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<strong>Fusion</strong> self-<strong>love</strong>!<br />

Dead ponzi<br />

schemer’s $12m<br />

bankruptcy<br />

FRANK BY NAME, FRANK BY NATURE<br />

ISSUE 599 GOOD TIL DECEMBER 7, 2010 $3.00<br />

Inside Peter’s private sector talks!<br />

HEARTACHE FOR PETER<br />

MacKAY’S CHIEF OF STAFF!<br />

John MacDonell & Barb<br />

Stegemann in happier times.<br />

�Holiday<br />

subscription<br />

special<br />

$44.95


TWEETS OF THE WEEK<br />

Follow Frank on Twitter at www.twitter.com/Atlantic_Frank. Because you never know when<br />

Frank may be watching.<br />

� � �<br />

� V. sorry to hear about the Remembrance<br />

Day blaze that has led to the temporary closure<br />

of Frank’s flagship retailer in Lockeport. Word<br />

has it the Lockeport Pharmacy conflagration<br />

was sparked by a pop cooler located near the<br />

front of the store.<br />

Owners Bevin Joudrie and his pharmacist<br />

wiferoo Tatum have temporarily set up shop in<br />

the Masonic building near the Town Hall.<br />

(Tweeted Nov. 19)<br />

� Dal Nursing grad, Karla (Malloy)<br />

Swansburg, the Surf Lodge Nursing Home<br />

admin who previously toiled as the Director of<br />

Nursing at Spryfield’s Glades Lodge, is expecting<br />

her first child, a boy, later this month.<br />

She and hubby Robert Swansburg tied the<br />

knot earlier this year. (Tweeted Nov. 19)<br />

� Former Barrister’s Society prez Ron<br />

MacDonald, the ex-Antigonish prosecutor<br />

who four years ago was physically taken down<br />

by shackled perp Victor Rhyno during a Sheet<br />

Harbour court proceeding (Frank 479), has been<br />

elected president of the Federation of Law<br />

Societies for Canada. The FSLC is the national<br />

co-ordinating body of the country’s 14<br />

mandated law societies. (Tweeted Nov. 19)<br />

� Greasy Gary<br />

Tredwell is back<br />

doing his thing on<br />

Q104. Gary’s photo,<br />

lifted from BevBoy’s<br />

Blog, ran in Frank<br />

597. (Tweeted Nov.<br />

19)<br />

� MLA per diem cuts<br />

taking their toll: Manning<br />

“Porker”<br />

MacDonald places<br />

his order at KFC in<br />

Scotia Square.<br />

(Tweeted Nov. 17)<br />

� Today is<br />

allNovaScotia.com<br />

ace reporter Andrew<br />

Macdonald’s<br />

43rd b-day!!<br />

(Tweeted Nov. 17)<br />

Greasy Gary<br />

Manning MacDonald<br />

2 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010<br />

� Absurd sight of the week: two men, dangling<br />

10 floors up on the 1801 Hollis skyscraper,<br />

washing windows in the rain. (Tweeted Nov.<br />

17)<br />

� As I write this,<br />

Cyril Lunney is<br />

receiving a prostate<br />

exam live on<br />

BT. This is me raising<br />

awareness for<br />

throwing up in my<br />

mouth a little.<br />

(Tweeted Nov. 17)<br />

� Star criminal<br />

defense lawyer<br />

Lance Scaravelli<br />

grabs a grilled<br />

chicken wrap at Cyril Lunney<br />

Anna’s Cafe &<br />

Deli, Hollis St. (Tweeted Nov. 15)<br />

� Frankland help wanted ad running in today’s<br />

Herald. We need reporters!!! (Tweeted<br />

Nov. 13)<br />

� Live 105.1 is giving away “Movember<br />

Swag.” If anything can defeat prostate cancer,<br />

it’s a goddamn tote with a moustache on it.<br />

(Tweeted Nov. 12)<br />

� Construction heating up: workers install<br />

ductwork at Theatrelofts on Gottingen.<br />

(Tweeted Nov. 10)<br />

� The bird-woman of Spring Garden Road.<br />

(Tweeted Nov. 10)<br />

� I’ve been to Provincial Court in Dartmouth<br />

when the entire security contingent consists of<br />

one sheriff sitting at a card table, now they’re<br />

asking you to take your belt off before you go<br />

through the metal detector at Spring Garden<br />

Road Provincial Court. (Tweeted Nov. 9)<br />

� HRM finance guru Bruce Fisher walking<br />

up Blowers Street with Anne Derrick following<br />

close on his heels. Mike the<br />

Panhandler brings up the rear. (Tweeted Nov.<br />

9)<br />

� Bruce Fisher update: just walked past the<br />

SGR library in the opposite direction. I’ll bring<br />

you more on this as the story progresses.<br />

(Tweeted Nov. 9)<br />

� Just heard that<br />

Spryfield Shopping<br />

Centre’s<br />

owner hired<br />

Robert “Pretty<br />

Boy” Chisholm to<br />

lobby Dexter to<br />

lease gov’t space in<br />

the mall. (Tweeted<br />

Nov. 9)<br />

� The bunker is in<br />

transition. You<br />

can’t make an<br />

omelet without<br />

choking on a few<br />

Robert Chisholm<br />

thousand dust bunnies. (Tweeted Nov. 8)<br />

Bird flu, anyone?


ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK<br />

HALIFAX, NOVA SCOTIA<br />

ISSUE 599<br />

DECEMBER 7, 2010<br />

The historic agreement between the governments<br />

of Nova Nova Scotia Scotia and Newfoundland<br />

Newfoundland<br />

and and Labrador Labrador will benefit all Atlantic<br />

Atlantic<br />

Canadians<br />

Canadians.<br />

Canadians<br />

In addition to transmiting electricity from the<br />

Lower Lower Lower Churchill Churchill to Nova Nova Scotia Scotia, Scotia I have<br />

agreed to transmit old CODCO CODCO episodes to<br />

every living room in Cape Cape Breton Breton. Breton<br />

Provincial officials in Halifax Halifax Halifax have agreed<br />

to ship Cathy Cathy Jones Jones<br />

Jones back to Jelly Jelly Bean<br />

Bean<br />

Row Row in downtown St.John’s St.John’s, St.John’s in return for a<br />

nice bottle of screech.<br />

This is a complex, billion-dollar deal. No<br />

detail, however small, has been overlooked.<br />

The contract will be ratified once Emera<br />

Emera<br />

president Chris Chris Huskilson Huskilson dances a Newfie<br />

Newfie<br />

jig up Signal Signal Hill.<br />

Hill.<br />

I categorically deny media rumours that our<br />

Lieutenant-Governors are included in the<br />

transaction. I wasn’t born yesterday, you know.<br />

Who in their right mind would trade John<br />

John<br />

Crosbie Crosbie for Mayann Mayann Francis Francis? Francis<br />

We are, however, exchanging a plate of cod<br />

tongues for a donair from Pizza Pizza Corner Corner. Corner I<br />

had to give up something to keep Crosbie. But<br />

I’m not eating the donair. I’ll make Crosbie eat<br />

the donair. I’ll tell him it’s stuffed full of seal<br />

meat.<br />

As a show of good faith and inter-provincial<br />

harmony, Nova Scotia’s socialist Premier<br />

Premier<br />

Darrell Darrell Darrell Dexterovich Dexterovich and I will ride the<br />

Marine Marine Marine Atlantic Atlantic ferry from North North Sydney<br />

Sydney<br />

to Port-Aux-Basques<br />

Port-Aux-Basques, Port-Aux-Basques where we will smile<br />

and shake hands with the public, wave the<br />

Canadian Canadian flag, and swap photographs of<br />

icebergs and whales.<br />

I hear Darrell has a mighty impressive digital<br />

camera or two!<br />

You know, I never thought I could negotiate<br />

with an N-Dipper N-Dipper, N-Dipper but at the end of the day, it<br />

sure as hell beats talking to Jean Jean Charest Charest. Charest<br />

Down with Quebec Quebec! Quebec Give us back our<br />

Upper Upper Churchill Churchill Falls Falls Falls hydroelectric<br />

project, you poutine-eating frogs!<br />

— — — Danny Danny Millions,<br />

Millions,<br />

Premier Premier of of Newfoundland<br />

Newfoundland<br />

& & Labrador<br />

Labrador<br />

Managing editor: Andrew Douglas<br />

Chief reporter: Dan Walsh<br />

Staff reporters: Neal Ozano<br />

John Williams<br />

Copy editor/Layout: Joan Westen<br />

Atlantic Canada Frank is a magazine of news, satire, opinion,<br />

comment and humour published every two weeks by Coltsfoot Publishing<br />

Limited. Copyright Coltsfoot Publishing Limited. Coltsfoot<br />

Publishing is the proprietor and publisher of Atlantic Canada<br />

Frank. Mailing address: Frank Magazine, P.O. Box 295, Halifax,<br />

B3J 2N7. Subscriptions: see back page. Publications Mail Agreement<br />

No. 40050490; P.A.P. No. 8158. Phone: 420-1668. Fax: 423-<br />

0281. E-mail: atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca. Toll-free Tips Hotline:<br />

1-888-335-5505. Letters, see Pages 30, 31. We acknowledge the<br />

financial support of the Government of Canada through the Canada<br />

Periodical Fund (CPF) for our publishing activities.<br />

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DECEMBER 7, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 3


Purdy Crawford<br />

BY I. RATE<br />

I WAS COMPLETELY GOBSMACKED BY THE<br />

NEWS OF JOHN BRAGG’S NOV. 10 INDUCTION<br />

INTO THE V. IMPORTANT-SOUNDING CANADA’S<br />

TELECOMMUNICATIONS HALL OF FAME IN OT-<br />

TAWA.<br />

Naturally, my first impulse was to rush to the<br />

phone and congratulate John, but alas, because<br />

I am an Eastlink customer, my phone line was<br />

dead.<br />

Leastlink magnate John and son Lee Bragg<br />

like to go mano-a-mano with the big boys -<br />

Eastlink is now the country’s largest private TV<br />

cable company - but if its phone service to parts<br />

of downtown Halifax is any indication, the company<br />

may be better off keeping to the kid’s wading<br />

pool.<br />

Put it this way: if Alexander Graham Bell<br />

went with Eastlink, he’d wish he’d never invented<br />

the telephone.<br />

For at least five months now, Eastlink’s service<br />

to some biz customers along the Hollis-<br />

Granville-Duke-George corridor — including<br />

the Frankland Bunker — has been abysmal.<br />

At times the loss of dial tone has led us to<br />

consider advertising its disappearance on a milk<br />

carton. Have you seen Eastlink’s dial tone? It’s<br />

been missing all week!<br />

While calls are dropped infrequently, it has<br />

been known to happen; but more frustratingly,<br />

many calls are marred by constant noise interference.<br />

At times it’s like you’re speaking underwater.<br />

It happens so often, I’m nominating<br />

John Bragg for a berth in the Canadian Aquatic<br />

Hall Of Fame.<br />

Over-worked Eastlink reps have told us the<br />

recurring problems are likely due to deterioration<br />

in the company’s underground infrastruc-<br />

4 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010<br />

LET’S DO LUNCH...<br />

BY COLE D. CUTTS<br />

TWO MEN WHO HAVE ESCAPED SCRUTINY IN MAPLE LEAF FOOD’S DECI-<br />

SION TO CLOSE ITS LARSEN PLANT IN BERWICK AND THROW 280 PEOPLE<br />

OUT OF WORK, ARE BIZ TITANS JOHN BRAGG AND PURDY CRAWFORD.<br />

Last year, Oxford Frozen Foods and Eastlink czar Bragg and Crawford,<br />

the darling of Bay Street, split $160,000 between them in director’s fees<br />

for parking their fat-cat behinds around the Maple Leaf boardroom table. To<br />

earn their princely sums — an amount I’m sure any of the laid-off Larsen<br />

workers would be thrilled to receive — both men attended 10 of the 11<br />

yearly board meetings.<br />

Bragg, who ranks among the top 100 richest men in Canada, held $2.2<br />

million worth of company shares as of last February, while Five Islands<br />

native Crawford owned $2.7 million in shares.<br />

Having rebounded from its 2008 listeriosis outbreak, Maple Leaf’s stock<br />

price has risen in the past year from a low of $8.47 to a high of $13. Good<br />

news for major shareholders like Bragg and Crawford, bad news for the<br />

victims of Maple Leaf’s restructuring.<br />

Last year ceo Michael McCain’s total compensation rose nearly $3<br />

million, to a whopping $7.3 million.<br />

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW...?<br />

ture, and can guarantee no estimated repair<br />

time.<br />

If John and Lee Bragg can’t provide reliable<br />

phone service to businesses in the commercial<br />

heart of Atlantic Canada, they should fold up<br />

and go back to picking blueberries in Oxford!<br />

In the past five years, Eastlink’s Halifax market<br />

share has risen from 34% to 50%, but many<br />

see the jump more as a result of public dissatisfaction<br />

with the Upper Canada-based Bell<br />

Aliant, than with anything Eastlink is doing right.<br />

If its piss-poor service continues, Eastlink will<br />

be bleeding customers left and right, not that<br />

the Bragg family ogliarchy is likely to notice.<br />

Last year John’s empire — worth over $711<br />

million, making him the 77th richest man in the<br />

country — sold its cable interests in Saskatchewan<br />

for over $26 million, and unloaded its<br />

Pierceys hardware stores to Rona, in a similar-sized<br />

deal.<br />

Industry chatter has Eastlink poised for an<br />

expansion into the lucrative wireless and<br />

cellphone market, and rumours abound that the<br />

company is ready to swap some of its Western<br />

Canadian holdings to the Shaw media<br />

empire.<br />

The big-time wheeling and dealing is all well<br />

and good, but Maple Leaf and TD Bank corporate<br />

director John — who owns his own multimillion<br />

dollar private jet (Frank 563) and whose<br />

companies benefited from more than $60 million<br />

in N.S. government loans — needs to remember<br />

capitalism’s cardinal rule: people pay<br />

his company to provide basic services, and if<br />

Eastlink can’t deliver, the customers take their<br />

money elsewhere.<br />

John Bragg in the Hall of Fame? You’ve got to<br />

be kiddin’ me! Hall of Shame, is more like it.<br />

dan@atlanticfrank.ca<br />

John Bragg<br />

Keith<br />

Condon<br />

DR. KEITH, IF<br />

YOU DON’T MIND<br />

A TIP OF THE OLE FRANKLAND MORTARBOARD<br />

TO TRI-STAR INDUSTRIES AMBULANCE MAN<br />

KEITH CONDON FOR HIS DALHOUSIE U.<br />

HONOURARY DEGREE.<br />

Over the past five years, taxpayers have<br />

coughed up over $20 million to Tri-Star, to<br />

lease 150 of its ambulances.<br />

My trusty Frankland abacus tells me we<br />

lease each hospital wagon for about $25,000 a<br />

year. No bloody wonder, we’re slapped with a<br />

$670 bill every time we ride in it!<br />

Keith’s daughter, Halifax biz consultant April<br />

MacLeod, formerly toiled at Dal’s School of<br />

Business.


