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THE NOT-SO-AMAZING RACE
I HEAR THREE CONTESTANTS ARE IN THE RUNNING FOR THE RACE TO
REPLACE N.S. LIBERAL LEADER STEPHEN MCNEIL’S $95,000-A-YEAR
CHIEF OF STAFF ALLAN SULLIVAN, WHO ANNOUNCED HIS IMMINENT
DEPARTURE EARLIER THIS YEAR (FRANK 595).
Said to be lacing up their track shoes are: caucus research director
Tracey “Fashionista” Preeper, long-time EA to erstwhile Dartmouth
East MLA Dr. Jim Smith and sister of Russell MacLellan-era chief of
staff Len Preeper; professional elbow-rubber Chris “East Coast Con-
BARB & JOHN, FROM PREVIOUS PAGE
Barb followed her brainy, pint-sized pal to
Kings College, where they formed a tight-knit
mutual admiration society with Ottawa native
Trevor, who in March 2006 became a national
hero after he survived a savage axe attack in
tribal Afghanistan.
Out of Trevor’s tragedy, old friends came together,
and a great love was born. Or, as carpe
diem queen Barb writes, “This time I thought I
am not going to wait until I am 80 to tell him how
I feel. So I did. Now that friend of 23 years is my
partner.”
The lovebirds found domestic bliss in July
2007, when they bought a home in Bedford’s
Carriageway Court enclave, a year and a half
after then-N.S. Tory president and Stewart
McKelvey partner John landed one of the country’s
top political jobs, as MacKay’s chief of staff.
Shortly after they embarked on their great
adventure — “John is a mentor to our children
[and] a coach to me,” Barb blabbed in print —
Barb was offered, and accepted, the job as
Trade Centre mouthpiece, back when TC ceo
Fred MacGillivray’s secret supplementary
pension began climbing into the high six-figure
range.
Backed by her partner John, the ultimate
powerbroker, rabid cheerleader Barb leapt into
civic politics like a missionary among the natives,
determined to ignite a religious fervour
among the locals with her obnoxious Citizens
For Halifax lobby group.
Her public-speaking career really took off
when she inflicted her Philosopher Queen
mumbo-jumbo on the self-help crazed, toiletreading
public (see thumbs down review, Frank
547).
The relentless, unstoppable Barb Stegemann
self-promotion machine kicked into even higher
gear this year, and Barb made national headlines
by peddling her Orange Blossom Special
perfume.
Barb’s over-the-top marketing efforts included
her misleadingly name-dropping Gandhi, and
trying to drum up an appearance on Oprah
(Frank 581, 582).
In the wider scheme of things, philosophically
speaking, (isn’t it great how we can use the
10 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010
term philosophy to make even our most mundane
thoughts appear profounder than they
actually are?), balancing a career and home life
is not an easy task for any of us.
I left an unanswered message with John, via
his Ottawa spokesthingy Jay Paxton.
MEND, FROM PREVIOUS PAGE
It is understood Mike has separated from his
wife, whose name momentarily eludes me. They
have two children.
Barb, who like Mike is in her mid-40s, also has
two kids, from a previous marriage. Barb did
not reply to my email query.
She is busy concocting a brand new odour,
and the History channel is even hosting a contest
to name it. Barb wants the perfume name
to include the word “Afghanistan,” so I presume
she plans to distribute it by the barrelful,
since Afghanistan is too long to fit on a bottle of
perfume, unless it comes with a magnifying
glass to read the label!
Micromanager Barb also suggests the title
nected” Crowell, who last year lost the Halifax riding nod to Twitter
bore Dr. Stan “Brainworks” Kutcher; and Glace Bay boy Kirby
MacVicar, a former fartcatcher to Sydney-Victoria MP Mark Eyking,
and apparently a v. good friend to the aforementioned Mr. Sullivan.
Some Gritty sources contend the talent pool is particularly shallow this
go ‘round. In fact, one argues that the individuals best-suited for the job
never, ever want it.
Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
Barb did not respond to my email query.
I am not sure who resides in their $266,600assessed
Carriage Court abode. Barb has two
teenage children from a previous marriage.
dan@atlanticfrank.ca
should mention roses and also evoke the notion
of courage. Jeez. Name the bloody scent yourself,
Barb!
Wait ... how about, Afghani Lion & Thorns?
It’s a bold, tribal bouquet!
But I admit I am struggling to coin a nickname
for the new couple. “Barike” just doesn’t have
the same ring as “Brangelina.”
If they decide to do the hyphenated name
thingy, God help the poor stutterer who has to
pronounce Stegemann-Velemirovich.
Perhaps we should simply call them Mike &
Barb. Kinda like Sid & Nancy, Mickey &
Minnie, George & Gracie, Victoria & Albert,
Dick & Jane.
It’s so simple, but still one letter too big to fit on
a vanity plate. MIK&BAR works, though.