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BLOWN FUSION!
IT COULD HAVE BEEN A NIGHT OF CELEBRATING GREAT YOUNG FOLKS DOING POSITIVE
THINGS IN A CITY THAT DESPERATELY NEEDS YOUNG PEOPLE TO DO GREAT THINGS.
But it was more a night of old people telling young people to take scads of public money
in a huge dump truck onto the old Herald site and burn it in a huge, pointless bonfire.
Metaphorically, of course.
BRIGHT, FROM PREVIOUS PAGE
Once the green flag was waved, it was a
slow start, with Premier Dull Dexter zombiemoaning
between belches about the “mess
we’ve inherited” and how not building a new
convention centre was “not an option.” Mayor
Peter Kelly, with his foot a little firmer on the
gas, and a slightly less symmetrical face, said
he’d give anything for one night alone with a
new convention centre. Stomachs churned.
We’ll list the awards in a little box somewhere,
and you can get as much entertainment from
reading them as we got spending an hour hearing
them.
The horrible crash during the event happened
when Parker was stopped because he’d gone
so fast that the people running the AV material
needed 10 minutes to catch up. He joked awkwardly
about them sucking at their jobs, stood
24 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010
Franken-Derek Simon (left),
lawyerwith BurchellHayman
Parish and Fusion’s
legal beagle, charms
one guest
and seems to
horrify another.
quietly for three minutes, asked the AV team if
they were ready, then started a joke about a
woman running horrified from him because she
thinks he’s going to rape her, and he thinks they’re
having a foot race. True punchline: hilariously
tepid response to a rape joke in an event for an
organization that seems to be mostly young
women.
The AV club figured out their presentation,
more people won, and I longed for a fifth beer.
At the end, the event organizers went up and
got teary about their pride in the organization.
Director of events Bobbi Jo Hawkes cried
when she was talking about setting up the GO
event. Co-chair Leslie Chandler played it cool.
Monica Njoku knocked Leslie Chandler’s champagne
glass off the podium, spilling broken glass
and champagne everywhere.
He didn’t say it at the end, but I think Parker
summed it up best when he said: “Everyone
Uh, hahahah, like,
isn’t Fusion,
sooooo, like, great?!?
here is here for the free food. Nobody cares.”
Not many laughs for that one, either.
Maybe because the food was iffy, and maybe
because jokes that ring true can cut deep.
AWARD WINNERS
Fusion Member Award Winner: Nadia Hinds
Ignite Award Winner: Bernard Doucet
Sustainability Award Winner: Dan Roscoe
Humanitarian Award Winner:
Lisa Weatherhead
Health and Wellness Award Winner:
Shannon Ryan
Innovation Award Winner:
Tara MacDonald and Zane Kelsall
Urban Design Award: Andy Fillmore
Newcomer Award: Charlie Hume
Metropolitan Award: Ryan Deschamps