IRVING’S PRIVATE FORTUNE<br />

BY WILL N. TESTAMENT<br />

USUALLY, A $4 MILLION WILL MAKES<br />

PEOPLE STAND UP AND TAKE NOTICE.<br />

But if the number is used to describe<br />

Schwartz Furniture and Seaside Communications<br />

magnate Irving Schwartz’s will, $4<br />

million — which, let’s face it, is a staggering<br />

amount — provokes only raised eyebrows.<br />

“Is that all he had?” asked one longtime publicly<br />

elected official. “I would have thought he<br />

had more than that.”<br />

He sounded almost cresftfallen.<br />

One Sydney entrepreneur said he would<br />

have guessed Irving’s fortune would have been<br />

larger, considering that “he had the same vinyl<br />

window blinds on his house since the late<br />

1960s.”<br />

Irving was one of those rare breeds, a man<br />

who went to work every day, and worked his<br />

tail off, and did not indulge in a lavish lifestyle.<br />

Ostentatious and flamboyant were two adjectives<br />

that you never associated with Irving<br />

Schwartz.<br />

But it is worth noting that his estate’s final<br />

inventory is not yet filed; at this stage, Irving’s<br />

$4-million estate consists only of personal<br />

property, and does not include his varied business<br />

interests.<br />

When the final inventory is completed by his<br />

quartet of executors — wife Diana Schwartz,<br />

daughter Margo Schwartz, retired Sobeys<br />

exec James Gogan, and David Miller, who<br />

owns the Mickey Dee’s franchise in the Little<br />

Vatican — the estate value may swell. We’ll<br />

have to wait and see.<br />

Beside his cash cows, the cable and furniture<br />

companies, the “I guarentee it” pitchman<br />

also had investments and directorships with<br />

John Risley’s fish guts empire Ocean Nutrition<br />

and Chad Munro’s X-ray peddling Halifax<br />

Biomedical (Frank 598).<br />

Like most successful entrepreneurs, Irving<br />

Irving Schwartz Joseph Claener<br />

experienced his share of spectacular biz failings,<br />

such as the Atlantic Castings<br />

boondoggle, which cost the taxpayer a pretty<br />

penny.<br />

But overall, I’d say the legendary biz figure<br />

and philanthropist, who gave away a small fortune<br />

in his lifetime, made out pretty good with<br />

his $4 million.<br />

Not bad for a kid who started working at his<br />

mother Rose Schwartz’s general store when<br />

he was only knee high to a grasshopper.<br />

As you can expect, Irving’s will, signed three<br />

months before his Sept. 18 death at 81, enriched<br />

those who meant the most to him — his<br />

family.<br />

Irving left all of his household possessions<br />

and real estate — including a 50-acre parcel in<br />

Guysborough County — to his wife of 52<br />

years, Diana.<br />

Diana owns the couple’s longtime Churchill<br />

Drive abode, assessed at a modest $153,200.<br />

Irving set aside a cool $200,000 apiece to<br />

each of his four kids, London, England rezzie<br />

Margo, whose husband Adrian Noskwith is<br />

now Seaside president; David Schwartz of<br />

Halifax; and Joanne Schwartz and Stephanie<br />

Schwartz, who both live in Toronto, a fact<br />

we will not hold against them.<br />

CAPE<br />

BRETON<br />

CALLING...<br />

SCREAMING EAGLES<br />

LOSE A BOOSTER<br />

THE SCHWARTZ FAMILY IS SELLING ITS<br />

STAKE IN THE CAPE BRETON SCREAMING<br />

EAGLES AS A PART OF ITS OVERALL<br />

STRATEGY TO FOCUS ON THE CLAN’S CORE<br />

BUSINESSES.<br />

Seaside Communications president<br />

Adrian Noskwith — Irving’s son-in-law<br />

— says the family’s single share in the<br />

QMJHL team is worth about $20,000.<br />

Last time out I told you that another plank<br />

in Seaside’s streamlining strategy, the sale<br />

of close to $1 million worth of Halifax<br />

Biomedical stock back to the Maboubased<br />

start-up, left company CEO Chad<br />

Munro scrambling to come up with the<br />

cash.<br />

He and Diana’s four grandchildren were allotted<br />

$10,000 each.<br />

Welton Street dentist, Irving’s cousin Dr.<br />

Joseph Claener, was bequeathed $50,000.<br />

His 11-page will contains a reference to a<br />

discretionary trust created earlier in the year,<br />

suggesting that whip smart Irving, who battled<br />

colon battle for the past two years, finalized all<br />

of his estate planning sometime ago.<br />

dan@atlanticfrank.ca<br />

SILVER DONALD<br />

GIVING UP LOVENEST<br />

IT’S A HEART THING, SAYS SILVER DONALD CAMERON.<br />

A heart scare four years ago, to be precise, and the fact that the <strong>love</strong> of<br />

his life makes her living as a freelancer, mostly in Halifax, has prompted<br />

the acclaimed Nova Scotia writer to put one of his D’Escousse houses<br />

on the market.<br />

His ad on Facebook Marketplace exclaims: “PRICE REDUCED! Professional<br />

and health issues made us move to Halifax, so we have to sell one<br />

of the two houses we own in D’Escousse.”<br />

CONTINUED ON PAGE 7<br />

DECEMBER 7, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 5


CHIT CHAT<br />

COULD THAT HAVE BEEN TRANSCONTI-<br />

NENTAL FOUNDER REMI MARCOUX, OWNER<br />

OF THE CAPE BRETON POST, BEING<br />

PICKED UP AT THE SYDNEY AIRPORT AND<br />

WHISKED TO THE BIG INTERVALE FISHING<br />

LODGE FOR SEVERAL DAYS BACK IN OC-<br />

TOBER WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A “COMMENT<br />

ALLEZ-VOUS” TO THE GOOD FOLKS AT THE<br />

POST? SAY IT AIN’T SO, MONSIEUR!<br />

� � �<br />

Speaking of the Post, nice to see former editor<br />

Freddie “The Freeloader” Jackson has<br />

completed renovations to his $134,000-assessed<br />

Newlands Avenue, Sydney abode.<br />

The tasteful faux plastic brick along with the<br />

vinyl siding is just soooo Freddie. He truly is a<br />

man of taste and sophistication.<br />

� � �<br />

Devoted son and all-round good guy Dr. Kevin<br />

Orrel celebrated his birthday out on the town<br />

with his dynamic Mum and inlaws recently. The<br />

good doctor enjoys a stellar reputation in his<br />

field.<br />

� � �<br />

CBC Cape Breton Information Morning<br />

host Steve Sutherland has done a great job<br />

making that formerly lame program rather enjoyable.<br />

Mummy and I listen to it every morning<br />

without fail.<br />

While I’m on the topic, you could do worse<br />

than pick up a copy of Steve’s new book, Getting<br />

it Done: Conversations with Cape<br />

Breton Leaders. Although, I can’t help but<br />

notice that some of the “leaders” have sprinkled<br />

their anecdotes with a healthy dose of revisionist<br />

history. Certainly not a criticism of Steve,<br />

mind you. It’s just that an old codger like me<br />

tends to know where the bodies are buried.<br />

The truth shall set you free!<br />

� � �<br />

The Cape Breton YMCA recently held a<br />

well-attended donor appreciation night.<br />

CEO Andre Gallant handled matters perfectly,<br />

ably assisted by Dr. Rex Dunn who spoke<br />

glowingly of the many donors and the state of<br />

the art facility. Noticeable by his absence was<br />

Hugh Tweedie, whose razor-sharp business<br />

acumen was instrumental in obtaining major<br />

funding.<br />

The new and improved Y will be christened<br />

the Frank Rudderham Family YMCA.<br />

� � �<br />

Nice chatting with George Khattar, who I’m<br />

happy to report is enjoying his golden years to<br />

the fullest.<br />

The retired Khattar & Khattar legalist is dividing<br />

his time between his home base of Sydney,<br />

visiting his children and grandchildren in<br />

Ottawa, and perfecting his golf game in Florida.<br />

6 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010<br />

George sold the firm six years ago and put<br />

himself out to pasture in 2008. K&K, founded by<br />

his father Simon in the 1930s, continues to<br />

flourish.<br />

� � �<br />

Congrats to Reg and Mary of Pollett’s Drug<br />

Store on Charlotte Street for their thoughtprovoking<br />

Remembrance Day window display.<br />

Mary is the quintessential caring and conscientious<br />

pharmacist and has been a mentor<br />

to many over the years.<br />

� � �<br />

I see where tireless community worker Selma<br />

Doucet, 75, recently defeated her illustrious<br />

nephew in an arm-wrestling match, forcing him<br />

to cough up $10,000 toward the restoration of<br />

St. Mark’s Anglican Church. You go, girl!<br />

Mayor<br />

John<br />

Morgan<br />

Transcontinental<br />

baron Remi Marcoux<br />

� � �<br />

A recent poll commissioned by an illustrious<br />

Cape Bretoner sought to determine how 10<br />

prominent CBRM denizens would stack up<br />

against Mayor John Morgan in the next municipal<br />

election. Bad news for the Morgan-haters:<br />

he spanked them all soundly with “wins”<br />

ranging from 73.7 per cent to 92.4 per cent.<br />

The biggest loser? You guessed it, Dave “I’m<br />

Entitled To My Entitlements” Dingwall.<br />

The poll is reputed to have a margin of error<br />

plus or minus four per cent, 19 times out of 20.<br />

� � �<br />

Is it just me or is<br />

beancounter George<br />

Unsworth getting<br />

younger-looking with<br />

each passing year?<br />

C’mon, my good<br />

man, where do I find<br />

this fountain of<br />

youth?<br />

Keeping busy is<br />

shurely one of his secrets;<br />

expert fixer<br />

George was recently<br />

appointed to the<br />

Cape Breton Regional<br />

Hospital<br />

board of directors.<br />

� � �<br />

I take da pole<br />

and catch da fish.<br />

George<br />

Unsworth<br />

Sincere congratulations to Jamie & Ian<br />

MacDonald on the sale of Island Well Drillers<br />

to Steve Unsworth and Jim Kehoe.<br />

With Jimmy at the helm, continued success is<br />

virtually assured. The MacDonald boys toiled<br />

for 40 years, garnering many accolades along<br />

the way. Jamie and Ian will stay on for a year to<br />

ensure a smooth transition. Incidentally, the sale<br />

did not include real estate.


� � �<br />

Sydney barrister Joseph Rizzetto is on the<br />

mend, spending increasingly more time at the<br />

office. I’d be willing to bet that Joe has more<br />

courtroom experience than any other lawyer in<br />

so-called “industrial Cape Breton.”<br />

� � �<br />

Nice to see Duncan MacIntyre out and about<br />

with his charming and beautiful daughter Ann.<br />

Duncan, 85ish, ably ran MacIntyre<br />

Chevrolet for decades and was a talented<br />

hockey player in his day. He still looks as though<br />

he could play a rugged game of shinny.<br />

� � �<br />

Curses!<br />

Foiled again!<br />

Robert<br />

Sampson<br />

Sampson McDougall partner Robert<br />

Sampson seemed a little down in the dumps<br />

when I saw him outside the firm’s Wentworth<br />

Street bunker<br />

the other day.<br />

Could it be that his self-flagellating mood is<br />

over Sampson McDougall’s failure, yet again, to<br />

crack Canadian Lawyer magazine’s annual<br />

list of the Top 10 Law Firms in Atlantic<br />

Canada? How could such an august publication<br />

continue to overlook Cape Breton’s Largest<br />

Law Firm, year after year? To make matters<br />

worse, the good folks over at <strong>Best</strong> Lawyers<br />

in Canada went and left Bobby’s name<br />

off of their 2011 legal beagle round-up.<br />

Chin up, pal! Your day will come!<br />

Speaking of that venerable law firm, isn’t it<br />

time they thought about taking Glen McDougall’s<br />

name off the masthead? It’s been nine years<br />

since he was called to the N.S. Supreme Court<br />

bench. Of course, there’s no particular rule gov-<br />

erning the naming of law firms, but oftentimes a<br />

judge will ask that their name be removed from<br />

the shingle. It doesn’t look good, they think, if a<br />

lawyer from a firm with their name on the letterhead<br />

appears in front of them or is even peripherally<br />

involved with a file.<br />

After all, as somebody much smarter than my<br />

goodself once said, “Not only must justice be<br />

done; it must also be seen to be done.”<br />

� � �<br />

Spotted in downtown Sydney on a recent<br />

evening: the very able solicitor Vince Gillis dining<br />

out at the much-improved Charlotte St. bistro<br />

Allegro with his fine family in tow.<br />

� � �<br />

Congrats to Sgt. Wayne Rudderham<br />

on his coming retirement from the Cape<br />

Breton Regional Police.<br />

Chief Myles Burke predicts that Wayne<br />

will have a busy retirement, as his experience<br />

in arms and SWAT training is in demand all over<br />

the world. The Chief has something of a soft<br />

spot for his departing comrade, as he remembers<br />

Wayne looking out for him as a fresh-faced<br />

recruit at Holland College.<br />

As for the Chief himself, he joins the aforementioned<br />

Mr. Unsworth on the CBRH board,<br />

where his leadership skills and managerial<br />

prowess will prove invaluable to the organization.<br />

� � �<br />

Oh by’e the by’e, a Sydney Socialite recently<br />

rapped my knuckles after I recklessly referred<br />

to her as being “50ish” a few issues back.<br />

In fact this fine and beautiful lady is 45ish,<br />

and truth be told, could pass for 35 on a good<br />

day. While she is a dame who “does lunch,”<br />

she’s no bored lady of leisure.<br />

She has a full-time job and is the loving mother<br />

of four exceptional children. Her dinner parties<br />

are exceptional, and her Town & Countryworthy<br />

home will rank third on our upcoming<br />

Whose House: Cape Breton list. Despite all<br />

this she still finds time to be active in her community,<br />

and has also won critical acclaim for<br />

her recurring role on the reality series The Real<br />

Housewives of Coxheath.<br />

� � �<br />

Can service at the Sydney Home Depot<br />

possibly get any worse? Where do they get<br />

these people?<br />

Conversely, the venerable Mr. Paint on<br />

George Street continues to thrive, based on<br />

the fact that they have the best paint, Benjamin<br />

SILVER DONALD, FROM PAGE 5<br />

“There’s nothing wrong with the house,<br />

there’s problems with us. It’s my health, and her<br />

profession,” says Silver Don. He bought a house<br />

with his Halifax-based freelancer-wife<br />

Marjorie Simmins on Armshore Drive<br />

($491,500) in the tony Northwest Arm ‘hood<br />

in 2006 so they could be closer to where she<br />

works.<br />

A Sydney<br />

Socialite<br />

(not<br />

exactly as<br />

illustrated).<br />

Moore, and years of experience which they<br />

give away free for the asking.<br />

� � �<br />

Next time you’re in the Margaree Valley, do<br />

yourself a favour and check out the Dancing<br />

Goat Cafe & Bakery. Try the veggie sandwich<br />

on whole wheat with hummus. The soups are<br />

divine and the baked goods are scrumptious.<br />

Tell Merv that Frank sentcha, and have him put<br />

it on my bill.<br />

D-Cam was asking $179,900 for the little home<br />

he’s owned since 1986 — he married Marjorie<br />

there in 1998 — and says the sale is pending.<br />

The house is assessed at $128,600.<br />

Fortunately, Cameron tells me the heart problems<br />

are old news, but he was still concerned<br />

enough to sell.<br />

“I’m getting rid of things I don’t need.”<br />

neal@atlanticfrank.ca<br />

DECEMBER 7, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 7


AN OFFER<br />

HE LIKELY<br />

WON’T REFUSE<br />

BY WILL HEGOUGH<br />

WILL PETER MACKAY EVENTUALLY FLEE PUBLIC LIFE TO JOIN GOWLINGS LAFLEUR<br />

HENDERSON LLP, CANADA’S LARGEST LAW FIRM?<br />

A source close to the talks says it appears that Peter seems very receptive to the firm’s<br />

advances. You certainly can’t blame Petey for wanting to escape life under Stephen Harper’s<br />

boot heel for a luxurious private sector life at Gowlings.<br />

For starters, I’m advised that the firm is offering the lowly N.S. Crown attorney-turned Defence<br />

Minister a starting salary in the neighbourhood of $500,000, not to mention a six-figure bonus just<br />

for signing on the dotted line. As far as perks, Gowlings maintains its own private jet, a suite at the<br />

Waldorf Astoria in the heart of Manhattan, and well-appointed condos in cities around the<br />

world.<br />

While mainstream media reports have Peter considering a post at the firm’s Toronto<br />

office, my source maintains that Peter would inhabit a corner office at Place Ville<br />

Marie in Montreal, where the firm boasts over 100,000 sq. ft. of office space, not to<br />

mention a superb executive dining room. (To Alan Parish, QC, at Burchells LLP:<br />

Your sandwiches are wonderful, however kindly see what you can do about a more<br />

sophisticated in-house dining experience. I sense I’ll be spending more time in your<br />

office from now on — ed.)<br />

Hockey fan Pete would also no doubt take full advantage of the firm’s corporate box at the Bell<br />

Centre, cheering on the Habs with a Molson in one hand and a shrimp cocktail in the other.<br />

8 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010<br />

High-flying Peter?<br />

BETTER LATE<br />

THAN NEVER NEWS<br />

THERE WAS MUCH OOHING AND AHHING IN THE NATIONAL MEDIA EARLIER<br />

THIS MONTH WHEN THE TORONTO STAR RAN A PHOTO OF PETER MACKAY<br />

AND HIS NEW GALPAL, ACCOMPANIED BY AN ASTOUNDINGLY DENSE 1,000-<br />

WORD STORY.<br />

Of course, if the national media had been paying attention, they would have<br />

found out all they needed to know about the notorious swordsman’s relationship<br />

with the ravishing Iranian-Canadian beauty queen, Nazanin Afshim-<br />

Jam, back in June (Frank 588). But that’s beside the point.<br />

Perhaps the best recent analysis of the Defence Minister’s new coupling<br />

came from Calgary-based political scientist Tom Flanagan on a recent edition<br />

of CBC Newsworld’s Power & Politics. Although host Evan Solomon<br />

was more interested in discussing Peter’s possible defection to a law firm in<br />

Upper Canada (see accompanying story), Tom’s mind was in the gutter.<br />

“Have you seen Peter MacKay’s new girlfriend?” he exclaimed.<br />

“It’s not surprising that he’s thinking about something other than politics. I’m<br />

surprised he can still walk, actually.”<br />

Barely masking a disgusted sneer, fellow panelist and Canadian Press<br />

reporter Jenn Ditchburn commented: “I also hear she has a university degree.”


