free by the
seagull poop.
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