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TWEETS OF THE WEEK Follow Frank on Twitter at www.twitter.com/Atlantic_Frank. Because you never know when Frank may be watching. � � � � V. sorry to hear about the Remembrance Day blaze that has led to the temporary closure of Frank’s flagship retailer in Lockeport. Word has it the Lockeport Pharmacy conflagration was sparked by a pop cooler located near the front of the store. Owners Bevin Joudrie and his pharmacist wiferoo Tatum have temporarily set up shop in the Masonic building near the Town Hall. (Tweeted Nov. 19) � Dal Nursing grad, Karla (Malloy) Swansburg, the Surf Lodge Nursing Home admin who previously toiled as the Director of Nursing at Spryfield’s Glades Lodge, is expecting her first child, a boy, later this month. She and hubby Robert Swansburg tied the knot earlier this year. (Tweeted Nov. 19) � Former Barrister’s Society prez Ron MacDonald, the ex-Antigonish prosecutor who four years ago was physically taken down by shackled perp Victor Rhyno during a Sheet Harbour court proceeding (Frank 479), has been elected president of the Federation of Law Societies for Canada. The FSLC is the national co-ordinating body of the country’s 14 mandated law societies. (Tweeted Nov. 19) � Greasy Gary Tredwell is back doing his thing on Q104. Gary’s photo, lifted from BevBoy’s Blog, ran in Frank 597. (Tweeted Nov. 19) � MLA per diem cuts taking their toll: Manning “Porker” MacDonald places his order at KFC in Scotia Square. (Tweeted Nov. 17) � Today is allNovaScotia.com ace reporter Andrew Macdonald’s 43rd b-day!! (Tweeted Nov. 17) Greasy Gary Manning MacDonald 2 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 7, 2010 � Absurd sight of the week: two men, dangling 10 floors up on the 1801 Hollis skyscraper, washing windows in the rain. (Tweeted Nov. 17) � As I write this, Cyril Lunney is receiving a prostate exam live on BT. This is me raising awareness for throwing up in my mouth a little. (Tweeted Nov. 17) � Star criminal defense lawyer Lance Scaravelli grabs a grilled chicken wrap at Cyril Lunney Anna’s Cafe & Deli, Hollis St. (Tweeted Nov. 15) � Frankland help wanted ad running in today’s Herald. We need reporters!!! (Tweeted Nov. 13) � Live 105.1 is giving away “Movember Swag.” If anything can defeat prostate cancer, it’s a goddamn tote with a moustache on it. (Tweeted Nov. 12) � Construction heating up: workers install ductwork at Theatrelofts on Gottingen. (Tweeted Nov. 10) � The bird-woman of Spring Garden Road. (Tweeted Nov. 10) � I’ve been to Provincial Court in Dartmouth when the entire security contingent consists of one sheriff sitting at a card table, now they’re asking you to take your belt off before you go through the metal detector at Spring Garden Road Provincial Court. (Tweeted Nov. 9) � HRM finance guru Bruce Fisher walking up Blowers Street with Anne Derrick following close on his heels. Mike the Panhandler brings up the rear. (Tweeted Nov. 9) � Bruce Fisher update: just walked past the SGR library in the opposite direction. I’ll bring you more on this as the story progresses. (Tweeted Nov. 9) � Just heard that Spryfield Shopping Centre’s owner hired Robert “Pretty Boy” Chisholm to lobby Dexter to lease gov’t space in the mall. (Tweeted Nov. 9) � The bunker is in transition. You can’t make an omelet without choking on a few Robert Chisholm thousand dust bunnies. (Tweeted Nov. 8) Bird flu, anyone?
ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK HALIFAX, NOVA SCOTIA ISSUE 599 DECEMBER 7, 2010 The historic agreement between the governments of Nova Nova Scotia Scotia and Newfoundland Newfoundland and and Labrador Labrador will benefit all Atlantic Atlantic Canadians Canadians. Canadians In addition to transmiting electricity from the Lower Lower Lower Churchill Churchill to Nova Nova Scotia Scotia, Scotia I have agreed to transmit old CODCO CODCO episodes to every living room in Cape Cape Breton Breton. Breton Provincial officials in Halifax Halifax Halifax have agreed to ship Cathy Cathy Jones Jones Jones back to Jelly Jelly Bean Bean Row Row in downtown St.John’s St.John’s, St.John’s in return for a nice bottle of screech. This is a complex, billion-dollar deal. No detail, however small, has been overlooked. The contract will be ratified once Emera Emera president Chris Chris Huskilson Huskilson dances a Newfie Newfie jig up Signal Signal Hill. Hill. I categorically deny media rumours that our Lieutenant-Governors are included in the transaction. I wasn’t born yesterday, you know. Who in their right mind would trade John John Crosbie Crosbie for Mayann Mayann Francis Francis? Francis We are, however, exchanging a plate of cod tongues for a donair from Pizza Pizza Corner Corner. Corner I had to give up something to keep Crosbie. But I’m not eating the donair. I’ll make Crosbie eat the donair. I’ll tell him it’s stuffed full of seal meat. As a show of good faith and inter-provincial harmony, Nova Scotia’s socialist Premier Premier Darrell Darrell Darrell Dexterovich Dexterovich and I will ride the Marine Marine Marine Atlantic Atlantic ferry from North North Sydney Sydney to Port-Aux-Basques Port-Aux-Basques, Port-Aux-Basques where we will smile and shake hands with the public, wave the Canadian Canadian flag, and swap photographs of icebergs and whales. I hear Darrell has a mighty impressive digital camera or two! You know, I never thought I could negotiate with an N-Dipper N-Dipper, N-Dipper but at the end of the day, it sure as hell beats talking to Jean Jean Charest Charest. Charest Down with Quebec Quebec! Quebec Give us back our Upper Upper Churchill Churchill Falls Falls Falls hydroelectric project, you poutine-eating frogs! — — — Danny Danny Millions, Millions, Premier Premier of of Newfoundland Newfoundland & & Labrador Labrador Managing editor: Andrew Douglas Chief reporter: Dan Walsh Staff reporters: Neal Ozano John Williams Copy editor/Layout: Joan Westen Atlantic Canada Frank is a magazine of news, satire, opinion, comment and humour published every two weeks by Coltsfoot Publishing Limited. Copyright Coltsfoot Publishing Limited. Coltsfoot Publishing is the proprietor and publisher of Atlantic Canada Frank. Mailing address: Frank Magazine, P.O. Box 295, Halifax, B3J 2N7. Subscriptions: see back page. Publications Mail Agreement No. 40050490; P.A.P. No. 8158. Phone: 420-1668. Fax: 423- 0281. E-mail: atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca. Toll-free Tips Hotline: 1-888-335-5505. Letters, see Pages 30, 31. We acknowledge the financial support of the Government of Canada through the Canada Periodical Fund (CPF) for our publishing activities. PLEASE SEND ONE YEAR OF FRANK TO: NAME ADDRESS ADDRESS PHONE NUMBER AND TO ... NAME ADDRESS ADDRESS PHONE SEND ME A YEAR OF FRANK, TOO! YES TO RENEW, PHONE: 1-800-259-1066 OR MAIL THIS FORM TO: Only $44.95! Ho, ho, ho! NO I told you to stop calling me that! Cardholder’s name NEW RENEWAL I understand my VISA _____ M’CARD ______ or AMEX ______ will be billed for: $ ________ ($44.95* per CDN sub) Card number Expiry Signature Daytime phone number Offer expires Jan. 31, 2011 RENEW YOUR SUBSCRIPTION ONLINE AT WWW.ATLANTICFRANK.CA OR FAX: 1-888- 259-0025 P.O. BOX 1481 SHELBURNE, N.S. BOT 1W0 frank.mag@ns.sympatico.ca DECEMBER 7, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 3
Page 1: Fusion self-love! Dead ponzi scheme
Page 5 and 6: IRVING’S PRIVATE FORTUNE BY WILL
Page 7 and 8: � � � Sydney barrister Joseph
Page 9 and 10: THE FRAGRANCE OF HEARTACHE: THE BAR
Page 11 and 12: I’m entitled to... some taxi chit
Page 13 and 14: Pictou County deputy sheriff Morgan
Page 15 and 16: MORE MISSING MONEY NEWS BY T. DOFF
Page 17 and 18: WEDDING BELLE, FROM PREVIOUS PAGE C
Page 19 and 20: CRAVING A TINY SLICE OF CUBA BUT CA
Page 21 and 22: THE DOPE ON THE QUEENS COUNCILLOR B
Page 23 and 24: SO, WHAT’S A BRIGHT YOUNG THING D
Page 25 and 26: Royal LePage “realtorextrordinair
Page 27 and 28: FAX ANYTIME: (902) 423-0281 LETTERS
Page 29 and 30: BUT OKAY THEN... I MAY NOT HAVE ANY
Page 31 and 32: FAX ANYTIME: (902) 423-0281 LETTERS

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