THE FRAGRANCE OF HEARTACHE:<br />

THE BARB & JOHN BUSTUP<br />

BY MARY KNOTT<br />

DEFENCE MINSTER PETER “SHOULD I STAY<br />

OR SHOULD I GO?” MACKAY IS NOT THE ONLY<br />

ONE IN HIS OFFICE FACING MAJOR LIFE<br />

CHANGES. PETER’S CHIEF OF STAFF JOHN<br />

MACDONELL HAS LOST HIS FIANCEE BARB<br />

STEGEMANN.<br />

Lucky for John, his boss Peter is an old hand<br />

at losing fiancees, and no doubt can lend sage<br />

advice in that department. While I’ve lost track<br />

of the number, most recently Peter went<br />

splitsville with fiancee, CTV news exec Jana<br />

Juginovic, whose affections were quickly replaced<br />

by Iranian beauty, Nazanin Afshim-<br />

Jam (Frank 588, 585).<br />

No word on whether Peter offered to show<br />

John his potato-patch in Pictou County, the<br />

place where sensitive Ottawa men go to pat<br />

the neighbourhood dog and heal their bangedup<br />

hearts.<br />

But enough about Peter, who rebounds better<br />

than anyone since Kareem Abdul Jabbar.<br />

(Wilt Chamberlain might be a more apt comparison.<br />

— ed.)<br />

One acquaintance who talked to John at the<br />

Oct. 29 Jamie Baillie coronation in Halifax said<br />

he gave no hints that anything was amiss in his<br />

private life.<br />

But privately, some of John’s inner circle began,<br />

earlier in the summer, to fear that his relationship<br />

with ambitious self-promoter Barb was<br />

on the rocks.<br />

I, too, started to get nervous when the couple’s<br />

planned July wedding - which Barb shamelessly<br />

plugged while hawking her perfume line<br />

in an earlier Globe & Mail puff piece - never<br />

happened (Frank 592).<br />

Their split presumably occured after the July<br />

wedding of their friends, Captain Trevor<br />

Greene and Debbie Lapore, which Barb and<br />

John attended together in Lotusland.<br />

Love looks not with the eyes,<br />

but with the mind<br />

— A Mid-Summer’s Night Dream<br />

Antigonish is about the most unromantic<br />

place on Earth, isn’t it?<br />

Yet both Barb (nee Robbins) and John hail<br />

from the Little Vatican, and knew each other<br />

way back when, when poor Barb was fat, had<br />

no socks and lived in a trailer park.<br />

In her self-obsessed, self-help tome, The 7<br />

Virtues Of A Philosopher Queen, Juliet, I<br />

mean Barb, calls her then-Romeo John, “The<br />

Barb and John,<br />

in happier tims.<br />

most ethical person I had ever met in my life.”<br />

As the self-aggrandizing Barb recounts, “At<br />

the age of 15, [when she weighed 210 pounds]<br />

I met the smartest, most ethical boy I had ever<br />

come across in high school. In fact, years later<br />

I followed John to university and we had remained<br />

friends for 23 years. It was Socrates<br />

Mike Velemirovich<br />

who said, ‘Follow the smart people.’”<br />

Some might argue that it was the smart people<br />

who dumped the hemlock into Socrates’ drink<br />

and poisioned him, and that one should avoid<br />

smart people at all costs, but whatever.<br />

CONTINUED ON PAGE 10<br />

HOW TO MEND<br />

A BROKEN HEART<br />

ACCORDING TO HALIFAX CAR INDUSTRY CHATTER,<br />

HILLCREST VOLKSWAGON GM MIKE VELEMIROVICH HAS A<br />

NEW MAIN SQUEEZE: BARB STEGEMANN.<br />

The Mike & Barb social pairing has also been noted in political<br />

circles; not surprising, since Barb’s former fiancee, John<br />

MacDonell, occupies a powerful seat in Ottawa as Defence<br />

Minister Peter MacKay’s right-hand man.<br />

Canadian Automobile Dealers Association boardie<br />

Mike failed to return a message left at the family-owned Robie<br />

Street dealership.<br />

In late October he took out a $311,000 mortgage with RBC<br />

and bought a 12th storey condo at Navid Saberi’s The<br />

Waterton on Walter Havill Drive.<br />

CONTINUED ON PAGE 10<br />

DECEMBER 7, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 9


THE NOT-SO-AMAZING RACE<br />

I HEAR THREE CONTESTANTS ARE IN THE RUNNING FOR THE RACE TO<br />

REPLACE N.S. LIBERAL LEADER STEPHEN MCNEIL’S $95,000-A-YEAR<br />

CHIEF OF STAFF ALLAN SULLIVAN, WHO ANNOUNCED HIS IMMINENT<br />

DEPARTURE EARLIER THIS YEAR (FRANK 595).<br />

Said to be lacing up their track shoes are: caucus research director<br />

Tracey “Fashionista” Preeper, long-time EA to erstwhile Dartmouth<br />

East MLA Dr. Jim Smith and sister of Russell MacLellan-era chief of<br />

staff Len Preeper; professional elbow-rubber Chris “East Coast Con-<br />

BARB & JOHN, FROM PREVIOUS PAGE<br />

Barb followed her brainy, pint-sized pal to<br />

Kings College, where they formed a tight-knit<br />

mutual admiration society with Ottawa native<br />

Trevor, who in March 2006 became a national<br />

hero after he survived a savage axe attack in<br />

tribal Afghanistan.<br />

Out of Trevor’s tragedy, old friends came together,<br />

and a great <strong>love</strong> was born. Or, as carpe<br />

diem queen Barb writes, “This time I thought I<br />

am not going to wait until I am 80 to tell him how<br />

I feel. So I did. Now that friend of 23 years is my<br />

partner.”<br />

The <strong>love</strong>birds found domestic bliss in July<br />

2007, when they bought a home in Bedford’s<br />

Carriageway Court enclave, a year and a half<br />

after then-N.S. Tory president and Stewart<br />

McKelvey partner John landed one of the country’s<br />

top political jobs, as MacKay’s chief of staff.<br />

Shortly after they embarked on their great<br />

adventure — “John is a mentor to our children<br />

[and] a coach to me,” Barb blabbed in print —<br />

Barb was offered, and accepted, the job as<br />

Trade Centre mouthpiece, back when TC ceo<br />

Fred MacGillivray’s secret supplementary<br />

pension began climbing into the high six-figure<br />

range.<br />

Backed by her partner John, the ultimate<br />

powerbroker, rabid cheerleader Barb leapt into<br />

civic politics like a missionary among the natives,<br />

determined to ignite a religious fervour<br />

among the locals with her obnoxious Citizens<br />

For Halifax lobby group.<br />

Her public-speaking career really took off<br />

when she inflicted her Philosopher Queen<br />

mumbo-jumbo on the self-help crazed, toiletreading<br />

public (see thumbs down review, Frank<br />

547).<br />

The relentless, unstoppable Barb Stegemann<br />

self-promotion machine kicked into even higher<br />

gear this year, and Barb made national headlines<br />

by peddling her Orange Blossom Special<br />

perfume.<br />

Barb’s over-the-top marketing efforts included<br />

her misleadingly name-dropping Gandhi, and<br />

trying to drum up an appearance on Oprah<br />

(Frank 581, 582).<br />

In the wider scheme of things, philosophically<br />

speaking, (isn’t it great how we can use the<br />

10 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010<br />

term philosophy to make even our most mundane<br />

thoughts appear profounder than they<br />

actually are?), balancing a career and home life<br />

is not an easy task for any of us.<br />

I left an unanswered message with John, via<br />

his Ottawa spokesthingy Jay Paxton.<br />

MEND, FROM PREVIOUS PAGE<br />

It is understood Mike has separated from his<br />

wife, whose name momentarily eludes me. They<br />

have two children.<br />

Barb, who like Mike is in her mid-40s, also has<br />

two kids, from a previous marriage. Barb did<br />

not reply to my email query.<br />

She is busy concocting a brand new odour,<br />

and the History channel is even hosting a contest<br />

to name it. Barb wants the perfume name<br />

to include the word “Afghanistan,” so I presume<br />

she plans to distribute it by the barrelful,<br />

since Afghanistan is too long to fit on a bottle of<br />

perfume, unless it comes with a magnifying<br />

glass to read the label!<br />

Micromanager Barb also suggests the title<br />

nected” Crowell, who last year lost the Halifax riding nod to Twitter<br />

bore Dr. Stan “Brainworks” Kutcher; and Glace Bay boy Kirby<br />

MacVicar, a former fartcatcher to Sydney-Victoria MP Mark Eyking,<br />

and apparently a v. good friend to the aforementioned Mr. Sullivan.<br />

Some Gritty sources contend the talent pool is particularly shallow this<br />

go ‘round. In fact, one argues that the individuals best-suited for the job<br />

never, ever want it.<br />

Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca<br />

Barb did not respond to my email query.<br />

I am not sure who resides in their $266,600assessed<br />

Carriage Court abode. Barb has two<br />

teenage children from a previous marriage.<br />

dan@atlanticfrank.ca<br />

should mention roses and also evoke the notion<br />

of courage. Jeez. Name the bloody scent yourself,<br />

Barb!<br />

Wait ... how about, Afghani Lion & Thorns?<br />

It’s a bold, tribal bouquet!<br />

But I admit I am struggling to coin a nickname<br />

for the new couple. “Barike” just doesn’t have<br />

the same ring as “Brangelina.”<br />

If they decide to do the hyphenated name<br />

thingy, God help the poor stutterer who has to<br />

pronounce Stegemann-Velemirovich.<br />

Perhaps we should simply call them Mike &<br />

Barb. Kinda like Sid & Nancy, Mickey &<br />

Minnie, George & Gracie, Victoria & Albert,<br />

Dick & Jane.<br />

It’s so simple, but still one letter too big to fit on<br />

a vanity plate. MIK&BAR works, though.


I’m entitled to... some<br />

taxi chits, I guess.<br />

YACHT CLUB NEWS<br />

FOR YACHT CLUBBERS<br />

BY A. MOCK<br />

PART TIME SAINT MARY’S UNIVERSITY PSYCHOLOGY PROFESSOR GREG COLE<br />

WASN’T ANSWERING CALLS OR EMAILS AT PRESS TIME PERTAINING TO A STORY MAKING<br />

THE ROUNDS THAT ALLEGES GREG WAS TEMPORARILY BANNED FROM ENTERING THE<br />

DARTMOUTH YACHT CLUB’S BAR IN OCTOBER.<br />

Greg, a member of the national executive of the Progress Club, serves as bar,<br />

special events and entertainment manager of the DYC.<br />

As the story was related to me, he was handed a 30-day ban following some<br />

manner of unpleasantness at a private club gathering earlier this fall.<br />

Club Commodore Nathan Reece isn’t denying my tipster’s claims.<br />

“I can’t discuss club business,” he says, adding, “There’s no story here. Even if<br />

there was a story, I wouldn’t tell you.”<br />

“There’s no grounds for you to be giving me a call on anything like this... (it’s)<br />

disappointing”.<br />

Another member of the executive committee was hesitant to talk to me, for fear that<br />

the story would be “blown out of proportion.”<br />

It’s a private club, people have drinks and “things happen,” the boating enthusiast<br />

explained.<br />

andrew@atlanticfrank.ca<br />

POOR DAVE<br />

WITH ALL THIS TALK ABOUT PETER MACKAY POTENTIALLY<br />

MAKING BARRELS OF MONEY IN THE PRIVATE SECTOR, I CAN’T<br />

HELP BUT FEEL A LITTLE MELANCHOLY FOR CABINET MINISTER-<br />

TURNED CBC RADIO COMMENTATOR DAVID DINGWALL.<br />

Dave, if you remember, flew higher and got more done in the Chretien<br />

years than Pete could ever fathom. But, although Pictou County boy Pete<br />

has his “ticket punched,” so to speak, poor Dave finds himself in the employ<br />

of Sydney law firm Sampson McDougall, a firm which to my knowledge<br />

has yet to invest in an airborne conveyance of any kind. No matter, anyone<br />

will tell you a communal Subway Stamp Card is a much more tangible<br />

benefit. Especially during lobster sandwich season.<br />

Perhaps adding insult to injury, when I asked a senior partner at a major<br />

Upper Canadian law firm whether he’d consider bringing Dingwall aboard<br />

the chap replied, “Oh, is he a lawyer?”<br />

Frank News<br />

Tips Hotline<br />

1-888-<br />

335-5505<br />

www.atlanticfrank.ca<br />

Greg<br />

Cole<br />

DECEMBER 7, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 11


MR. IRVING GOES TO SCHOOL?<br />

BY XX<br />

UNIVERSITIES THESE DAYS ARE SO CASH-<br />

STRAPPED EVEN ADMINISTRATORS ARE EATING<br />

MR. NOODLES, SO IT IS HARDLY SURPRISING<br />

THAT THE VALLEY’S FINEST BAPTIST<br />

LEARNATORIUM WANTS TO STRENGTHEN ITS TIES<br />

THE GROVES<br />

OF ACADEME<br />

WITH THE MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR IRVING EM-<br />

