June 2020 FRC Member Newsletter

Another thing I did was to identify actual facts to replace my false thought that what was written
was true. As I mentioned above, I did call my trainer and make sure she didn’t think I was ruining
my lovely mare. (She helpfully pointed out that were I doing so, she’d dump me every day of the
week.) I used that evidence to create a more likely thought that, although I’m not perfect, I’m not
actually ruining my horse.
Even if the statements or bullying behavior are false, remember that they still hurt. It is never
wrong to reach out to friends, to surround yourself with strong, positive people who understand
you. You are not weak for doing so—you need to process this sort of event. It helps to talk about
your feelings, and if your distress is enough, even consider talking to a counsellor or therapist.
Finally, I suggest making others feel good as a really good way to ease your own bruised soul. I
promptly went to a clinic, watched amazing riders and horses, and told them all how great they
were. I helped a friend braid for a show, and I brought beer for the barn manager. Kindness is
necessary, and wonderful. That brings me to the moral of this story: For the love of all the ponies,
people: be nice to each other. We only have so much time on this earth; let’s fill that time with love
for each other and our horses.
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