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ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK
HALIFAX, NOVA SCOTIA
ISSUE 599
DECEMBER 7, 2010
The historic agreement between the governments
of Nova Nova Scotia Scotia and Newfoundland
Newfoundland
and and Labrador Labrador will benefit all Atlantic
Atlantic
Canadians
Canadians.
Canadians
In addition to transmiting electricity from the
Lower Lower Lower Churchill Churchill to Nova Nova Scotia Scotia, Scotia I have
agreed to transmit old CODCO CODCO episodes to
every living room in Cape Cape Breton Breton. Breton
Provincial officials in Halifax Halifax Halifax have agreed
to ship Cathy Cathy Jones Jones
Jones back to Jelly Jelly Bean
Bean
Row Row in downtown St.John’s St.John’s, St.John’s in return for a
nice bottle of screech.
This is a complex, billion-dollar deal. No
detail, however small, has been overlooked.
The contract will be ratified once Emera
Emera
president Chris Chris Huskilson Huskilson dances a Newfie
Newfie
jig up Signal Signal Hill.
Hill.
I categorically deny media rumours that our
Lieutenant-Governors are included in the
transaction. I wasn’t born yesterday, you know.
Who in their right mind would trade John
John
Crosbie Crosbie for Mayann Mayann Francis Francis? Francis
We are, however, exchanging a plate of cod
tongues for a donair from Pizza Pizza Corner Corner. Corner I
had to give up something to keep Crosbie. But
I’m not eating the donair. I’ll make Crosbie eat
the donair. I’ll tell him it’s stuffed full of seal
meat.
As a show of good faith and inter-provincial
harmony, Nova Scotia’s socialist Premier
Premier
Darrell Darrell Darrell Dexterovich Dexterovich and I will ride the
Marine Marine Marine Atlantic Atlantic ferry from North North Sydney
Sydney
to Port-Aux-Basques
Port-Aux-Basques, Port-Aux-Basques where we will smile
and shake hands with the public, wave the
Canadian Canadian flag, and swap photographs of
icebergs and whales.
I hear Darrell has a mighty impressive digital
camera or two!
You know, I never thought I could negotiate
with an N-Dipper N-Dipper, N-Dipper but at the end of the day, it
sure as hell beats talking to Jean Jean Charest Charest. Charest
Down with Quebec Quebec! Quebec Give us back our
Upper Upper Churchill Churchill Falls Falls Falls hydroelectric
project, you poutine-eating frogs!
— — — Danny Danny Millions,
Millions,
Premier Premier of of Newfoundland
Newfoundland
& & Labrador
Labrador
Managing editor: Andrew Douglas
Chief reporter: Dan Walsh
Staff reporters: Neal Ozano
John Williams
Copy editor/Layout: Joan Westen
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DECEMBER 7, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 3