PIRE.<br />

I’m hearing Acadia U. is trying to convince<br />

third-generation biz mogul Jim Irving to don<br />

his uncle Arthur Irving’s used Chancellor<br />

robes. (Shurely, Ray Ivany must have dropped<br />

them off at the cleaners by now! — ed.)<br />

After 14 years, the uni’s longest-serving chancellor,<br />

octogenarian oil man Arthur — whose<br />

own academic pursuits at Acadia included hanging<br />

a skinned deer carcass from the ceiling as a<br />

prank on their matron — resigned in June.<br />

Who better to replace an Irving than another<br />

Irving? After all, you can’t start swilling Golden<br />

Glow after a bottle of Napolean brandy, can<br />

you? No, you’ve got to stick with the good stuff.<br />

The eldest son of Arthur’s elder brother J.K.,<br />

Jim oversees the family’s vast forestry and shipbuilding<br />

interests, and to many observers comes<br />

the closest to resembling his grandfather K.C.,<br />

the legendary workaholic.<br />

With the sudden resignation and disappearance<br />

of rising star and oil magnate Kenneth<br />

Irving, Jim is now the undisputed alpha male of<br />

the Irving empire (Frank 593).<br />

A few years back Jim made a $1 million<br />

donation to U. of New Brunswick in Saint<br />

John, on behalf of foresters J.D. Irving Ltd.<br />

If you ask me, Jim is just the kind of man Acadia<br />

is looking for.<br />

Jim Irving<br />

UNIVERSITY<br />

MOMENTS<br />

BY ANNE IMALHOUSE<br />

THE THREE ST. MARY’S HUSKIES FOOTBALL PLAYERS WHO WERE<br />

FORCED TO SIT OUT A GAME BECAUSE OF “CONDUCT UNBECOMING”<br />

WERE UNDER INVESTIGATION BY POLICE FOR THE SEXUAL ASSAULT<br />

OF A FEMALE SMU STUDENT, SOURCES SAY.<br />

The players — star receiver Jahmeek Taylor (third year arts,<br />

Mississauga), linebacker Eboniel Stone (first year arts,<br />

Brampton), and defensive back Raymond “R.J.” Cornish (first<br />

year arts, Winnipeg) — were all reinstated following the end of the<br />

police inquiry, which did not result in charges.<br />

The incident was alleged to have occurred on Saturday, November<br />

6 during a house party at 5718 Inglis St., a $654,300-assessed<br />

heritage home registered to a company owned by beancounter Ian<br />

MacNeil and his wife, Centennial Hotels HR director Miriam Regan-<br />

MacNeil. The abode is used for student housing, and is a notorious<br />

party house among SMU students, with two Facebook groups dedicated<br />

to its storied history. SMU president Colin Dodds’s $1 millionassessed<br />

Young Avenue pile is a block away.<br />

Halifax Regional Police spokesthingy Brian Palmeter confirms<br />

that police received a complaint regarding a sexual assault later on the<br />

same day of the alleged incident. Brian says the investigation lasted<br />

about a week, with “all of the parties involved” being interviewed.<br />

“There was no assault,” Brian tells me.<br />

Sez a source: “I think it was one of those things where someone<br />

does something that they regret the next morning, and then they feel<br />

they have to make up an excuse.”<br />

At press time, the Huskies were preparing to do battle against the<br />

heavily-favoured Calgary Dinos in the Mitchell Bowl on November<br />

20.<br />

Does Frank Know?<br />

atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca<br />

12 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010<br />

5718 Inglis St.


Pictou County<br />

deputy sheriff<br />

Morgan Elliott<br />

(not exactly<br />

as illustrated).<br />

FRANKLAND EMPLOYEE<br />

OF THE WEEK<br />

BY A. LITTLE-NAPP<br />

IN WHAT COULD BE A FRANKLAND FIRST, A<br />

$55,000/YEAR PROVINCIAL GOVERNMENT<br />

EMPLOYEE READILY CONFESSED TO ME THAT HE<br />

SOMETIMES FALLS ASLEEP ON THE JOB.<br />

Pictou County deputy sheriff Morgan Fritz<br />

Elliott, 28ish, is a two-year veteran of Sheriff<br />

Services. He says it happens.<br />

“I dunno... I guess everyone does. Sometimes<br />

court’s boring. I guess like anybody sometimes you<br />

just nod off,” he explains, adding, “I’m not a lawyer,<br />

I don’t always understand what’s going on”.<br />

When it happens, he says it’s time to “tap out”<br />

and bring in another sheriff for relief.<br />

Truro native Morgan, whose uncle David Horner<br />

is the province’s $106,877.69/year executive director<br />

of corrections, also admitted to me that he<br />

needs relief in other areas these days. Like driving,<br />

for instance.<br />

Last April, Morgan pleaded guilty to a single count<br />

of impaired driving, garnering fines totalling $1,380<br />

and a one year driving suspension.<br />

“I’ve missed all the OT,” Morgan says, explaining<br />

that there’s no driving prisoners back and forth<br />

after hours for him these days.<br />

He says he feared losing his job over the charge,<br />

which he terms an “isolated thing”.<br />

When I initially asked newly minted Justice Dept.<br />

spokesthingy Bruce Nunn whether sheriffs working<br />

in Nova Scotia require a valid driver’s licence,<br />

he answered simply, via email, “Yes.”<br />

When I asked about Morgan’s situation, it took him<br />

nearly 20 hours to respond: “The Department of<br />

A presumably<br />

very awake<br />

Morgan Elliott<br />

prepares to ride<br />

down a ski jump<br />

on his bike in<br />

Alberta back in<br />

2007.<br />

Justice does not authorize any sheriff’s officers to<br />

drive a vehicle in the course of their duties without a<br />

valid driver’s licence.”<br />

He didn’t budge after I pressed him on his apparent<br />

contradiction, eventually closing the book on the matter,<br />

deeming my question to have been “asked and<br />

answered.”<br />

As far as the optics of Morgan’s situation — an<br />

apparently less-than-model employee with a relative<br />

who happens to be a powerful civil servant — Bruce<br />

refused comment, deeming it “private personnel information.”<br />

Morgan’s Uncle David, a former provincial director<br />

of Sheriff Services, refused to get on the line with<br />

me when I called his office, forcing me to dictate my<br />

question to his secretary, who referred me back to<br />

spokesthingy Bruce.<br />

As for Morgan, who is featured in a video on Frank’s<br />

youtube channel (www.youtube.comAtlantic<br />

FrankMag) riding a BMX bike down a ski-jump into a<br />

lake, he says his uncle never pulled any strings for<br />

him.<br />

“He can’t,” says Morgan, adding, “He’d lose his job.”<br />

One former co-worker of Morgan’s “can’t imagine”<br />

that anyone else would be allowed to stay on.<br />

“But then, Sheriff Services has always been its<br />

own little world.”<br />

You’ll likely remember that former Pictou County<br />

head sheriff Doug MacKeen survived countless<br />

complaints about showing up at work with liquor on<br />

his breath, among other things, until he ultimately<br />

parted ways with Sheriff Services in October of<br />

2009.<br />

andrew@atlanticfrank.ca<br />

HERE ARE A COUPLE<br />

OF WORDS FOR YA ...<br />

ONE HAS ONE ‘F’ AND<br />

THE OTHER HAS TWO ‘FS’<br />

BRUCE “MR. NOVA SCOTIA KNOW-<br />

IT-ALL” NUNN COMES BY HIS<br />

NICKNAME HONESTLY.<br />

For instance, when you fire off a<br />

simple question via email to the<br />

$68,412.49/year government mouthpiece,<br />

you might expect to have your<br />

spelling corrected. Bruce, retired<br />

broadcaster Jim’s little brother, pulled<br />

that one on my goodself the other day.<br />

“With the greatest respect, I believe<br />

licence requires a ‘c’ in that instance,<br />

rather than an ‘s’.”<br />

Here at Frank, we’ve long held that<br />

it’s not good form to correct another’s<br />

spelling mistakes, mostly because we<br />

all make them. Some more than others.<br />

My infamous “Chiu Says Caio” cover<br />

story (Frank 542) comes immediately<br />

to mind.<br />

Sure enough, it wasn’t two emails<br />

later when the Nimrod Nimbus-published<br />

author made an uh-oh of his<br />

own. I wish I could tell you I didn’t stoop<br />

to his level.<br />

“With all due respect, ‘sheriff’ is customarily<br />

spelled with one ‘r’ and two<br />

‘f’s, not the other way around,” I wrote.<br />

Bruce, to his credit, took it all in stride,<br />

but called his mistake a “typo.” In my<br />

mind, a “typo” occurs when you know<br />

how to spell a word but accidentally<br />

hit a wrong key. I can’t see how doubling<br />

a letter in the middle of a word<br />

and then leaving off a letter at the end<br />

could be deemed a typo. Two typos,<br />

maybe. Something tells me Bruce simply<br />

didn’t feel like changing his name to<br />

“Mr. Nova Scotia Knows-Most-<br />

Things”.<br />

Doesn’t roll off the tongue at all.<br />

DECEMBER 7, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 13


WHERE ARE THE<br />

MISSING MILLIONS?<br />

BY RIP TOFF<br />

BANKRUPTCY TRUSTEE MARK ROSEN,<br />

OF BDO DUNWOODY GOODMAN ROSEN,<br />

ADMITS “RECOVERY IS QUESTIONABLE” FOR<br />

THE MANY CREDITORS OWED OVER $12.3<br />

MILLION BY THE LATE HALIFAX BIZMAN AND<br />

PONZI SCHEME OPERATOR GLENN ALAN<br />

MACARTHUR.<br />

Documents filed at the Office of the Superintendent<br />

of Bankruptcy indicate that Barring<br />

& Company owner MacArthur — found<br />

dead in a Quality Inn Airport hotel room last<br />

May — collected at least $10 million from investors,<br />

which he guaranteed with promissory<br />

notes. In federal documents, the official reason<br />

for the estate’s bankruptcy notes: “Deceased<br />

estate may be subject to significant debts arising<br />

out of his investment activities.”<br />

In addition to the sum cited in the promissory<br />

notes, MacArthur also collected $2.3 million<br />

from a numbered company, 3020331 Nova<br />

Scotia Ltd., headquartered in 30 Troop Ave.<br />

in Burnside. The Registry of Joint Stocks<br />

lists Datarite exec Tom Rose as the company<br />

prez. Tom did not return my message.<br />

The Bank of Nova Scotia and Canada Revenue<br />

Agency are two additional creditors,<br />

whose debts are listed at a token $1.<br />

Wheeler-dealer MacArthur, who enjoyed<br />

strong ties with his fellow alumnus at Saint<br />

Mary’s U., obviously had more victims who may<br />

never come forward.<br />

Anecdotally, I’ve heard there are numerous<br />

other investors too embarrassed to admit they<br />

were suckered by the gregarious con man, who<br />

was known to promise a 90-day return, with<br />

10% interest. In the end, deals too good to be<br />

true proved to be just that.<br />

My earlier estimates that MacArthur may have<br />

scammed upwards of $20 million from his victims<br />

may still be correct.<br />

Trustee Mark tells me each claim is investigated<br />

and verified as legitimate, but would not<br />

divulge the number of victims, nor the dollar<br />

range of individual investments.<br />

“It’s an unfortunate circumstance for the family<br />

and for the investors,” he remarks.<br />

Mark does say the identity of any creditor<br />

who is reimbursed will be on the public record,<br />

but he can not give me any sort of timeline.<br />

“We are investigating and are reporting to the<br />

estate accordingly,” he says.<br />

With total debts of $12.3 million, MacArthur’s<br />

14 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010<br />

estate declared bankruptcy on Oct. 12, listing<br />

$186,213 in assets. These assets are: $10,000<br />

in furniture, a $150,000 life insurance policy,<br />

and $26,212 in RRSPs.<br />

When asked, Mark suggests MacArthur’s financial<br />

malfeasance went on for “years,” and<br />

says no answers have yet been found, to explain<br />

the missing millions.<br />

As previously reported, the MacArthur estate<br />

is the subject of a $48,470 Supreme Court<br />

lawsuit filed in September by Tracy Sherren,<br />

which appeared to be ongoing at press time.<br />

Bruce McLaughlin of Dartmouth’s<br />

Weldon McInnes (Premier Darrell Dexter’s<br />

old firm) is handling the estate’s complicated<br />

affairs.<br />

As I reported, the police fraud investigation<br />

was practically over before it started, and<br />

MacArthur’s death, reportedly by a mixture of<br />

booze and pills, was deemed “non-suspicious”<br />

(Franks 588-592, 594, 596).<br />

dan@atlanticfrank.ca<br />

Glenn MacArthur<br />

GLENN MACARTHUR’S<br />

BACHELOR PAD<br />

BY ALL ACCOUNTS, THE LATE GLENN<br />

MACARTHUR DID NOT LIVE IN BERNIE MADOFF-<br />

STYLE LUXURY, BUT HIS RENTED DIGS IN SUITE<br />

104 OF 1881 BRUNSWICK ST., SUGGESTS THE<br />

PONZI SCHEMER KEPT HIMSELF WELL-PAM-<br />

PERED.<br />

His two-bedroom pad in The Plaza - a building<br />

which also houses several out-of-town<br />

MLAs - is described as “a bachelor apartment...<br />

tidy, well-organized, and not at all dirty or<br />

sloppy,” according to a source, recently there<br />

to make an offer on MacArthur’s furnishings.<br />

According to bankruptcy trustee Mark<br />

Rosen, liquidating MacArthur’s personal belongings<br />

is his “immediate issue... returning (the<br />

apartment) back to the landlord,” a Vancouver-based<br />

realty firm.<br />

I understand Mark hoped the furniture would<br />

fetch at least $5,000 for the lot, which included<br />

a black leather chesterfield, a fancy dining set<br />

and MacArthur’s bed, mattress and bedspring.<br />

“Nobody would want that,” my source opines.<br />

The $1,070-a-month apartment, whose patio<br />

faced Brunswick Street not the harbour, featured<br />

a stainless steel barbeque, and a bedroom<br />

MacArthur had converted into his den with<br />

the help of a futon and TV.<br />

MacArthur — who also owned a Montreal<br />

condo in the trendy Lachine Canal area below<br />

the Atwater market — had his office in a<br />

smaller room that was perhaps meant for storage,<br />

which held two double filing cabinets full<br />

of neat and organized paperwork. Two more<br />

double filing cabinets stood in the hall outside<br />

the office.<br />

I’m told the contents of each cabinet were<br />

hauled off-site for Mark’s investigation.<br />

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE


MORE MISSING MONEY NEWS<br />

BY T. DOFF<br />

MULTIPLE SOURCES TELL FRANK THAT<br />

LUNENBURG DEPUTY MAYOR JAMIE “BOO”<br />

MYRA RESIGNED AS BUSINESS MANAGER AFTER<br />

MONEY WAS DISCOVERED MISSING AT THE<br />

BLUENOSE GOLF CLUB.<br />

The sum is reported to be in the ballpark of<br />

$10,000.<br />

According to the terms of Jamie’s exit, the<br />

board members signed a confidentiality letter,<br />

agreeing not to discuss the matter, Frank has<br />

learned.<br />

It is believed that the venerable golf club (est.<br />

1923) did receive restitution for the missing sum.<br />

I understand at no point were police contacted<br />

about the missing funds.<br />

President of the board Craig Munroe, of<br />

Craig Munroe Financial Services, has not<br />

returned my repeated messages.<br />

Jamie is understood to have resigned in the<br />

late spring or early summer.<br />

His departure coincided with the board resignation<br />

of treasurer Terry Baker, the former<br />

BACHELOR PAD, FROM PREVIOUS PAGE<br />

Off the main bedroom was an Imelda<br />

Marcos-worthy closet, lined with dozens of<br />

well-tailored suits, and a motorized tie rack that<br />

held an estimated 50 or 60 silk ties.<br />

“He always gave you the illusion of prosperity,<br />

even when he was dressed casually,” remarks<br />

one longtime acquaintance, when told of<br />

the 52-year-old’s wardrobe.<br />

No artwork adorned the walls, but in the living<br />

room several black & white framed pictures<br />

were hung, including an older photo of<br />

MacArthur sitting in a cop car, posing beside an<br />

officer - possibly his brother Tim MacArthur,<br />

a now-retired RCMP officer.<br />

“They should have put him in the back seat<br />

and drove him to the station,” jokes one of his<br />

victims.<br />

Vacant since his May 18th death,<br />

MacArthur’s apartment portrays him as a man<br />

always at the ready for entertaining guests.<br />

The epitome of a smooth bizman, MacArthur<br />

boasted a wine collection estimated at “a couple<br />

hundred bottles,” as well as a 4.5-foot high<br />

cabinet humidor, chock full of cigars.<br />

Still, acquaintances say his bachelor lifestyle<br />

does not jive with his criminal activites.<br />

If MacArthur was ripping off everyone in sight<br />

— and in the last six weeks of his life he was<br />

said to be desperate, hitting up even old acquaintances<br />

— what kept him around?<br />

“If he scammed that much money, why didn’t<br />

he get the fuck out of the country? Why didn’t<br />

he jump on a plane, if he had so many people<br />

after him? It doesn’t make sense,” one victim<br />

CFL star. A source tells me Terry has taken his<br />

golfing talents to Osprey.<br />

Sources indicate that Terry disagreed with<br />

the board’s kid g<strong>love</strong> treatment of the incident.<br />

Frank has obtained an email, purportedly sent<br />

on August 4 from club officials, stating (quoted<br />

in full): “The Executive of the Bluenose Golf Club<br />

would like to verify that Jamie Myra was not<br />

fired but he did in fact resign from his position<br />

as Business Manager of the Club earlier this<br />

year. This statement has been issued to clear<br />

up some of the confusion that seems to be circulating<br />

around the club at the moment regarding<br />

this issue.”<br />

In late September, Myra competed in the<br />

Men’s Club Championship at the scenic<br />

course, overlooking Old Town Lunenburg.<br />

Displaying a measure of grace under pressure<br />

(Pressure? In a game where you strike a tiny<br />

ball into a hole? — ed.), Myra finished with the<br />

lowest course score.<br />

Myra, who runs the Stan’s Dad & Lad clothing<br />

shop, did not respond to my detailed Nov. 18<br />

email query. Nor has he responded to multiple<br />

The Plaza<br />

says.<br />

Informed of his estate’s recent $12.3 million<br />

bankrupcty, one MacArthur acquaintance simply<br />

asked, “How do you get that much money<br />

accumulated in debt?”<br />

In a nutshell, the mystery is this: what happened<br />

to all the money?<br />

Jamie Myra,<br />

not playing<br />

golf.<br />

phone messages I have left over the past month,<br />

at his house and his business, relating to his<br />

Bluenose Golf Club departure.<br />

Myra resides in a $171,600-assessed abode<br />

on Broad Street with his wife Sandy. His haberdasher<br />

father, also James Myra, ran Stan’s<br />

Dad & Lad and also the next-door Famous<br />

Ladies Town Shop.<br />

A long-time councillor, Deputy Mayor Myra is<br />

the current serving president of the<br />

Lunenburg Board of Trade.<br />

dan@atlanticfrank.ca<br />

Glenn MacArthur was discovered dead in a<br />

hotel room in the Quality Inn hotel, not far from<br />

the Stanfield International airport.<br />

Friends wonder why he went to the hotel<br />

that night, instead of going home to his apartment<br />

in the Plaza.<br />

dan@atlanticfrank.ca<br />

DECEMBER 7, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 15


THREE AND A HALF YEARS AFTER DAL PROF DAVID<br />

DIVINE WAS ALMOST FATALLY MOWED DOWN BY AN<br />

mid-afternoon jog when she was struck — also by an<br />

SUV — at Robie & Inglis.<br />

OUT-OF-CONTROL SUV ON A CLAYTON PARK Taken to hospital, she underwent surgery for what<br />

SIDEWALK, COMES WORD THAT DR. DIANNE DELVA, police are calling a “significant leg injury”; I’m told she’s<br />

THE UNIVERSITY’S $200K-A-YEAR ASSOCIATE DEAN<br />

OF UNDERGRADUATE MEDICINE, IS ON THE MEND AF-<br />

TER BEING HIT IN A SOUTH END CROSSWALK NOV.<br />

11.<br />

expected to make a full recovery.<br />

Dr. Marie Matte, an assistant professor and Dal’s<br />

Director of Faculty Development, is pinch-hitting for<br />

Dr. Dianne while she convalesces.<br />

Police issued Dr. Dianne’s vehicular assailant, a yet-<br />

Queen’s grad Dianne, the 58-year-old missus of to-be-identified 21-year-old female, a $682 ticket for<br />

Dal Psychiatry czar Dr. Nick Delva, was out for a failing to yield to a pedestrian.<br />

Dr. Dianne Delva<br />

16 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010<br />

BIRTHDAY BASH NEWS<br />

I’M HAPPY TO HEAR A GAY OL’ TIME WAS HAD BY THOSE FORTUNATE<br />

ENOUGH TO BE INVITED TO ALLNOVASCOTIA.COM HACK ANDREW<br />

MACDONALD’S BIRTHDAY FESTIVITIES LAST WEEK AT THE HALF-MILLION<br />

DOLLAR BLAND STREET ESTATE OF HIS V. DEAR FRIEND, PRUDENTIAL REAL-<br />

ESTATE GUY RICK FOSTER.<br />

Little Vatican native Andrew, who served as editor of a certain bi-weekly<br />

family magazine during the two-year publishing tenure of Glace Bay writer<br />

extraordinaire Cliff “A. Frank Grunt” Boutilier, turned 43.<br />

Among those on hand to fete the one-time Port Hawkesbury reporter were<br />

retired St. F.X. professor Dr. Gary Brooks, Scott Brison’s right-hand man Dale<br />

Palmeter, and former N.S. Liberal communications fella Layton Dorey.<br />

Representing the allnovascotia.com contingent were Frank co-founder David<br />

Bentley, his daughter, Frank publisher-turned-allnovascotia.com publisher Caroline<br />

Wood, and whilom Metro News grunt Paul McLeod.<br />

CHATTER<br />

BY BUBBLES<br />

FRANKLANDER<br />

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○<br />

Andrew Black<br />

& Christa<br />

Fisher.<br />

ANOTHER SCARY PROF<br />

VS SUV ENCOUNTER<br />

CHRISTA WILL<br />

BE ANDREW’S<br />

WEDDING BELLE<br />

THE DAUGHTER OF A LOBSTER FISHER-<br />

MAN FROM PORT MOUTON IS TRAPPING UP<br />

ONE OF THE MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELORS<br />

IN NOVA SCOTIA.<br />

Andrew Black, the one-time failed provincial<br />

Tory candidate and son of Maritime Life<br />

magnate and failed Tory leadership candidate<br />

Bill Black, proposed to salty doll Christa Fisher<br />

this past Thanksgiving.<br />

Christa’s separated parents are Rhonda<br />

Dunn of Moncton, and Port Mouton lobsterman<br />

Robin Fisher, an anti-fish farm activist with<br />

something called the Friends of Port Mouton.<br />

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE


WEDDING BELLE, FROM PREVIOUS PAGE<br />

Cousin Stacey Fisher, whose father is Robin’s<br />

younger brother, Martin, says Christa went<br />

to live with her mother in Moncton at a young<br />

age when her parents separated, but still visited<br />

her father every summer.<br />

Christa’s grandfather, Earl Fisher, lives close<br />

by, as does a lot more of the family.<br />

Black says he met the Ikea-loving <strong>love</strong>ly lady,<br />

who he says is about 29 years old, at a wedding<br />

three and a half years ago.<br />

The wedding, for friends Rob Bay and Ellen<br />

Lewis, who, like Black and Fisher, are Mount<br />

Allison graduates, showed him that she was<br />

“a beautiful girl, and a fun girl.” Her cousin<br />

Stacey calls her, “Beautiful, smart, sweet and<br />

kind,” with a <strong>love</strong> of travelling.<br />

After a long courtship, he finally proposed<br />

during a romantic trip around the Cabot Trail.<br />

Black’s betrothed has gone back to school to<br />

study theraputic recreation (what dat? — ed.)<br />

at Dalhousie, putting aside her interior designer<br />

career for the time being.<br />

Black won’t say if his political aspirations were<br />

kaput, but he’s currently working at Nicom<br />

Maritime, the local division of a seaport-control<br />

software firm, as a software consultant.<br />

The wedding will be at the $1.2 million-assessed<br />

Black Family Cottage on Herman’s<br />

Island next summer.<br />

Cottage? “OK, it’s more like a summer home,”<br />

Black admits.<br />

He says their current favourite thing to do as<br />

a loving, committed couple, other than practicing<br />

theraputic recreation, I presume, is “dodging calls<br />

from Frank Magazine.”<br />

If you’re asking for more opportunities to do<br />

this, I’m certain we can oblige you.<br />

Father of the bride<br />

Robin Fisher.<br />

WORSHIPPING<br />

THE BOTTOM LINE<br />

BY JEN U. FLECK<br />

A BIG, FAT FRANKLAND “BAH, HUMBUG!” TO<br />

BISHOP SUE MOXLEY, WHOSE TIGHT-FISTED<br />

REIGN IS FAST RESEMBLING EBENEZER<br />

SCROOGE’S ON CHRISTMAS EVE.<br />

The region’s spiritual leader for the ever-dwindling<br />

pocket of Anglican faith, Bishop Sue<br />

seems more at home wearing a beancounter’s<br />

visor than her big pointy hat.<br />

In fact, like her predecessor (now Primate)<br />

Fred Hiltz, Bishop Sue can favourably be compared<br />

to a penny-pinching, parish-merging,<br />

church-closing, bookstore-gutting, propertyrazing<br />

corporate henchman.<br />

The church appears to be veering away from<br />

its loyal footsoldiers, and embracing novelty<br />

acts like having an Anglican priest bless the<br />

congregation’s Blackberries, and other technological<br />

gadgets. Have you ever heard of such<br />

foolishness?<br />

I know if I was a commuter at the ferry terminal,<br />

and diminutive Bishop Sue, in her big pointy<br />

hat, was handing out Sunday service invites<br />

(as she is wont to do for the annual PR-thingy,<br />

imaginatively called Back To Church Sunday),<br />

I would politely decline to take one.<br />

While I understand the church is desperate<br />

for warm bodies (although lots of people show<br />

up to view the cold ones), in her single-minded<br />

pursuit of cold, hard cash, Bishop Sue runs the<br />

risk of alienating even some of her most loyal<br />

flock.<br />

Sue’s latest act of uncharitableness comes<br />

after her Diocesan Council braintrust approved<br />

its new budget for 2011, drawn up to<br />

eliminate a projected $130,000 deficit.<br />

Visit your church<br />

before I close it.<br />

HOLY<br />

WRIT<br />

Bishop Sue<br />

in action.<br />

With its pot of gold already allocated to the<br />

glory of Halifax’s All Saints Cathedral, Sue’s<br />

fellow henchmen were forced to cut costs<br />

closer to home.<br />

They’d already knocked down Sue’s home -<br />

the historic Bishop’s House - plus the Diocese<br />

office, and rammed their deal with Joe<br />

Shannon’s nursing empire through the Utility<br />

& Review Board after its plans were initially<br />

kiboshed by HRM, so I guess a pound of human<br />

flesh was required.<br />

In their infinite enlightenment, Sue and her<br />

Council decided to squeeze $45,000 from the<br />

Synod Office staff budget, knowing full well<br />

that an axe would have to fall on someone.<br />

As Cannon Gordon Redden announced in<br />

the November Diocesan Times, long-time<br />

staffer Kelly Appleton courageously stepped<br />

up to the guillotine and allowed herself to be<br />

beheaded.<br />

Kelly is widely known as a loyal and efficient<br />

worker, and I’m told she volunteered to leave<br />

her job in order to spare anyone else from losing<br />

theirs. If only Bishop Sue, Cannon Redden,<br />

and the rest of the Diocese Council acted with<br />

such Christian spirit.<br />

Kelly’s job ends a week after Christmas.<br />

dan@atlanticfrank.ca<br />

DECEMBER 7, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 17


HYDROSTONE<br />

CAFE STAFF<br />

SAY WHERE’S<br />

THE DOUGH?<br />

BY PENNY LESS<br />

FORMER WORKERS AT A SHUTTERED NORTH<br />

END CAFE SAY THEY’VE BEEN STIFFED FOR<br />

THEIR LAST PAYCHEQUES.<br />

Patrick Doherty, who owned The<br />

Hydrostone Cafe at 5530 Kaye Street, left<br />

seven employees in a lurch for almost $3,000<br />

worth of wages, they say.<br />

Doherty was supposed to pay his staff the<br />

week of Oct. 15, but when manager Rosemary<br />

McKernan walked by the cafe the night<br />

of the 16th, she noticed the windows had been<br />

being papered, though the lights were still on<br />

inside.<br />

“I had a heart attack when I saw it,” said<br />

McKernan. She put her key in the lock to go in,<br />

but the lock had been changed, and no one<br />

answered the door.<br />

She says many employees had left important<br />

items inside, including a guitar, a personal laptop,<br />

and hundreds of dollars worth of local art.<br />

Building owner William Alsop says Doherty<br />

showed up the next day with a key for him.<br />

“He just appeared here and gave me a key,<br />

said he’d changed the locks, and said he’s closing<br />

for a little while.”<br />

He says Doherty is still paying rent.<br />

A month later, McKernan says she and her<br />

former co-workers are still in the midst of a<br />

labour dispute.<br />

It may have been a “hard location,” McKernan<br />

admits, but since she’d started in June, business<br />

had gone up 700 per cent, she says, and<br />

they had begun to break even.<br />

“Had (Doherty) waited one more month, he<br />

would have been making money,” said counter<br />

staff Moriah Rose.<br />

“The last day, it was full all day. It was such a<br />

good environment.”<br />

She says one day as she and McKernan<br />

were driving by, they noticed Doherty inside<br />

with four others. With month-old baked goods<br />

still sitting on the shelves, Moriah says she<br />

asked if Doherty was “ever going to pay us.”<br />

She says he said yes, but the people he was<br />

meeting left quickly and awkwardly during the<br />

confrontation.<br />

Doherty has not returned calls from Frank.<br />

McKernan is on EI and applying for SEED funding<br />

to open a cafe of her own, and Moriah is<br />

working at a Boston Pizza in Lower Sackville.<br />

neal@atlanticfrank.ca<br />

18 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010<br />

It was this curious chalkboard Leviticus quote that tipped Frank off to the plight<br />

of Hydrostone Cafe workers Rosemary McKernan (left) and Moriah Rose.<br />

NOTHING COOKING YET AT THE AGNS<br />

NOBODY WANTED TO TAKE OVER THE<br />

CHEAPSIDE CAFE SPACE IN THE ART GALLERY<br />

OF NOVA SCOTIA.<br />

But after the tenders closed Oct. 18,<br />

Armview Restaurant and Lounge owner<br />

George Kapetanakis bought Unni<br />

Simensen’s equipment and put in an offer.<br />

“We are actually looking into it, but nothing’s<br />

official yet,” he said from the Armview early<br />

one morning, adding: “We didn’t actually need<br />

all the equipment.”<br />

He said they’re already using some of it in the<br />

rotary-gazing eatery, and took the rest “out of<br />

the AGNS already, until the deal is for sure.”<br />

Scanway Catering’s Simensen says it was<br />

time for her to get out.<br />

“There’s never any parties at the gallery any<br />

more, and that’s why we opened, not for the<br />

cafe,” said Simensen, who says the cafe only<br />

did lunch.<br />

“It was so little kitchen space, you could never<br />

really do anything.”<br />

“The space is potentially going to be larger,”<br />

said Kapetanakis, “so there’s definitely some<br />

investment that would have to go into this place.”<br />

Kapetanakis wouldn’t get into numbers.


CRAVING A TINY SLICE OF CUBA BUT<br />

CAN’T WING THE AIRFARE? GOOD NEWS,<br />

HALIFAX! SWEET-FRIED PLAINTAINS WILL<br />

SOON BE BUT A $2.25 METRO TRANSIT<br />

BUS RIDE AWAY.<br />

Barring any unexpected liquor-licence snafus,<br />

Havana Nights, a new Cuban restaurant and<br />

lounge setting up shop in the old Mexicali Rosa’s<br />

locale at 5680 Spring Garden Road, expects<br />

to be open for business by Friday, Nov.<br />

26.<br />

The second-floor eatery, owned by Cubanborn<br />

chums Yojainy Maceo and Josvany<br />

Rodriguez, held it’s invitation-only VIP grand<br />

opening Nov. 19, allowing their group of selected<br />

guests to sample a number of traditional<br />

Cuban dishes, including Moros Y Cristianos<br />

(rice and black beans), Masas de Cerdo Frita<br />

(fried chunks of pork) and Picadilio a la<br />

Habanera (Cuban style ground beef).<br />

BY BUSTER BARR<br />

FOOD<br />

FOR<br />

THOUGHT<br />

HALIVANA<br />

DREAMING<br />

ANOTHER DQ MELTDOWN<br />

IS THERE ANY SADDER SIGHT IN THE WORLD<br />

THAN THAT OF A HAPPY FRANKLANDER<br />

SKIPPING DOWN TO THE LOCAL ICE-CREAM<br />

PARLOUR, ONLY TO FIND IT DARK AND<br />

SHUTTERED?<br />

First it was Bedford, then Tantallon, and<br />

now the Dairy Queen on Spring Garden<br />

Road is gone like a Dilly Bar in a fat kid’s hand.<br />

I couldn’t reach franchise owner Bill Buotte,<br />

but another franchisee wonders if needed renos<br />

were just out of reach.<br />

“He only had a short-term lease there, and<br />

the building owner, he wasn’t going to give him<br />

any kind of lease,” said Eugene Pettipas, the<br />

owner of the Dairy Queen franchise on Dutch<br />

Village Road.<br />

There were still cakes in the freezer when an<br />

Meredith Stanfield, Chris Haley, and Melody-Anne Klein.<br />

Though the pork was a bit on the dry side, the<br />

surroundings were colourful and inviting. Much<br />

like the staff, which includes bartender Chris<br />

“I Only Go By” Haley, a former Boston Pizza<br />

toiler; server Melody-Anne Klein, who I un-<br />

intrepid Frank reporter peeked inside Nov. 11,<br />

several days after first noticing the shop was<br />

shuttered. Calls to the shop since then have<br />

gone unanswered. Buott, who runs the Dairy<br />

Queen through F. & B. Buott Enterprises Inc.,<br />

didn’t return calls to Frank.<br />

The $664,800 building on the corner of South<br />

Park, owned by Peter Klemronomos and<br />

his wife Gertrude since 1969, now sits empty.<br />

Pettipas suggested it could probably go for as<br />

much as $3 million today, and developer Luigi<br />

Benigni agrees.<br />

Pettipas wonders if the short term of the lease<br />

scared Buott from spending the hundreds of<br />

thousands of dollars in “modernization” the franchise<br />

would have required.<br />

“You either have to remodel, or get out,” he<br />

said.<br />

The Kleronomoses’ building is in the key cor-<br />

derstand was wooed away from the nearby<br />

Oasis Pub; and fellow serveuse Meredith<br />

Stanfield, a great-niece of former N.S. premier<br />

Robert L. Stanfield, who previously worked<br />

at Ducky’s in Dartmouth.<br />

ner position on that block, but getting it from him<br />

could be impossible. Gregory Arab, who owns<br />

both properties adjacent to the Dairy Queen building,<br />

was considering building an L-shaped building<br />

around it in April, because the<br />

Kleronomoses wasn’t willing to sell. Benigni also<br />

offered to buy the erection at least once, and, “I<br />

don’t think they’re ready to make the decision.”<br />

If the building sold for $3 million, Benigni says,<br />

you’d have to own both pieces of land next to it<br />

(as Greg Arab does), and build at least 12 storeys<br />

high, and develop 25,000 square feet of<br />

space. Otherwise, Benigni says, “I think it’s a<br />

waste of time.”<br />

And if it were built as office space, you’d<br />

need good, well-heeled commercial renters, and<br />

“there’s no market for that.”<br />

“<strong>Ever</strong>ything is relative; it doesn’t matter what<br />

you pay for the land, as long as you can build<br />

something and break even,” said Benigni.<br />

“If (you can’t), you have to say to yourself,<br />

‘Why am I doing that?’”<br />

neal@atlanticfrank.ca<br />

DECEMBER 7, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 19


INDIAN STORE MEETS BULLDOZER<br />

BY XXX<br />

VAUGHAN PICTOU SAYS NOT ONLY DID THE<br />

ACADIA FIRST NATION BAND PUSH HIM OUT OF<br />

BUSINESS BY OPENING TWO COMPETING STORES<br />

IN THE COMMUNITY, BUT HE ALSO RECENTLY<br />

HAD TO WATCH HIS STORE AND THE GARAGE<br />

BEHIND IT BEING DEMOLISHED.<br />

“Nothing left at all. It’s gone. It’s just a clean<br />

parking lot,” he says.<br />

Pictou concedes he ignored five or six notices<br />

to vacate the property. He says nine days<br />

after the most recent one had expired (Nov. 8),<br />

he picked up some supplies from the closed<br />

store and left. Almost immediately, “I got a call,<br />

and they said, ‘They just put an excavator<br />

through your building!’”<br />

Chief Debbie Robinson, one of the longest-serving<br />

chiefs in Canada, and the rest of<br />

the band council, has been “after it and after it,”<br />

Pictou says.<br />

“They say it’s abandoned, but it’s not, I use it<br />

as my shop. It’s a commercial spot on Starrs<br />

Road (the community’s main drag). It’s a prime<br />

location,” he said, suggesting the band wants<br />

to develop it.<br />

Chief Debbie did not reply to Frank’s requests<br />

for comment.<br />

Billy Bartlett, who bought the two-bay, 12year-old<br />

garage behind the store from Pictou<br />

to keep appliances and other material for his<br />

five apartment buildings on the reserve, says<br />

at least Vaughan had some notice the building<br />

was going to be demolished.<br />

“Nothing was done, in any way shape or form<br />

(to notify me); it was just retarded,” said Bartlett.<br />

“It’s bullying, that’s what I’d call it.”<br />

As the legal owner of the garage, he should<br />

have been getting the same notices as Vaughan,<br />

he says, adding he’s out thousands of dollars<br />

and has lost an important revenue stream as<br />

well; he planned to rent the garage out as vehicle<br />

storage over the winter.<br />

“I just wanted to know about it, and now I’ve<br />

got lawyer expenses, and I’ve lost all my stuff,”<br />

Billy says.<br />

Bartlett says he called the police to stop the<br />

demolition, but when they showed up they told<br />

him it was a civil matter. Mind you, his building<br />

had already been flattened.<br />

Both Pictou and Bartlett say there have been<br />

no sincere attempts at compensation.<br />

“They could have negotiated this with me and<br />

Vaughan and had this resolved easily,” Bartlett<br />

says.<br />

One offer was made to Pictou: a number so<br />

low, Bartlett says he wouldn’t have taken it for<br />

the smaller garage building, let alone the two<br />

buildings together.<br />

They say after the demolition, the band refused<br />

to return either man’s calls.<br />

20 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010<br />

“(Acadia Band) wouldn’t even take the phone<br />

calls three hours later. (Chief Debbie Robinson)<br />

wouldn’t even talk with the police three hours<br />

later, and when I finally did discuss it with (the<br />

band), they said, ‘Don’t worry, everything will<br />

be fine.’”<br />

Bartlett is worried.<br />

“I know people who got their land expropriated<br />

from them, and it worked A-1 in the worst<br />

case scenario: they broke even; but now I don’t<br />

know what the situation is. They can tie me up<br />

in court, and I’ll use up all my money.”<br />

Pictou is more philosophical.<br />

“I’m almost 60 years old, so I don’t get upset<br />

any more,” he said.<br />

“I get a lawyer and deal with it.”<br />

neal@atlanticfrank.ca<br />

PRECISION RUNS OUT OF TAPE<br />

THE COMPANY THAT INVENTED THE ATV<br />

LIVE EYE AND MILITARY VIDEO FITTINGS<br />

FOR FRIGATES HAS SUNK.<br />

“Nobody wants to support a local business<br />

anymore,” says former manager Peter<br />

MacDonald.<br />

PCI Precision Camera, at 201 Brownlow<br />

Ave. in Burnside, was a professional video,<br />

audio, and technical supply company, with such<br />

clients as CTV, Global, and the Canadian Navy.<br />

MacDonald says he was caught off-guard<br />

Monday, but not too surprised, when he got a<br />

call from Precision headquarters in Toronto,<br />

telling him to shut ’er down.<br />

Though he’s working for the receivers, he<br />

admitted, at this point, “I’m not really sure what<br />

I’m supposed to be doing. I’m left in limbo.”<br />

He assumes they’ll just sell off the stock, and<br />

close the location entirely.<br />

ING Real Estate, which owns the building,<br />

wouldn’t say whether PCI had been paying their<br />

rent.<br />

MacDonald started the business in 1994 as<br />

PemTek Technologies, and sold to Precision<br />

Camera in 1999. With the shutdown, he, his<br />

brother Ron, and two other employees, all with<br />

more than 10 years experience, are out of jobs.<br />

They’ve seen a huge decline, MacDonald said,<br />

and it had been a while since they’d even been<br />

a break-even business.<br />

“Our bread and butter stuff, small cameras,<br />

tapes, has virtually died out, because people<br />

just order stuff on the internet,” he says.<br />

PCI installed all the new television studio equipment<br />

for the NSCC Waterfront Campus in<br />

Dartmouth, and at one time was a major supplier<br />

of AV equipment to schools in Halifax. And<br />

15 years ago, it was designing monitoring systems<br />

for Navy frigates.<br />

“And the ATV Live Eye, well, that was designed<br />

before any of the web cameras were<br />

started, back in ’94,” MacDonald boasts.<br />

But the local big-ticket contracts have all but<br />

petered out, with even core customers like CTV<br />

and Global cutting back. Global’s engineering<br />

manager Dennis Disque admits the station has<br />

been going directly through companies like Sony<br />

more and more, or ordering online.<br />

“It’s the day of the internet, isn’t it? It’s probably<br />

one of the reasons smaller dealers are<br />

being squeezed out of the middle,” he said.<br />

But Disque says he’ll miss dealing with Peter,<br />

who he’s known for almost 30 years.<br />

“I’m sorry to see people like that go, because<br />

they have connections with suppliers that I can’t<br />

have, and they can provide a loaner,” he said.<br />

“Peter’s a survivor. That’s why I like dealing<br />

with people like Peter. He’ll bounce right back.”<br />

neal@atlanticfrank.ca<br />

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keywords: Atlantic<br />

Canada Frank


THE DOPE ON THE QUEENS COUNCILLOR<br />

BY MARY JAYNE<br />

A QUEENS MUNICIPAL COUNCILLOR BELIEVES<br />

SHE’S THE TARGET OF A SMEAR CAMPAIGN<br />

WHICH AIMS TO DAMAGE HER CHANCES OF<br />

BECOMING MAYOR IN 2012.<br />

Schoolteacher Darlene Norman, who represents<br />

the Port Mouton area, wonders why<br />

someone would contact my organ to relay a<br />

recent conversation she had with District Five<br />

Councillor Mervin Hartlen’s wife Bernadette,<br />

during which Bernadette accused her<br />

of bringing marijuana to a municipal conference<br />

some years back.<br />

A likely faceoff in the next municipal election<br />

pits Darlene against retired surveyor Mervin for<br />

the mayor’s chair, which is currently held by<br />

John Leefe.<br />

The convo in question occurred when Darlene<br />

and some of her fellow councillors were relaxing<br />

in a Sydney hotel room during the annual<br />

Union of Nova Scotia Municipalities convention<br />

in October. As Darlene tells it, Bernadette<br />

reminisced aloud about the time Darlene dropped<br />

her purse on the floor at a long-past Montreal<br />

convention, and Bernadette spotted a stash of<br />

pot inside.<br />

“I said to her, ‘You’re crazy’,” Darlene tells me,<br />

CATCHING UP ON THE<br />

JUDGE SCANLAN CASE<br />

IT MAY BE NEWS TO ALLNOVASCOTIA.COM AND nal Code criteria, the aforementioned RCMP<br />

THE CHRONICLE HERALD, BUT SUPREME documents indicate Ted told them he knew Pe-<br />

COURT BENCHWARMER TED<br />

ter MacKay personally and was going to con-<br />

SCANLAN’S RECENT JUDICIAL<br />

REASSIGNMENT RESULTING FROM<br />

A CANADIAN JUDICIAL COUNCIL<br />

CONDUCT PROBE DOESN’T COME<br />

AS A HUGE SURPRISE HERE AT THE<br />

tact the minister and possibly make<br />

arrangements for the folks at Foreign<br />

Affairs to contact the British<br />

Military regarding Gary.<br />

Ted’s longstanding ties to Pictou<br />

County’s powerful MacKay clan<br />

FRANK BUNKER, GIVEN I FIRST<br />

are hardly a secret. In 1988, Ted<br />

REPORTED ON THE CJC MATTER<br />

served as campaign manager to Pe-<br />

TWO YEARS AGO.<br />

ter’s dad Elmer MacKay, a<br />

You may recall that it was back<br />

Mulroney-era cabinet minister.<br />

When asked about this, via court<br />

in Frank 544 that I told you Texas<br />

spokesthingy John Piccolo, two<br />

oil engineer Gary Willmore<br />

planned to file a complaint with the<br />

years ago, Ted assured me he could<br />

not, would not, and did not contact<br />

august legal body regarding RCMP<br />

the Central Nova MP Peter.<br />

documents stating Ted threatened Ted Scanlan<br />

to use his political pull with then-<br />

In May 2009 Ted declined to comment<br />

on a report I’d received (Frank 559) argu-<br />

Foreign Affairs minister Peter MacKay to<br />

ing that the CJC had received Gary’s complaint<br />

settle a personal matter involving former secret-agent<br />

man Gary and his now ex-wife,<br />

and had commenced an investigation.<br />

Does Frank Know?<br />

Crown prosecutor Karen Quigley back in<br />

atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca<br />

January 2007.<br />

Ted and Karen, serial divorcers currently<br />

married to one another, were in a relationship at<br />

the time.<br />

DR. JUDY’S TROUBLES<br />

Drawing on Gary’s connections to the British<br />

Special Air Service (SAS), one of the<br />

world’s best-known and well-respected elite<br />

forces ops — Karen once stated he had experience<br />

as “a sniper and explosives expert” —<br />

Ted argued Gary had the means to make good<br />

on an alleged threat contained in an email to<br />

Karen.<br />

When the cops failed to lay charges arguing<br />

that the so-called threat failed to meet Crimi-<br />

MORE TROUBLE FOR SOUTH END HEAD-<br />

SHRINKER DR. JUDY MILLS.<br />

Earlier this month, the Bank of Nova Scotia<br />

filed suit against Dr. Judy — the ex-wife of provincial<br />

Deputy Minister Rick Williams and<br />

the estranged wife of Ecology Action Centre<br />

policy director Mark Butler — alleging she’s<br />

defaulted on a $320,000 personal credit agreement<br />

inked in June 2009.<br />

adding: “I might smoke pot, but I do not take it to<br />

anything that involves my duties on council...<br />

besides, that would’ve meant taking it on a plane,<br />

for fuck’s sake.”<br />

For his part, Milton-area representative<br />

Mervin says “things... came up about all kinds<br />

of different things” that night at the Days Inn. In<br />

a subsequent e-mail, Darlene called the situation<br />

disheartening.<br />

“What is most annoying is that the contents of<br />

that email seem to indicate that someone who I<br />

view as a team member on council is far from<br />

that,” Darlene writes.<br />

andrew@atlanticfrank.ca<br />

SPEAKING<br />

OF KAREN...<br />

WHEN ASKED ABOUT KAREN QUIGLEY’S<br />

RECENT AND SEEMINGLY LENGTHY ABSENCE<br />

FROM HER HUBTOWN OFFICE, PUBLIC<br />

PROSECUTION SPOKESTHINGY CHRIS HANSEN<br />

HAD NOTHING TO SAY ON THE MATTER EXCEPT<br />

TO ASSURE ME THAT KAREN IS STILL V. MUCH<br />

EMPLOYED BY THE DEPARTMENT AND CONTINUES<br />

TO BE BASED OUT OF TRURO.<br />

I was unable to reach Karen — or anyone at<br />

her office, for that matter — prior to press time;<br />

no one there seems to know how to answer<br />

the phone. Go figure.<br />

That said, I wasn’t able to ask her why, exactly,<br />

she hasn’t been around of late. I’m told<br />

she’s been out of the office for more than a<br />

month.<br />

Don’t worry, though, I’m told she’s fine. In fact,<br />

she and her fourth husband, Supreme Court<br />

Justice Ted Scanlan were spotted on the<br />

steps of the Liberty County Courthouse in<br />

Texas in the past couple of weeks.<br />

Word has it the trip revolved around divorcesettlement<br />

concerns involving Karen’s third exhusband,<br />

Limey oil engineer Gary Willmore,<br />

who’s writing a book about their epic, crossborder<br />

divorce battle.<br />

The lawsuit states that Judy and Mark executed<br />

a retail collateral mortgage on their Grant<br />

Street home off Tower Road as security.<br />

Bank-filed documents located at the Halifax<br />

Law Courts allege Judy, whose licence was<br />

suspended by the N.S. College of Physicians<br />

& Surgeons in April, defaulted on the agreement<br />

on June 1 and by Sept. 30 owed rougly<br />

$317,000.<br />

The bank is now seeking payment in full and<br />

is prepared to initiate foreclosure proceedings<br />

if it doesn’t get it.<br />

DECEMBER 7, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 21


MARK D’S<br />

BANKRUPTCY<br />

DISBARRED HALIFAX LEGAL BEAGLE A. MARK<br />

DAVID HAS FILED FOR BANKRUPTCY.<br />

In documents housed with the Office of the<br />

Superintendent of Bankruptcy Mark, who’s<br />

set to turn 51 on Dec. 2, blames “loss of major<br />

employment” for his financial woes.<br />

It was widely reported last year that Mark, a<br />

1982 Dal Law grad who received his Q.C. designation<br />

in 2003, consented to disbarment after<br />

the N.S. Barrister’s Society found he’d<br />

breached nine chapters of the Legal Ethics<br />

Handbook.<br />

Claiming his actions (which included assisting<br />

a client in “apparently dishonest conduct”)<br />

“damaged the honour and integrity of the entire<br />

legal profession,” the Society repossessed his<br />

legal sheepskin and ordered him to cough up<br />

$300K and change in costs.<br />

That sum is the largest single debt on Mark’s<br />

list of claimed liabilities, which total just under<br />

$445,000.<br />

Included in that list is approximately $66,000<br />

owed to the Taxman (documents also indicate<br />

Mark has been subject to a CRA garnishment)<br />

and $35,000 owing to Ridgewood Drive denizen<br />

R.B. Cameron.<br />

Also on the list of debtors is Upper Tantallon<br />

resident Michael Meisner.<br />

Earlier this year, Michael and his numbered<br />

company - 2323230 Nova Scotia Limited -<br />

named Mark as a defendant in a lawsuit filed<br />

against the CanGlobe Financial Group and<br />

CanGlobe International Capital, an alleged<br />

Ponzi scheme, as well as bookkeeper Doug<br />

Rudolph, Doug’s dentist brother Dr. Gordie<br />

Rudolph, a numbered company operated by<br />

Gordie and Rosebank Avenue denizen Richard<br />

Connolly, and businessman Peter Mill.<br />

Michael’s ongoing suit, which claims he invested<br />

over $800,000 with CanGlobe, identifies<br />

Mark as the company’s lawyer.<br />

No financial figure is attached to Michael’s<br />

name in Mark’s bankruptcy documents, which<br />

lists $75,000 in claimed assets, including<br />

$71,000 in BMO Nesbitt Burns holdings and<br />

$4,000 worth of furniture.<br />

The deed to the David abode, located at 45<br />

Chartwell Lane, remains solely in wife<br />

Susan’s name and therefore does not form part<br />

of Mark’s estate.<br />

A $383,000 foreclosure action filed by the TD<br />

Bank, which holds the 2009 mortgage to Susan’s<br />

pad, was discontinued Nov. 17, thereby cancelling<br />

a Nov. 19 foreclosure sale at the Halifax<br />

Law Courts.<br />

Does Frank Know?<br />

atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca<br />

22 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010<br />

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN<br />

BY K. INKY<br />

CHLOE, THE MYSTERIOUS FIGURE BEHIND THE<br />

SECRETS OF A HALIFAX COURTESAN BLOG<br />

(FRANK 594), IS APPARENTLY CALLING IT A<br />

DAY.<br />

“Alas, dear readers, this blog came to public<br />

light far too quickly, garnering the wrong kind of<br />

attention that did not die off as I expected it<br />

would,” writes Chloe in a November 1 posting.<br />

“Thank you for all your <strong>love</strong> and support, and<br />

I shall continue my private correspondence with<br />

those of you whom I’ve chosen.”<br />

The unwanted attention she speaks of apparently<br />

came as a result of my mid-Septem-<br />

CHATTER THAT A FOURSOME OF SOUTH<br />

SHORE REGIONAL SCHOOL BOARD<br />

WOMEN HAD A STAR-STRUCK TRIP TO NEW<br />

YORK IS ALL TALK, SAYS THE HUSBAND OF<br />

ONE OF THE UPSTANDING LADIES.<br />

A tipster told Frank that Joyce Veinot-<br />

Gates, “a principal on leave,” Barb Cochrane,<br />

“a consultant you can never get on the phone,”<br />

and two retired members, Trudy Johnson from<br />

LaHave and Yvonne Johnson, were in the<br />

Big Apple and on the Regis and Kelly show<br />

audience on the SSRSB dime.<br />

In fact, only three of the ladies went to the<br />

show, and only one works at the school board.<br />

ber scribblings on the topic. At the time, I mused<br />

that claims about her spectacular exploits as<br />

an exclusive call girl seemed a bit far-fetched.<br />

With a house in the suburbs and a tricked-out<br />

condo on the Halifax Waterfront — complete<br />

with a soundproofed so-called “play area” —<br />

Chloe seemed to be the sort of animal not likely<br />

to exist outside of massive urban centres like<br />

New York or Hong Kong.<br />

A bit of sleuthing by a private eye friend of<br />

mine seems to support my initial hypothesis that<br />

“Chloe” is the invention of a starry-eyed office<br />

drone. An IP address trace finds that our gal<br />

launched the site from a computer registered to<br />

the Government of Canada.<br />

andrew@atlanticfrank.ca<br />

TELLING TALES OUT OF SCHOOL<br />

OH, OWE!<br />

KATHLEEN KIERANS ISN’T JUST AN<br />

ACCUSED DRUG MULE, SHE’S AN AL-<br />

LEGED LOAN DEFAULTER.<br />

Jimmy Melvin, Jr.’s sometime<br />

<strong>love</strong>toy allegedly owes the Royal<br />

Bank of Canada $17,656.59, and has<br />

never set foot in court to defend herself<br />

on this charge. Her consistent disappearing<br />

act in this case has led the<br />

Royal Bank’s lawyer, John S.<br />

Fitzpatrick of Boyne Clarke LLP, to<br />

ask for an order of substituted service<br />

— meaning she can be found guilty<br />

of defaulting without ever entering a<br />

courtroom.<br />

Kierans, the daughter of King’s College<br />

vice-president Kim and King’s<br />

humanities prof Ken, is facing several<br />

counts of hashish, marijuana and<br />

valium trafficking.<br />

According to Barb’s hubby James, Johnson<br />

and Rafuse are indeed retired, but so is Veinot-<br />

Gates. The only one still working for the SSRSB<br />

was his wife, Barb, “Who works like a dog,”<br />

and she made a special request for four days<br />

off so that she could meet her friends there.<br />

She paid to get there herself, as did the rest of<br />

group, he says.<br />

As for the show, Barb C., Yvonne R., and<br />

Joyce V-G proudly flapped the Nova Scotia<br />

flag in front of Regis and Kelly’s 3,206,000 vapid<br />

American viewers. Trudy didn’t attend.<br />

There. I hope that settles that, and that the<br />

gals had fun. I would have been snoring in the<br />

aisles, or clawing my eyes out.<br />

neal@atlanticfrank.ca<br />

JONATHAN<br />

READER Murdered:<br />

August 7, 2005<br />

(19 years old)<br />

AS OF<br />

November<br />

20, 2010...<br />

1 9 3 1<br />

DAYS<br />

WITHOUT AN<br />

ARREST


SO, WHAT’S A BRIGHT YOUNG THING<br />

DOING IN A PLACE LIKE THIS?<br />

BY P. NUTT-GALLERY<br />

TONGUES WAGGED AND EYELIDS<br />

DROOPED AT THE TRADE CENTRE ATLANTIC<br />

JUNIOR CLUB LOVE-IN, OTHERWISE<br />

KNOWN AS FUSION’S GO AWARDS GALA.<br />

The Nov. 6 awards ceremony was in a tiny<br />

little room in the current, shabby and claustrophobic<br />

World Trade & Convention Centre.<br />

The GO gala had everything a young progressive,<br />

single-minded 20-40-year-old ... new convention<br />

centre new convention centre new<br />

convention centre ... sorry. They got me for a<br />

minute there.<br />

<strong>Fusion</strong> showcased its downward spiral in<br />

the basement of the good ol’ WTC, promenading<br />

its deterioration from a slightly smarmy, but<br />

slightly smart group of young pro-business,<br />

pro-development club members, to an endless<br />

parade of Teddy Ruxpins repeating and repeating<br />

refrains celebrating the blind genius and<br />

definite perfection of the infallible concept and<br />

inevitable coming of the great NEW CONVEN-<br />

TION CENTRE.<br />

After checking our coats, we all got nametags,<br />

on which words like “progress,” “vision,” “prosper”<br />

and “a million other meaningless<br />

buzzwords” were printed.<br />

We played games with these, matching our<br />

words with other funsters. I won a prize, but<br />

they were out of prizes. Hmm.<br />

Mingling confirmed what I had thought: most<br />

of the non-sponsor or non-nominee people in<br />

attendance, such people as Ivan Nickerson,<br />

from Hamachi House, a young couple from<br />

Calgary who have been in Halifax for less<br />

than a month, and <strong>love</strong>ly realtor Charlotte<br />

Hansen, really couldn’t say what they’d expected<br />

when they’d bought their $50 tickets, or<br />

what the event was really about.<br />

It might have been about the food, but maybe<br />

not. I made a young boy shed a single fearful<br />

tear when I asked for a second fried Chinese<br />

dumpling. “I can’t give you more than one,” he<br />

said. “I’ll get in *side to side glance* ... trouble!”<br />

Soon, the clinking of host Pardis Parker’s brillo<br />

voice told us it was time to sit down for the<br />

Indianapolis 500 of award ceremonies. He<br />

warmed up the crowds with jokes about expense<br />

accounts, and something about racism.<br />

New <strong>Fusion</strong> chair Jen Berry began crying<br />

almost immediately as she clutched the green<br />

“GO” flag during her thank you’s to the organizers<br />

of the event. The <strong>Fusion</strong> Dream Wall had a lot of good ideas on it;<br />

CONTINUED ON PAGE 24<br />

the kind that would fester at HRM council for years and then be dropped.<br />

DECEMBER 7, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 23


BLOWN FUSION!<br />

IT COULD HAVE BEEN A NIGHT OF CELEBRATING GREAT YOUNG FOLKS DOING POSITIVE<br />

THINGS IN A CITY THAT DESPERATELY NEEDS YOUNG PEOPLE TO DO GREAT THINGS.<br />

But it was more a night of old people telling young people to take scads of public money<br />

in a huge dump truck onto the old Herald site and burn it in a huge, pointless bonfire.<br />

Metaphorically, of course.<br />

BRIGHT, FROM PREVIOUS PAGE<br />

Once the green flag was waved, it was a<br />

slow start, with Premier Dull Dexter zombiemoaning<br />

between belches about the “mess<br />

we’ve inherited” and how not building a new<br />

convention centre was “not an option.” Mayor<br />

Peter Kelly, with his foot a little firmer on the<br />

gas, and a slightly less symmetrical face, said<br />

he’d give anything for one night alone with a<br />

new convention centre. Stomachs churned.<br />

We’ll list the awards in a little box somewhere,<br />

and you can get as much entertainment from<br />

reading them as we got spending an hour hearing<br />

them.<br />

The horrible crash during the event happened<br />

when Parker was stopped because he’d gone<br />

so fast that the people running the AV material<br />

needed 10 minutes to catch up. He joked awkwardly<br />

about them sucking at their jobs, stood<br />

24 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010<br />

Franken-Derek Simon (left),<br />

lawyerwith BurchellHayman<br />

Parish and <strong>Fusion</strong>’s<br />

legal beagle, charms<br />

one guest<br />

and seems to<br />

horrify another.<br />

quietly for three minutes, asked the AV team if<br />

they were ready, then started a joke about a<br />

woman running horrified from him because she<br />

thinks he’s going to rape her, and he thinks they’re<br />

having a foot race. True punchline: hilariously<br />

tepid response to a rape joke in an event for an<br />

organization that seems to be mostly young<br />

women.<br />

The AV club figured out their presentation,<br />

more people won, and I longed for a fifth beer.<br />

At the end, the event organizers went up and<br />

got teary about their pride in the organization.<br />

Director of events Bobbi Jo Hawkes cried<br />

when she was talking about setting up the GO<br />

event. Co-chair Leslie Chandler played it cool.<br />

Monica Njoku knocked Leslie Chandler’s champagne<br />

glass off the podium, spilling broken glass<br />

and champagne everywhere.<br />

He didn’t say it at the end, but I think Parker<br />

summed it up best when he said: “<strong>Ever</strong>yone<br />

Uh, hahahah, like,<br />

isn’t <strong>Fusion</strong>,<br />

sooooo, like, great?!?<br />

here is here for the free food. Nobody cares.”<br />

Not many laughs for that one, either.<br />

Maybe because the food was iffy, and maybe<br />

because jokes that ring true can cut deep.<br />

AWARD WINNERS<br />

<strong>Fusion</strong> Member Award Winner: Nadia Hinds<br />

Ignite Award Winner: Bernard Doucet<br />

Sustainability Award Winner: Dan Roscoe<br />

Humanitarian Award Winner:<br />

Lisa Weatherhead<br />

Health and Wellness Award Winner:<br />

Shannon Ryan<br />

Innovation Award Winner:<br />

Tara MacDonald and Zane Kelsall<br />

Urban Design Award: Andy Fillmore<br />

Newcomer Award: Charlie Hume<br />

Metropolitan Award: Ryan Deschamps


Royal LePage “realtorextrordinaire”<br />

Charlotte Hansen (left)<br />

hangs out with her<br />

silver-frocked<br />

friend, who may<br />

work for<br />

Clayton<br />

Developments.<br />

Baby face, you’ve got the cutest little<br />

baby... WHOA! Watch out! A rapist!<br />

Old <strong>Fusion</strong> chair Cheryl<br />

Stewart, Preem Darrell<br />

Dexter and wiferoo<br />

Kelly, and new chair<br />

Jennifer Berry. Three<br />

out of four will cheer<br />

for the convention<br />

centre on stage.<br />

I don’t know what<br />

any of this is about.<br />

Next up: degreasing<br />

for Tyler MacLeod<br />

(left) and his<br />

slippery<br />

little buddy.<br />

Ivan Nickerson, operations manager<br />

for Hamachi House, and pal.<br />

Awake and happy! Must be early in the night.<br />

HRSB boardie David Finlayson & friend.<br />

DECEMBER 7, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 25


Ward and June Cleaver knew how to raise<br />

their brood, but today’s over-stimulated<br />

anklebiters are a new breed unto themselves.<br />

No longer do children play cowboys and Indians,<br />

capture the flag, or shopkeeper. More likely<br />

than not, they will break into cars, pop Oxycotin,<br />

swarm defenceless people on the streets, and<br />

post naked, drunken pictures of their friends on<br />

Facebook!<br />

Parents may as well throw out all their old<br />

Doctor Spock books, burn the ancient Emily<br />

Post etiquette guides, and simply cross their<br />

fingers. The Old World is as good as dead. In<br />

our brave new world, everyone needs all the<br />

help we can get. Especially if it’s for the good of<br />

the children.<br />

Like the saying goes, it takes a village to raise<br />

a child, so without further ado, here is Frank’s<br />

New Guide To Parenting....<br />

� Outdoor ball hockey is strictly forbidden,<br />

unless you want to raise your tyke to be a lawbreaker.<br />

� Screaming and yelling at your own flesh<br />

and blood is alright, as long as you continually<br />

refer to these episodes as “Question Period.”<br />

� Create an exciting, modern variation on the<br />

old “Punch buggy, no punch back” car game, by<br />

slapping your runt on the arm every time Communications<br />

Nova Scotia issues a press release.<br />

� If Baby has severe flatulence, and a rotten<br />

egg smell starts to pervade the room, don’t embarrass<br />

the child, especially in mixed company.<br />

Just announce aloud, “Baby’s sewage treatment<br />

plant has malfunctioned again.”<br />

� Naturally, some parents are nervous at the<br />

thought of their little darlings playing doctor. So,<br />

to stave off the self-directed anatomy lessons,<br />

teach the neighbourhood kids to play “ER.” Just<br />

pack the pipsqueaks into a tiny room and forced<br />

them to sit there and wait until they are tired and<br />

groggy, and can no longer remember who they<br />

are. To liven up the action, occasionally fake a<br />

panic and raise the Code Orange alarm.<br />

� To deter your bambino from associating<br />

crime with glamour, hang a photo of Spryfield<br />

crime boss Jimmy Melvin above your toilet,<br />

beside a framed picture of a colostomy bag.<br />

� If some stubborn urchin refuses to hand<br />

over their cell phone, don’t flinch, just put them<br />

in a Ken Fells chokehold and slam ‘em to the<br />

floor. It’s OK, it’s not criminal assault. The State<br />

says so.<br />

� To promote a healthy interest in democracy,<br />

instead of ordering your little doll to bed, use<br />

your creepiest Stephen Harper voice to in-<br />

26 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010<br />

JUST NOT SO STORIES<br />

(YES, WE MAKE THEM UP)<br />

Frankland Guide to Parenting<br />

form her that you are “proroguing her activities.”<br />

� Feed your child’s curiosity by making them<br />

guess their teacher’s salary. For sharper math<br />

skills, have them calculate annual salary hikes,<br />

and how much the teacher makes for each inservice<br />

day.<br />

� Civic duty is important. What better way to<br />

instill pride of service than drag your kid to the<br />

mall, and buy a $833 expresso maker, a $910<br />

mocha <strong>love</strong>seat, a $3,000 generator, a $2,400<br />

digital camera, and a $113 Dance Dance Revolution<br />

game. Tell them, “One day, this will all be<br />

yours for free, if you get elected as an MLA to<br />

Province House.”<br />

� Don’t ever take the blame. Treat the young<br />

whippersnapper like Nova Scotia Power treats<br />

its customers, and blame every unfortunate incident<br />

on, er, a rogue raccoon. Other excuses<br />

that will come in handy are “salty fog,” “gay<br />

pride flags,” and “an extreme weather event.”<br />

� Or, take a page from Halifax police chief<br />

Frank Beazley’s playbook. Whenever something<br />

goes wrong, blame the media.<br />

� One must always have hope for the future,<br />

Chapter 11:<br />

Dodging blame<br />

so read your child a bedtime story about Sterling<br />

Belliveau. If Sterling can make cabinet,<br />

Christ, anything is possible.<br />

� If toddler wants something and won’t stop<br />

bawling, just holler, “What, do you think you’re<br />

entitled to your entitlements? Who do you think<br />

you are, the Honourable David C. Dingwall?”<br />

� To curb the youthful obsession with accumulating<br />

all kinds of the latest crap, show them<br />

the 97-page MLA expense list, and use a photo<br />

of Len Goucher on the dart board.<br />

� Don’t worry, bullying will no longer be a<br />

problem, now that today’s principals allow the<br />

victims a 15-minute head start before they release<br />

the hounds.<br />

� Forget counting sheep! Introduce fiscal responsibility<br />

from the cradle, by making your little<br />

nippers count Nova Scotia’s debt as they fall<br />

asleep.<br />

� � �<br />

Remember, parents, these early formative<br />

years are crucial. Once puberty strikes, your<br />

precious little cherub turns into a terrorist overnight.


FAX ANYTIME: (902) 423-0281<br />

LETTERS<br />

WEB: www.atlanticfrank.ca<br />

PO BOX 295, HALIFAX, NS B3J 2N7<br />

Why the<br />

long face?<br />

15 MINUTES OF FRANK<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

This morning I received an email from a friend, congratulating<br />

me on “finally” getting my picture in Frank<br />

Magazine.<br />

There must be some mistake, I thought. But no, I looked<br />

and there I was, sitting beside our Defence Minister,<br />

Peter MacKay. We were having a pleasant chat about<br />

New Glasgow, my home town.<br />

I admit that I am a very “experienced” Frank reader of<br />

many years and it would make me very happy to have<br />

a copy of this photo.<br />

It’s a political year for me as in June I had a photo<br />

taken with Prime Minister Harper when he was here<br />

for the Queen’s visit.<br />

Mary Himsl,<br />

via email<br />

IF I ASKED WHAT YOUR SALARY IS,<br />

WOULD I BURST INTO FLAMES?<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

(Ed. note: We received the following official response to ‘Prepare For Evacuation’<br />

in Frank 598, four days after deadline.)<br />

Here is your answer to your request for information. I’m sorry for the delay.<br />

Your question was: Does DND have any plans to close Windsor Park in<br />

Halifax and consolidate residential housing at Stadacona base?<br />

At this time, the Canadian Forces Housing Agency has no plans to close<br />

Windsor Park in Halifax and consolidate residential housing at Stadacona base.<br />

Please let me know if you have any other questions.<br />

Kristen Bustard,<br />

Communications Officer,<br />

National Defence, Ottawa<br />

LEAVE POOR<br />

KRISI ALONE!<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

re: Kristi & Chris, Luv Tourists, Frank 598.<br />

Kristi Wenaus (N.S. Tourism Dept. jet setter —<br />

ed.) is a devoted mother and a hard-working, independent<br />

woman.<br />

You should be ashamed of yourselves for publishing<br />

articles about her personal life. You and your five<br />

nasty articles can ruin her children’s lives, I hope you<br />

can live with yourselves. I am appalled that any human<br />

being can release information that could possibly<br />

ruin someone’s life. You must make your mothers<br />

proud.<br />

Enjoy your conscience, gentlemen!<br />

Suzie Mayfair<br />

via email<br />

FISHY<br />

BUSINESS<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

re: Kristi & Chris, Luv<br />

Tourists!<br />

I find it hard to believe<br />

that John Risley threw<br />

a cool $1.1 million down<br />

for that house on<br />

Geldert Street for his<br />

daughter.<br />

Perhaps it helps to explain<br />

why his<br />

Clearwater fish company<br />

is in the toilet for investors.<br />

Hal I. Butt,<br />

Halifax<br />

Sometimes I yearn to<br />

be comforted by an<br />

experienced woman.<br />

MORE LETTERS, PAGES 30-31<br />

GONE BUT NOT<br />

FORGOTTEN<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

I’m glad that A. Frank Grunt<br />

finally got his education on native<br />

people and no longer refers<br />

to them with lowlife names<br />

like “injun” and such.<br />

Polly Tickal-Correct,<br />

Sydney<br />

Editor’s Note: A. Frank<br />

Grunt no longer refers to anyone<br />

by any name, at least<br />

within the pages of my organ.<br />

Mr. Grunt recently fled the<br />

bunker for the bright lights of<br />

Labrador City (Frank 596).<br />

MESSAGE FROM<br />

A PRODIGAL READER<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

In this time of great economic and political unrest and uncertainty,<br />

I’m afraid the stress was too much and I did not renew my<br />

subscription in a timely manner. I kept telling myself “someday I’ll<br />

do it,” but “someday” never came. Then, out of the blue, like some<br />

divination of things almost beyond the human ken, the complimentary<br />

issue of your organ entered my life.<br />

Like a scene from Brokeback Mountain or a Peter Duffy<br />

nightmare, my ennui was penetrated repeatedly and without warning,<br />

thrusting my consciousness almost to an astral plane, making<br />

me mutter, “Why can’t I quit you?” without simultaneously wondering<br />

what qualifications are required to become a HRM<br />

speechwriter.<br />

Then the moment passed and I was left alone, smoking a cigarette,<br />

with a dull throbbing ache and sense of loss. This state of<br />

affairs could not be allowed to continue.<br />

Why, without your organ, however would I find out the news<br />

that the mainstream media seems fit to ignore; or worse, breathlessly<br />

prints or broadcasts a week or three later as breaking<br />

news?<br />

How would I track government waste at the municipal or provincial<br />

level, raising my blood pressure to dangerously high levels?<br />

How would I track real estate values in the South End?<br />

How would I track Peter MacKay’s <strong>love</strong>life? Note to self: Can<br />

anyone track Peter MacKay’s <strong>love</strong>life and do we want to? That<br />

may be a question worth exploring in and of itself. If it gets a<br />

movie treatment, I suggest “Brokenose MP” as a working title.<br />

In closing, as one of your writers often says, “Cheque, please”<br />

as a means of signing off on one of his signature rants, I must<br />

advise you that in this case, the cheque really is in the mail.<br />

Miss Ng Yu,<br />

Via cyberspace<br />

DECEMBER 7, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 27


IN THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM, THE PEOPLE ARE REPRESENTED<br />

BY THREE GROUPS: THE POLICE WHO INVESTIGATE CRIMES, THE<br />

CROWN ATTORNEYS WHO PROSECUTE THEM, AND THE CABINET<br />

MINISTERS WHO GET HANDED CUSHY JOBS AT MEGABUCK LAW<br />

FIRMS DESPITE HAVING EVER PRACTICED LAW FOR ALL OF<br />

LIKE A COUPLE WEEKS FIFTEEN YEARS AGO.<br />

THIS STORY IS ABOUT THAT LAST ONE.<br />

MISTER MACKAY, ARE YOU READY TO ENTER YOUR CLIENT’S PLEA?<br />

I SHOULD THINK SO YOUR HONOUR, AFTER FOUR YEARS<br />

STRIDING THE GLOBAL STAGE IN ONE OF THE MOST POWER-<br />

FUL POSITIONS IN THIS ENTIRE NATION, I’D SAY I’M READY TO<br />

HANDLE ANY CHALLENGE THIS WORLD CAN THROW AT ME!<br />

MISTER MACKAY?<br />

OH, SORRY, I WAS WAITING FOR THE PRIME<br />

MINISTER TO TELL ME WHAT TO SAY.<br />

MR HAMMOUD, YOU’VE TOLD THIS COURT THAT MY CLIENT ROBBED YOUR<br />

CONVENIENCE STORE AND VICIOUSLY BEAT YOU... BUT ISN’T IT TRUE<br />

THERE’S NOT ONE SCINTILLA OF EVIDENCE THAT ANY BEATING TOOK<br />

PLACE, AND THAT YOU’RE JUST A DUPE OF 7-11 WHO’S SLANDERING THE<br />

HONOUR OF THE BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN WHO BUY SLIM JIMS AND<br />

MOUNTAIN DEW!!<br />

SCREW YOU,<br />

YOU LYING<br />

DOUCHEBAG.<br />

CRAP. ONE OF<br />

THESE DAYS<br />

THAT ONE’S<br />

GONNA WORK<br />

28 DECEMBER 7, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK<br />

LISTEN MAN - YOU SEEM LIKE A NICE GUY AND EVERYTHING,<br />

BUT I’M THINKING MAYBE I WANT A DIFFERENT LAWYER.<br />

I MEAN, TO TELL YOU THE<br />

TRUTH I KINDA THOUGHT<br />

YOU WERE THAT UGLY<br />

PRINCE DUDE WHO JUST<br />

GOT ENGAGED.<br />

I’M<br />

GUESSING.<br />

HEY, TRUST ME - I GOT<br />

THIS! JUST WATCH ME<br />

CROSS-EXAMINE THIS<br />

WITNESS!<br />

NEVER MIND - I DIRECT THE COURT’S ATTENTION TO THE INTERIOR<br />

LAYOUT OF MR HAMMOUD’S STORE, WHICH MAKES IT PHYSICALLY<br />

IMPOSSIBLE FOR EVENTS TO HAVE OCCURRED AS HE DESCRIBES THEM!<br />

FOR SOME REASON THEY<br />

WOULDN’T LET ME IN.


BUT OKAY THEN... I MAY NOT HAVE<br />

ANY “FACTS” OR “EVIDENCE” - BUT<br />

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS I CAN ALWAYS<br />

JUST USE MY SMOOTH, HUNKY GOOD<br />

LOOKS TO CHARM THE JURY...<br />

...WHICH IS MADE UP ENTIRELY<br />

OF RICH BLONDE CHICKS I USED<br />

TO DATE?!? AWWW COME ON!!<br />

SO UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMETHING RELEVANT TO THIS CASE<br />

TO SAY, I SUGGEST YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND SIT DOWN!<br />

WAIT A MINUTE - SIT DOWN...<br />

SIT...<br />

ROLL OVER...<br />

GOOD DOG...<br />

...DOG!!<br />

OF COURSE!<br />

THAT’S IT!!!<br />

AND THAT IS WHY I GAVE MY CLIENT MY SACRED PLEDGE TO<br />

DEFEND HIS COMPLETE AND UTTER INNOCENCE WITH EVERY<br />

OUNCE OF MY STRENGTH TO THE VERY ENDS OF THE EARTH!<br />

YEAH! RIGHT ON! I TAKE IT ALL<br />

BACK, MAN - YOU ARE THE BEST<br />

LAWYER IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!<br />

MISTER MACKAY, IT IS OBVIOUS TO THIS COURT THAT YOU ARE<br />

COMPLETELY UNPREPARED TO ARGUE THIS CASE... AND ALSO, SINCE<br />

YOU’VE PUBLICLY SAID THE RUMOUR ABOUT YOU QUITTING FOR A LAW<br />

JOB WASN’T TRUE, THE WHOLE PREMISE OF THIS PAGE DOESN’T EVEN<br />

MAKE SENSE ANY MORE.<br />

AWWW MAN!<br />

FURTHERMORE, I<br />

TOTALLY THINK YOU<br />

LOOK LIKE THAT UGLY<br />

PRINCE GUY TOO<br />

ON THE NIGHT OF THE ROBBERY, MY CLIENT HAD JUST BROKEN UP WITH<br />

HIS GIRLFRIEND - AND AS EVERYONE WHO’S EVER GONE THROUGH AN<br />

INTENSE PERSONAL HEARTBREAK KNOWS, THE FIRST THING YOU DO<br />

WHEN YOU BREAK UP WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS INVITE THE PRESS TO<br />

YOUR DAD’S FARM TO TAKE SAD PICTURES OF YOU WITH A DOG!<br />

HOWEVER, AFTER TALKING TO THE PROSECUTION FOR A COUPLE<br />

MINUTES I’VE DECIDED TO MERGE WITH THEM INSTEAD.<br />

HE’S TOTALLY GUILTY YOUR HONOUR!<br />

THIS PHOTO<br />

PROVES HIS<br />

WHEREABOUTS<br />

AT THE TIME IN<br />

QUESTION!<br />

MY CLIENT COULD NOT POSSIBLY HAVE COMMITTED THIS CRIME!<br />

THAT REFERENCE IS<br />

LIKE SEVEN YEARS OLD!<br />

STILL<br />

TOPICAL.<br />

ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010 29


PHONE ANYTIME : (902) 420-1668<br />

LETTERS<br />

E-MAIL: atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca<br />

PO BOX 295, HALIFAX, NS B3J 2N7<br />

MAN WITH A MESSAGE<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

Wow, this guy gets around. Last February in<br />

N’Awlins for Mardi Gras and in October<br />

onboard the Legendary Blues Cruise out of<br />

San Diego. One thing for sure, he has no problem<br />

letting folks know how he feels about that<br />

particular sack of crap. Incidentally the folks<br />

from Kansas City voted it as the best t-shirt on<br />

the ship.<br />

A gentleman from Alberta asked me, “Who<br />

the hell is Peter MacKay?” I best be on the<br />

lookout for this guy...<br />

Watt A. Wiseguy,<br />

Wolfville<br />

PARENT OF THE YEAR WRITES<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

I am quite annoyed by the police asking for<br />

people to report marijuana grow ops to<br />

Crimestoppers but then not even charging<br />

the bad guys once they catch them.<br />

My children are taken care of a lot of the time<br />

ABSOLUT-LY BAFFLING<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

Thanks for the Steve Murphy updates (Frank 598).<br />

It’s a shame neither you nor your minions were on hand last<br />

Saturday night (Nov. 13) to catch Breakfast Television star Cryil<br />

Lunney being attacked by a pack of drunk cougars at Durty Nelly’s<br />

Irish Pub! ’Twas a sight to be seen!<br />

Frankly, I was baffled by the whole evening. One minute Cy was<br />

there, then he wasn’t. Then he was back wearing a Hawaiian shirt!<br />

Next time I saw him, he was once again wearing a t-shirt and a<br />

leather jacket! It was like magic except that the t-shirt said “Got<br />

Crabs?” No word of a lie.<br />

If there’s one thing I learned from that night at Durty Nelly’s it’s that<br />

I’m nowhere near hardcore enough to hang with Cyril!<br />

P. Artie Towne,<br />

Dartmouth<br />

30 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010<br />

by druggies and they were caught and I have<br />

evidence of this but still nothing.<br />

What is the sense of catching them if there is<br />

no deterrent from doing it again?<br />

Matt Urnal,<br />

via email<br />

JAY’S EVEN MORE GOLDEN ’CHUTE<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

I’ve been reading with interest your article in<br />

the recent Frank (598) about the millionaire<br />

goodbye club relating to the Bell Aliant platinum<br />

parachutes handed out for the last couple<br />

of years.<br />

Just a quick comment: while your thoughts<br />

are in the right area, you’re way low on some<br />

of the money.<br />

A specific example would be Jay Forbes,<br />

who left back in 2006. He was there about five<br />

years, and you have him walking away with<br />

$1.45 million. I assume you mean that in terms<br />

of severance, but that was only one part of his<br />

severance. That was just his base pay for 30<br />

months. Then there’s another $2 millionplus,<br />

so in fact, his severance pay was about<br />

$3.5 million, coupled with a whole bunch of<br />

LITERARY<br />

HINTERLAND<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

I was making my way back to Halifax after a<br />

weekend of debauchery in Cape Breton when<br />

a stopover in Whycocomagh changed my life.<br />

OK, it didn’t change my life. But my brief encounter<br />

at a used bookstore called Chasing<br />

Tales most certainly pissed me off.<br />

It was still rather early in the morning when<br />

my luxury motor coach, driven by my dear<br />

friend, Mr. A. Lines, let me off next to Vi’s<br />

Restaurant for a brief respite. Having sampled<br />

Miss Vi’s culinary creations in the past I decided<br />

I’d be better served going on the bum for<br />

a cigarette.<br />

I was rummaging through the dumpster behind<br />

the Route 66-esque greasy spoon when<br />

my wandering eye came upon a shed<br />

emblazoned with five letters. B-O-O-K-S.<br />

Being a man of letters, I felt it was incumbent<br />

upon me to take a look. I immediately regretted<br />

that decision.<br />

Maybe it was the smell of french fry grease<br />

from Vi’s co-mingling with dust from the decades-old<br />

Harlequin romance paperbacks and<br />

spy novels, but a wave of nausea washed over<br />

me the moment I walked in. To make matters<br />

worse, the attention-starved shopkeep, a chap<br />

by the name of Robert W. Cook, started jawing<br />

at me. For the next 20 minutes I was verbally<br />

bombarded with nonsensical ravings about geopolitical<br />

affairs and his own personal exploits.<br />

In short, Bobby claims to have done everything<br />

except create the world. A top-drawer bullshitter.<br />

I later learned that Mr. Cook and his goodlady<br />

wife, Florence, own close to 100 acres of<br />

land in nearby East Lake Ainslie. It’s a good<br />

thing, because Bobby, a Vietnam-era U.S. immigrant,<br />

needs every bit of that space to graze<br />

his ego.<br />

Reid Moore,<br />

Halifax<br />

other packages of cash, so his total compensation<br />

for 2006 was $5.8 million and change.<br />

That is public information in the notice of the<br />

annual meeting of unit-holders and information<br />

circular for the annual meeting of May 16, 2007.<br />

Anyway, keep up the good work keeping the<br />

heat on. These amounts of money are obscene,<br />

but I just wanted to give you some information<br />

that’s a little more updated.<br />

The money’s a lot higher than you might think<br />

it would be.<br />

Meg A. Bucks,<br />

Halifax


FAX ANYTIME: (902) 423-0281<br />

LETTERS<br />

WEB: www.atlanticfrank.ca<br />

PO BOX 295, HALIFAX, NS B3J 2N7<br />

SPARE US THE ROYAL BORE<br />

We are not amused.<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

I can’t stand the way the media is milking this Prince William/Kate Middleton<br />

engagement story to death already. <strong>Ever</strong>y time one of them farts from now on, Steve<br />

“The Milkman” Murphy or someone similar will be reporting on it. Ugh.<br />

Albert N. Victoria,<br />

Address Unknown<br />

Jane Lenehan<br />

Chris Robinson<br />

LEGAL<br />

CONNECTIONS<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

You forgot to mention in your piece on Greg<br />

Lenehan (Frank 598) that Judge Gregie is<br />

married to Jane (McClure) Lenehan, a lawyer<br />

in her own right, and one of several lawyers<br />

that represented serial divorcee/prosecutor<br />

Karen Quigley in her most recent divorce<br />

from former secret-agent man Gary Willmore.<br />

Greg’s recent appointment means Jane and<br />

Karen — now Mrs. Ted Scanlan No. 4 — both<br />

get to sleep with judges! Nice!<br />

Oh, and speaking of Jane, you know, of<br />

course, she’s now running her own law firm —<br />

Lenehan & Associates — on Prince Albert<br />

Road in Dartmouth.<br />

If you’re looking for a good laugh, check out<br />

the bio of Jane’s associate Chris Robinson. I<br />

was practically in tears reading it.<br />

“Before he decided to return to school and<br />

pursue his law degree, Chris Robinson enjoyed<br />

a 15-year career in banking, securities and portfolio<br />

management ... his experience in finance,<br />

banking and securities has proved invaluable<br />

to both his corporate and family law clients.”<br />

Guess he also “enjoyed” being fired from<br />

Merrill Lynch in 2001, being fined by the Investment<br />

Dealers Association and going<br />

bankrupt in 2005 (Frank 531)!<br />

Moore Info,<br />

Dartmouth<br />

CODE OF SILENCE<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

re: Did Boo Lose His Balls?,<br />

Frank 598.<br />

Glad you got Jamie Myra in<br />

there this issue. I’ve heard some<br />

things, but of course Lunenburg<br />

will never spill on one of its own.<br />

It’s terrible how they keep things<br />

quiet. Keep pressing!<br />

C. Kretts,<br />

Lunenburg<br />

BILLY BOB NEWS<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

Bought your rag the other day;<br />

nice response by Billy Bob<br />

McWilliams to the Herald’s John<br />

Williams-pisses-on-the-frontpage<br />

pic (Frank 598).<br />

Haven’t read the whole issue<br />

yet, but wasn’t thrilled with the<br />

new regime’s intro letter.<br />

hjkdshfhdsfjksf,<br />

Albert Street, Halifax<br />

� � � � � � � � � � ��<br />

��<br />

�<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

I miss John Williams.<br />

Bryan William Martin,<br />

Halifax<br />

Editor’s Note: He’s still here.<br />

MISTWEETED VETS<br />

RISKY BUSINESS<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

re: Facebook exclusive,<br />

Sam Saade<br />

As reporters, I would think<br />

you would be a little smarter<br />

about posting a police officer’s<br />

first and last name on<br />

Facebook.<br />

You could be putting<br />

Const. Saade and his family<br />

in danger.<br />

Billy Clubb,<br />

Halifax<br />

THEM’S FIGHTING WORDS<br />

Dear Frank:<br />

re: Fems vs. Fighter, Frank 598.<br />

I am disgusted with your article about Pictou County native<br />

MMA fighter Jason MacKay.<br />

You guys have a lot of nerve to print slander about other<br />

people and if it were up to me you would all be out of jobs and<br />

shunned from the community. You print stories about people<br />

you don’t even know and put personal information that you<br />

have no business even knowing, let alone displaying for public<br />

consumption.<br />

I am going to write letters to all the major newspapers telling<br />

them how poor your reporting is and hopefully you will be the<br />

people on the front cover of a newspaper being slandered.<br />

I know you are all going to laugh and just shrug it off as I am<br />

sure you have done with many other emails, but I hope you<br />

know how many people you hurt and upset by printing the<br />

things you print and I hope someday you have to endure the<br />

emotional pain you have caused so many people.<br />

I hope your business fails. Nothing would make me happier.<br />

Shay M. Onyou,<br />

New Glasgow<br />

Dear Frank:1<br />

N.S. Tory Leader Jamie Baillie’s Twitter entries may be<br />

boring and unimaginative (You Are What You Tweet, Frank<br />

596) but at least they’re devoid of any major typos.<br />

Wish I could say the same for those posted by Cape Breton<br />

North MLA Cecil Clarke.<br />

His Remembrance Day Tweet elicited a few snickers of its own,<br />

when instead of tweeting “Lest we forget,” the Honourable Member typed “Least we forget.”<br />

Oops.<br />

Needless to say, the Tweet very quickly vanished from cyberspace.<br />

Medea Specialist,<br />

Halifax<br />

DECEMBER 7, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 31


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